User talk:Mordillo/archive19

Raep

--Mn-z 15:21, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

And? No flowers? No dinner? No drinks? ~ 15:24, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

Nope. Just plain old Chloroform. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 15:32 • Saturday, 13-03-2010

I'm not late am I?! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 17:08, Mar 13 2010

I am sooooooooooo confused why my post got deleted....hahaha this is my attempt to write a message as you requested....soooooooooooooo can I repost my crap?

mightybeans03

YOUR GAYNESS

Mordillo is GAY. he is the worst admin EVER he sux. He huffed my article!!! because i didn't read some gay book. Even though my riting was stil funny. i dot like him and niobody does because he is gay and stupid and ugly and retarted and fat. i wish he will gatsde-opped and permabenned and goes to the moon or a gay retared place. he is GAY GAY GAY GAY!!!!! HE IS THE WORST PERSON EVER. HE IS SO BAD. I HOPE HE GET SOME SICK. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Every new user (talk • contribs)

We aim to please. ~ 12:03, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

That was HELPME, by the way, not me. Although I think much of it applies to you. :) Just restore mah arbicle that j00 huffed. NOW, CUNT. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:24 • Sunday, 14-03-2010

(: Of course I'm not serious, that was actually supposed to be your raep, but I didn't wake up early enough. :(—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 18:21, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

Also, I am very offended that this criticism has not been added to your userpage yet. What, I wasn't good enough for you?! Hmph. —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 18:23, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

I try to keep it authentic. ~ 18:26, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

HowTo:Spot a Terrorist

I was just about to start this up, but I saw that you huffed it in November of last year. Why was it huffed or is it nothing that I need to watch our for when making the page. Rifting Contribs ... dont fall in....Complain - LOB 02:31, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

I created it in your userspace, anyway, bro.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 02:50, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

It was some idiot creating a cyberbullying article under this heading, feel free to create your own article. In general, if an article was huffed in the past, unless you're creating an exact copy of that, you can recreate and create your own version. ~ 11:18, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

RAPE!

Hehehe....wait...dammit! —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 17:57, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Too little too late. ~ 18:04, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

I blame the media. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 18:17, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

I blame the Irish. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 18:22 • Sunday, 14-03-2010

I blame Canada. ~ 18:23, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

The liberal media and Irish and Canucks and Muslims and Jews and...uh....the Pope...yeah... —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 18:31, 14 March 2010 (UTC)

Yeah. ~ 18:33, March 14, 2010 (UTC)

Actual important stuff

Can you semi-protect HowTo:Run away from home? It's been receiving quite a bit of IP vandalism. —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 02:28, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Yep, gave it 3 months. ~ 12:35, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Afghan bombing shocks and confuses millions‎; 12:46 . . (-18) . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) (Removed category "Iraq" (using HotCat)) [rollback]

...you should have pointed out the difference to George Bush jnr. a few years ago, you could have made the world a very different place. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

CONSPIRACY!! I should have known Mordillo would be behind the scenes... somewhere. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 12:53, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Hush. You saw nothing. A Mossad helicopter will be landing on your roof within minutes for a few brief words. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:56, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

You will never find me, I know the truth and I shall tell- who are you people? What's in the bag? Agh No!! Not the face!! nooooooooo....

.... Mordillo is a really great guy actually and I would fully support absolutely anything he suggested, no doubt about it. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 13:01, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

/me checks the time. I think they set a new record today. ~ 13:02, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Apparently, they've decided to always take at least a few minutes so people won't realise every single building in the world has a secret Mossad listening post hidden inside the walls. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:08, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Ha! :D • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 13:58 • Monday, 15-03-2010

^_^

	All Praise and Glory Be Theirs!
	This user has been promoted the the rank of Queen's voter.
	Due to their site-topping talents in voting awards for me, all other chores formerly assigned have been rescinded.
	Unlike other ranks, this one is for life, and they'll do nothing other than HELP ME win awards anytime soon.
	If you were hoping they would reply to a message, sorry to disappoint,
	but such a menial task is outside of their job description.

Get a vote from an admin? I must have been the best noob, ever. In all of eternity.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 18:54, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry about that, Mordillo. He gets excited. Back! Back into your cage! /pokes HELPME with a stick —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 20:57, 15 March 2010 (UTC)

Hey! How did you get away?! I put you in a straitjacket. :O—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 20:58, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

UnNews:Israel embarrassed to announce settlements during Biden visit

This story is yours to write. How hard could it be to put one over on Biden? Tell him they weren't really new settlements, and everyone is happy. Spıke ¬ 23:35 15-Mar-10 We aim to please. Now give me some audio magic. ~ 19:37, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

Have I really not been on this talk page since it was archived?

That is a deplorable state of affairs - your talk page was significantly low on awesomeness (by as much as 47%, I'd say). Fortunately, I have now arrived to rectify matters. How are you doing, old chap? I'm slowly gaining the loyalty of my crack squad, and scanning planets like it's going out of fashion. And still not in love with the combat, but there you go. Story is still a good one, and that's what really matters. Hope they're setting up something awesome for 3... Oh yeah, and how's, you know, real life? --UU - natter 10:48, Mar 16

Sorry! Sorry! I'm having a hellish week at work. So, yes, it has been so long since your presence glorified my page that it's extremely low on awesomeness. Of course, it's high on dicks lol though, as Opty keeps coming even though I got a restraining order. So, doing goodly! Got a new car (which is parked at work till I get my parking permit so I still take the metro which irks me greatly) and all of the baby things are coming in a week. Say, is it me or is this whole baby thingy is expensive even before the little bugger is born?!

With MA2, I'm actually close to finish it for the 2nd time around, with a different character. I love it, and the fighting system doesn't get me too much. Only thing I really can't stand is the star scanning. It's the Mako of the new generation. Also, I've decided that on Saturday I'm going to get Dragon Age and call it the last game of my life. Afterwards it's all pacifiers and diapers. And how have you been? How is Mrs. UU and UUette? ~ 20:26, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

HEY, WAITAMINUTE! I don't see a single mention of my dick on your talkpage anywhere. I demand you apologize for this insult immediately. -DicksLOL23:28, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Having a day off today to spend time with the missus and the offspring. They're great, although Mini UUette is not interested in sleeping this afternoon, even though she's overtired. Trying to type quietly is not that easy! She's so beautiful though - I keep melting every single time she looks right at me. You have a wonderful time ahead of you, trust me. Also, gaming doesn't completely end after fatherhood, don't forget babies sleep up to 17 hours every day - there's plenty of time while they're snoozing and the missus is catching up on sleep... I've played more ME2 since the baby arrive than I did before. It is bloody expensive though, and as far as I can see, that gets no easier! On ME2, have to say I prefer the scanning to the Mako - spending minutes trying to coax the goddamn thing up the last foot of a particularly steep hill was more annoying than scanning half the bloody galaxy! Also: DicksLOL for Sysop! --UU - natter 14:57, Mar 19

I would very much like to support the motion of an increase in mentions of dick(s) on Mordillo's talk page. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 15:25, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Two hours?! Were you serious?

Penis, man. Penis. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 20:11 • Tuesday, 16-03-2010

I unblocked you after 8 minutes. I'm obviously serious. ~ 21:54, March 16, 2010 (UTC)

I don't mean to be a bother

But I can has IRC powerz? We need ops yo. --EMC ^[TALK] 23:53 Mar 16 2010

Sorry, I'll try to login tonight yo ~ 08:07, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

I can has ops too? -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:21, 18 Mar

EMC - came last night, you weren't there. How many ops do we have there anyway? ~ 20:27, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

Usually when I'm on, there's nobody who's actively opped. Though, Olipro has ops doesn't he? Also Charitwo, right? They're usually lurking about. And I was serious about giving me ops dammit. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:33, 18 Mar

Same, but Olipro is rarely available and charitwo sleeps sometimes (so I've heard). Anyways, sorry I didn't make it - I was violently ill, vomiting mostly. I'll keep myself logged on so whenever you come in to do it just ping me. Thanks. --EMC ^[TALK] 23:37 Mar 18 2010

Nameless user

Hi boss, there is a user who shall remain nameless who keeps changing Game:Zork/north to some odd n00b test thing. I've reverted him a few times and asked on his talk poage now that he stops doing this, but I would rather not get into an ongoing revert war with him. Could I get you to keep an eye on this in an official capacity and make sure that the game stays as funny as possible? Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 06:31, Mar 17 2010 UTC

PS. I love the artwork in the top left hand corner of your talk page. It's almost as though you are a user who is underneath the glory that is uncyc. Like a User Under, or something. With a daughter. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 06:33, Mar 17 2010 UTC

Actually, I think you should take a further step, as it appears that Nameless Joe is a sock for N00b eater judging by his activities. You want to look into that? Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 06:44, Mar 17 2010 UTC

Nameless who? ~ 08:07, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

Mar 18th, 2010 • Issue 80 • Hold the line! News isn't always on time!

VFS: it begins By UU As exclusively reported in your super soaraway UnSignpost last week, the voting process for new Uncyclopedia sysops has begun, and so it's time for Signpost mascot and never-popular running joke DogNewspaper to give the traditional unbiased Signpost rundown of the candidates. Leading the popular vote at present is long-serving poopsmith and kvetcher RabbiTechno, gaining a seemingly unassailable lead by being helpful, friendly and competent, and by promising to bake cakes for all who vote for him - a ploy which may well have snared the support of more than just the odd swing voter. In a comfortable position just behind the Rabbi is lengthily-monikered Belgian workhorse Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, the joint Uncyclopedian of the Year for 2009, who seems to be gathering followers by being helpful, competent, friendly, and doing loads and loads of stuff. This cunning stratagem has obviously endeared him to the denizens of this wiki, who seem to be propelling him towards having his own banstick. But hold on, who's this coming up stealthily behind Socky? Why, it's pee review supremo and scourge of vandals everywhere ChiefjusticeDS! The Chief is steadily accumulating backers through the cunning tactic of being competent, helpful and friendly. He also rules PEEING with an iron fist, and spends inordinate amounts of time cleaning and tidying up the place, facts that have led to him coming within striking distance of the leaders in what appears to be a three-horse race. One thing is clear from this - all 3 of the most popular candidates appear to be helpful and friendly, which this newspaper finds unacceptable - where is the next Famine going to come from? where will we find an admin willing to infiban users and delete all their articles just for looking at someone the wrong way, or for being Kip the Dip? Also nominated, and receiving some support are current Writer of the Year and greatest person in the history of all things ever Hyperbole, diplomat by Uncyc appointment to all religions Optimuschris, canine broadcaster and damn fine journalist PuppyOnTheRadio, allcaps-named VFD machine SPIKE, confirmed female on the internets Zana Dark, easy-to-spell feature-machine Guildensternenstein and jaded old-timer Necropaxx. Other people have been nominated without recording a score as yet, but as this article is already long enough to have the editor wondering how many filler boxes he can dream up for the right-side panel this week, they just appear as a brief list: Mnbvcxz, Cajek, Gerrycheevers, Syndrome, The Woodburninator, Why do I need to provide this?, Charitwo and some bloke called Mhaille. Will any of them pick up a sympathy vote before the end of voting round 2? Positions vacant. By PuppyOnTheRadio The Imperial Colonization is a long standing organisation that has for years been at the cutting edge of creativity of articles for one of the world's most respected websites: Uncyclopedia. Due to a period of unprecedented growth during a time of economic downturn, as most of our members are otherwise unemployed, we are looking for a new assistant to the head of IC. This is a fantastic opportunity for you to work from home. Your daily duties will include: Telling writers that they should be working on the latest colonisation Ensuring that changes to current colonisation are consistent with the theme Telling writers to stop wasting time on other projects and get back to the current colonisation Vetting new applicants to IC to ensure they are of the quality needed Telling writers that they should really be working on IC Going insane with power (optional) The relevant applicant will have: Significant experience in editing and writing articles for feature Preferably have worked on IC or in a related field The ability to tell writers that they should really get back to the current project, as it needs to be completed by the 20th of March. A fluffy teddy called Norman (optional, but preferred) This is a rare opportunity. The successful applicant will become next in line to take over the reins of IC when the current head gets sick of it retires. You will be paid in the half feature credit when a colonised article gets featured, as well as being able to call yourself the assistant to the head of Imperial Colonisation. To apply, contact Why do I need to provide this? here.

