User talk:Under user/Archive 11

Unzip

And urinate. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:23 1 August 2008

Unflap

And shit. - [15:27 1 August] Sir FSt Don Yettie

too far. *shakes head* at least I had the PEEING connection there. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:28 1 August 2008

Adopter/Adoptees Of The Month

Interesting how that happened... --mrmonkey72 15:33, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

You so totally deserved that for a really busy and impressive start here. If you settle down and really polish up some of your stuff as DJI suggested, I can see you challenging for further awards in short order. Given the amount of help you haven't needed though, I can't really take an iota of credit for it. Still, yup, serendipitous timing, really. Good to see you about, by the way! --UU - natter 15:47, Aug 1

It's all part of the master plan. Yes. Yes. ~ 15:44, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

We all dance to the tune of the Zionist puppeteer... --UU - natter 15:47, Aug 1

He calls, and we... follow. --mrmonkey72 16:07, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

signpost

UU, the signpost still hasn't gone out. i can't find the dudeman. what do we do? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:45, 1 August 2008 (UTC)

Try raising Skullthumper, see if Fnoodle can be activated. Beyond that, I dunno. I don't do the bot thing myself. MrN was planning to set one up but I dunno how far he got. The final option is to manually subst a copy onto everyone's talk page yourself, but I don't recommend it! --UU - natter 22:30, Aug 1

I ccame across a MrN9001 once, he said he was a bot. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 04:46 2 August 2008

9001 was going to be a revert bot. Can't do this guys. Sorry. I might get round to doing something like this, but don't count on it for a while... Kick Dudeman in the balls. If he can't be relied on to do it, we will need to find a different system... MrN 14:04, Aug 3

Well where's Fnoodle? Isn't Skull an admin now? He should be doing this, it's half his fault anyway for (half) starting teh paper in teh first place. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:54 3 August 2008

Just quickly

What happened to your vote on Insomnia for the top ten? It's fair enough if you don't wanna vote for it anymore but it just doesn't seem like it was you that changed the vote, like someone deleated it. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:19 4 August 2008

Expecting imminent ban: didn't remove vote, feel free to restore. --UU - natter 08:22, Aug 4

TKF banned me twice last night. Well have fun! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 08:23 4 August 2008

Help me with this

I need help with my "a candle for a sin movement" article. It has been moved to my userspace for some reasons. I need some ideas to make it somewhat better. I'm hoping it would be in the poo lit surprise. I need it on the mainspace as soon as possible. please. i'm not good with the navigation in uncyclo yet. so help me please. --Chez Anthony 11:51, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

Ummmm....

It looks like you cast an eleventh vote, by "me," for "Insomnia", over at Uncyclopedia:Top10 08/July. What's going on with that? pillow talk 14:22, 4 August 2008 (UTC)

I think that must have been someone else changing names. cos U.U.s vote dissapeared and your arrived, I just never checked it untl you said it. I recently re-added U.U's vote cos I though someone deleated it. sort it as you wish. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:25 4 August 2008

I think it was when I was trying to fix Hype's vote on the one at the bottom of the page - he'd put it in the wrong place, so I cut and pasted his vote to where it should be. Then I went to make my 10th vote, for Insomnia, and pasted my vote as I had done the other 9 times. Only, of course, I was pasting Hype's vote instead. And I totally didn't notice. Shows I really do need a break huh? Speaking of which, better get back to work again - that ban did help thought! --UU - natter 14:34, Aug 4

List

Could you check that one by JoeMonco. he decided to eview my article without anyone asking and to me he came across kinda mean. MrN told me to get you to do it. Ta. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 18:33 4 August 2008

UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

We're delivering it to your door anyways!

July 31^st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!

The biggest little whorehouse on the internet By Gerrycheevers Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration. While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article. Virus exposes user vulnerability to death By Regret Tenenbaum Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following: a lump in one testis or a hardening of one of the testicles The testicle should normally feel smooth to the touch. Ridges may be felt because of enlarged blood vessels or tumor growth. Additionally the entire testicle may feel hard and bumpy to the touch. Abnormal sensitivity (either numbness or pain) loss of sexual activity sexual withdrawal build-up of fluid in the scrotum a dull ache in the lower abdomen or groin an increase, or significant decrease, in the size of one testis blood in semen General weak and tired feeling The testicle with a tumor may be severely enlarged, as much as 3 times the original size. Simultaneously the other testicle may be shrunken in size, due to the tumor taking up the majority of the blood supply to the scrotum. Other nasty stuff. Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.) The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any. Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him. Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right...

