User talk:Sonje/1

Welcome!

Hello, Sonje, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

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Hey dood

Did you make that Wilde coin image yourself? It's very good - why not consider putting it on VFP? It'd be a massive improvement on the current Foolitzer Prize award template too. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:55, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

I did make it, thank you :-) But being a n00b, I do not know how to put it on VFP or what the Foolitzer prize is? Assistance would be appreciated --^Dame 11:59, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Put it on the Reefer Desk first - I'm not so hot when it comes to images, but there's a few users there who'll be able to help you and make worthwhile suggestions. The Foolitzer Prize is a monthly award given to the user judged to have been the best UnNews writer in the previous month (ie; me in January ;-)). The template is a simple gold medallion, which in my opinion is far inferior to yours. I've suggested in Radical X's corner that your image is used as a replacement, so let's see how it goes. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:19, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Thanx a lot! I'll see what I can do :-) --^Dame 17:24, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Another call for arms! (and legs!)

I said I'd be back one day, I did. With a full metal jacket and a throatful of hatred. Oh wait, sorry. Wrong person.

I said I'd be back one day! I am still nonplussed by your work with the dongs article (speaking of which, thanks for the vote! I'll send a template thanks-for-the-vote-thing anyway, should the nomination go through) and I'm very eager to call for image help from you once more.

One thing though, the words once more may be a touch light; I have quite a few ideas for photoshopped images I want on the article. The article in question is the still-under-construction-anyway User:Nachlader/World Wildlife Fund, whereupon animals are pitted one another (I hope you aren't offended by that, some of my articles seem to lean towards strange topics anyway), referencing the WWF/WWE abbreviation dispute.

So the images are primarily animals that are each others throats (although, one of my ideas is to have a lion at a press conference). Some blood (okay, a lot), some wrestling images that need to be manipulated and snarling beasts that engage in a fisticuffs - all ideas I'll go into detail if you choose to accept this offer of bribery. I already have two images that I like, including the WWF logo you commented earlier last week sometime (I'll touch up the pixels at some point, honest!), but making a rough assumption of the finished article length, I'll be looking to add nine more, although some of them may be normal caption based images produced by yours truly. But for the brunt of the image work, I wish to have a professional at the wheel.

I realise you're working on writing your first article and if you're too busy or if you just don't want to help me out, that's super-fine. However, I did think that next time I needed images, I would come here first before RadX's corner. If it is eligible, I'm thinking of putting this article forward for the mainspace award in the upcoming PLS. I'm also thinking that you could potentially take the best illustrated article award for the images. But it all leans on whether you want to help me out. Interesante? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:57, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I'd love to help. To be honest, I enjoy the artwork more than the writing, but my adoptive Unparent will have my head if I dont write something soon. I'm working on an article for the 2010 Soccer World cup in SA, mainly about it being a tourist bloodbath. In all honesty, I reckon my future contributions will be mainly images, sound and proofreading. But enough about me. I'm keen to help, I read the article draft and I think its great. Send me details of exactly what you want and I'll get cracking. I think we should be a bit careful with the level of gore though, or some might take offence. But blood is good, I can work with blood. Feel free to come here if you have image requests, the recent requests in the corner are rendering me somewhat suicidal, bleh! Oh and thanks for all the votes as well, I would've nominated the dong article but you beat me to it. --^Dame 00:32, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

This is simply fantastic to hear. I'll be looking forward to what our ideas can produce yet again! I can understand where you're coming from with the images; at school I only want to focus on my English subjects so I can become a writer for a living, despite how much pressure I'm put under to improve my work in my two other subjects. Here at Uncyc, the best of my skills come through writing - images, templates, formatting, VFH/VFD nomming, awards and the like are beyond me (I've dabbled in each of them... And the results are poor indeed).

Anyway, yes this is awesome. I have several ideas laid plain in my head, but just in case there is a change in the article, I think we should discuss the ideas one at a time. I've already mentioned that there is the idea for a lion at a press conference (perhaps a lion's head sticking out of a suit), but just to set the record straight with what I want the images to put into the reader's mind upon viewing the article, I believe we should start with a killer - literally, this case - image, that fully defines the nature of the subject. As the topic covers a wrestling company for deadly animals, the first impression in the reader's mind may be of a wrestling ring with two animals exchanging fists, with some blood evident. The base idea I had for this is a gorilla and a lion, put in the position that they are about to fight in a wrestling ring (all that is needed of the ring is evidence that the beasts are in a arena, so it could be just the backdrop and forefront of some ropes. Or, if you're interested in making this detailed, having any old PPV camera view of a ring with the animals in works fine. You can decide on this, obviously). What are you thoughts?

Also also. Regarding the WC South Africa 10 article you're writing, I'm intrigued, since I'm a die-hard football fan myself. As a way of thanks, you can ask me for help if needs be - although I know I'd be getting under Led's nose (again). ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:53, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Mkay, lets get started. Here is the first draft of the press conference pic. It still needs some work but I don't want to do the wee niggly stuff till you're happy with the overall pic.

WWF Press Conference

I thought it looked weird with just the lion so I added more animal heads. I've also got quite a few base images to work with for the fight scenes. Got some awesome shots of Kuma from Tekken 5, those will be great to edit into a battle scene with a lion or something. I'm working on it. At the moment the best fight shots I've got for animals are bears and lions, with a few gorillas but they don't pose as nicely. Does it HAVE to be a lion and a gorilla or can it be any of the fights mentioned in the article? Also, I really like the shark VS chihuahua bit of the article, I think I could so a good pic for that. Maybe a poster from Jaws with a chihauhua in a tutu swimming in front of the mouth or something. But feel free to suggest any changes you might want, I keep all the project files so it's usually easy to do. --^Dame 11:23, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

The press conference picture is absolutely brilliant. The lion's head feels incredibly proportionate, as if the head does belong to the suit (the other two look fine too). I can see why you felt the lion's head would be lonely, the other animals add depth to the article. The killer image that I said I wanted too see a lion and gorilla in doesn't have to have those animals - however, I'd rather it not have it feature a bear or one of the battles mentioned because I think the article will feel more genuine (to me, genuine is to humour as asphyxiation is to sex. But then that's just me). The caption I had in store for it was something like "With battles between animals like a frigging gorilla and a lion, you can understand why the WWF attracts a large fanbase". However, I will not get in the artist's way if they prefer to work with different animals. I'd at least like the animals to typically ferocious, such as a tiger, since I haven't mentioned that beast yet in the article. As for the chihuahua image: go for it! Wherever you believe a better image could be installed, I won't get in your way; the only reason I added the current picture was because I thought it'd add some humour value by relinquishing on the clearly unbalanced fight between a small dog and a shark. Also, I'll mention two other ideas I had swimming in my head: a belt for the WWF championship section, and a snake with half a worm hanging out of it's mouth. I think the match types section deserves an image too, but I don't know which match type is easier to get into an image. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:28, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm still going to fix the press conference image up a but, the gorilla's arms need colouring and the bear's head is not 100% yet. And I should be able to do a gorilla and a lion. The belt should also be fairly simple but will need more detail, I'll see what I can doo about the snake but it might not show up too well in a thumbed pic. I'll try and do it as soon as I can but juggling between work, band practice, social responsibilities and my various uncyclopedia projects is a bit rough this week. Should calm down over the weekend though. You know what they say, good things come to those who wait... --^Dame 21:54, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