Check out these pages! UnNews is revolting! Shit happens Bandwagons also happen, inevitably Oh noes, Aussie lawyers - could we be DOOMED? Opinions required From our logs: 08:26, 17 March 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 96.28.232.175 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Vandal: Oh my, you are just so fucking witty. With wits like that, who needs enemas?) 18:53, 16 March 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Hyperactive-Sausage (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (enjoy your complimantary penis) 00:21, 16 March 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 99.251.242.153 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (I THINK 99.251.242.153 SHOULD BURN OR HAVE TO PAY FOR OXYGEN, fuckin fuirt, KILL 99.251.242.153) 12:30, 12 March 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.219.247.129 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Cyberbullying: and generally being a retard. Let's get this right... You call your friend Gay, but you like editing the Powerpuff Girls page? Think about that...) Biopic of the Week We at the UnSignpost pride ourselves on profiling only the finest Uncyclopedians. So how in the hell has it taken us 80 issues to get around to profiling Zana Dark? A self-confessed female and all-round smartass, Zana has been on this wiki for years, bringing her uniquely feminine touch to the Uncyclopedia Legal Department and a whole bunch of impressive rewrites. She's also been WotM for writing funny articles about flashing beaver, tits, and butter, proving conclusively that she knows exactly how to appeal to the sensibilities of the largely male Uncyc userbase. Old-School Featured Article of the Week Illegal Aliens from Outer Space! (1959) was a fact-based horror film that played in drive-in movie theaters across America. It is widely lauded for opening the eyes of an entire generation of movie patrons to the blood-curdling terror of a heterogeneous nation. Filmed in Super Black 'n' White-O-Vision, with monophonic sound recorded in Mono-O-Phon-O-Sound, Illegal Aliens from Outer Space! proved to be a blockbuster that far exceeded the director's humble expectations. The movie's potent real-life lessons held patrons enrapt, while its documentary film-style distracted horny teens, protecting them from the joys of second base for the duration of the action-packed second and third acts of the film. Reason to leave Uncyc #341 Modusoperandi won't quit hoggin' the shower. Obligatory Filler Box of the Week When you absolutely positively gotta have an extra line or so to balance out the UnSignpost - accept no substitute! Horoscope of the Week Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 19) - This week, you will say words that are complete nonsense to you because you think they identify a particular culture that you otherwise completely ignore, but that no one of that culture actually ever says. B'gosh and begorrah. For the rest of this week's 'scopes, see here.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  11:48, Mar 18

Excuse me Mr Dillo

It appears a couple pages got missed when this got deleted. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:28, 18 Mar

All water under the bridge now. ~ 15:36, March 18, 2010 (UTC)

That's why I love you. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:40, 18 Mar

You >:o

Meanypants! —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 21:43, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

That's Mister Meanypants ~ 21:44, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

I suppose we should stop vandalizing each other's userpages then? —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 21:46, 19 March 2010 (UTC)

NOOOOOOO (Seriously though, double redirects=bad, which is probably the real reason he told you off)—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 22:16, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Never mind...Can you restore my regular userpage at least?:(—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 22:18, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

MORDILLO CREATED A DOUBLE REDIRECT LOLZ HE SHUD B B& B& B&! (The arrow means redirect)User:Pelargonium ---> Fail ---> Failure—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:34, March 19, 2010 (UTC)

Zim is in IRC

Uh, what the title says. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:43, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, I'm on irc again. Chers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:25, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Double questions

Question the first: In the UnLikely chance that inagaddadavida gets featured, is it possible to give half credits to three people. PF4Eva initiated the page and laid down the skeleton, I provided the toke, and Funnybony gave some good ending edits and ideas. Are there 1/3 credits?

Question the deuce: There is a discussion about the amount of categories on "Poop throwing monkeys". I've asked Mn-z if an exception can be made to the limit rule for this one page. Rather than explain here, at length, please see his talk page. I'll ask MrN too, as he was an arch-enemy of the monkeys and so is bonded to them as arch-enemies are forever bonded to their prey. Thanks again, enjoy all stuff and everything in between. Aleister in Chains 20:08 20 3 MMX

No problem with regards tp inagadwhatchamacallit. With regards to the categories - there is no rule forbidding it (nor am I aware of any "community consensus"). However, I do think that 30 categories would be more than enough for a single article as they do exist, by the end of the day, to help find articles. ~ 20:25, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, so half credit to three is alright. Spread the wealth. Categories, Mn-z may have been mistaken there, about consensus. On this one page there are 84 or a few less with direct application and relevance to the page, which is interesting in itself and fun as well. If I may add those back and a few others in as they are found, without adding in any of the all-joke (USA's next target, etc.) category's which are just for funny, then the categories would serve the purpose of listing relevant pages and, in doing so, also create the page effect I was going for. Monkeys on parade. Al en'chain 20:40 20 3 mmx

I'm trying to figure out if there's a question there or is it just a declarative statement :) ~ 20:42, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Still on both questions. I'll add in here the extra: ??? .I'm still unclear if categories that fit a page shouldn't be used if the number gets too high, or if it's alright to use them if they fit well. If I must pare down, can I have 40, or 50, to play with? Thanks, Al de'chain 20:53 20 3 mmx

I don't have any specific objections, I just wonder why do you think it adds to the article to have so many categories on it. ~ 20:57, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Just for the look and fun of it. The topic is so base (at least on first appearance) yet so full at the same time (an antropology professor is brought from a human social-personality state to his most primeval self--pooping in his own hand and throwing it at a group of other primates--within literally about 15 seconds) that back when it was fun-nommed for VFH by Roman I was at first, "ahh what did he do that for", to, when it made me realize the range of the topic summarized on what is actually a simple page, I actually would have voted for it for VFH without reservation. That was, of course, after one of the voters said it wasn't antropology, so I made the guy an antropology prof! Then when I realized how many actual categories it covered that became interesting, to find all the applicable ones (and then HappyTimes found more). As a side benefit, it made me much more familiar with available categories. Thanks again, Al 21:10 20 3 mmx

NP. ~ 21:13, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Side note: I thought it would be funny to have the list of applicable categories be longer than the actual article. Just my twisted sense of humor I suppose.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  22 Mar 2010 ~ 04:15 (UTC)

oops

Sorry, i made a failure article. I made a chronic mistake with tags. Won't do again. Ynis 14:48, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

No problem. I though it was just genetic babble. I can restore it for you but I would advise to put it under a different name, as 1337 names aren't accepted very well. ~ 14:56, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

restored under a new name. You do need to put some work in it, it seems a bit random (and very short) at the moment. ~ 15:02, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, very funny

Now can I have my userpage back please? You said you'd protect it for one day, and it's been like three. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 23:26, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

I was going to ask Mordillo about this myself, but I wanted to see how long it would take you to ask.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:46, March 21, 2010 (UTC)

IM FUCKING SHY YOU BITCHFAG —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 23:48, 21 March 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, that one day was supposed to be the automatic expiry, I just managed to put it in the wrong field O_O --~ 00:03, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I was wondering about the "indefinite" part. :) Anyway, thanks and stuff. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 00:37, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

In a what now?

Thank you for popping the page onto features. Appreciated. I'm happier for the other guys on this one. Thanks. Aleister in Chains 20:45 22 3 MMX

That'll be 2.34 USD andathankyouverymuch ~ 20:47, March 22, 2010 (UTC)

Dere More Dilo

More Dillo, you is a dum fuker. I haet yu. You be gay, AND fagolishious. Dond be gay you gay. I luv you thow man. Hugs and kissis. Teh Wodbruninbator 00:55, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

I believe that dere is spelled dir. ~ 05:24, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

I beeleve you are spelled G-A-Y. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 14:39, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

Boobies? ~ 21:36, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

Am I too late to get in on calling Mordillo gay? It's one of my favorite hobbies you know. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:38, 23 Mar

And they say my spelling is bad. It's obviously G-E-I-E. ~ 21:50, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

As long as you still kiss me after sex, I don't care how you spell it. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:52, 23 Mar

Good try Opty, but I believe we were talking about how gay Mordillo is. He's so gay, he likes to do gay things with other people, sometimes even men. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 00:39, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Wondering...

If a person who isn't here and hasn't been here for a while has an article I wanted to write in their userspace that they were working on, is there any way to start it without huffing theirs? More specifically, this.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 21:34, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

I don't see a problem with that. It's a paragraph in a user space, not really a full blown article. ~ 21:36, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

/me shuffles my feet Well, that's great, except I don't know how to start an article without searching it and it saying "This page doesn't exist, so create it, noob!"—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 21:40, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe you could search for your subpage then? -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:44, 23 Mar

You can edit it now. The problem you had (which I didn't notice) was that he created a redirect page to his user space (which is a no no). You just need to go back to the redirect page and edit it normally. ~ 21:49, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

I was planning to move it to my userspace using "redirect supressed" but that's an admin power only, I'm guessing. Oh well, Construction can work.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 21:53, March 23, 2010 (UTC)

Bots and rollbacks also have the power to suppress redirects, although rollbacks have the normal pagemove limit. --Mn-z 00:53, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Quasi Features

So exactly what determines if something is a quasi-feature or not? number of for votes? vote difference? I'm honestly curious cause I don't know. I feel as though The Camera Obscura Collection of Hans Helmuth Saltzman (1602-1668) should have gotten a quasi with +6.5 and 13 for votes, but then again, just my opinion... --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 18:40 EST 23 Mar, 2010

Yep sorry, I miscalculated. All sorted now. ~ 07:19, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

I know your busy, but......

