Classic Dick Cheese™

Classic Dick Cheese™ is a cheese brand mainly consisted out of organic monkey smegma.

Origin

The idea was first coined in late 2014 by an unknown man from southeastern Europe, presumably an Ex-Yugoslav country, on a now-deleted Reddit post, but it wasn't until September, 2016, that the first package was sold in a small-franchise supermarket, that denies ever selling such item.

Description

The label itself only states the date of production, date of expiry, the contents (sebaceous secretion found under the foreskin of the trachypithecus poliocephalus, and salt) and a very vague description of how it was made. The word "Classic" is not very accurate considering the fact the oldest known packaging is produced on the 6th of September, 8:02 AM (CET)

The Grand October Return

As of Monday, October 3rd, a month after its first appearance, Classic Dick Cheese™ made a comeback on the shelves of a Bosnian hypermarket chain. The renewed packaging was made by Ólafur Svartfjal, a Norwegian food packaging designer who currently resides in Trebinje, inspired by the work of Spanish artist Salvador Dali. The whole project was lead by Blagoslav Petricic, a Serbian entrepreneur and cheese enthusiast. When asked about the reason of him taking over the production, his reply was: "I did it for cheese." He also released a detailed description on the making of a tub of Dick Cheese.

How-to

First, having the proper tools. The specialized Kurcogrebac (literal translation - Dick Scratcher) is the most valuable tool a dick cheese maker can have. Second, start collecting. Your primate friend should produce enough for a spoonful in a week, so be sure to have enough primate friends

Flavours

• Classic
• Strawberry
• Human (best selling)
• Rancid