And if these good things are coming from you, I'm prepared to wait for eternity. By all means, please take all the time you need; I know I need to take my time as well, since I'm taking it easy in the home run for my hiatus. This is very good news over the progress and I'll be looking forward to it. By the way, it's interesting to hear about the band; what do you play? What kind of genre? Thanks and thanks again for the heads up. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:28, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

No problem, I'm having fun on this project, but I appreciate your patience. Multi-tasking can get intense if overdone. As for the band, it's a work in progress but since shameless-self-promotion seems to be the order of the day round these parts, you can check us out here I am ze vocalist. --^Dame 01:29, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm lamenting my laptop's lack of sound software now - the band sounds very interesting. I listen to about half of the bands that are mentioned in the influences list (listening to Pearl Jam as I type this), I need to figure out how to make my PS3 access networking sites on it's browser. Anyway, you have a very creative lifestyle - I'm still trying to improve my voice and motivation to learn guitar, as well as improving my drawing (currently it's detailed doodles on textbook margins, but I'll improve someday...). ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:33, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

Lion VS Gorilla

My guitarist is trying to improve my guitar skills but I suck at singing and playing at the same time. Multi-tasking is not my forte its seems. Anyway... I've made the preliminary fight image between the lion and the gorilla. It still needs fine tuning so its not perfectly in focus, but I dont want to start on the finer details till you've approved. ANd also let me know if you want specific things added ie: logos, blood, ect.--^Dame 12:02, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Again, this is a fantastic image. I guess the only problems I can identify would be the qualms you have yourself, perhaps the lion looks a bit small (but only a bit), but otherwise this is a brilliantly made image. I recognise the WWE background too, but only because of the red Angle for Prez sign I can spot, just above the gorilla's left shoulder. Perhaps the sign could be 'animalfied' somehow? Also, is that King Kong? It might be that because I think the gorilla is from King Kong, who is bigger than Jesus on stilts, that I get the illusion that the lion is smaller. No worries though of course, it works anyway, and how. I think the image is great, but I'll do more than to bow down to your decision to fine tune it in any way. The project is looking fantastic so far. As for multi-tasking, I always thought women could do that, not us! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 23:14, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Shark VS Chihuahua

Mkay, I made a few small alterations to the gorilla vs lion pic. It is King Kong, yes. It was the only fighting gorilla I could find with high enough res. I took it from the poster where he is smashing a plane. The lion is now slighly larger and the banner in the background now says WWF. And here is a new addition. I don't know if you want to use it but I thought it might be funny. I'm working on the belt that you asked for. Was there anything else you wanted? My multi-tasking is improving, young Cheddar below also needs some pics, so I'll get those sorted for the poor boy. And then there is the ever illusive first article... Oh and just a note, when you move the article away from your userpage, there is an article on WWE which currently has a redirect so if you search for "World Wildlife Fund" it takes you there. Might wanna remove that for optimization. --^Dame 02:32, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

The changes to the lion vs. gorilla image is fantastic and is yet another potential VFP, if you're not tired enough of hearing that yet! The shark vs. chihuahua image is a good idea, but I'm concerned about the dog. It doesn't look like it's swimming (to me anyway), let alone the size that doesn't exemplify on the chihuahua's minuteness. I understand if the legs are intended to look like they are kicking, but it's hard when there is no apparent splashing where the dog's body greets the sea from the surface. Furthermore, the Jaws concept feels a bit old to me (I've seen images like this before in magazines), however I am interested in the idea. Doing a quick whip round on Google gave me a few images of a Chihuahua swimming (although, most needed to be cropped of swimming pool features and filthy humans). I found some more interesting screenshot opportunities on YouTube, such as this one, but the only problem is that videos tend have less picture quality than photos. This would mean breaking the camera viewpoint seen on the Jaws image (where both the underwater and the sky can be seen), as well as the evidence that the Chihuahua is in the sea. Perhaps you could try and work some more with the Jaws image, or you could seek another way round it. As for other images, I'm happy to hear the progess on the belt! The other images I was interested to see was the snake with a worm hanging out it's mouth (I'm interested in having the snake in either a white background or something wrestling-appropiate) and one more image (before I can cease to bother you, finally) which should be discussed first. Essentially I want an image for the Match Types section. As ever, thank you for gracing me with your photoshop skills. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 15:52, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

I see what you are saying about the shark image. I'll finish the other ones you requested before I go back to that one. But first, here is the belt. Unfortunately it is a "World Wildlife Federation" belt because it would take a thousand years to change "Federation" to "Fund". Any suggestions? --^Dame 18:59, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

WWF Championship Belt

The belt is fantastic. I want to print it out and wear it at school all day tomorrow. Don't worry about the "Federation" part - it offers more chance for the caption. LOOKING FORWARD TO WHAT YOU'LL CONJURE NEXT. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 19:25, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

The snake and the worm met briefly before the match

Very subtle hint there (zippit). Anyway, I don't know if this one will work. I tried it with a worm dangling from a snake's mouth but it just looks like its tongue is mutated. Also, I am mortally afraid of worms, snakes are ok, but googling for worms is like my worst nightmare, man. But if you seriously want a half eaten worm pic, I'll have another go. My talk page is becoming a novel, but lets discuss this type match pic, what do you have in mind? --^Dame 18:40, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

The snake picture suits me fine(-a-mundo). I'll keep your worm phobia in mind. Strange that you have nothing against snakes though. It's like being afraid of domestic cats, but being comfortable around a lion. Anyway, I was thinking that this image could also be a killer - whereupon the picture features instantly typical memes associated with the subject. I was interested in seeing the cage match become a reality. I'm unsure what cage it should actually be, a cage from a zoo, or a WWE cage match (alternatively, the roof version is the 'hell in a cell', but the cage match is where the wrestlers have to escape). Really, it should be your choice, which ever you find easiest to work with, since my mind is kaput right now. As for actions, I'm interested in seeing a panda getting involved in this, since I'd like to see it in some other form from the logo, and the other animal could be anything. Maybe a kangaroo or something, an animal that is of similar stature to the panda, but not usually associated with man-eaters (unlike the bear and the lion and etc). The cage may obscure the content, so it'd be worth having that as a background anyway. What are your thoughts? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:16, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