RAPE! VIOLENT RAPE! UBER VIOLENT RAPE!--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 00:43, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

You're really late.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 00:54, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Who gives a rats ass!?!? I can rape wherever I want, whenever I want, Whoever I want! Its a free country, dammit!--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 01:18, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

You need to get laid. Urgently. ~ 07:29, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Fairly major outbreak of cyberbullying

See this and and this. The character Fizz Brown is actually played by someone called Jennie McAlpine and not by Nicola Hanley who, as far as I can see, is a private individual and the victim of cyberbullying. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:00, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Image:Fizz.jpg and File:Nic2.jpg are also the pictures which need to be deleted. I could use that picture of Les Battersby though, so don't delete it. --EMC ^[TALK] 11:07 Mar 24 2010

Nevermind now Mordillo. UU already jumped all over it. --EMC ^[TALK] 11:21 Mar 24 2010

Yeah, I got this. --UU - natter 11:22, Mar 24

HE GOT DIS. YA HEARD? --EMC ^[TALK] 11:23 Mar 24 2010

Dat beeyatch UU sho' got back, too. Shake dat booty, UU! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:26, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

YA HEARD? Sorry, it's the only Ebonics I know. --EMC ^[TALK] 11:27 Mar 24 2010

It's more than I know - but then, being a white middle-class British Jew, the idea of me speaking Ebonics is so utterly ridiculous I wouldn't even try. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:36, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

I believe Herr UU took care of everything? Let me know if the bugger missed anything. ~ 12:07, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

I told you: I got it. --UU - natter 12:11, Mar 24

When he says it, he means venereal disease. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:27, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

No, he means THE POWAH! ~ 12:29, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

That too, no doubt. But after what happened last night, I can confirm he also has venereal disease. Sorry to break it to you like this, UU, but my results came back positive this morning. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:32, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

I keep telling you: you're confusing me with Orian. Just because he spends too much time altogether on my talk page, you have to learn the difference. --UU - natter 12:38, Mar 24

I'll take your word for it. After all, it's tricky to tell who someone is when they're wearing a gimp mask. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:41, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

I believe Orian is the one with the pear shaped ass. ~ 12:59, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

And this tattoo on the left buttock? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:01, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

You, sir, are hilarious

I love the Happy Sasquatch Day logo! Thanks for adding the flashing to the lettering. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:13, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Cheers! Rev. zim_ulator is amused! You have succeeded in both a- and b-musing zim, and are therefore worthy of three bottles of cheap absinthe. Do not drink them too quickly, lest your mind become like unto that of zimz.

Just added the blink template, not even sure what this is about :) ~ 14:38, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Two sasquatch related news articles on the main page with the same pic, plus today's UnFunny is about sasquatches. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 15:01, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

	Happy Sasquatch Appreciation Day! A traditional Sasquatch blessing
	March 24 is Sasquatch Appreciation Day, as decreed by Reverend zim_ulator. Please join me in celebration of the noble Sasquatch and his innumerable contributions to Uncyclopedia.

You, sir, are lolarious

I'm bored. Amuse me. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 15:24 • Wednesday,

Did you hear the one about the Frenchmen, the Englishmen and the Israeli? ~ 17:59, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

No. Do tell. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 18:07 • Wednesday, 24-03-2010

DO TELL! • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 17:02 • Thursday, 25-03-2010

Ah! Yes, I know this joke. Well, a Frenchman, an Englishman, and an Israeli walk into a bar...and...eh, I forget the rest of the joke, but your mom is a whore. --EMC ^[TALK] 12:00 Mar 26 2010

An English Christian, a French Algerian Muslim and an Israeli Orthodox Jew walk into a bar. Then they all sat down together and had a discussion on the many benefits of a multicultural society. (Told to me by a British Communist Party member - the extreme left don't tell the best jokes...) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:08, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Israeli have a dinner engagement with their wives. The English gentlemen turns to his wife and says - pass we the sugar, my sweet. The Romantic Frenchman turns to his wife and says -pass me the honey, honey. And the Israeli who does not want to be left behind, turns to his wife and shouts at her - PASS ME THE STEAK, YOU COW. ~ 12:35, March 26, 2010 (UTC)

An American, an Israeli, and an Egyptian are touring the world in a opaque-widnowed bus. They were not being informed which cities they're in - the American held his hand out of the window, it got shot, so he said "I think we might be in LA" - A few days later, the Israeli held his hand out of the window, it got hit by a thrown rock, so he said "I guess this is Jerusalem" - the Egyptian held his hand out of the window, his wrist watch got picked, so he said "this is Egypt". • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:56 • Friday, 26-03-2010

People Who Like to F$%! Naked

Just curious: did this qualify as quasi-featured? Thanks for your help. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:43, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

My math was off, as always. Fixed now, thanks for the heads up. ~ 21:44, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Y$%! M$%!illo, l*%#n m-%$!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 22:45, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the fix! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:42, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

All the things

Thanks for the quasi nom above. That was unexpected. I like how Why wouldn't spell fuck on your page, had to go with F$%! (how he chose those evil symbols is beyond me).

Thanks too for the Garage sale feature, and esp. for your vote, appreciated. Your vote more than the feature.

As for the formatting, on my laptop when it is collapsed like that it doesn't look good, the format, and runs all over itself. This is a page where different screens matter apparantly, as you like it squinced, as did Romartus, and on other screens it will look fine the other way and out of format this way. Mysteries. I wanted to separate the "Later" section to show the passage of time (22 years or so), and when the spaces are removed what happens on my screen it runs right up alongside of the constitution one space after Gramps' last breakdown-rant. How does it look on yours? I'm not computer savvy enough to know why different screens format things so differently. Thanks again, for all of these things (but, of course, esp. for poop throwing monkeys!) Al in Chains 19:14 25 3 mmx

No problem for all of the above. With regards to the Garage Sale formatting, it looks fine on my display. I changed the Later heading to a level one headline to make the separation more distinct. If this still doesn't look good, can you upload a screen shot? ~ 19:41, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

A bit better. Some of the format is still off, but it's a trade-off when it comes to screen view, and nobody has complained. Saturday is almost here, so that means--garage sales! Al en'chain 12:55 26 3 MMX

UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.

Mar 25th, 2010 • Issue 81 • So full of news, our news-gut hangs over our news-jeans

VFS reaches third and final round, Uncyclopedians bored to tears By UU And so the bloated process that is VFS stumbles drunkenly into its third and final stage. All the chaff - that is, those polling low numbers of votes - has been mercilessly pruned, and the wheat - Chief, Rabbi and Socky - is now being sifted carefully by the admins. And the UnSignpost once more devotes precious space to covering it, even though most Uncyclopedians, with their reduced attention spans, got bored of it weeks ago. Once again, the Rabbi appears to be in pole position, and there are rumours that Mordillo is already preparing him a traditional Jewish banstick, such is his current lead. Meanwhile, Sock and Chief are neck-and-neck for the second slot, polling three votes each currently. When he interviewed himself for this article, lazy journalist UU exclusively told us: "this reflects well on the site - we have three great, very strong candidates, any and all of whom would do a great job if opped. And a number of those who didn't make it to round 3 will probably make a much stronger showing next time. If there is a next time." All that remains now is to see how the final few days affect the vote, and who finally gets the supreme honour of being able to go delete every single page of shitloads of crappy games that have been nommed on VFD, and the like. Joins us next week for the "From Our Logs" new admin special, when we analyse their first bans, and watch as these new admins mercilessly ban the unlucky loser and abuse their new powers flagrantly. Hopefully. Top 5 Of-The-Months Become 90% Cheesier By CheddarBBQ Well known and completely badass user CheddarBBQ, known for his increasing his own self-image, and for being one of the coolest guys ever, has now set a record by being nommed for all four "big" nominations in the same month. Even more impressive, he has been nommed for these four without doing much of anything deserving of awards (besides the aforementioned alleged coolness and/or badassedness). The always tasty Eyetallyan snackfood has been able to hold tightly to last place in each one of these all month. When asked about his newfound record, the great man/food had this to say: "I always knew I was special. The bag of cheese curls that I referred to as "Mommy" for 15 years would tell me so on a regular basis. Also, suck it bitchez." Of course the amazing record-breaker would think well of himself, so we went elsewhere, to question his adopted son, Momo. When asked about the excitement over the record, Momo claimed, "Papa De La Rosa is, like, the greatest dad ever, I used to have so much fun with him when I was little. Ya know, he once left me inside an oven when I was a baby, went for a beer and got me out the following morning. That was fun, I'm tellin' ya. And when I was 4, he left me in an amusement park, went for a beer and came to pick me up a whole week later. I spent that week with that nice guy who kept touching my ass.. Good times.. When I was 7, he took me for a beer. And by the age of 14, we were running our small liquor-smuggling business.. Oh yeah, he's a great guy." Curiously, his comment did not much relate to the matter at hand, yet it was deemed necessary to include it anyway. It appears to be abundantly clear that Cheddar is a marvel of a man whom we can all look up to. In other news, it appears that Don Chedds is about to set another record by being the first Uncyclopedian to drastically lose all five major awards in one month. It appears to be abundantly clear that Cheddar is a marvel of a man whom we can all look up to. Here's to you, CheddarBBQ. Oh yeah, and some other people had something to do with it as well. Note: The writer of this article has decided that a fact check as to whether or not either of these are true records would be unnecessary.

Check out these pages! Screw you, smartasses Something to do with politics, I think We have a history, but is that anything worth celebrating? From our logs: 23:47, 23 March 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked Dakotah0 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Being a Dick: Fucking n00bs, editing the UnNews Main Page.... what do you think this is, rimjob? Wikipedia?) 09:16, 23 March 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.162.71.154 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (stop being so full of fail. seriously, did you have a fail transplant or something? that's a serious fail supply you carry round with you.) 05:14, 22 March 2010 Roman Dog Bird blocked TheUnUncyclopedian with an expiry time of infinite (Have you ever tried to cum in your mouth? I did. I couldn't go through with it though. No way was I going to eat my cum. What the fuck was I thinking? True story.) Biopic of the Week Tell you what, let's do a bio of someone who's won the WotM award this year - how's that sound? Splendid, knew you'd like it. And you'll like the guy we've chosen too: Nameable. How can you not? He's friendly, cuddly (we're told), and capable of writing a funny article about Corn Flakes. That's pretty much as good as it gets, right there. Unless you have some kind of Corn Flake aversion, but then, if you do, you're beyond help. Probably. Day of the Week A glut of Sasquatch-related UnNews stories led the very Reverend Zim to declare March 24th Sasquatch Appreciation Day. He celebrated by spamming a template around a few talk pages. Do those sasquatches appreciators know how to party or what? Old school featured article of the Week Sexual innuendo is a hard topic to stay abreast of. As a humor tool, it stands erect in the English language. While there are no hard and fast rules as to what constitutes sexual innuendo, many people have mass-debated over the topic, and now the general principles at the root of the topic are firm and well-rounded. However, full penetration of the subject requires that the reader take a long, hard look at the target and be a cunning linguist in order to avoid limp phrases and imbibe the phrase with a large handful of meanings. The topic can become hot by attempting to grasp it, and the more one experiments with it, the more interested they become. Also, as the language changes innuendos must change in order to fill the newly created holes and satisfy listeners.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 22:04, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

"ohai, here is another Zionist bringing you blessings from the holyland"

Ha! Shabbat shalom, also. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:36, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Shabat Shalom and nearly happy Passover! Also, Allahu Akbar, but this is besides the point. ~ 16:38, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

On a related note, It appears that I don't have rollback rights. --Mn-z 16:40, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

That is probably because you never asked for rollback rights. You know the drill, in twenty words or less describe how you're going to abuse your rollback rights in the most damaging manner. ~ 16:44, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

You having a seder this year? We have friends coming over, which means that once the afikomen has been eaten - or, in all likelihood, stolen and eaten by the ferrets - it's more likely to be a wine-tasting/piss-up. Not that I'm complaining! Chag Pesach sameach - Passover templates to be added to talkpages tomorrow at some point. Also, FU two edit conflicts in a row. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:46, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Why don't you just block the guy doing all those? ☆The Solar Dragon ^(Talk)☆ 17:01, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Because he is really amusing? Also, you need to fix your sig. ~ 17:02, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

? It works fine for me... ☆The Solar Dragon ^(Talk)☆ 17:02, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

I know it does, but it spills the whole code on the page rather than use a signature template. This page explains how to do it. Let me know if you need help. ~ 17:03, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

subst-something or some code related to it. --nldr 17:04, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Done. ☆The Solar Dragon ^(Talk)☆ 17:07, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Perfect, if only everyone were that efficient :) ~ 17:09, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

I'm used to wiki code. Not that hard to understand really. Being on many wikis help. ☆The Solar Dragon ^(Talk)☆ 17:11, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

I've had bot rights for over a year without abusing them. --Mn-z 18:13, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

Read again what I said - I need twenty words of less of how you will abuse the rollback power. Only morally corrupted users can wield a rollback plunger. ~ 21:13, March 27, 2010 (UTC)

I'll use my bot to spam "Mordillo's a Jewfag" and rollback powers to edit war anyone who reverts it. --Mn-z 00:06, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

You win • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 00:11 • Sunday, 28-03-2010

Indeed you do. Enjoy your new plunger. ~ 20:00, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Oy vey! Is it Passover already? My luakh says it's not until zunfargang Tuesday. Am I shpet? User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7 01:54, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Various from Spike

I appreciate your intervention on Barack Obama. We have been around before with this user (Sections 8 and 11 of the article's talk page) and talking does no good.