Check out these pages! Ever get interrupted on the loo? Is PEEING taking the piss? Drama! From our logs: 21:17, 23 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 62.88.33.191 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Try to suck less. You're sucking too much. I didn't say "stop"! Take your time. Yeah, that's the stuff. Now gently squeeze my balls.) 17:24, 24 July 2008 Sannse (Talk | contribs) (blocked SIR TOM CRUISE! with an expiry time of 3 months (no dear, Baha'i is the Truth, or Judaism, I can never remember) 02:34, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Dammit, stop being a sockpuppet!) 14:41, 28 July 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) unblocked 4096.256.16.1 (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Oh, I bet you think you're all crafty n' shit, don'tcha? DON'TCHA! Well guess what: I can see through your ruse now, you sockpuppet-impersonating iIdunnowhat!) 21:04, 29 July 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.196.62.163 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Wanker: Take a day off. Take some deep breaths. It's only France) Biopic of the Week The Woodburninator ~ What should thou doest upon sighting The Woodburninator? Run away, apparently. Unless you're looking to read some high quality articles. Last month's NotM has made quite an impression on Uncyclopedia in his short time here, despite claims that he is about as useful as the 5-star rating system. Don't be fooled! WB is on track to contribute far more than the ratings system (especially since the average UnSignpost rating is about 1.2), and then some. Just don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage... Old-school featured article of the week Check out Moon hoax. Ever been told by one of your know-it all friends that we never landed on the moon, and it was all staged on a set in the desert? Well, after reading this article, you should be prepared to thoroughly debunk your narrow-minded chum. Just be sure that you wager heavily on 'we went to the moon' before you start explaining. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 7/28/08 Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - You will learn the true meaning of Christmas after much embarrassment and the intervention of a friend with a dictionary. see more horoscopes Foreign Uncyc Page of the Week: Russian Hyper Text Coffee Pot Control Protocol and the Crappy Translation. Quotes of the Week <DrSkullthumper> Goatse is work safe if you're a proctologist <AAA^> "Muslim Porn: Women revealing their hair"

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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 08:01, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

Hea! Are you not meant to be banned?

Anyhow... I was wondering.. If? Per-chance... MrN could humbly request a UU Special? should the opportunity arise for such a thing to be possible... Don't go getting sacked now. MrN 10:21, Aug 6

During the day? No. I'm trying to be disciplined and not managing it as well as I should, but I have far too much to do to take on a review. As to the evening, between football training and wedding stuff, I have little time left these days, so the best I can say is: if I have enough free time any time, I'll get right on it! --UU - natter 10:25, Aug 6

Sorry dude, it's not looking likely. Much as I'd like to (and I would), I've got zilch free time between now and sunday, and there's a good chance I may spend that slumped on the sofa trying to recover from all this "work" I'm unaccustomed to doing! A cursory glance over says I quite like it (I'm a sucker for puns of any kind), and I'd like the chance to spend a bit more time with it and give it a good going over. I think you need to sprinkle a few more puns up front, to get the reader's attention a little more. The key is to avoid sounding too similar to the sexual innuendo article. Oh, and I'm not sure about the Mrs Slocombe bit, spelling the puns out that way makes it too obvious, for me. Still, looks like plenty of chuckles to be had, and I look forward to reading it in more detail whenevr I have time! Hope that gives you a bit to work with though. --UU - natter 19:11, Aug 7

Thanks man. I will take a look through sexual innuendo to see if I can understand what you mean... Hope you don't get too comfy on the sofa. We need you here you know... ;) MrN 20:33, Aug 7

signpost

well, today's issue is set. you can give it a once over if you so desire and you're around (i hope my incarnation of your article on the ops was satisfactory). as far as next week's issue, is there some sort of blank template that you keep somewhere in order to create it? i'd like to get an early start on it. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:01, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

I might take a quick glance over, but I'm sure you'll have done your customary quality job! Template issue is here. I always find it using the Special:Prefixindex page - one of the lesser-known but handy special pages. UnSignpost in "prefix", "Uncyclopedia" in namespace, and off you go. Also handy for tracking down back issues to check what's already been said. And for other things too! Anyway, many thanks Gerry, I'm incredibly grateful to you while I'm snowed under at work. I'll have to pop some sort of template your way sooner or later1 Anyway, can't stop - real life shit to do again, see you around! --UU - natter 19:01, Aug 7

Thanks for vote

Thanks for the vote:)— Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:21, 11 August 2008 (UTC)

I KNEW you'd come back

Quit your job, UU: you know you hate it. Just live here, in cyberspace. Remember our motto: What happens in Cyberspace stays in whateverblahblahblahIcan'tremembertherest.   Le Cejak • <15:40, 12 Aug 2008>

I never left. I just kinda didn't do so much while hanging round watching stuff happen. Oh, and doing a shitload of work. I know it's out of character, but I'm off on a 3-week honeymoon soon, (and I'll be properly gone during that) and I kinda want a job to come back to. And as soon as I win the lottery, I'll quit all jobs and just lurk here like a rich, lurky, reviewing toad or something. How's that summer job thing of yours going? --UU - natter 15:48, Aug 12

Well, I thought the job would be more interesting than they made it sound. The kids in juvie have to sit in a 10x10 cell all day until we tell them to come out, which does not sound like the psychology career track to me. I think I'll just stick with going to community colleges for a while. Now back to you: are you fired yet? Can UU come out and play? HEY, UU'S BOSS! UU HAS OVER 11 THOUSAND EDITS!!!   Le Cejak • <15:54, 12 Aug 2008>

But once they do come out, surely there's plenty of psychologying to do then? Dealing with the trauma, accepting their place in society, helping them fill out an application to work on "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy", that kind of thing? I've managed not to get fired so far, but it can only be a matter of time. Time, the healer, the destroyer, the bringer of certain job loss at some time or another. Ah the hell with it, I'm gonna drive home for the day and go kick "soccer" balls at other people for fun. Y'all have a good evening now! --UU - natter 16:01, Aug 12

/me posts UU's edit count to the director of a certain "un-named" British banking organisation... :-) MrN 15:56, Aug 12

Banking? Never been near the profession, except to beg for more money. --UU - natter 16:01, Aug 12

UnSignpost: August 7th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

August 7^th, 2008 • Fourteenth Issue • Just like Grandma used to make!