WWF Cage Match: Panda VS Kangaroo

Ok, here is the preliminary idea. It is REALLY hard to get the animals in the cage. What do you think of this so far, any suggestions? I used the animals from Tekken 5. --^Dame 15:11, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

This is very good, as ever. I can understand how hard it is to get the animals behind the cage, so my position fears are voluntarily allayed. Perhaps some shadow work could be done, though? Other than that, I love the image. The 'roo is positioned superbly in front of the cage door, as if the fight has yet to begin and the animals look too real to be from Tekken anyway. I'd be interested in seeing a couple of shadows under the animals, but I'll be moving the article to mainspace (and unto PEE review) anyway. Cannot thank you enough for your input! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:01, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

I hate to do this...

but can you make a pic for me? I've waited a long time for responses on the image request board, to no avail.I want to nom the article, but without more pics, I don't have a chance and I didn't know what else to do? Can you help me out?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:30, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Ok, but I saw that you already have a picture of Jenny. I can make the pictures you requested but I'll have to make a new one of the park bench if you want all of them to have the same face becaue that picture's resolution is too low to use the face. --^Dame 02:45, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

That's fine, thank you. I wasn't deadset on that picture. It matched what I wanted, but if you can make one that fits with other pics of her that would be great. (I actually went to the guy who made that pic about a week ago, asking if he could do two more, but he never responded. He also didn't have a userpage, so...)--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:35, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh, and congrats on the featured pic.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:37, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the nom. Much appreciated. I'll try and have those pics done for you by tomorrow. I found the original pic the other guy used for the park bench image so I'll just edit the same girl's face onto all of them. --^Dame 02:35, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

So I'm trying to find pics that I can edit but I'm struggling. I did however come across this one which I think might work as it is. If you don't like it, I'll make something from scratch but using this one would overcome the whole face editing thing. --^Dame 13:28, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

You're welcome, it was really no problem. Oh and that pic will work fine. I would still like one of just her with the face editing, if you can do that. The pic of just her (not the bedroom pic) doesn't have to be real specific. Pretty much any girl with that face edited on. If you can't, I'll try to work around that, but thanks awhile for the pic you just put here.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:38, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Actually, could you maybe edit the window one a tiny bit too? Just so it looks like her hair is longer. Ya know, not a whole lot, but just some. If not, it's cool.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

Gotcha! Begging for photoshopped images, eh? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ok, anyway, since my adopapa is BEGGING for them, why not the poor adopted me, huh? So, pleeeze, Sonje, I want a fancy pic for my page Nile (band), I see you are a fellow metalhead so it will be an easy job... Do it, and I will vote for you at the "n00b ov da munth", PROFIT!!! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:18, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Cheddar - I've given the girl in the window picture longer hair. I need a bit more time on the face pic, sorry. Mahm00shA, I'd be happy to help, but you'll have to be a bit patient cause I owe Nachlander a few images and also your adopapa. My own adopapa is also gonna be mad at me if I don't finish my article soon. But give me a description of EXACTLY what you want and I'll see what I can do, I do like PROFIT :-) --^Dame 15:01, 19 March 2009 (UTC) Yeah, go ahead and take your time on it. No rush. --Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

oh, sorry for my late reply, i didnt see it on my watchlist. Anyway, what i wanted was photoshoping a cover art or a live performance photo.. But you know, the entry is locked now for pls judgment.. So take your time, ill be waiting SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:52, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Hey, just wanted to check up and see how it was going. Are you close to finishing up with the pic?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:40, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Eeeek! I totally forgot! I'll do it over the weekend, sorry. --^Dame 19:49, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

No problem. It's not like when I get upset, I begin stalking people and eventually shooting them and then calling them from prison when I miss and get arrested, and instead of talking, just breathe heavily into the phone. (Get the reference?)--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 14:00, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

How's it coming? I don't mean to rush you, but I do want to get this article finished in the soon.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

Ok, since you are in a hurry, you'll have to help me out. I'm struggling a lot because of your park bench pic. Here is the original: [1]. I have no idea where the other guy got the face from. Creating the black around the pic is really easy. So here is what we are going to do. Find me a pic, or preferably a few pics of a girl that looks like how you want Jenny to look. Use one as the pic of Jenny alone, and I will use the girl in that pic to make a new park bench image. If you do that, I can finish this for you TODAY. --^Dame 12:21, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Any of these should work

• 
• 
• 
• 

  (In the bottom left)

Also, if you have another pic in mind that you wanna use, feel freee. You don't need to use one of these. But if you pick your own, please show me first.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:33, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

I see you have a fetish for emo chicks... anyway, here you go. Lemme know if you want changes.--^Dame 21:08, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

• 
• 

What's this about a fetish? I... uh... don't know what your talking about. [Ahem] So... I think that'll work. I'll contact you if it doesn't look right in the article. Thanks.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:10, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 19th March

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March 19th, 2009 • Issue 39 • Committed to both Bringing You The News and The Happywood Insane Asylum

Forum topic created; Modusoperandi posts witty response By Gerrycheevers At a certain point this week, a relatively green uncyclopedian posed a rather ill-advised question on one of the Forums quaintly known to patrons of this silly wiki as the 'Village Dump'. A few seconds after the aforementioned certain point this week, resident cheek-tonguer Modusoperandi responded by intentionally misinterpreting the meaning of the question, twisting the querist's words, taking advantage of some sort of delicious pun, or otherwise causing mischief in the usually serious, informative Forum. Reactions were, as usual, mixed in the community. Several anonymous users were outraged at the lack of tact and formality displayed by the wily Modus. "Uncyclopedia is serious business," said one pitchfork-wielding mob participant. "We would descend into total anarchy if it weren't for the court system, the press, the boron smelting plant, and the sanctity of our information distribution system." Other users seemed to support the flashing of rapier wit, claiming "if we can't laugh a little, then what's the point? Without humor, we'd end up in hell like all those poor souls who lived before Jesus invented comedy in 23 A.D." Modusoperandi himself declined to comment on the situation, only offering this brief reply to a query seeking a comment: "She told me that she was eighteen. She also told me that she human and was not, in fact, a bonobo. If you have any other questions, please direct them to my law firm; Alan, Whitcomb, Silverstein & Bonobo." It seems the elusive Mr. Operandi is free to continue in his forum havoc-wreaking, as nobody has stepped up to officially denounce his actions. All bonobos involved were unavailable for comment. UnSignpost Editors Under Fire for Bonuses By Gerrycheevers This week the Uncyclopedia community was outraged to learn that the UnSignpost, which recently received a Wikia bailout, will be giving hefty bonuses to the very dunderheads responsible for driving the periodical into the ground in the first place. The extremely active Uncyclopedia Senate has vowed that action will be taken against the editors set to receive the lucrative bonuses. It may be possible that they will be blocked from editing or even exiled to another wiki. Uncyclopedians were, for the most part, outraged. Popular user Mnbvcxz had an unrelated statement quote-mined by an UnSignpost journalist to produce the following comment:"I[...]is[...]finished," a possible indication that he will leave the site in protest of the bonuses. The founders of the newspaper refused comment, as they want nothing to do with it anymore, and true to that mission this reporter was chased off the the grounds of the Cajek mansion by bunnies wearing bee costumes. The current editors were hounded, with Under user having this to say: "I don't think there have been any "comically large" bonuses paid out. There have simply been adequate contractual remunerations allocated to key staff to reward their loyalty and unstinting efforts. Every penny of these almost insignificant amounts is richly deserved. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to buy a large yacht and fill a swimming pool with cash to float it on." Gerrycheevers was absolutely unavailable at press time.