Separately, Zim put out a call for opinions in Section 10 of UnNews:Newsroom that has so far been met with silence. It concerns proposed new text for the template that guides a user about to write a new UnNews story. Please weigh in if you have an opinion. Spıke ¬ 23:50 27-Mar-10

The First of the Fourth

I was noticing that 1 April is coming up very soon. I don't know if it's an Uncyclopedia tradition to do anything with it, and if Unc goes by the British tradition of the jokes end at noon or the American that they go on all day. But around these parts we like celebrating April Fool's Day. OK, I do anyway. User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7 04:21, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Look over the main page in the past April firsts. Typically we run it for the whole day. ~ 20:02, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

...or even longer, depending on if an admin can be bothered changing it over at Zulu midnight. And check your e-mail! Puppy Sunday, 21:23, Mar 28 2010 UTC

I will aynkukn zikh it. Dank. User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7 01:59, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Pesach 5770

It's Pass-Nothing time once again!

eight whole days surviving on cardboard and kugel

Christians get chocolate at this time of year, you know.
Amazing who people will accept as moshiach just to get out of eating all that matzah.

Chag Pesach Sameach!
From Rabbi Techno

---

Hag sameach! May your constipation last for forty years to remind you of the poor Israelites! ~ 20:03, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Here is a cat left over from the garage sale. Please give him a good home. Your vote appreciated, thank you. And happy holiday! Al d'chainy 23:56 28 3 mmx

Main Page Unprotection

It appears as though TKF deleted the mainpage and restored it, which strips the protections from a page. It appears he was deleting a game's sub-pages, and accidentally deleted the mainpage in the process. --Mn-z 00:05, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I've realized that later on. ~ 12:34, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

A Goy's Guide to Passover

Just had an idea for an article--a Gentile, probably well-intentioned, gets it all wrong. What think? I know it's rather late for such an idea. (I'm posting this on RabbiTechno's page too). User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7 03:32, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Good idea, can compliment Jewish Holidays. I'll have a chat with the Rabbi. ~ 12:34, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Cool. I'll check out that article. Also here's a stupid riddle I just made up:

Q. What do you call a non-Jewish homosexual man?

A. A goy gay guy.

--User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig7

"Chag Pesach Kasher veSameach!" I think that's Hebrew for "Happy Mazda balls!" King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:50, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

More like, have a nice holiday and enjoy your matzah induced constipation. ~ 07:30, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Ruling request

Passover, isn't that when the Holy Ghost yells BOOOO!! at the eldest son and makes him cry before bedtime? That's what I always thought. --- A request for a ruling please. I'd like to VFH "Sideboob" at some point, but some people moan about NSFW. Two images: the bouncing vid on the page now, and the pic on the article's Talk page. Both are marked NSFW on their files, yet both seem fine. Just breasts in bathing suits, and the bouncy vid has been used on a template stored on talk pages. Can I non-NSFW these, and what about the Sideboob page itself? OK, thanks, and I'll put out the garlic to scare the Holy Ghost away. Aleister in Chains 13:30 29 3 mmx

I see no issue with the article at all. Let the moaners be moaners. ~ 13:37, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks. Another quick question. An "old" user is blanking pages right now, but he/she has a very good page on their user space, "Non-huffable kitten". If the guy gets banned does that page have to die with him? Al, a few minutes later

My mistake, I'm one of those demons of stupidity. He's blanking his own user pages, not mainspace pages. Al en'shame 13:48 29 3 mmx

I may not be around much

We've had a death in the family, so I don't know when I'll be around for the next week, at least. Would you mind checking occasionally UnNews to see if everything's OK? Thanks. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:38, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. Sorry to hear that, Zim. Please convey my condolences. ~ 21:09, March 29, 2010 (UTC)

It can has be sysop tiem nao?

Accordin' to my watch, time's up! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 21:04, Mar 30 2010

Silly Mormons, always so late. Uncyclopedia talk:VFS —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 21:36, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

You hush, Mr. Too many tildes. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 21:34, Mar 30 2010

I blame the cabal.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 21:36, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

There is no cabal. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Tuesday, 21:51, Mar 30 2010

You're only saying that because we're on a cabal member's Mordillo's talk page!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 21:56, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

What have you done for me lately

Mordillo, Zana, the excellent features youse recorded at the start of the month are still listed in the Top 10 Recent Audios (in {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}), for the sake of diversity, even though there are now 20 more recent ones. All by me. But this absolution will end in April and it is time for you to get the microphone back out of the attic. Spıke ¬ 11:56 31-Mar-10

I'll try to get to it during the weekend. With work and trying to put a room for a baby it leaves little time to breath O_O ~ 20:13, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

A question that always plagues me at this time of year

...why don't we eat charoset all year round? It's delicious. That is all. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:28, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

You even use cabal terminology already mister that is all :). And to answer your question, eat charoset all year long, and you will look like the guy from super size me by the end of the year. That stuff is addictive. ~ 20:14, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Cabal? What cabal? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:21, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

This is creepy weird

It's 4 in the afternoon over here. And where you are it's what, 10? Er, good afternoon night! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:05, Mar 31 2010

Try Midnight. ~ 22:07, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Hmm, midnight. That means Amsterdam, Barcelona, Belgrade, Berlin, Brussels, Budapest, Cairo, Capetown, Copenhagen, Frankfurt, Geneva, Harare, Johannesburg, Madrid, Oslo, Paris, Prague, Rome, Stockholm, Vienna, Warsaw, Zagreb, Zürich, or some area near one of those. That really narrows the location down! It's 22:28 here. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:28, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

You was right the first time. Now you know what life is like for Mordillo — full of fast living, dangerous women, and massive banhammers. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:36, Apr 1 2010

I think you mean "fast banhammers", "dangerous living", and "massive women". --EMC ^[TALK] 00:39 Apr 1 2010

And now it is midnight over here. Good morning! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 05:55, Apr 1 2010

I have nothing to add to this conversation except to say that Jews run the Vatican. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:04, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

So what? Donkeys run Egypt. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 11:50 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Are you comparing Jews to donkeys? Also, it seems that Mr. Al Baradai will be running Egypt soon :) ~ 12:06, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Sure, everybody here hopes so. But the man will need to get some bits of the constitution changed first, which won't happen (easily) but heh, he's working on it.. Also, I'm not comparing Jews to donkeys; one of them is far superior to the other. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:20 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Hey, I've just insulted you, why didn't you ban me?! WHYWHYWHY? • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:30 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Idea for April 1st

Great job on the main page template. However, it's missing something. How about one of these pictures with a caption of, "The only prank we pulled was on this guy, who we hit with a pie."? --EMC ^[TALK] 09:19 Apr 1 2010

Maybe have the pictures on both sides of the template? --EMC ^[TALK] 09:20 Apr 1 2010

How about what I just did? ~ 09:26, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

The bunny pancake thing? --EMC ^[TALK] 09:33 Apr 1 2010

Yes. ~ 09:38, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

I give a B-. The South Korean Uncyclopedia's was much better though. --EMC ^[TALK] 10:14 Apr 1 2010

Link? ~ 11:17, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Indeed, great job! I love when Uncyclopedia gives a "screw you" to it's readers. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 09:40, Apr. 1, 2010

I thought we did that on a daily basis? ~ 09:43, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Awards

Hi. You may have missed the tie at NOTM. Two "winners" there, which is always nice. Keeps an extra one in reserve in case one of the new Notm's leaves! Al in Chains 13:11 1 3 mmx

Yep! Thanks very much for noticing, completely missed that due to the colossal mess that was on NOTM. ~ 14:14, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Query

Have you seen "grade point average" on QVFD? No need to click on it as it's just a YouTube rickroll. Thing is, it has some sort of devious stealth link thingy which means it automatically redirects to YT when I click on it, so I can't huff it. How do you do deal with such chicanery? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:08, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

I believe this is Kip's idea of April Fool's joke. It's an external link that is made to look like an internal one. Doesn't exist on the wiki. Go and ban him now :) ~ 14:13, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

OIC - 'tis harmless enough, though. I'll ban him all the same :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:15, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

And thanks for answering my question to Aaron Associates. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:18, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

I find there is rarely a situation to which "ban Kip" is an inappropriate response. --UU - natter 14:25, Apr 1

Query II - Electric Boogaloo

Don't duck the question Mordillo - what dessert would you choose? --UU - natter 14:25, Apr 1

What were the options again? ~ 14:26, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Anything dessert-y. Of a dessert nature. Dessert is the concept I'm trying to get across here. --UU - natter 14:30, Apr 1

I'm blatantly ignoring your superior English here. I'd take either this or that. ~ 14:41, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Will either of those go well with custard? --UU - natter 14:48, Apr 1

Is there anything that doesn't go well with custard? Apart from curry, perhaps. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:49, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Probably humus. ~ 14:58, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

M&M's, too. I tried it with custard once. It tasted like... Semen. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 15:02 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Funny you should mention hummus. Mrs. Rabbi and I often remark on how it goes with anything - we frequently have it with Italian, Chinese, Mexican and Indian food as well as with your usual falafel, salads and so on. We say the same of custard. Strange that they both go with anything except each other. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:04, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

It's matter and anti matter. --~ 15:11, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, I assumed it must be something along those lines. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:15, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Your ancestors were quite lucky

40 years of free desserts? Man, I'd sell my sons-to-be at a slave market for half that! • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 14:28 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Depends on the dessert. 40 years of sago wouldn't be to everyone's taste. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:30, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, you're an admin already and you haven't banned me yet? *sniff* I voted for you! *sniff* • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 14:41 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Hey Moosh, if I haven't known better I'd assume you're aiming for another ban. ~ 14:41, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

You're very smart, I have to admit :) • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 14:43 • Thursday, 1-04-2010

Sir, I believe in plain speaking

I demand that you unblock me at once because reverting some insignificant “poopsmith” is hardly grounds for blocking someone, least of all a man of my limitless genius. In any case, I only reverted the mediocrity in question because of a simple misunderstanding. I thought that he was removing the article in question from VFD in order to save its existence as no consensus had been acquired on the part of the article in question, namely The United Spades of Amerika, the very definition of a bad article on Uncylopedia. Indeed, the article in question was the subject of a lengthy article by an internet critic on Uncyclopedia, entitled “The Internet’s Sphincter.”