Uncyclopedia Forum set to consume the Internet By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Top scientists at the Uncycloversity this week predicted that a Village Dump topic, started in June by prominent Uncylopedian and alchemist Spang, will one day consume the entire internet. According to the university's top expert, Dr. Skullthumper, Ph.D.: "This is one of those things that could go on forever. I mean, at least counting to a million has a definite ending. With this, there is no end, since everyone wants to be the last person to edit." Wikia staff member and Uncyclopedian Sannse predicts that the forum topic will take up all of Wikia's hardware by late 2009 and will then begin to "consume all around it, like I did that time I tried marijuana." She went on to add, "nothing will be safe – not even Wikipedia," before blessing herself and staring reverently at a statue of Jimmy Wales. Others, however, are more optimistic. According to Modusoperandi, "eventually someone will invent some sort of robot or hobgoblin to automatically edit the topic, and then it will have to be locked. Either that, or someone will figure out that there is no prize, rendering the whole thing pointless. And then I shall be the winner!" Spang was unavailable for comment because, according to his spokesperson, "he is busy in his cave dreaming up more crazy schemes to destroy the internet." Admins everywhere! By Gerrycheevers If you're a wiki-troll, cyberbullying vandal or extremely crappy article, you'd better start watching your behind. Three new deputies were voted in by the Uncyclopedia Sheriff's Department: Dr. Skullthumper, RAHB, and Roman Dog Bird. The trio were bestowed this great honor last Friday by Codeine. This brings the total amount of active authority figures who could wallop you over the head with a banhammer to 29. The reason for the unusally high number of new sysops is that a clear consensus could not be reached, and also that all three of these individuals are "awesome". The new admins were extremely pleased and greatly honored by their new title. None of them wasted any time in executing their first sysop move (RAHB and Dr. Skullthumper banned Cajek; Roman Dog Bird deleted one hundred articles, then banned Cajek). The prescence of these new neighborhood patrollers was evident immediately, with QVFD being renamed "Skull and RAHB's House of Huffing", and placing {{VFD}} in an article now automatically classifying it as "Roman Dog Bird's bitch". The reactions from the new sysops were similar, with all three pledging to delete bad articles, ban unworthy knuckleheads, continue plans for world domination, and "try not to muck up the site too much". RAHB has set himself lofty goals, including "keeping it cool" and some wiki-related nonsense that this reporter didn't understand. Roman Dog Bird wished the readers of the Signpost to know that he said "something", and went on to add that he will continue to "clean crap up...only now with more power." Dr. Skullthumper is thankful that no one has caught on to the trio of new ops and expresses his optimism as far as not being immediately de-opped, but also listed several early accomplishments as well as future goals. With these three brave new souls now patrolling the corridors of this silly wiki, it is truly a dark time for terrible articles, merciless vandals, and Cajek.

Check out these pages! Against againsts? Census time Is it, in fact, Hammer Time? Skullthumper revealed! From our logs: 01:57, 1 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Okay, that's enough Uncyclopedia. Bye.) 02:05, 1 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) unblocked Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) ‎ (ARGH NOOOO I CAN'T ESCAPE) 20:14, 3 August 2008 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Orian57 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 15 minutes ‎ (Admins do not abuse their powers. On the contrary, Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia) 14:21, 6 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) huffed "EQ" ‎ (Thanks for the Psychology course refresher. Don't worry, I paid attention in that class, I don't really need it.) 15:54, 7 August 2008, Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.106.53.68 (Talk) (expires 15:54, 8 August 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (I don't know what the Somali is for "Don't do that". But don't do that.) Biopic of the Week SysRq ~ Not just a button on your keyboard anymore (well, half a button, really), SysRq has become quite the Uncyclopedian in his time here. Spending his time writing awesome stuff, utilizing his platinum urinal, and coming up with stuff on the fly, he has earned a spot among the elite that Uncyc has to offer. (And this seems to be a bit of a recurring theme, but again, don't scroll all the way down to the bottom of his userpage.) Old-school featured article of the week Check out Battle of Gettysburg, a harrowing documentary of one of the bloodiest battles in the American Civil War, and one man's fight to get through it. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Gemini (May 21 - June 21) - Help! I am being held hostage in the horoscope editing room! see more horoscopes

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Painstakingly hand-delivered by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:24, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

signpost

great article, UU. i'll see if dudebot is fixed up yet; otherwise i'll fire up the gerrybot and do some deliverin' again. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:21, 14 August 2008 (UTC)