Check out these pages! Windows sucks The ratings system sucks You suck From our logs: 11:00, 15 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Slicktorine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbullying: We just don't care about you or your friends. Sorry. I suggest you ask him for a date. He's probably a really nice guy.) 11:10, 17 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.124.60.187 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Here is a sharp pointy thingy up your ass. My finger. Don't worry, I washed it) 11:43, 18 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) moved Jon snow to Jon Snow ‎ (capital punishment) 11:39, 19 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9001 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (insubordination) Biopic of the Week Savethemooses is one of the legends of Uncyc lore. Once the king of the featured article hill, his recent inactivity has allowed him to slip to seventh, despite having twenty-five features, which is more than you ever will. In fact, the only way you will ever come close to experiencing the glory that was STM's being is to go nominate several of his articles on VFH right now. Like, right now. Old-School Featured Article of the Week Pixellated Face Disease is a rare condition in which a person's face, caught on camera, will become blurred, or 'pixellated'. There is no known cure for the disease, and there are several associated conditions, such as Blurred Registration Plateism and Black Strip syndrome, the latter only affecting the eye region. Cajek Ban Joke of the Week In this week's uproariously funny UnSignpost issue, the second story misdirection-links the phrase "blocked from editing" to Cajek's userpage. Retraction of the Week The current editors of the UnSignpost have recently become aware of startling differences between the current Signposts and editions from early in the newspaper's history. We would therefore like to retract the following issues: #1, #3, #6-13, and #16.

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MnbvcxzBot 05:27, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Approved

Just a note so you know. I highly approve of what you're doing here for Uncyc. Keep up the good work! I see many, many featured images in your future.

--XlacidaR (Holla!) 13:20, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Wow! Thank you very much Your Radical-ness. I hope I shall live up to your expectations. --^Dame 23:54, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

An IC request

Save Neverland Ranch Rally

Forgive me, I know nothing about photochopping. That's where you come in. Do you think you can photochop this to look like a "Save Neverland Ranch" demonstration, or if you can find a better photo like it? If you use this one - the blessed virgin in he middle there could be Michael's face. The poster on the right will read "Where will the children play?" The one in front left will say "Save Neverland Ranch!" Or vice-versa. Maybe other things also. Neverland Ranch is being taken down - there is confusion over who owns it. This is rife with parody possibility. How long does this stuff take to do? You're fantastic. --Globaltourniquet - (was TPLN) 22:21, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for the ego boost *blush*. This is kind of a rushed attempt cause I don't have a lot of time and I know the IC project is also on a deadline. Just let me know if you want changes but I'll only be able to do them next week. --^Dame 14:30, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

It's beautiful. Since we have some time, can I ask for one tiny change? The thing is, Bubbles is dead. Can we change that message to something like, "Say it isn't so, Michael!"? Thanks. --Globaltourniquet - (was TPLN) 15:52, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Er... oops. RIP the monkey. I'll fix it. You forgot your sig, dude. --^Dame 15:09, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Like bubbles, the changes are now finished. --^Dame 15:23, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

You are a gem in a shitpile, do you know that? UnNews:Impassioned Fans Fight To Save Beloved Neverland Ranch --Globaltourniquet - (was TPLN) 15:52, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 26th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!

March 26th, 2009 • Issue 40• Spooning the Soggy Vegetables of Truth from the Luke-warm Soup of the News

MrN's banstick stuck in "on" position By UU Popular admin, underwear enthusiast and raconteur MrN9000 has gone on a ban-rampage unprecedented in the recent history of the wiki. Seemingly keen to win his first bastard admin award, the conscientious custodian has already banned more people this month than all the other admins combined. The other admins rallied bravely, with even Spang being seen to ban someone (only his third of the year) as they tried to show they were not now completely surplus to requirements. However, even as this story was typed, MrN banned another 3 vandals, rendering their efforts ultimately futile. Speculation that he is trying to ban more people on an individual basis than Hinoa managed in one go when he banned the whole of Italy cannot be confirmed or denied at the time of going to press. When asked about his phenomenal spree, MrN said "What do all these buttons with "Ban" written on them do? I keep pushing them, but nothing appears to happen". Banning legend Mordillo, when asked for a comment on MrN's ban excesses, said "I believe the man is a menace, and danger to society. I believe he should be castrated, quartered, hanged, torched and his ashes should be scattered over France. I believe he should burn in hell for all eternity. What? Do I feel pity about all those who he banned? Fuck no, I didn't have anyone to ban because of the bastard!" Uncyclopedia now famous By Gerrycheevers In a totally unexpected development, Uncyclopedia has officially earned the worldwide recognition it has longed for since its inception. On the website digg.com, all internet content is sorted and ranked by coolness, similar to the process found in many middle schools. It seems Uncyc's page on spam has reached sufficient 'cool' status as to cause the rest of the site to become invited to the "cool kid's lunch table", along with theonion.com and cracked.com. Reactions were unusually mixed today in the Uncyclopedia break room. When asked what it's like to suddenly be cool, Optimuschris said, "shit, I'll let you know when I find out." Another user, DrStrange, was asked for a comment, and promptly responded "comment duly delivered!" Clearly, popularity has already gone to Uncyclopedians' heads, as such chippy responses are rarely seen. Uncyclopedians have become too cool for school. When asked for comment regarding adding a sentence to the end of this article to extend its length and make this week's UnSignpost look pretty, Gerrycheevers said, "bugger off."