I really don’t think I need to say anything else. --User:Ozymandiaz 03:16, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Sir, I think you need to learn when you're in a position to "demand" something and when you're not. Now, is not one of these situations. You reverted an admin on VFD while he was archiving a closed vote. The fact that you never bother to read and understand the rules and you keep bumping into people because your temper, does not exempt you. Even you being a man of limitless genius, which I'm still waiting for you to prove.

So yes, the ban stays. Have you bothered to say "sorry, I made a mistake" it would have been removed. But I get a rash when someone "demands" things.

I would also recommend you to stop ban evading, otherwise the original ban will grow significantly longer (alongside any other IPs you'll be using).~ 09:27, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, I'm sorry. I was a bit drunk when I posted that last comment. --Ozymandiaz

Ban removed, be more careful in the future. ~ 14:05, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

That's quite obvious, actually. I guess you were also drunk the last three times you started troubles. You seriously need to lay off the booze, man. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 14:56 • Friday, 2-04-2010

Thanks very much Mordillo. Actually Fredd, I was sober the last three times I "caused trouble". ;) --Ozymandiaz 15:15, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

May contain traces of humor!

Apr 1st, 2010 • Issue 82 • You'd better watch out, you'd better beware: if any news happens, the Signpost will be there

Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 04:44, Apr 2 2010 UTC

Hello Grandad

I've been missing the Uncyc action and half decided to come back - despite appearing an unwieldy character lately. I brought this idea up again, since it is by far my best one. I'm guessing you don't have the time to participate but in case you do, you're welcome. -- Style  Guide 06:24, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

VFS

For your vote in VFS and as promised last time You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination. Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice. Rabbi Techno

I know you walk Uncyclopedia with impunity, but the free bagel has got to be worth it. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:02, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

FREE BAGELS! ~ 10:10, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Incidentally, what happens re. poopsmiths now? I can't quite remember how I was beaten senseless and forced to do it appointed to the position. I was fairly certain Chief would be next in line, but I wonder if Socky wants to do it? I believe Dexter's choice is Spike, who would undoubtedly be an excellent candidate provided he's around the place enough. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:35, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

How many do you think we need? One? Two? --~ 13:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Good point, with Dexter being away so often maybe two new ones might be a good idea. What do you think? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:32, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I think two would be good. ~ 14:06, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I agree. I was surprised by how little it actually entailed, but best to have an extra two to provide cover in case of absence, I suppose (though I can't see any reason why I wouldn't archive stuff from time to time if necessary). Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:09, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

That's because you're the better man. I personally hate archiving. ~ 14:10, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I actually quite enjoy that sort of thing - laborious, repetitive tasks. I suppose it means I'm a boring bastard. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:14, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Up to the point when you're eating Cholent and then you're all like WOOOOO!!!! ~ 14:29, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Cholent is the source of much excitement and merriment when you have a sense of humour as immature and puerile as mine! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:31, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Redundant

I found a way to make Redundant transclude the content of Redundancy since it's more, you know, redundant. However, I would suggest protecting Redundant so that someone doesn't accidentally nuke the transclusion. If they make a change to Redundancy, the transclusion will make it show up on Redundant too. Wild at Heart, he who cleans up (Yell at me) 15:22, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I took it a step further. What do you think? ~ 16:35, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I was about to say transclusion would be better, since changing Redundancy would also reflect a change to Redundant, but no one's edited Redundancy in forever so I guess it's all right. Wild at Heart, he who cleans up (Yell at me) 00:53, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

I is disappoint son.

This goes for all admins. You totally wasted a prime April Fools joke. I mean c'mon, if you had held the VFS vote, and revealed to DS and RT April 1 that the whole month of voting was for waste and then not give them any powers (and maybe even ban them) it would've been kinda epic. Just thought you should know. Disappoint, son. += 19:39,2April,2010

Well, son, I didn't see any bright ideas coming from your your outstanding intellect. Would such ideas emerge at the right time they would have presided on the front page. ~ 22:27, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I was mad busy son. += 02:06,4April,2010

Happy birthday.

Jew. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 22:35, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much sir. ~ 22:50, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

J3wz c313br4t3 b1rthd4yz?!?! 1 th0ught th3y w3r3 h4tch3d!!!!1111—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:33, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

It's your birthday? Ah, so you can cry if you want to! Congratulaaaaaaaaaaaations and jubilAAAAAAAAAAtions! --Ozymandiaz 23:37, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you all. Now where is my cake and silly hat?! ~ 23:41, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Can't you just go to church for that? I mean, you are Hebrew.:P—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 23:43, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Do you charge for circumcisions? No I only keep the tips. --nldr 23:44, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

I made you a cake. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 00:09, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

Do you realise that, unless you made that cake in strict accordance with the Passover rules, you've just condemned 'Dillo to some really harsh punishment? Or was that intentional? If so, no matter. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:14, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Is your birthday really April 2? I went to a birthday party for a guy on April 2, seriously. Happy just after your birthday, then (of course it's still April 2 somewhere). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:07, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Also if you want a silly hat for your birthday, I really can't think of anything sillier than this....and look; it's a hat and a cake!

King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:12, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Happy birthday Mordillo! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 03:54, Apr 3 2010

Thank you all! Free circumcisions and matzas all around! (and my birthday is on the 3rd not the 2nd). ~ 16:15, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, so that wasn't your birthday party I went to. And I brought a gift too because I thought it was you. I guess I shouldn't have given that girl a banstick. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:57, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Random question

Does what you put on NOTM apply to Rcmurphy votes too? Because I like to vote for a good noob and give some vote for or against Rc.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 00:10, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Let's say it's valid for now, because with what happened in March I couldn't figure out who won and missed Tragicbooty completely. ~ 16:16, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Another voting thing- in my daily maintenance runs, I like to put award templates in the proper places, remove outdated templates, put the people's rankings on Order of Uncyclopedia, etc. Well, I was working on that yesterday, and I saw that the voting for the Emmanuel Goldstein Award of Excellence in the Distribution of Misinformation and the Foolitzer Prize was not archived. Are they stretching into this month, or did everyone just forget? I'm trying to figure out who gets what awards and when.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 20:49, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

I think everyone forgot. Feel free to archive it. I think Spike got it this month didn't he? ~ 21:26, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I started, but Uncyclopedia:Emmanuel_Goldstein_Award_of_Excellence_in_the_Distribution_of_Misinformation/winners and the Foolitzer past winners page are both protected. Oops.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 22:37, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Never noticed that. I've unprotected the Goldestein page. I took care of the FP already. ~ 22:49, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Done, thanks for the assistance, Mr. Sir Dillo. :) —Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 22:53, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

No no, thank you. ~ 22:55, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Happy birthday

I deserve my own header because I'm awesome like that. You're awesome too, but less. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:01 • Saturday, 3-04-2010

Yom Huledet Sameach! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:06, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Koll 'aam wenta bkheir. • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 12:13 • Saturday, 3-04-2010

Toda and shukran! --~ 16:21, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

Your birthday was today? Good, I was not late, then :) • FreddAin't Dedd • • • 16:28 • Saturday, 3-04-2010

Whadaya mean was today? Is today! ~ 16:29, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

It's 6:3smthng at night over here. So it was today. They told us so at school. Lousy lousy teachers..

Apparently it's your birthday. I got you some cake. Then I ate it. I'd feel guilty about that, but I'm too full of cake to care. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:12, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

It's the thought that matters. ~ 17:16, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

It better be. Otherwise you'd be horribly disappointed. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:35, April 3, 2010 (UTC)

What do you think of this?

THE, Hindleyite and the great Chronarion Himself have seen it in the past and don't seem phased, but it looks like cyberbullying to me - several of the names entered into Google return FaceBook pages. I'm inclined to just delete it, but due to those users having no problem wonder if that'd be the right thing to do. Or should I add it to VFD and let the proles decide? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:02, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

I think you can skip the VFD and remove it for being Cyberbullying. I don't think we'll suffer immensely due to "anal bleeding" being removed O_O ~ 13:05, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

'Tis done - I also thought it delete-worthy due to being unfunny crap. So, hungover at all this afternoon? :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:09, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Not much, more like food-over :). Went to a French restaurant last night and had a 3 hour long dinner ~ 13:11, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Too much food instead of too much alcohol? Sure sign that you've had too many birthdays. I know that feeling. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:16, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Agh, Mordillo, what did you DO?!?!!? That article was the only thing keeping us from utter implosion! You've doomed us all, Mordillo! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 02:36, Apr 5 2010

By seen it, do you mean edited it? Perhaps they weren't paying close attention when they edited it, I half-blindly edit pages all the time. How do you think I have a high edit count? Buy on a serious note, many mind-numbingly awful articles have minor/formatting edits by admins and experienced users. Editing by an admin should not be taken to mean that said admin necessarily "approves" of an article --Mn-z 02:49, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

In this case, you'd have a job to not get the gist of the article even if you made a very minor edit - it was short and to the point. Also, having only been an admin for a few days, I preferred to get a second opinion. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:58, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

You underestimate the ability of some people, like myself, to be totally oblivious to the articles they are editing. --Mn-z 04:51, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

What do you think of this?

Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 02:44, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

That depends on your opinion on this. ~ 17:01, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

So "meh" then? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:11, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Meh it is. ~ 17:19, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Well, that's the last time I answer the door. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 17:47, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Even if it's free pizza? ~ 20:05, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

I thought it was the flash that made it free? That's how I get my Girl Scout cookies and bags of Jehovah's Witness literature for free (including the bags). Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:01, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

I understand the Girl Scout cookies, but... JW literature? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 22:37, Apr 5 2010

I don't want them. They inevitably drop the bags in their haste to get away. You think they'd clue in at the start, when I say "'Watchtower'? I've got a watchtower for you..." Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:16, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

You want to be careful with that - I still have the scars from the last exorcism. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 00:00, Apr 6 2010 UTC

So here, then

This should be useful to a newbie looking for stuff to write about. -- Style  Guide 08:40, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Multi. I'm still not sure how this is different from UN:REQ? ~ 08:59, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

My idea gives tools for constructing the (serials of) articles rather than just saying: "this thingy has not been parodied on Uncyc". A pretty big difference. What else... hm. Maybe the fact there is now a way for writers to co-operate without collaborating on a single article. You might, for instance, want to write in a completely different tone than someone else (while the issue is such that you might be interested), and yet you could easily participate. Just write a counterspin article in any series, or write some "evidential" article you then cleverly link to one of the UnNewses dealing with the issue. It is way more likely your article will be widely read if it is a logical part of a series, rather than some random article. Also, writing with a specific goal in mind (the issue your "client" wants you to write about) often improves the article. For starters, look what I did with Fluffy Bunnies. I wouldn't have imagined writing about bunnies, but when I had the goal that I needed to make them look good for the sake of the series, I came up with all kinds of stuff. -- Style  Guide 09:10, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