Thank thee for your expression of faith

Prettiestpretty thanks thee for finding her image of Image:Thelastbachelorparty.jpg to be just right for Featured Photo Status Fondly, PP

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:38, 15 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 14th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

August 14^th, 2008 • Fifteenth Issue • May contain traces of humor

Uncyclopedia kidnapped! By Gerrycheevers In a shocking development, a brazen individual absconded with Uncyclopedia just over a week ago. Users were shocked when their attempts to access the site between 18:33 and 20:07 UTC on August 4th resulted in a sinister message being displayed, promising the swift return of the wiki should the kidnapper's demands be met. Panic ensued, with several Uncyclopedians wandering off to places unknown, never to return. Once the site was restored and the intertubes reconnected, the identity of the culprit was obvious: Orian57 had made the last edit before the ninety-minute gap, with the ominous and puzzling edit summary of "I AM STEALING UNCYCLOPEDIA!!!" The site itself seemed to be mostly fine after its harrowing ordeal, with the exception of VFP, which turned all of Zombiebaron's against votes into ten for votes during the first few hours back. This reporter caught up to Orian57, and had the opportunity to talk with him at some length about the reasons for the abduction. After consulting with his lawyer, Orian agreed to comment on the situation. On why he stole the wiki, he said, "my motivation for this cyber-terrorism wasn't something trite like 'because I could' or 'it wasn't me'. No. It was because nobody was paying me any attention!" It seems that Orian, in a desperate bid for attention, locked the Uncyclopedia server in a basement, and attempted to edit it so that all content referred to him. Perhaps his subconcious got the better of him, or perhaps the spirit of Sophia came to Uncyclopedia's rescue. In any case, Orian claims he heard a female voice speaking to him, which convinced him to return the server and allow "uncyclopedians around the world to stop masturbating and return to peeling potatoes or whatever they do." Some sort of competition finishes By UU So as you may have noticed, recently a contest of titanic proportions has been gripping the world like no other event. Palms have been sweaty, nails have been chewed, bribes, threats, and allegations of stimulant abuse have been rife. But now, the latest incarnation of the Poo Lit Surprise has drawn to a close, and so our attention can drift to that bunch of steroid-enhanced nutters at the Olympics. Finally, the questions on everyone's lips have been answered. Providing they were related to the Poo Lit Surprise, and who was going to win. Other questions, unfortunately, remain unanswered. However, if you do want to know who won, and haven't found out already, you can find out here. We could just tell you here, but where's the fun in that? We should, however, point out that if you haven't seen all of the articles yet, there are some real crackers amongst them, and not just the winners either - which probably reflects well on the Uncyclopedia Community as a whole, although it may just hint that everyone saved their best articles for this one small period of time and now has nothing else to offer for another 6 months. We'll see, but in the meantime, have a look at all the entries - there should be chuckles on offer whatever your sense of humo(u)r!

Check out these pages! WHAT'S with THE caps SITUATION? Out with the old... ...and in with the legends? From our logs: 13:06, 8 August 2008, Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 60.54.79.28 (Talk) (expires 13:06, 9 August 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (Blanker: You disappoint Vishnu.) 19:45, 11 August 2008 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Dxbn (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You're a boob. Not the good kind, either. If you were, you'd have a nipple right 'there'. Just the thought of you being the good kind of boob makes me a little hard.) 19:51, 11 August 2008, Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.40.99.2 (Talk) (expires 19:51, 11 November 2008, anon. only, account creation blocked) (blanking is the lowest form of wit. Even lower than Steve Martin.) Biopic of the Week RadicalX ~ Since the dawn of Uncyclopedia, users have had the need for images. And RadX, himself created with Adobe Photoshop, has obliged. Even a quick look at his image gallery should cause you to drop to your knees and weep. He also is an extremely talented writer, and spends his time spreading the light of The Church of T with his prophet, Bradaphraser. Old-school featured article of the week Ever been knocked in the nards so badly that you saw stars, but never figured out who the culprit was? Well, it was probably midget cockpunching terrorists. These cheeky buggers have been assaulting the most sensitive area of such well-known figures as Frank Sinatra and Ronald Reagan for decades. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week you should be self-centered in all your endeavors, except for grenade-tossing practice. see more horoscopes Shamless space-filler of the week Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

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Fired out of a newspaper cannon by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:50, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Hey UU

Just mentioning, since I remembered: If you ever need a bot to run the Signpost through everyone — I've got the same thing Fnoodle/THEDUDEBOT were running, I've just used it an awful lot less. Have to say, Gerry's doing a great job there now, isn't he? ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 19/08 20:07

query

ok, so i noticed that Gert5 currently has 3 reviews pending in the pee review queue. this irked me, as i have done more than one review for him in the past where he hasn't improved the article. i checked the reviewed pee page, and i found no fewer than five reviews of his articles, none of which have an edit after the review was given. i thought about sending him a message myself, restating the bit on the pee front page that says "It is an author's job to improve the article based on the feedback given. Please don't make a Pee Review request solely to show off your work with no intention of changing it", but it came off as being mean. what do you think the best course of action would be? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 21:30, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