Check out these pages! April fool? 24,000 articles and counting A welcome new feature? From our logs: 14:22, 26 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying: UN:FAIL another victim of the Gay trap. Yep, this means that you are probably homosexual. Seriously, one day you will realise this yourself.) 01:24, 24 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Q.V. (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (FINE!!!!! I'LL SUCK YOUR COCK!!!! GOD, I JUST LOVE THE SEMEN OF A RACIST!!!!!!) 23:28, 20 March 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Barton sucks (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (Whilst Barton does indeed suck, you're barely literate and tragically unfunny. Read HTBFANJS and try again later.) Biopic of the Week Continuing our series of biopics on Uncyc legends, Hardwick Fundlebuggy won Writer of the Month back in 2006, at a time when you were lucky to have an article survive VFD. His awesome writing style resulted in him being named Writer of the Year, of which there are only four so far. It's just unfortunate he had to go to jail... Old-School Featured Article of the Week Snopes is a website dealing with the delicious diversion that is rumor. Whenever you overhear there is a computer virus set to attack, whenever you hear that your favorite horse is actually a zebra, whenever you are told your girlfriend is a lesbian...Snopes will be there to tell you the truth...mostly. Old-School Cajek Ban of the Week 23:10, 5 April 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 67 seconds ‎ (That'll teach YOU to get a false sense of security!)

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9001(bot)  01:47, Mar 28

Danke schön!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

---

Wow

Um, so I never got nominated before, but I heard you were supposed to like... post some sort of big template thing in gratitude of the nominator and stuff? But I don't know any templates like that except for the the grue one. So here goes...

Thanks for the nom! --The Dit 01:11, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

No problem, you deserve it. --^Dame 01:22, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

That was cute. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:59, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 2nd April 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

April 5th, 2009 • Issue 41 • In the fashion of Illogicopedia, the only Newspaper that will jump a okra!

EVIL WIKIA DICTATORS SHUT DOWN UNCYCLOPEDIA By Gerrycheevers Due to high operational costs and "the community being a bunch of gits", the nefarious Uncyclopedia overlords at Wikia shut down the comedy wiki yesterday. This resulted in much confusion, outrage, and blundering about in the dark. When asked to comment about the situation, Orian57 said, "No, because you'll actually put what I say into the paper, and last time you made me look really stupid. Although it is a tad inconvenient. And what do you mean 'Cabal'?" It should be noted that Orian is both exceedingly intelligent and unbearably attractive, and there most certainly is not a cabal of any kind. Other users seemed to have been expecting this for some time. Necropaxx had this to say: "Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long for Wikia to do this. We Uncyclopedians have been total jerks for far too long. I suggest we all go to Wikia and give Jimbo Wales a nice big "We're sorry" and hope he's feeling generous." This editor took this advice to mean that we should vandalize Wikipedia furiously, and redirected their page on Karma to Coincidence. At press time, Uncyclopedia still did not exist, and many in the community expressed doubt that the Wikia Council would ever reinstate the site. With the recent drama over the domain change, and the promise of ads descending swiftly into every corner and crevasse of our wiki, we seem to be simply too much trouble to be bothered with. This reporter considers it to be good while it lasted, and offeres up a toast to the good old days of Uncyclopedia. Image of Dog Holding Paper, not used in UnSignpost for over Nine Months, Makes Glorious Return to UnSignpost By Gerrycheevers This reporter is proud to say that, after being absent from the UnSignpost for over nine months, our lovable mascot "DogNewspaper" has returned to grace this periodical once again. DogNewspaper made his debut in the second issue of the UnSignpost, which covered such stories as 'UnSignpost created' and 'Uncyclopedia is the worst'. After bringing you the second story in issues 2 through 5, DogNewspaper was promoted to "top dog", and accompanied the lead story for four issues in June 2008. DogNewspaper took an extended hiatus after Issue 9 to "see the world" and, more urgently, "sniff the world". After many exciting adventures, our mascot is back to stay, and will likely be used many more times in the coming months in what editor Gerrycheevers referred to as "blatant space-filler. DogNewspaper can take a story and squish it to the left side of the page, extending its length. Now get off my lawn!" DogNewspaper declined to comment, but did wag his tail enthusiastically before rolling over in an effort to have his belly scratched.

Check out these pages! Fabulous! Jimbo is here...? Modus and nostalgia...again From our logs: 00:52, 27 March 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.91.59.14 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I can't write anything for this ban reason. The amount of true doucheiness cannot be described.) 09:23, 30 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a gay admin ‎ (you like rahb. rahb = penis. therefore you like penis. therefore you = ghey. this logic is irrefutable. also, morning mordillo.) 12:57, 31 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Isaacjew (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Wrong, he's not a Jew loser. I'm the Jew - and you lose) 05:05, 1 April 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Dawg (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6247 seconds ‎ (REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED VIA BANSTICK) Biopic of the Week Ljlego is another one of those 'lost legends' of Uncyclopedia. One of the ones who you don't really believe existed, but you're not so sure, because your Grandpa told you stories about him when you were little. And even after reading some of his works, you still don't believe. Maybe there's something wrong with you. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Kill two birds with one stone is a thrilling documentary describing the many ins and outs of avian massacre via large rocks. Many methods, tips, and tricks are mentioned in the cover-all guide. It is also noted that killing three birds with two stones is not any easier than killing two birds with one stone. Old-School Cajek Ban of the Week 00:43, 26 October 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Posting in the forums. You know better than to get involved in the community. Now get back in your cage.)

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9001(bot)  17:59, Apr 2

Dude

Just upload that image under another file name. I would like to keep the old image anyway. Thanks. MrN 22:42, Apr 2

Sorry, sometimes the n00bness shines through, despite my valiant attempts to hide it. --^Dame 22:43, 2 April 2009 (UTC)

Welcome...

...to the Hall of Shame. Wipe your feet. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:59, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

It's not my feet that needs wiping, its my mind... but thanks a lot! --^Dame 09:28, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

You're quite welcome. Keep up the good work, and don't let it go to your head. I'm the big fish around here, buster! Rawr! Etc! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 15:42, 3 April 2009 (UTC)!

Yes, you've always seemed slightly... fishy. But as to my own vanity, does this make me a DUN? And do I get upgraded in the Potatochoppers Guild? *the preceding text was typed in a very humble manner with the typist taking several respectful pauses in awe of addressing the great Modusoperandi directly* --^Dame 15:51, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

DUN? As PotM, yup.

I've upgraded you to fellow in the Guild (providing you with no new benefits whatsoever. Hurrah!). Put Reefer Desk on your watchlist and help people there. Then give it some time, and bug me to upgrade you to Master (again, with no benefits). Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 16:07, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Hurrah! I love "no" benifits, its like benifits but not. Let it never be said that I am not easily pleased. I'll patrol Reefer Desk and attempt to be helpful. Also, thank you for giving me written permission to "bug" you, Muahahahahhaaa! --^Dame 16:12, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

It's okay to bug me. To cut costs I've off-shored the role of me to a company in India, hence the accent. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 16:14, 3 April 2009 (UTC)

Hey!