The table in the article had an error (Australia, 1859-2009 was the intention for the latter). Corrected now. -- Style  Guide 09:32, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

I can see the difference, but it concerns me whether there is or not a quickfire explanation offered? --nldr 10:42, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

By "quickfire explanation" you mean something shorter? -- Style  Guide 10:48, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, so: Pees review articles, IC does rewrite collabs, AAN attempts to link new users with old, etc. Ways to get the message across easierlyier. --nldr 10:51, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Try something like this: Summit of Spin is a parody of a real-world media office. Its purpose is to satirize real-world fact-spinning practices, meanwhile giving writers practical ideas for articles and construction of articles. The aim is to create serials of logically connected articles. -- Style  Guide 10:54, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

If you want something real short: SoS collaborates on article serials. -- Style  Guide 10:57, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

That satisfies me greatly, I had been more or less lost in the planning stage of your project, you see. :) Does it have a link on UnNews? --nldr 11:02, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Nnno... my idea has, so far, been that it would be more or less a "covert" organisation like those media offices often are. Makes it more sexy as well. -- Style  Guide 11:21, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

I'd have thought a portal on the UnNews page, impersonating IC's "Current colonisation: whateveritiswe'redoingatm" would speed up attention; something along the lines of "Current Spin story: Da Vinci intelligence controversy. Milk the story like you work for Fox now!" or some such. I suppose the project itself would have to show what it's capable of first though. --nldr 11:33, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

OK. I have a few people hooked, let's see if anything happens. Note, though, that you wouldn't work for Fox or some such, but rather for the media offices behind the scenes, the ones that spin things for big money. Example: the film Thank you for smoking. But OK, your shortcut "Fox" can do since it's more familiar to people. Hard to come up with anything closer to truth that would sound snappy. The explanation is on the project page anyway. -- Style  Guide 11:38, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Do as I say, not as I do rings horrifically in my ears... I'll promise to check out the project too. --nldr 11:49, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

Well - if you work for a newscaster or such, you will have to report what you get, right? The SoS spins what the newscasters get. If that was what you meant...? -- Style  Guide 12:06, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

No I meant I felt that all I was doing was saying this and that without contributing directly to the project; I left a comment re: Da Vinci subject on the respective talk page. --nldr 12:13, April 6, 2010 (UTC)

On the remotest off-chance that you care

I prepared to block an IP, I came up with a good block reason, then I hit the button - ban conflict! You got there first. But I wasn't about to waste my block reason, so I went ahead and used it. So there. Also: afternoon Mordillo! --UU - natter 14:29, Apr 6

Nominated for the Foolitzer Prize

One fine day ...

--Funnybony    05:35, Apr 7

My pleasure FB! ~ 10:27, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Question

That famous last words section was funny and it wasn't copying off anyone and it wasn't just stupid, how come you removed it? This is a genuine question not just a rhetorical one aimed to insult? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Avinalaugh (talk • contribs)

Primarily because it was a short list that didn't have a lot of content or effort put into it. We're trying to get articles that just lists. Also, we already have one. Did you read the links left for you as part of your welcome message? ~ 10:26, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

A certain eager news boy

Hey dude, I'm back, sort of, in a way. Thanks for weighing in on UnNews talk:Style. I did mention to SPIKE that being perceived as "chesty" around here does not go over well, and that maybe you saw his manner as pushy. I'm sure he's not deliberately being like this; I like his way because he challenges me to rethink and reevaluate. Besides, he thinks I've got magic powers, and he's afraid of me. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:08, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Whatdayamean he thinks you've got magic?! You are the dirt under our rollers! (one of these days I'll have to understand what does it actually mean!). Anyway, first thing first - how are you doing? How is the missus doing? I hope you both are doing better?

With regards to the UnNews style, I don't have anything against Spike or the work that he does, I think the absolute majority is great. I do, however, don't like the approach to put everything under a strict rules and guidelines template and claim it is the absolute truth. We are not facts oriented wiki, we an artistic wiki, for the better and for the worst. And if an article does not fit within the rules and guidelines but still makes you laugh or force you to digest it for a few minutes to get the punch line - than this is what we need, job done - even if it's not properly quoted and intended and the sources don't point to the right place - non of these are essential. So the change I made, based on EMC's and KIP's remarks, both veteran UnNews writers - are to move the rules from absolute to recommendations. To be honest, I think exactly like them. Also, this goes along with the spirit of HTBFANJS - to suggest, not to enforce.

I hope that you didn't think I "pulled rank" or anything as silly as that, but the whole "wait for the chief" remark irked me quite a bit. ~ 17:40, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

First off, Zim is a wizard. Secondly, I agree that there should be no particular way an UnNews must be written except for funny. Thirdly, I intruded on this little tit-for-tat just to make it seem like people want my opinion. Fourthly, if you guys haven't seen The Room, I highly suggest to watch it. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:52, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Who are you again? --~ 18:21, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

I'm Tim. Remember last week when me and your brother double-teamed your wife while you were watching? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:32, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the welcome back, my friend. We are OK, all things considered. As for the awesome spike, my main interest was in keeping things friendly. I didn't think you were pulling rank, and I understand why you were irked. IMHO, everything is groovy and mellow.

I agree with you about guidelines; I think our style guide is awesome, and I think we all agree that it is a guide, not a rule book.

As for "the dirt under your rollers", it comes from a Frank Zappa song called Sofa on the One Size Fits All album. It's a reference to the creation myth, which as a Hebrew scholar, you should be familiar with. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:13, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Mordillo, you are a Jew-infested piece of dog crap.

I'm just agreeing with the one idiot. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:52, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Wasn't that a dog crap infested piece of Jew? It's all so confusing. ~ 21:55, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

Well, at least you can perform autofellatio. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:56, April 7, 2010 (UTC)

My favourite idea in this vein is, hands down: "I HOPE SOMEONE FINDS HIS ADDRESS AND COMES TO KILL YOU." This baffles me. Has this "somebody" forgotten and lost his own address? It seems that he will have to find the address to get a weapon he keeps at home, in order to kill you. Looks like an insurmountable problem to me. If "somebody" doesn't even know his own address right now - and if it must be "hoped" that he finds it - what is needed for him to find you anywhere in the world? A new set upstairs, perhaps. This "someone" must be similar to that zombie in the old Donald Duck comic. Been looking for his prey for over fifty years, if I'm not mistaken. As to the rest of that quote: we will all die at one time or another. No need to use up hope on that. Oh, and happy birthday, I noticed it was a few days ago. -- Style  Guide 06:15, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

And what do you want? You think that because you voted for Why?:Do I need to provide this? you'll get some kind of thank you from Necropaxx? Ha!

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:39, Apr 7 2010

And thanks for protecting me. --User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig1 04:22, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Reaction from Prehistory96 to Mordillo/archive19

You huffed my page, User:Prehistory96/line. Revenge will take place. Unless you give your reasons for huffing the page I made, I will huff your pages. Beside the page was in MY NAME.

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

Apr 8th, 2010 • Issue 83 • News even an Uncyclopedian can understand!

We deliver on our promises By PuppyOnTheRadio As stated in last weeks edition of the USP, VFS is over, and we've run out of material to be able to fill this particular edition. Discussion about what to include in here has been vast and varied. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user suggested we write an article about how it's his birthday today, but how are we going to be able to write an entire article about his birthday? Especially when the bastard hasn't invited us to his party or shared any of his cake with us. Other suggestions included writing the value of π to the first 1,000 digits, or planting drugs on an admin. As none of the regular writers are able to do anything mathematical, and we attempted to plant drugs on an admin, but they mysteriously disappeared before we could discover them, those options were excluded. So instead we have gone back to suggestions for what we were going to do for the April Fool's day issue, where EMC suggested we have an article which simply showed someone being hit in the face with a pie. Working on the assumption that a picture is worth one thousand words, this seems to incorporate elements from most of the ideas we have had so far. If you are interested in helping to pad out contribute fine quality writing to the UnSignpost, or just wanting to bring up items of interest for our intrepid team of editors to report on, drop us a line at the press room and we promise we'll be polite when we ignore it. Spinning some new yarns By UU Another week, another new Uncyclopedia project, it seems. The latest to be launched is the Summit of Spin, which purports to be "an "office" that makes it easier and more organized to collaborate on article serials". It seemingly has no rules, but claims to provide "a series of tools to facilitate writing", which sounds dangerously close to helpful, if you ask us. Intrigued, your ever-alert UnSignpost asked the project's founder, Multiliteralist, for some quotes, preferably lengthy ones for the sake of padding. He responded: "You like the truth, don't you? But you don't like it the way it is now? Join us." Which is all well and good, but doesn't exactly fill this article out anything like enough. Fortunately, he added: "Our door is open for anyone with - in the words of Sir Humphrey Appleby - some moral flexibility." That was slightly more helpful for our purposes. Fortunately, however, he followed that up with: "Early this year, I felt something was missing in the world. That something was money truth - and it was specifically missing in my pockets the world of organised news reporting. Whatever is true in the world - like how wooden wheels are far better than tyres made of rubber and wheels made of metal alloys, or how fluffy bunnies are infinitely useful for all kinds of things - I felt I had to bring these things out for people to see. And you, if you are as greedy as I am love truth as much I do, can join forces with me by working for Summit of Spin for a ridiculously low salary, considering how much you have to lie love of truth! I cannot promise you anything else but prolonged court battles blood, sweat and tears in our constant fight for better-paying clients a more honest world!" And we think that just about sums it up without us having to do too much actual reporting, so we'll leave it here. Why not have a look at the Summit of Spin and get involved?

Check out these pages! Someone wants to be banned Oh dear God, is it still going? World Cup fever starts here From our logs: 14:26, 6 April 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 167.206.233.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (ooh, is this a game of "state the bleedin' obvious"? OK: you're a twat. I win!) 15:53, 4 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Starsky133 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 seconds ‎ (I have no life and nothing bothers me more than people who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." :-)) 01:22, 3 April 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 123.243.77.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Because I said so: Random insertion of the phrase "Monstrous testicles" into an UnNews article is not funny unless you're extrodinarily lucky, and you, my fine douche bag of a fellow human, are not lucky.) Biopic of the Week You'd think that, him having been on the wiki for over 4 years, having written a bunch of featured articles, and recently become an admin, we'd have done a bio on RabbiTechno by now, wouldn't you? Arguably Uncyc's second most notorious Jew (because no-one ever remembers TKF is Jewish), and UotM wayyy back in January '08, the good Rabbi now polices the wiki with his kosher banstick as part of the increasingly Semitic but non-existent Cabal. Old-School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. It was a stormy and dark night. Not a dark and stormy night. That's an unrelated story, one that’s got little to do with this narrative. That somber tale has got something to do with Paul Clifford and I'd tell you about it, but the library revoked my card. Something about expositioning too loud last time I was there. Sorta-Comeback of the Week A wild Gerrycheevers appeared! Gerry used April Fool - it's pretty effective! Necropaxx, RabbiTechno, Mordillo and UU used gullibility - it's not very effective! Gerry wins!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:51, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