Ooh, Gert.... Tricky one! Gert puts up a lot of articles for review, you're right. And there's at least a small chance he does it in the hope of a VFH nom of some description (see the recent shenanigans with his self nom). To be honest, I don't think there's any way that we can stop folks putting stuff up for review and then not working on it (I haven't acted on a fantastic review Sycamore did for me recently yet, and I really should). However, I reckon it could be worth asking him to take note of the "quick" pee thing, and only ask for an in-depth review if he does plan to follow all of the advice given. That at least will reduce the amount of time wasted. Worth a shot, I guess. Beyond that, not a clue! --UU - natter 21:47, Aug 21

hmmm good call. i was initally just going to ask him to put 'quick review' in the title, and ask if the article is VFH material or not in the body of the review page, but it got lost along the way and i just started being mean so i didn't post it. but that's what i'll do now, thanks. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 21:57, 21 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 21st, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!

August 21^st, 2008 • Issue Sixteen • The periodical without any junk in its trunk

And the award for Sluttiest User goes to... By Gerrycheevers ...Mhaille! With over fifteen thousand links to his userpage strewn willy-nilly about Uncyclopedia, Mhaille takes home the Slutty for the sixth consecutive time. Everyone's favorite moustachioed chappie overtook Codeine in early 2007 and never looked back. When asked about this momentous achievement, Mhaille was still in shock from the victory. "I'd like to give thanks to my mother and my father, for first taking me into the family business. Without their years of experience and their guidance I would not have become the Slut I am today," he said. "It is for them that I hope to make it a seventh title!" Coming in at second on the list was the legendary Benson. Despite having only twenty edits in the past year, Benson has managed to rack up over twelve thousand links to his userpage. He still enjoys a several thousand link lead over slut number three, Thekillerfroggy. When asked how Benson managed to not only maintain his lead, but actually increase it, TKF said, "A wizard did it." In-depth investigation by this reporter revealed that Froggy's signature may have something to do with it, as random selection feature will occasionally cause TKF's sig to spam dozens of links to Benson's userpage, mostly in Dr. Skullthumper's userspace. UnSignpost gets new paper-boy by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Uncyclopedia's semi-official newspaper, enjoyed by literally several readers each week, has hired a brand new paper boy. This individual has been delivering the UnSignpost for the past two weeks. This cost cutting measure was announced after the guy with the keys to the delivery robots disappeared, taking the keys, several thousand dollars in cash, and a stapler with him. Unconfirmed rumours made up by me suggest that he intends to staple the money to the keys before turning the stapler on himself. The paper boy, who calls himself Gerrycheevers, says that it is a tough job, but he is glad to be able to contribute something. "It's a tough job," he told UnSignpost reporters "but I am glad to be able to contribute something." The young paper boy is saving up his pocket money to buy a new frisbee. The mammoth task has taken its toll on young Mr. Cheevers, leaving him with severe wrist pain and an acute hatred of humanity. "It totally messed up my wrists. I was out of action for days!" he said. Most Uncyclopedians are said to be happy with the new service, saying that they prefer the more personal touch that comes with human delivery. "Those damn robots trampled my garden, broke down my door and killed my dog with their death-rays" said one unfortunate Uncyclopedian. In a related story, Gerrycheevers has been 'throttled' from such activites as moving pages and making mass edits. His repetitive edits have apparently pissed off at least one admin, and Gerry is now limited to one edit per four hours. He has used these edits carefully, and has managed to find a new paperbot. This week, the UnSignpost will be delivered by MantiBot. Subscribers can only hope the new delivery system works out, or the UnSignpost may be doomed.

Check out these pages! Testify! Taking the community down a peg Stop the madness! Think of the children! Etc.! From our logs: 16:52, 17 August 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.212.136.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You are now officially really hated on Uncyclopedia. Congratulations.) 21:30, 16 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.220.124.187 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month, 2 days, 3 hours, 4 minutes, 5 seconds ‎ (Blanking a featured article? No mercy.) 06:19, 16 August 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.72.7.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Go and write some bad poetry or something) 10:51, 20 August 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked Nmeallin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (We regret to inform you that Chuck Norris does not approve of page blanking.) Biopic of the Week RAHB ~ One of the most (if not the most) decorated Uncyclopedians ever, RAHB is one of those guys who seems to be everywhere. Whether it's writing awesome stuff, taking care of crap, or banging out narrations, you can always count on this guy to be lurking somewhere in the bowels of Uncyclopedia, toiling away at his next project. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Being grateful this week could result in improved relationships. Being grating this week could result in cheese fragments that will melt easily over nachos. see more horoscopes VFD Survivor of the week "One man touches the other/it's incest cus were all brothers/you may say its wrong/well its the touch eachother song" Pithy VFH Comment of the Week Meh. I liked the conversation bit, but the rest is pretty bland. Skull tells me he wrote it for a girl or something. And he admits himself that it isn't very good. Well, I wouldn't feature it anyways. Oh yeah, and everything you write is shit, Skull. Everything! Shit, shit, shit! Now start writing something funny, you SHITTY WRITER! Shit shit shit! SHIT!!! - RAHB (Unfomercials:Inspirigun)