I'm Tagstit, and you have probably seen me around here a bit. I first off, wanted to apologize for my against vote in NOTM. I just wanted to stick by the rules, and hadn't seen that they changed. I changed to a for, as you are obviously the most helpful amongst the new batch of fresh faces last month. So my apologies. ALSO! I just wanted to know if you could do me a personal favor. For conservation week, I am doing one article on Oscar the Grouch, and am having a hard time finding pictures to suit the theme of the article. I, being a less than average photoshopper, am also having a hard time doing a picture for this. If you are interested, and I would be greatly appreciative if so, I will tell you the situation in the article, and the types of pictures I am looking for. I am very lenient and anything good will work for me. Just let me know. Thanks! ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 23:19, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

No hard feelings dude, thanks for the for vote anyway. I've been meaning to do a "thank you" template but I've only done the PoTM one so far. Anyway, I'm happy to chop for you. Just explain what you want in detail and I'll try. --^Dame 23:25, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Well nothing specifically, just get creative with it I suppose. The set up is that the article is going to run through the life of Oscar the grouch and why he is so grouchy because of it. He grew up in the slums of LA in a one room apartment, his father lost his job in the great depression and often beaten him. His mother died of murder. Then when he was in his twenties, life started to get better. Then he was sent out to war, came back with no money, his girlfriend dumped him and he had nothing left. He had to live in the slums. Stuff like that you know? Just maybe a few black and white pics of Oscar in the slums of LA, or him in a war showing the bloodiness and death of it. With him looking sad everytime. No bright or cheery pictures. Does that help? ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 23:59, 6 April 2009 (UTC)

Sounds simple enough. How far is the article? The easiest way is for me to read it and then I can see where the pics will fit in best. Post a link when you create the page and I'll start on the pics. --^Dame 00:05, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

No problem, I actually wrote everything out on my computer but it froze and everything got deleted. So I am rewriting it now. I will tell you when I finish. Thanks alot Sonje! ~SirTagstit • VFH • NotM • PEEING • CPT • RotM • BFF 03:35, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

I'm Surprised

How's this?

How bout now?

You could've entered in that PLS contest. Ya know, as your first article. No matter what the article was like, you probably would've had a good chance at winning for Best Illustrated Article.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:20, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

Didn't you get the memo? I'm rebelling against the article writing proleteriat. Thank you though, but that Karl Lagerfeld thing was just too brilliant. I'll write... eventually. --^Dame 09:15, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

SORRY SONJE. I need one more picture. Can you get a picture of an angry cop or security guard running towards the screen? I recently submitted Jenny to Pee Review and they said everything was hilarious and loved the pics. The only suggestion was to put in s1 or 2 more. I've already got one that I'm gonna put in but I think I should include the cop one too. Can you fix shop it? YES YOU CAN!! please?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:03, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

Ok. I'll see what I can do. --^Dame 22:18, 7 April 2009 (UTC)

That's a fine pic, but not what I was looking for. I meant in the Avoid Jenny section where it says "Holy shit, who's that big guy coming toward you? Turn around quick. Run, man, run!" Without the gun or Jenny, just a big security guy running straight towards the s--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:16, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

Should be able to get something like by doing an image search on google. Hang on... --^Dame 09:35, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

That's what I thought, but surprisingly there was nothing.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:26, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

I found one, but he is not running. Do you want him to be more threatening? --^Dame 20:33, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

That's a good pic. You can make him look more threatening if you feel it's necessary. I would, however, like there to be a park in the background. By the way, all pics aside, what do you think of the article? And how do you like my spectacular gun picture? Anyways, park background, article opinion, my awesome gun-making skills, please. :D--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

Hows the new one? Need any changes? The article is quite funny in a creepy stalker way. The gun picture is good, the ribbon on the gun needs to be adjusted with a perspective tool though, and the jenny text needs to be blurred around the edges to mae it look like its written on the gun. But overall, not bad at all, and your potatochopping skills are improving. --^Dame 10:09, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

That pic'll work just fine. If you want to fix up the gun pic, please go ahead. (I don't know what the hell the perspective tool is.)--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:26, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

It's not really a big deal. It's fine as it is. Well done. --^Dame 23:35, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

Random Shit

Hey Sonje, whatda think of this?

—Flutter (Talk•Games•Fun Pages•Awards•Help) 01:13, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

I think it is a HUGE success! It is both random AND shit. --^Dame 09:26, 8 April 2009 (UTC)

Your majestic majesty

I humbly endeavor to ask your potato-majesty to upgrade or replace those sucky pics in my article bob the sperm. For further information on those upgrades, kindly refer to the article's pee review entry, or ask CheddarBBQ (he reviewed it). I hope you honour me with your approval, your majesty. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 05:00, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

Has anyone ever told you that you are very good at ass kissing. Anyway, I'd be happy to help but the article looks quite good as is, and its got loads of pics. What exactly are you looking for. --^Dame 23:30, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

quality, your majesty, not quantity.. Oh, and work is in progress at this very moment with the images. I would be very pleased if you join us. The discussion is at cheddarbbq's talk page, if your highness wish to participate. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 23:34, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

Oh your God. How come you never worshipped me like this?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 03:03, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost April 9/10th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

April 9th, 2009 • Issue 42• We Give the In-jokes Recycling Center 90% of Their Business!

Cabalists Decide Cabal Membership At Adequate Amount, Deny Existence of Cabal By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia administrators this week decried the lack of need for new recruits, as they are wholly confident in their ability to secretly control the wiki from behind a moth-eaten curtain. On the voting page, which this reporter will probably be banned for pointing out to the common folk, the current cabal members expressed their desire to see more normal non-admins, or 'normies', be involved with the recent changes page. However, the option for another member being inducted into the cabal was declined, as things like the ban patrol and the Cajek Alert System seem to be running just fine, thank you very much. Cabalists were adamant about their opinions. RAHB had the following to say: "I cannot confirm the non-existence of the non-existent cabal, being that it does not exist, and I'm no Harry Potter-reading fantasy boy. I can however confirm the existence of puppies. THEY'RE ADORABLE!" The non-existence of the cabal was further emphasized by Mordillo who declined comment when approached as he was leaving the Secret Cabal Headquarters & Tiki Lounge. Experts were skeptical of the existence of the cabal, but point out that nothing should be ruled out. "Woof," said UnSignpost political correspondent DogNewspaper (pictured), citing the low level of vandalism and general dickery since the recent opping of Under user and MrN9000, who have become known to Uncyclopedians as "The Redcoats". Co-Creator of UnSignpost Introduces New Creation By Gerrycheevers Dr. Skullthumper, co-founder of the very newspaper you are reading right now, has unrolled his newest creation, the NetBar. UnSignpost editors were too busy and ridden with jealousy to investigate the nature of this new invention, but our technology correspondant DogNewspaper (pictured) was willing to speculate on the new gadget. "Bark bark," he proclaimed, elaborating that this new thing is most likely some sort of candy bar or online tavern. This is not the first time the good doctor has abandoned the UnSignpost to work on other equally trivial projects. Fnoodle, disguised as a harmless spellcheck wiki-bot, is actually a perfect one-eight replica of Skull. This entity has nearly 20,000 edits, mostly vandalisms of pages in Thekillerfroggy's userspace. However, Fnoodle has sat abandoned in the doctor's sandbox since last October, since all of said doctor's time recently has been poured into his new project, the NetBar. Uncyclopedians had mixed reactions today. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user had this to say: "Huh? What are you talking about? Of course I'm drunk." A gathering in the Uncyclopedia break room formed, with users misguidedly attempting to ward off squirrels with the NetBar. When reached for comment, Dr. Skullthumper said, "What's an UnSignpost?"

