Uterus

The Uterus is a species of agnathan fish of the class pteraspidomorphi. It is a parasite of women that feed on semen and flowers. It resides in the fluid of the coelom, near the vagina.

Appearance

They have 2 life stages

Larvae

The larvae are tiny, thin, pale-green, worm-like creatures. There isn't much more to say.

False globalist drawing of a 'uterus organ'

Adults

The adults are relatively large. They are pink in colour, with a dark purple shield. The mouth is round and sucker-like. The head is short, with large eyes on the sides of it. The shield extends from the head to the base of the tail, but with the sides and belly exposed. They have 4 arm-like fins without rays or fingers, a long, tall anal fin, no dorsal fin, and a wide, pointed paddle-shaped caudal fin. The males are thinner have smaller shields, and possess a long horn

Life Cycle

The lifecycle begins when the newly hatched larvae crawl onto cakes, biscuits, and other sweet treats. When they are eaten by a pregnant woman, they make their way to the stomach, and chew into the baby through the crotch. They then form white, scaly cocoons for 12-13 years, while they mature. They then emerge, and start thrashing about and causing random health issues. They also tend to get parasites in abundance at some time of the month. They often bite themselve trying to remove them. This causes bleeding and lots of thrashing, causing stress and cramps. Once the women dies, the uterus swim away, into the rivers, and become male or female. At the end of the year, all adult uterii that have left their home engage in a vorgy, where the males are eaten, and the females crawl onto land, and lay their eggs on plants and other stuff. The females that miss the vorgy become uterus tentacles

Zoology

Species

• Furry: African giraffe • Baby Seal • Bear (Polar • Bipolar) • Cat (Daemonic • New Hampshire Merchant) • Elephant • Furries • Gazelle • Human • Otter • Sheep • Skunk • Slender Loris • Moose
  Feathery: Birds • Chicken • Homing pigeon • Kingfisher • Peacock
  Scaly: Corn snake • Fish • Goldfish • Salmon

Culture

• ...in history: Lycopardus Parthenophagus (French monster) • Bucephalus (horse) • Great Elephant Revolt (2011) • Jaws did WTC • St. Peter's Basilica (reptile)
  ...in sports: Cow tipping • Kitten hurling battle • Kraft Dinner (horse) • Rough Gay Wolf Sex • Seal Clubbing • Water Polo... With Sharks!

• Slimey: Blue-ringed octopus • Frog • Pond Whales • Salamander • Sturgeon • Uterus
  Creepy crawly • Ant • Cockroach • Lobster • Spider • Sun Bee • Wallet moth
  Other: Balloon Animals • Gazebo • Grue • Toaster • Snipes • Womp

Media

• ...in books: Did you ever lock horns with a goat? • The journey of the ugly kitten • The Life and Times of a Cute Little Puppy
  ...in the news: Delicious New Zealand bird... • Political extremism on the rise... • Man wakes up • Wolverine hits the big screen

• ...in science • Antbortion • An infinite number of monkeys with typewriters • Crypto-Zoology • Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters • Tapheselachophobia • Whale bones
  ...as food: • Easter Bunny • Firesheep • Frog Semen • Kittens
  

...as... huh? • Kitten Huffing

Media

• ...in film: 001 (guinea pig) • Bi-curious George (monkey) • Donner (reindeer) • Flying Purple People Eater (something) • Football Nature Documentary • Garfield (cat) • G Rated Talking Animal Movie (film) • Steve Irwin (animal grabber)