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— MantiBot Owner 12:44, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

You're winner --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 03:36, 24 August 2008 (UTC)

1st in Blearchery, 2008 Unlympics.

cajek's pee

hey UU, it seems a large number of reviews got left off of User:Cajek/Pee, namely the ones between the two 'Cajek might be gay' entries. just a heads up. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:19, 28 August 2008 (UTC)

Ah man, I try, but right at the moment I'm running rapidly out of time. Work is a madhouse, every spare second at home is swallowed up by the ravenous beast that is the bloody wedding... I'll try to take a look at it, if I get time, but you might want to prod Hv or Orian, see if they can help out. --UU - natter 20:36, Aug 28

yea, i've noticed that you've been a little inactive lately, even since those latest nine times you almost got fired. i'll ask orian, he was updating the list recently as well. and cheer up - i hear honeymoons are better than uncyc! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 21:24, 28 August 2008 (UTC)

alright UU, i've reviewed the reviews in the reviews queue, and updated the page accordingly. i ran into a few minor snags (almost moving User:Cajek/Pee somewhere else, and temporarily giving hyp a 102% in-depth rating), but i think i got the hang of it. i don't mind updating the scores and whatnot of my own reviews, but could you take a look at them to ensure they're of acceptable quality? for convienience's sake you can look here, at the reviews from 'vampire ninja' down to 'needle'. thanks! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:34, 29 August 2008 (UTC)

excellent, thanks UU. i'll try to keep checking up on the page now and then, to ease your already impressive workload. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:46, 29 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008

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August 28^th, 2008 • SEVENTEENTH ISSUE SPECTACULAR • Word to your mother

Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce By Regret Tenenbaum At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden '1000' in the count to a million project, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars. On that note, the Porn Wars ended earlier this week with a tentative truce between Commander Jailbait and General Pervert. The war began the week before, when Regret posted a pin-up girl to balance Orian's photo of a scantily-clad male, claiming he was "bringing balance back to the universe." Regret also stated he would "fight to the death"... or at least until Leddy stepped in, this time to call a "three-pornstuffs rule", which eventually ended the erotic feud. Meth, a constant editor on the forum, said "'twas a fortunate day for all under 18." Still, even with peace returning to the forum, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times. That would mean 3000 archives, give or take." To which another user responded, "unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always trudge on, giving Uncyclopedians something with which to kill thirty seconds, and also giving UnSignpost reporters something to write about. Lack of cure for testicular cancer kills 100 Uncyc members By Methamphetamine Uncycloversity members are still failing to find a cure for our previously mentioned testicular cancer, and to date, 100 people have died of said cancer. When nobody died, some user said it was a rumor made by some other user to piss us all off, right before clutching his balls in pain and dropping dead. Within an hour, about 16 more people died a cancer-related death. A live update shows that 105 users are now dead. You could be next! Don't panic, that'll make you die faster. Regret Tenenbaum, the user who originally warned of the disease, had this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!" to which he added "Na-nanana-nanana!" The death toll is expected to reach into the thousands, with no end in sight. A memorial was set up earlier today to remember the dead, with one number added for every fallen Uncyclopedian. With fear and panic filling the hearts of users everywhere, there is one question that is on everyone's mind: "WHY GOD, WHY?!" Another live update show that 200 people have now died, and out of those, 10 people killed themselves in anxiety. Remember to always feel your testicles with your fingers. That's right. It helps prevent the cancer from reproducing.

Check out these pages! VOTE VOTE VOT Everyone tell Cajek what they've been up to Who is the man behind Uncyc's curtain? The truth about wikia's staff! From our logs: 05:22, 20 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 12.219.249.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days, 14 hours, 15 minutes, 93 seconds ‎ (Blanking Africa does not make it go away.) 20:45, 24 August 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Norwich (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (and you're an annoying cuntfluff) 09:39, 26 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 93.190.63.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (o hai, no blank plz. kthxbai.) 00:41, 27 August 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) huffed My balls (content was: 'Sweaty and hot.') Biopic of the Week TheLedBalloon - Feature machine and Star Wars aficionado, Uncyc's resident hockey expert has come a long way from his humble beginnings. Seeming to appear on talk pages where there is conflict brewing as if there was some giant balloon signal silhoutted against the clouds, Led's recent oppage ensures that he has the tools to keep Uncyc as most excellent as possible. Old-school featured article of the week Five-time World RiskTM Champion Napoleon Bonaparte was a man of great stature. He enjoyed many military victories, revolutionizing armed combat. He rose to the rank of Emperor, and came closer than any diabolical supervillian has (before or since) to conquering the world. Unfortunately, nobody took him seriously because he was short. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 8/25/08 Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - Think long and hard before misdirection-linking to the Uncyclopedia article on Penis, as it could result in stiff competition between you and other members of your unit. see more horoscopes

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–—Hv (talk) 30/08 20:05

ROTM

I don't mean to be petty (which I am), but looking over the score (I did not update the scores but we both have seven votes including self fors) me and Hyperbole were actually tied as of midnight last night? — Sir Sycamore (talk) 11:29, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Oh noes! You didn't both win!? The curse! the curse is spreading!!! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:34 1 September 2008