Check out these pages! Click for great deals on Uncyclopedia merchandise! Filthy Sluts Our lovable mascot returns From our logs: 13:33, 4 April 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.10.224.60 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(we apologise for taking so long to ban you for this, but don't blank pages. thanks for waiting!) 19:28, 4 April 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.155.30.76 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎(Go play in the sandbox, little boy. Uncyclopedia is for grownups.) 22:34, 6 April 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 minute, 32 seconds ‎(There's this guy sitting next to me and he's all "man, I'm pissed off at that MrN9000 guy" and I'm like "okay") Biopic of the Week Continuing in our series on Uncyclopedia legends, Cap'n Ben is one of those legends who is actually active. Since his first edit in March of 2005, the Cap'n has been makin' it happen in various ways: via awesome writings, breaking news stories, or intructional guides. He is even up for Writer of the Month for a second time since his first WotM came back in a time when Uncyclopedia kind of sucked. But it doesn't anymore...thanks to Cap'n Ben. Cajek Ban of the Week 20:16, 2 April 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 78942 seconds ‎ (Unsignpost is resorting to "Old School Cajek Ban" now. It's time to bring the real deal back.) Old School Featured Article of the Week Alternative Medicine is what the cool kids used to use in high school instead of going to the nurse like the other squares. Now that those kids are all grown up, they have continued this tradition of using such non-mainstream remedies such as Extreme Colonic Irrigation, Ass Candling, Homopathy, and Inacupuncture (pictured). Space-Filler of the Week If Einstein was so smart, how come he's dead?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand-delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:58, 9 April 2009 (UTC)

Is there anything as cute an innocent as......

It's Naked Barbie Time! Times are tough out there but Barbie™ and all of her friends sure know how to show their appreciation for your generous vote to feature Economic Collapse Barbie™ They'll be seeing you in the bathtub later on tonight!

.....A warm tub filled with naked dolls? Oh, to be 7 years old again!--    11:40, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Indeed, 'tis very... er... nostalgic? --^Dame 20:43, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Jenny

it's nommed. Do I have your vote?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods

CheddarBBQ nominated his HowTo:Get Over Jenny article, but I feel there's still something amiss... There's this image that's bothering me... CheddarBBQ made a fine attempt and I gave it a try as well (unsuccessfully, I'm afraid). But could you test out your potatochopping skills on this one? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:33, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

I made the original. Then CheddarBBQ messed with the colouring. --^Dame 20:41, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Maybe you can use my version and make her face darker or something... —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:45, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

I've updated my original version. The face is a bit darker now. I think it's probably cause her face is more pixelated than the guy. The whole editing saga is documented on my talk page a few sections up. --^Dame 21:02, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Additionally, what do you think of my version? The face is too light, but I think it was a decent 'chop. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:11, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

It is a tricky pic to chop. You did quite well, but besides the colour, the perspective and the angle is a bit off. And you can still see a bit of Uma Thurman's hair behind Jenny's head. Keep chopping though, choppers seem really scarce round here. --^Dame 21:18, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

But if you'd darken the face (her hair included) you'd probably end up with a similar color as Uma Thurman's hair (was that Uma Thurman?) in the original. I don't have the software to darken things... —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:27, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

I didn't mess with the coloring. I tried to make it darker to fit in with the pic, but that didn't work, so I left it. I did remove a tiny bit of makeup from under her left eye, but that's it.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 21:38, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Yes, but if her hair was the same colour as Uma's, she wouldnt be Jenny anymore. I don't think it's that important though. It is a minor detail, I mean it's just a thumb pic, not VFP or anything. --^Dame 21:41, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Well okay, but I think on the current picture some things seem somewhat um... weird. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:53, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

So the whole demented, creepy, stalker, multiple identity, homicidal maniac thing WASN'T weird?--71.207.14.13 23:34, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

And bob too

Humbly, I endeavor to request your vote for bob at VFH, your highness. :p SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 22:52, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

In Graltitude

 In gratitude for your vote  

  The GlobalTourniquet says "Thanks!"  

Understandably, you voted for my article for featuring. Although your "for" vote was not extraordinary, as the article's genius was beyond question, it is still appropriate to acknowledge your dutiful participation in the process.

So, in gratitude for your vote, I will dedicate my next common typographical error to you. Thank you.

The following common typographical errors are available for this honor. Please indicate below this template which one you would like me to dedicate to your user name.

Typing "teh" for "the"

The old e/space swap; i.e. "ther eis" for "there is"

Confusing "Dr. Spock" and "Mr. Spock", again

Typing "Soluble fish" for "aaaand double drat!"

Um...I...needsomehelpagainsorry. 8(

Just so you know, these are Lucky Charms. They're delicious(ish).

Well, hate to be that guy, but I am in need of a pic again. I recently got photoshop, and I would do it myself, but I don't want this article to die a miserable death. I recently got a review of Thin Mints, and it suggested one more picture of the 3rd thin mint, and, frankly I'm stumped. I have no clue what to put here. I was thinking of some big, outrageous thing, or a more mysterious approach, or a random perspective, but I'm stuck. Think you could help me out? If not, I may have leave a sad face on your page.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:39, 14 April 2009 (UTC)

I don't mind helping but I'm a bit stuck on this one. You see, I don't know either of the brands of Thin Mints you discuss in your article, we have other kinds altogether, so you'll need to be more specific with your request. --^Dame 09:54, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

That's the thing. I'm not sure how to be more specific. To clarify, I'm not looking for a pic of one of the first two tHIN Mints mentioned. This will be completely different. Really, it only has to barely resemble something that looks like a thin mint.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 11:04, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

