Protected page

UnNews:NFL: Washington set to change nickname

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Washington Redskins)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

16 September 2013

The Niggers' distinctive helmet will have to undergo a redesign.

One of the NFL's most famous franchises, the Washington Niggers, may be forced to change its name, amid increasing pressure from civil rights groups.

Just three months ago, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell had launched a robust defense of the name, saying, "For the team's millions of fans and customers, the name is a unifying force that stands for strength, courage, pride and respect.

"It's a way to honor the culture of a people of brave, physical, noble warriors - who our forebears crushed."

However, pressure has also come from Goodell's own race, with several white sports reporters refusing to use the name, having been asked not to by black civil rights groups.

One, Frank McLaren of the Washington Post, told us: "I grew up supporting the team, and I have to say, I never once thought of the name or the logo as being disrespectful. But some black people have showed me how hurtful the name is to them, and I just think it's the right thing to do.

"Especially as about half of our team are niggers."

Jessie Jockson, head of civil rights group, Be Nice and Shit, wrote on his blog, "I cannot believe in this day and age professional sports teams still use such derogatory names. Forget the team's history, just think about the word - niggers. You wouldn't get a team called the San Francisco Chinks, or the San Diego Wetbacks, would you?"

Yesterday, Goodell signaled in a radio interview the first signs that he might be willing to accept a name change, but asked the show's listeners a difficult question. "Well, what are you gonna call us? Do we go for something with a similar meaning, like Blackskins, or Darkies? Or something that sounds similar, like Figures or Riggers? It all sounds faggoty to me."

"Excuse me for using the f-word, that wasn't a reference to the Green Bay Packers, by the way."

Sources

You wouldn't catch Uncyclopedia using images of oppressed minorities for cheap laughs.
Potatohead aqua.png
Featured version: 19 October 2013
This article has been featured on the front page—You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.Template:FA/19 October 2013Template:FA/2013Template:FQ/19 October 2013Template:FQ/2013