Er, hate to say it, but no, you didn't. Orian here gave you a nom, but his for went to Hype. Looks like Hype's last minute self-for tipped it his way. Sorry man - by my reckoning you deserved it far more, and I hope you get it this month. --UU - natter 11:36, Sep 1

Whoops, I didn't see that:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 11:38, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

New Meaning To Your Name

Your name isn't to do with manholes at all, is it? It's all to do with...um...getting under a user. Ah ha! - [11:03 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

And you are the very first person to ever make that observation. Honestly. You are therefore the most original person who ever lived. Congratulations. You can be proud. Actually, when I registered here, I expected to make, like, one edit a month or something, and really under-use the account. There may be some irony in that somewhere. I'm not sure. --UU - natter 11:09, Sep 2

I totally know, I'm the most original person that ever lived. It helps that I drink 50ml of Cajek's blood every morning. Yup there's three portions of irony with peas in there. See what I did there? Aren't I hilarious?!? - [11:17 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

His blood? I heard semen was more conductive of originality. Someone lied to me. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:18 2 September 2008

I...uh...heheh...it worked though. - [11:19 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Coulda been worse. I coulda been under U.U. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:26 2 September 2008

No. No you couldn't. --UU - natter 11:28, Sep 2

Best. Line. Ever. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:42, 5 September 2008 (UTC)

Not when you've heard it as often as me. D-: SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 10:47 6 September 2008

You're lucky. I just get a slap and a kick. - [10:57 6 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

Imagine what would happen if you drank Modus's blood. If he had any. I mean, he's from Canada. They probably have some freaky substitute there. --UU - natter 11:28, Sep 2

Not. Best. Line. Ever. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:42, 5 September 2008 (UTC)

If you follow the "discussion" on my talk page, they only have one eyebrow. To share. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:30 2 September 2008

Maple Blood - less added sweeteners than ever before! - [11:31 2 September] Sir FSt Don Yettie

UnSignpost: September 4th, 2008

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September 4th, 2008 • Eighteenth Issue • STOP!! SIGNPOST TIME!!

Uncyclopedia copies Conservapedia By Gerrycheevers Recently, on the fact-based no-spin-zone wiki known as Conservapedia, there has been debate raging over whether to ban all atheists from contributing. Apparently conservapedians believe atheists (those who deny the existence of the creator) to be at the very least a hinderance, and at the very most a hideous group of venom-spitting demon-eyed savages who feed on the blood of children. If this motion garners enough support it may become a 'Conservapedia Commandment', along with 'no girls allowed' and 'slow down, this is a neighborhood.' Mild amusement and complete apathy were rampant among Uncyclopedians yesterday. Some poked fun at the silly conservatives for proposing such a Nazi-esque measure. Others took up the reigns in a new thread: should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia? It seems support for this action is widespread, and soon 'Cthulhu tests' will be administered to random users at random times. Failure of such tests will result in soul consumption. User Heerenveen had this to say: "I believe that it shouldn't matter whether you are an avid worshipper of Cthulhu, just someone who pretends to like Cthulhu to fit in with your mates, or indeed a foaming-at-the-crotch atheist (of Cthulhu), you should be infinibanned from Uncyc regardless. Unless, of course, you are Cajek," to which Orian57 added, "Richard Dawkins is so sexy." As is the norm here on Uncyclopedia, the controversy was immediately parodied, and then the parody of the controversy was summarily parodied. It has yet to be seen whether the parody of the parody will in fact be parodied. Movie Trailer Announcer Guy Dead at 68 By Gerrycheevers IN A WORLD where JUSTICE is a distant memory...where HOPE seems desperately out of reach...where THROATY BARITONES are hard to come by... ...ONE MAN performed voice-overs for OVER NINETY FOUR THOUSAND FILMS. His DEEPLY SONOROUS VOICE could turn even the most BORING movie into AN ALL-OUT THRILLER... ...Most famously known for THAT GEICO COMMERCIAL HE DID, that man's NAME was DON LAFONTAINE. Critics hailed him as 'THAT MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY' and 'THE DUDE WITH THE CRAZY VOICE'... ...On Monday, LaFontaine PASSED AWAY suddenly when a FIERY EXPLOSION in a SHRAPNEL FACTORY caused the TURBO-CHARGED SPORTSCAR in which he was being pursued by MONGOL HORDES to CAREEN OVER A CLIFF. He was 68...

Check out these pages! Another user says goodbye CENSORED Unflinchingly rigid vanity guidlines to take effect immediately From our logs: 07:32, 29 August 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.174.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking is uncreative, feeble-minded, and scientifically proven to be evidence of underdeveloped genitalia.) 20:57, 31 August 2008 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.109.95.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Go masturbate somewhere else.) 03:32, 2 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.59.31.226 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Exemplary douchehattery.) Biopic of the Week 15Mickey20, Uncyc's resident tennis analyst, has won virtually every writing award and competition in existence on the entire site. His PLS and Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball entries were both later featured, and his WotM award stems from the rest of his totally awesome articles. Mickey Mantle is pictured a the right for no reason at all. Old-school Featured Article of the Week Hammers are extremely useful tools, most usually used for whacking stuff. Employed by Norse Gods, Italian plumbers, and 90s rap artists, the hammer can also be used to gouge out eyes and perform other tasks. Reading up on this article will result in increased knowledge of the hammer life cycle and sexual abuse of hammers, but may also cause severe cranial damage. This Week's Horoscopes Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - When you assume, you typically make an ass out of Ume. And you know how sensitive that guy is. see more horoscopes

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―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 5/09 16:43

Morning!

