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Portal:Politics

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The Politics Portal

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Politics is the art of being wrong. The name is based on the words Poly and Ticks, Poly meaning many, and ticks meaning blood sucking parasites. Politics therefore means many blood thirsty parasites. Basically these politics/politiks or politicians, exist to drink the blood of the citizens of a nation. There are generally three categories of politicians: liberals, moderates, and conservatives. Each are equally partial to the sweet, sweet fuckred liquor of the populace. Conservatives want to make all but the the richest 1% into slave laborers who are forced to build giant pyramids, whereas Liberals want to allow gays to legally marry you against your will. Moderates strike a balance between the two positions, arguing that gays can only force you into a "civil union" and that everyone should have the option of building giant pyramids. Besides these groups, other known practitioners of politics include waitresses, who are most proficient at doing so while businessmen slowly get stoned. (Full article...)


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The American Dream in its most powerful and subversive guise.

A hauntingly compelling vision of crash consumerism in Mona Lisa Overdrive, the American Dream continues to call its public on closer to the precipice of overweight hubris. The most successful public relations campaign of all time, even exceeding that of Stephen King and surprise silent partner Jimmy Carter's conspiracy to Scare the Hell Out of Everbody at $36 a hardcover pop, this barbecue heat-shimmering vision transcends all times, all moral values, and all tax classifications. What is this silent killer, and why does it draw the ambitious onward like trailer park girls to a free keg party?

Definition: Existing as a featured article under the right to pursue Happiness with an itchy trigger finger, the American Dream rapidly gained a large following.…

Archive Article credit: Shandon (more…)



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43rd President of the United States

George Wonderful Bush (born July 6, 1946) is an American politician, businessman, and comedian who was the 43rd President of the United States from 2001 to 2009 and the 46th Governor of Texas from 1995 to 2000. Born in New Haven, Connecticut, Bush is a graduate of Yale University and Harvard Business School. After completing his edumucation, he worked in the energy business, and married Laura Welch in 1977.

Bush served for six glorious years as the 46th Governor of the State of Texas, where he earned a reputation as a compassionate conservative who shaped public policy based on the principles of bipartisanship, limited government, personal responsibility, strong families, and local control.…

Archive Article credit: Bradaphraser (more...)


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This Day in Politics

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Quote of the Day

“[I propose to create a] Commission on Erections and Mounting. ”

— Richard Daley on Senate.
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Did You Know...

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Notable Politicians

Below is a list of remarkable politicians without whom the world would not be what it is today:

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Other Portals

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