When I read about Socky's birthday, I was going to put that cool rabbit-with-a-pancake-on-its-head image on his page with a birthday note. But when looking for it, I found File:Pancakerabbit.jpg and File:Pancake3.jpg and File:Bunny pancake.jpg, all the same pic but in different resolutions. Would it be a problem if I checked pages that link to these various images and had them link to one, and then had an admin huff the rest? And if so, which one do you think should be kept? I'd go with the bigger one, but maybe doing the deleting and huffing and relinking is a waste of time. What think? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:42, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Just goes to show how popular bunnies with pancakes on their heads are. By all means, go ahead to remove the redundant ones. Let me know when you're finished and I'll remove the files. ~ 22:30, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Will let you know. Thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  22:51, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

I still plan to do this, but it's going to take more work than I thought. Several versions of it are shown at different sizes in different places, so I want to make sure the substituted version works everywhere it's used before I change it. It make take me a while to do it, but I don't suppose there's any hurry about it anyway. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:45, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Kill the rabbit

All right, I did it. As Pancakerabbit.jpg had the most links and as the version you uploaded had the highest resolution, I uploaded your version to replace Pancakerabbit.jpg and put a note in my upload about the various versions, who uploaded them and when. (Yes, I know probably nobody but me will care about that part, but I'm anally-retentive so I included it.) I also checked to make sure that the image appeared on all pages as it had before. So as of right now Bunny pancake.jpg and Pancake3.jpg are not linked to anywhere, and can be huffed. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  02:52, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Sideboob

You huffed my page Sideboob. Unless you unhuff it revenge will take place. I will huff all of your pages, no, I will huff all of Uncyclopedia. Hold on, there it is, over at features. Ah, never mind. Thanks for featuring it, and thanks for OK'ing the bouncing boob gif. Safe for work and kiddy school alike! Al des chains 23:06 8 4 mmx

BOOBIES ON FRONT PAGE! ~ 23:10, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

And now an erect penis on the front page! The world is upside down! And this is the voting group who trembled in fear at People Who Like to Fuck Naked? Now they would read it with their morning coffee. Aleister soon to see large erect penis on the front page 18 minutes to large erect penis on the front page, 10 4 mmx

Two! Two erect penisi on the front page! Please take a look at the bottom pic which I changed at People Who Like to Fuck Naked, and then maybe you would consider nominating it yourself, which would clear sail it past the guardians of decency, ack. Two! Ok, 'nuff said. No, it isn't. Two! Al des chains, on this historic day 00:53 11 4 mmx

I want...

...rollback! And if you don't give it to me I will huff your pages and get revenge. Or something along those lines. —Pelozurian (talk) 07:36, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

in 20 words, tell me how you're going to abuse that power. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 07:46, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Rollback is only one step closer to being a semi-admin. You don't want that on your head. With power comes people thinking you have responsibilities. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 07:51, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. —Pelozurian (talk) 07:52, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

You lose. Try again. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME

I'd actually rather not. —Pelozurian (talk) 08:01, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

OK, I'm confused, who needs to give you rollback, me or Moosh? ~ 09:23, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

On a similar note, I had been led to believe that admins are cool and sexy. Since being made an admin, my coolness and sexy levels remain unchanged. Could there be something at fault and is it possible to get it repaired for free? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:10, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

I thought we were one. Soulmates and stuff. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME

I deserve rollback more, because I'll get the "rollback the universe" power and rollback the world to January 2005 and stop Uncyclopedia from being created. And if Chronarion creates it anyway, I'll rollback his mother to age 8 so he doesn't exist anymore. Then, I will write "Mordillo is a Jew" all over Wikipedia and rollback the people who revert me.

How's that for rollback abuse?! (It's in more than 20 words because I'm cooler than everyone else) I'm also really tired of being revert conflicted because I had to click a bunch more buttons to get there, because that screws up the page--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 17:12, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

You lose. You forgot to take into account that Chronarion's mother was 7 when she got pregnant, already had him by age 8, so he would still exist. Fail. Al sans chains 17:24 10 4 mmx

Where is my rollback, Mordillo? I am getting impatient. Mass huffing will take place if I do not have rollback by the end of the day. —Pelozurian (talk) 20:31, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm still waiting for you to describe in 20 words or less how are you going to misuse your powers. Helpme's essay doesn't count for your rollback you know. ~ 20:33, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

When did this become policy? —Pelozurian (talk) 20:34, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Ever since that time I had that headache. ~ 20:40, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

I know! I will somehow kill Mordillo with rollback. Is that good?--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 20:46, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah yeah, you proved yourself worthy already, but Pelozurian still owe a pint of blood good speech. ~ 20:48, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

I know, I just wanted to say that so he couldn't. /me laughs maniacally--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 20:58, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

WOO! I'm gonna go rollback everyone I see! /me goes power mad--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 21:39, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Damn You

Damn you and your ninja-like VFH watch. Can't you tell I forgot to login on this laptop? GAWD.     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   20:53, Saturday 10 April 2010  

Err..er...yeah! Don't do that again! /me scratches head in bewilderment ~ 21:23, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Hey uh... about Uncyclopedia:VFH/Special:Random.... That was a truly genuine Nomination. Per the rules of VFH:

1. Articles from all namespaces (including UnNews, UnTunes, HowTo, UnBooks, etc.) are eligible for VFH. Votes against articles based on namespace prejudice will be discarded.

So..... why'd you huff that man? It seems to be like you're violating me something nasty just for trying something new!     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   21:25, Sunday 11 April 2010  

And how exactly do you expect people to vote and/or for me to feature it on the main page? ~ 21:59, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Other than the fact that this is not a namespace. It's a random redirect. ~ 22:00, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

AFAIK, Special: is a valid namespace. I mean, see Special:SpecialPages! Whole buncha articles in there. As for how to feature it on the main page..... shit, I have no idea how that system works. But it'll be interesting, nonetheless!     EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   23:21, Sunday 11 April 2010  

Now you're just hanging on technicalities. Anyways, see how this fares. It this goes through, I'll cut your balls off. ~ 07:05, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Apology

Sorry for threating. There it is. ~Prehistory96 (about) Giganotosaurus 23:16, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

There you go. :) —Pelozurian (talk) 23:17, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

/me declares dispute over--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 23:39, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Wheres my page? ~Prehistory96 (about) Giganotosaurus 00:35, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Dont be impatient. Mordillo can do it when he pleases. —Pelozurian (talk) 00:47, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

This is not when I please this is I sleep sometimes. I see that Pelozurian already recreated the hundreds lines of elaborated text and images you had on that page. Now you have time to fix your sig. ~ 09:39, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

New comments

My new messages are up in the Sideboob section, above. Two! Al des chains 1:01 11 4 mmx

Something about penii not doubt? ~ 09:38, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

I want ...

... a pony. Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 02:19, Apr 11 2010 UTC

A dog that rides a pony? That doesn't make a lot of sense...--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 02:21, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

I want a pony, daddy! And the goose that lays gold chocolate eggs! And I want it now! Nominally Humane! some time Sunday, 02:22, Apr 11 2010 UTC

Not until you apologize for eating Why's pet parrot!--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 02:25, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

When I grow up, I'm gonna be famous, I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be in movies! When I grow up, I'm gonna be a star, I'm gonna be in movies, I'm gonna have boobies! Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it! You just might get it! You just might get it! —Pelozurian (talk) 02:48, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

In twenty words or less describe how you're going to misuse the pony. ~ 09:37, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

The Column-template

Hi, something's a bit fuckéd about the template, some unnecessary text leaks out onto the article. I'll see if I can figger it out myself but I doubt it since I haven't been concentrating on anything those things. -- Style  Guide 05:27, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Fixed, I've put the noninclude tag in the wrong place. --~ 09:31, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you! -- Style  Guide 09:43, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Hey

I've heard you're the one in charge here. What do you thinking about an Uncyclopedian Day of Mourning due to Polish plane crash? These days it's... hm... a bit popular to show a sympathy to Poland. What about changing main page to some gray/black colo(u)rs for a day? Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 19:12, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Hi. First of all, my condolences for this tragedy. As for your request, I suggest you run a quick forum, if you get community consent, we can put it up in a jiffy. ~ 20:13, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

In second thought, I've placed a site notice. We don't really do mourning reskins. Hope this is OK. ~ 20:29, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, nice. I had run a quick forum but they've sent me to you. Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 21:11, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I've noticed that afterwards. ~ 21:14, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

User Eram 19. Here

Hi. My own user page has become protected now, and I can't edit it anymore. I think a friend of mine, user:Charl3(s) might have been editing it without my knowledge, but at any rate I would like to be able to edit it again. I'll tell my friend to bugger off in the future, but would it be possible for you to un-protect it? It would be much appreciated. Cheers :-)

Unprotected. I'd like you and your friends to stop editing each other's user pages, you're causing the admins to monitor and revert edits with no good reason. Thanks. ~ 11:43, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Voting Mayhem

To be absolutely clear, I voted for Nachlader. All the other votes of mine are either me striking my prior silliness/me giving spiritual support to the other nominees. Sorry about the confusion, Mordillo. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:05, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

Augh, Guildy, you ruin everything! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 04:04, Apr 15 2010

Congrats!

Every day I wake up and say to myself "Children are a blessing." Although I wish I didn't have to keep reminding myself. Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 13:19, Apr 15 2010 UTC

Congratulations Mordillo! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 00:06, Apr 16 2010

Assuming these are congratulations congratulating you for what I think they're congratulations congratulating you for, congratulations! Mazel tov al holedet haben/habat! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:04, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Looks like you now know how UU felt, being buried in baby vomit. Oh, and congratulations.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 22:03, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Wow, that's great Mordillo! Might I suggest this for his/her first Passover? —Pelozurian (talk) 22:11, 16 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks guys,sorry I couldn't respond sooner, got to deal with all sort of new concepts such as bottles, pacifiers and poo. Especially poo. ~ 09:15, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

I take it, Mordillo, that you had a baby? As Gomer Pyle would say, "Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations!" Had a baby. And here all this time I thought you were a guy. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:17, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

Apr 15th, 2010 • Issue 84 • News? Where we're going, we don't need... News...

Something Scary This Way "Comes" By Skinfan13 A recent infestation of glowing dildos has taken over the front page of Uncyclopedia. Many users were shocked on April 11th when they opened up their web browsers and were treated to bright green replicas of EugeneKay's penis. Everywhere. Even poor anti-Semite Mel Gibson couldn't escape the wrath of the glowing dick. And the reason for the Scream in Edvard Munch's famous painting was revealed - turns out to have been caused by a hoard of giant glowing EugeneKay penises - an understandable reaction. When asked to comment on the matter, users simply refused to acknowledge that they had seen the penises at all. "Well, I for one didn't notice anything. Glowing penii are so common around here that these particular examples of illuminated manhood really didn't make an impression..." said Aleister in Chains. HELPME had a different outlook on the whole matter: "of course I noticed, how couldn't I? They were everywhere!" he exclusively told our intrepid reporter. Random internet traffic took notice of the infestation as well, with 127.0.0.1 commenting" "Ballsack!!!11 alolololololololooll pasfsdkjfhaelkfjds PENIS PENIS PENIS." He was promptly banned. The infestation passed almost as quickly as it came and a sense of normalcy returned to the main page when the penises retreated into the dark and abysmal graveyard of unused image files. By April 13th, all traces of the Great Penis Invasion of April 11-13 2010 (as it is now being called) were gone. There are, however, unconfirmed reports that the menace still lingers close to the main page, just waiting to strike again soon. I See IC All At Sea By UU It has come to the attention of our ever-vigilant reporters (largely because Why? has been bugging us to write a story about it) that Why? has decided to stand down as Admiral of Imperial Colonization, the organisation that somewhat amusingly styles itself after British Imperialism, but uses American spelling. We didn't need to ask the outgoing Admiral for a comment, as he was falling over himself to give us plenty, so we randomly selected the following: "I'm anal for accuracy", he told us. Among other things. Anyway, if you want to follow in Why?'s footsteps, and those of his illustrious predecessors in charge of the Colonization project, you can sign up to be considered for the post here. If it helps, you may wear a nice hat (please provide your own hat).