Hope the stag went well... Did they manage to tie you to anything or remove any of your under garments???

What do ya about User:Under user/Fish Puns‎? MrN 09:25, Sep 8

Morning old chap, I am pretty well unscathed apart from a colossal paintball bruise on the side of my face (superb shot, just at the point where the mask stops...) The evening was a good one - my mates know far better than to try any such shite with me, I'm happy to say, and so a good evening was had by all: my underwear remained untouched, I remained unhandcuffed, and their noses remained unheadbutted! I really like what you've done with the article. You've made it pretty much your own, and done a top job on it. As it is a subject close to my heart, I do intend to get stuck in to it and make sufficient contributions before the weekend to be able to claim it as a collab rather than a MrN special, but yeah, nice stuff! --UU - natter 09:34, Sep 8

Awesome. It is obviously a collab! I did get a bit of a wave of inspiration and managed to spawn some good eggs I hope. Hopefully you will not be swimming up-stream to hard to expand it as I fear I have poached many of the best puns... It will be awesome when it's finished. Most of my section was kinda of "how to" sort of thing, so maybe you can come with more about the history, use in education, and their well known use as a military weapon... MrN 09:43, Sep 8

Thanks

Sycamore has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thanks for looking out for my stuff again:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 14:24, 8 September 2008 (UTC)

You're kidding, right? That guy is so amusingly clueless, it's a pleasure to watch him spin in his own delusions... And you are always welcome. --UU - natter 08:33, Sep 9

about the Chill

"Hi there Yartet. A quick (but hopefully helpful) word about your Sarah Palin Chronicles stub thingy, if I may...."

Thanks for the info. ;-)

Here's some stuff I found.

http://www.

encyclopediadramatica.com/Main_Page

encyclopediadramatica.com/Sarah_Palin

encyclopediadramatica.com/16-year-old_girl

encyclopediadramatica.com/John_McCain

encyclopediadramatica.com/Bristol_Palin

Yartet 15:26, 9 September 2008 (UTC)

Uh, we're not ED, and they're not us. They do things differently to us. Some people make a big deal out of it, I just prefer to get on with stuff and let them get on with theirs. But yeah, don't compare our stuff to theirs, it works a different way! ;-) Still, whichever you prefer, and whatever you do, have fun... --UU - natter 15:30, Sep 9

So yes

About the wedding thing? It's not as painful as you might think. Quite nice actually. Also, good morning UU! ~ 08:10, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

I hope so, because this preparation's killing me! Many congratulations to you and the Missus, and good morning to you Mordillo! --UU - natter 08:12, Sep 10

I know what you mean, I didn't get much sleep for three weeks or so. But in the end, it was really fun. If I can have the fun part again without the logistics, I wouldn't mind at all. ~ 08:14, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

They say the first wedding you attend after your own is a great time, because you can really enjoy it, appreciate it, and don't have to do a sod of the work! I'd invite you to ours to test that, but I don't think we can change the list at this short notice ;-) --UU - natter 08:54, Sep 10

Tell me about it, you'll probably have to shift three tables, move fifty peoples around, have a fight with your parents, her grandmother, and your best mate. I'd love to come, but I wouldn't want to put you through that ordeal. ~ 09:52, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

Potatochopping

You do that, right? Which means you must have a good photoshop programme thing for doing it, right? Do you know where I could get a free download for it, or another good one, that won't fill my computer with viruses? Just I'd quite like to be able to fiddle with pictures and do fancy stuff too. Thanks muchly. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:17 10 September 2008

Not really. I have Fireworks on my work laptop, which is a web designer's alternative to Photoshop. It does what I need it to, but I've no idea where to get it from for free (get a job that involves a laptop with it already installed...) I believe the GIMP is widely held to be pretty decent for a freely downloadable bit of image manipulation software. And of course, there is the potential for so many homophobic jokes inherent in its name. How can you resist? Beyond that, I'm no help. --UU - natter 14:24, Sep 10

Ah, Sissy mentioned that one actually. And I think you meant "homoerotic jokes". Anyways thanks: Though I really wish people would stop telling me to get a job. For fucks sake! SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:27 10 September 2008

get a job, you git! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:29, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

oh, you should get one too, orian. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:29, 10 September 2008 (UTC)

You two can get off my back too. Unless...

Orian's Piggy Back Service £5 per child £10 for adults!

There I'm officially an entrapenour (or however it's seplt).SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 14:41 10 September 2008

Mazel Tov!

Just catching you before you're off, have a great great wedding, and all the best! Send my regards to missus Undra Usera as well. Mazel Tov! ~ 11:03, 12 September 2008 (UTC)