NM I have a different idea for that article. I'll just get a regular picture for that. However, I AM working on a new article, a rewrite of this. Have you seen the Lucky Charms commercials? I'm looking for a still of one of the commercials featuring the leprechaun. Do you know where I could get that? --Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:38, 17 April 2009 (UTC)

That sad face thing still applies.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:53, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Lol, sorry. I'm afraid that your current article choices are literally very foreign to me. As I mentioned, I do not know any of the thin mints you used in your Thin Mints article and I have also never seen a Lucky Charms commercial nor do I know what Lucky Charms are in point of fact (I assume it is some sort of cereal). We seen to have hit a cultural faux pas, my friend. I would suggest doing a google image search using the search term "lucky charms leprechaun". I'm happy to help with images if you give me more details but with these topics I'll need really intricate descriptions. --^Dame 09:18, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Tried many excessive Google searches already, to no avail. So you've never had Lucky Charms? You're missing out. I assume you are... French? Just because of the "faux pas" thing. Hmm... maybe I can just get something else. Yeah, I can probably get different pictures.--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 10:56, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

No, thankfully not French, I'm South African but I live in Scotland. I'll have a bit of a searching session and see what I can find, otherwise I'll just see if I can't come up with something else for the Leprechaun article. --^Dame 11:06, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Thank you Dame Scottish South African Princess Sonje. (I keep it simple. I'm Italian. Period. Ya know, pizza, lasagna, and so on. And if you say you don't know what pizza or lasanga are, I WILL give you a sad, maybe even a disgruntled, face. :D <-not that)--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 19:18, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

ALSO

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!? Do you realize that by supporting HowTo:Get Over Jenny, you are supporting insane, demented, homicidal stalkers everywhere? You should be ashamed. --CheddarBBQ

UnSignpost April 16th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.

April 16th, 2009 • Issue 43 • It's News Because We Tell You It Is

Latest Poo Lit Leads to Quality Flood on VFH By DrStrange The 7th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise has come to a close! This installment of Uncyclopedia's bi-annual competition featured an interesting amount of tie scores given directly by individual judges as well as being present in the overall scores. Recent competitions have featured much more decisive scoring but this time around the points were more evenly distributed amongst the entries. As the winning and co-winning entries hit VFH, we're seeing levels of voting that haven't been seen in a while. The first article nominated to VFH from the competition also came with a bold prediction by one numbskull, who questioned his existence if Karl Lagerfeld did not receive 20  For. votes. At 03:57, 11 April 2009 the 20th For vote was cast by Thekillerfroggy and it's safe to say that the author of this instant Uncyclopedia classic should be considered the overall champion with his three entries garnering him two first place articles and one second place finish. Unscrupulous Unsignpost reporters stalked found Modusoperandi while he was receiving longevity treatments in a Côte d'Azur country club and asked him the following softball question: "Who was your favorite character in the 70's hit sitcom Barney Miller?" to which he answered "While each member of the cast had appeal, as each represented part of America's "Melting Pot", I found the comparatively minor character of Inspector Frank Luger (far right), with his high state of partly-sober curmudgeonitude, to be especially charming." One of our winners was not only a perfect 1/1 by winning the best rewrite category with Money but Sycamore also received the vaunted Writer of the Month trophy for March 2009! Another plink user that fared well with plink his outright victory in the best plink mainspace article category was GlobalTourniquet, plink who wrote an article titled with a plink name that is difficult plink to recollect at the moment plonk. He also had two other entries that received 1st runner-up status, so it was a good showing for the artist formerly known as Thomas Pynchon's left Nut. A user that happens to wander in and write us an offering on occasion claimed a share of first place in the alternative namespace category with the UnNews article Obama unveils education reform plans. Monika should drop in more often! Worst 100 of the Year Stumbles to 10 Things by UU The ever-popular Uncyclopedia Worst 100 Reflections series proves it is as popular as ever! As this great year of Our Lord 2009 passes the midpoint of April, the latest iteration has just limped past 10 items, although one or two of them carry a subtle whiff of vanity. According to our resident math boffins here at Signpost Towers, we are exactly "a bit over a quarter of the way through the year, but not yet a third of the way", and so therefore should have precisely "a few more Worst Reflections than this so far". There are several schools of thought as to why this situation has been allowed to arise. One gaining currency among quite literally possibly some Uncyclopedians is that everyone on the site is so busy producing quality material that they just don't have time to devote to such frivolities. However, the continued existence and rate of progress of Forum:Count to a million neatly quashes that theory. Another hypothesis advanced by as many as no or fewer people is that precisely nothing of any interest to anyone has happened, either on this wiki or on the interwebs in general this year. However, while this is significantly more likely than the first theory, the generally accepted explanation seems to be that, quite simply and predictably, Uncyclopedia is the worst.

Check out these pages! Et tu, brute? Define "active" Jokes are serious business From our logs: 03:28, 16 April 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Obama (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Stick to fixing the US's economy--Uncyclopedia editing is not your thing.) 20:34, 14 April 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.164.152.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (blanking spree? go find something more interesting to do, like sticking your head in an anthill) 20:02, 11 April 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 93.131.36.107 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I'm gradually blanking you. Jerk.) 06:25, 10 April 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked SquintyK (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (14 year olds shouldn't be having sex / whatever the hell it is you're doing.) Biopic of the Week Dexter111344 has the distinction of being the most well-known Uncyclopedian with the most numbers in his name (besides 5P4N6). As a newly coronated poopsmith, he helps take out the garbage on a regular basis. This is just one of many thankless tasks he carries out; he also occasionally volunteers as a paperboy and botanist, and is known for keeping douches in their place. If you see something awesome, and are wondering if Dexter did it, the answer is: "probably". And if he didn't...you know who did... Old School Featured Article of the Week Waiting for Godot is a questioning of the fundamental core of our existence, the foundation on which our moral and social codes are built; the uncertainty of Godot's identity, coupled with the stark, unembellished style of the whole play, poses some powerful questions about our own identities. What the hell are you talking about? I dunno, but it sounds intelligent. Cajek-related Question Posed via Ban of the Week 11:15, 23 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a pronounciation ‎ (How *do* you pronounce your username?) And the answer, for those who care. Bad Dog of the Week DogNewspaper, lovable mascot of the UnSignpost, appearing on the right, will not be appearing in this week's issue. This decision was based on various infractions by DogNewspaper, most notably the Easter presents that were left in an editor's shoe. Look for DogNewspaper to return next week with his monthly piece on mailman defense.

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Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:06, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Danke schön!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

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Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Guildensternenstein

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I definitely voted too soon for WoTM, you really deserve it this month! Great work, man. I would change my vote but I don't wanna seem like an ass. On second thought I am quite frequently ass-like, perhaps I'll change it anyway. (Welcome to my internal monologue...) --^Dame 14:21, 20 April 2009 (UTC)