Portal:Film

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The Film Portal

Film (pronounced fill-um) is as much an artform as it is a business. It was originally developed as a means to display naked people "getting it on" and distributing it to the masses. Films are more commonly known as Brainwashing Sessions (pronounced Ber-rainwashing Sessions). This name came about from the Baze'd faces people get after watching films.

Movies have baffled psychologists as it was found in a study conducted by the government that the majority of movie goers remain expressionless when watching the loss of life, limb, heartbreak, hatred and racism. Moreover it was found that people were often willing to pay money to see such movies, as well as buy food to enjoy themselves while watching it. To this day psychologists still do not fully understand why human beings enjoy watching such movies. Perhaps it is the thought of paying a lot of money to the movies, sitting with stupid noisy people crunching their popcorn, while getting your eyes and ear bombarded by huge screen and noise. Yes, we love movies.. (Full article...)

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The promotional poster.

Unromantic Comedy is a 2009 UnFilm Production, directed by a bunch of idiots with a video camera, and starring, believe it or not, Cameron Diaz. She obviously hasn't got much good work recently, if this is the kind of thing she is reduced to working in...

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A nursery, somewhere sunny and beautiful in California. Jane is helping out some little kids paint.

Jane: Okay, kiddies, it's time to put away the paintbrushes. You're going home now! (muttered) Thank God.

Child: Why are you thanking God?

Jane: Because he made our beautiful world, Ben, now stop licking the paintbrush and put it away.

Sam then walks in to pick up his child.

Child: Daddy!

Sam: Hello, son! Oh, its so nice to see you...

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This film is brought to you by The Number Eight: The number of muppets it takes to save one.

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Image credit: Sonje

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Did You Know...

… The Straw man was a prominent silent film actor until the end of Hollywood's "Golden Age"

… the Bogeyman is terrible at golf.

… Nicolas Cage started life as Nicholas Coppola, but became known by his current surname because famous film director Uncle Francis Ford Coppola used to keep him confined for protection. Ours.

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C-3PO, a character from the Star Wars universe, is seen here with his usual delusions of grandeur.

C-3PO (often shortened to Threepio) is a fictional robotic character existing in the Star Wars universe. Known to his closest friends as Goldenrod, he is one of the few Star Wars characters to be played by the same actor (acting robot Anthony Daniels) in every film that he appears in. He is also the first "alternative lifestyle" robot to appear in a major motion picture. He is also notable for being one of the only characters to appear in each film in the Star Wars Septology. Despite living millions of light years from Earth billions of years ago, C-3PO appears to have some sort of English accent…

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