Check out these pages! The seed of a good idea It's a surprise, it says so in the name... Tell Uncle Dex everything. Everything... From our logs: 17:54, 14 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.185.215.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (On the charge of flagrant asshattery while in posession of an internet connection, I find you incredibly guilty) 20:05, 13 April 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I never gave you an inaugural joke ban? I blame you.) 23:03, 12 April 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.55.13.71 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (And the LORD said unto me: "Go ye, and smite the page blankers; they are as shit upon My heavenly sandal") 14:44, 11 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS blocked 79.73.5.86 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (You sound clever, and therefore I am blocking you to ensure that your talents are not wasted on us.) 21:19, 11 April 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a random ban time ‎ (chose your own adventure) Biopic of the Week Continuing our glorious occasional tradition of bio-ing people who haven't contributed for months and half the newer members of the wiki will never have heard of, let's have a look at Andorin Kato. An Uncyc stalwart since 2006, Andorin was voting on VFD, QVFDing stuff and writing good articles when most of today's active users were in short trousers (they're still in short trousers, of course, but it's been a while). In true on-the-ball Uncyc fashion, this hard work was recognised when Andorin was made UotM in November 2009. He was less than thrilled. The nostalgic return of Cajek Ban of the Week 11:39, 14 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (About time I did this. It's been a good two weeks and I haven't done yet.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 20:34, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Rollback Request - Again

Hey Mordillo, I would like to request rollback again to aid in counter-vandalism here. Unfortunately, there isn't much that I can do for Uncyclopedia in terms of writing articles, since I am as boring as I am unfunny. I am, however, pretty dedicated to removing what vandalism I find, and being able to separate stupid edits that were made to be funny, and intentional vandalism. Thanks for considering, and if you turn down this request then I won't ask again :P Ajraddatz _Talk 01:45, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

I suspect 'Dillo might be busy right now - see the congratulations just a little bit further up this page. He has other priorities. Try Mhaille. --UU - natter 08:32, Apr 16

Thanks. Ajraddatz _Talk 19:37, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

OK, I'll give you rollback as soon as I can, just be careful not to revert edits before you check it's actual vandalism. ~ 09:15, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

I'll be sure to, thanks. Ajraddatz _Talk 23:21, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

I'm showing my ignorance once again, but what is the difference between rollback and revert on Uncyclopedia? On Wikipedia it's essentially a one-button revert, and can also revert a series of edits by one user on an article. Is it the same here? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:58, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

Yes. Plus the ability to suppress redirects when moving pages. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 04:41, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

Archiving talk page of Black People

Talk:Black People is getting rather long, and more importantly, it seems that noobs tend to leave new headers in the middle of that page without timestamps so that it is nearly impossible to tell who wrote what when. Could we possibly archive it? --Mn-z 04:47, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

'Dillo may be busy right now, what with his new arrival and all. But sure, knock yourself out. (I assume you meant you'd do it yourself). --UU - natter 08:44, Apr 16

What the guy with the baby vomit said. ~ 09:15, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

Mabrook, Mordillo!

For the little pooper that popped out of your wife! :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 10:36, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Congrats on the mouth to feed. May it always speak well of you! Al sans Chains 22:08 16 4 MMX

CONGRATULATIONS MASTER MORDILLO! --Matfen 22:33, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

Shukran Moosh and everyone! :) ~ 09:15, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

Article

For the sake of preventing accidently breaking Rule #2 and getting myself that final infiniban, I have to ask an admin if this peice can be main-spaced, or if it's too "UnNews:Faggot had a personal problem with me"-esque. I was actually planning on having it deleted if SPIKE himself didn't like it. -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 08:19, Apr. 17, 2010

I would do two things before moving it into the main page. Change it from specific referl to Spike into a more general "UnNews new style guide" and ask him if he's all right with it. ~ 09:15, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

What if I change it to "Mike LaPerra"? I really have my heart set on that joke, as "LaPerra" is Spanish for "female dog". -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 09:20, Apr. 17, 2010

I should also point out that my name happens to be Mike, so it could be interpreted as me being the one whining. (Sorry in advanced if this edit conflicts you.) -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 09:23, Apr. 17, 2010

Sure, as long as he doesn't feel it's a personal attach, no issues. ~ 10:04, April 17, 2010 (UTC)

Did someone mention my name? Mike LaPerra 03:51, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

Inquiry thingy

Considering the fact that VFH is quite slow, do you think articles should be featured every other day for a while? Or is that a stupid idea?--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 03:13, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Im gonna go with "stupid idea." Am I right? Am I right, people? *nudges Mordillo* —Pelozurian (talk) 04:19, 23 April 2010 (UTC)

Like the user above, this is not my question and not my talk page. Since I've been here, the admins have generally featured one article a day unless they felt that nothinng on VFH had enough votes to get featured (they seem to like a positive score in the double digits), in which case they'd wait a day. I don't think it's a very formal thing, but is mostly the judgment of the admins. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:09, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

I typically feature articles as long as we're in the double digits. When we drop off the doubles we'll take a break. ~ 05:35, April 23, 2010 (UTC)

Seriously.

What is up with that space that is left at the end of your signature? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 06:43, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Hold on, first I need to ban you for calling me a faggot. ~ 06:52, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

Of London Stations and Aged Cheese

...and yes, the actual size of this image is big enough to not be entirely useless.

Yes, that one on Wikipedia is the one. Euston is actually very close to Fleet Street, they're both marked on this map with red arrows for your convenience. As you could follow main roads it'd be easy to walk but it'd also be easy to go by tube to Chancery Lane which is the nearest station (personally, I find the tube about as pleasant as being stabbed, so I avoid it at all costs). I'd highly recommend any beer by Samuel Smith's while you're there - and Oli will agree - as they make some of the very finest beer I've ever tasted. The British Museum, marked with a green arrow, is also nearby and I believe it has an exhibition of Jewish artifacts in addition to the usual Egyptian/Mesopotamian/African and so on, so that might be of interest if you find the time and fancy having a look. You'd also not be far from the newly-opened Jewish Museum in Camden, which I'm told is very good. If I do make it down - which is unlikely, as we're going to be going on holiday shortly afterwards and I really need to save all the cash I can - I'd be going via King's Cross and could easily transfer to Euston and act as a native guide, though you'd have to pay me with some really shiny beads as well as buying a pint. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:22, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Also, I assumed Natalie Tran was either vanity or cyberbullying after you huffed it, so I huffed it a second time following recreation. However, it seems it isn't - Wikipedia has an article about her, so I just wanted to check that this is fine with you and you didn't have some other reason to huff it? Don't want to step on your toes after all - I wouldn't care, but I don't want Mossad knocking on the door at 3am. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:56, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Let me quote the unblock screen - what do you care? You're an admin baby :). But seriously, if you think I was mistaken (which retrospectively I was) feel free to correct my erroneous ways. Don't worry about the 3am thing, they charge overtime for that so I stick with the early appointments. ~ 13:00, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Perhaps, but you're the uberadmin! I actually assumed it was vanity or yer typical "This girl is really cute but I'm not brave enough to go up and tell her at school so I'll declare my love here and hope she finds it and wants to be my girlfriend" (wonder if that's ever worked?) so, as I said, I huffed it too. Just wanted to check there wasn't some other reason I'd missed. As for Mossad, there was a helicopter overhead at about 9pm last night with a searchlight. I assumed it was the local police, but maybe it wasn't - even Mossad aren't usually so quick they get to the target 16 hours before anything has even happened! I can only assume they now have ESP abilities - which is actually quite a scary thought. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:09, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Was it a black unmarked helicopter with a Star of David shaped propeller? ~ 23:04, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for Ghosts!

Just saw you chose Ghosts for feature. Thank you! Appreciated. It wouldn't seem that 10 votes would be enough to feature, but when it's the highest count I guess that works. I hope all is going well with your family, and that the Black Helicopters don't keep the young'un up at night. And hey, I want and demand rollback (on second thought, a second later, no I don't). There, I think I'm caught up. Thanks again, Aleister in Chains 22:11 28 4

You know, if anyone was as nice as you about featuring, I might even start to enjoy myself :) ~ 20:15, April 29, 2010 (UTC)

In that case, thanks for Occam's Razor. Which also reminds me - did you want me to start writing up the stuff you put into the front page for features for the articles I put up for feature if they are going to be featured? You know, the stuff that goes into the feature queue thingy? (Just thinking about how much of a bitch Tropical cyclone would have been, as well as VMCSE - not that it's likely to be featured, but nonetheless.) Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 04:32, Apr 30 2010 UTC

Nah, I like the challenge, but thanks for the offer. ~ 00:54, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

Hi!

You should be my friend because I'm friendly and stuff.
Love,  

And why would you think I'm not your friend...and stuff...? ~ 20:15, April 29, 2010 (UTC)

Yay! Does this mean we're friends now!? YAY! Love,  

I didn't think we weren't to begin with but yay indeed! ~ 00:52, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

Chit chat

Let me know when you're in chat next; an idea that might interest you. -- Style  Guide 17:20, April 30, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. ~ 00:54, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

I found this to be hilarious!

It proves once again that God is sneaky!  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  01 May 2010 ~ 01:16 (UTC)

That just shows he has something to hide. Conspiracy! - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 01:24, Saturday 01 May 2010 -

UnSignpost 1 May

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost: Special Weekend edition

The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!

April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here

The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. By PuppyOnTheRadio "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still struggling going strong. There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves." One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, RDB PuppyOnTheRadio. And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia

Check out these pages! UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out Looks who's out of the closet. The most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years From our logs: Flammable blocked 86.171.18.85 with an expiry time of infinite ‎(YOU ARE SO COOL SO COOL AWESOME LOL) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 91.195.183.211 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Ah, that may be true, but you are a wanker, so it evens out) Olipro blocked 92.4.117.223 with an expiry time of infinite (YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ARSE WHILE WATCHING A YANKEES GAME?) Mordillo blocked 217.28.207.226 with an expiry time of 1 week (time's up! you need to go to the toilet to do some poopy!) RabbiTechno blocked 91.195.183.213 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Cyberbullying. Matthew R. would like to point out that while he may be gay, you are banned) Olipro blocked YOUR TOO SLOW! with an expiry time of infinite ‎(your spelling is shit, it's spelt "YOU'RE" ... so that means you're a fucking retard) ChiefjusticeDS blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 days ‎(Blessed be the Uncyclopedia admins for they shall lead us to the promised land, also bye bye!) Mordillo blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 years (It took them 40 years not 40 days you bloody heathen) Biopic of the Week What can anyone say about Maniac1075. There are rumours that he is not an individual, but rather a multinational conglomerate of authors who do nothing but write quality articles on an extremely high rate. Or at least on an extreme high. However you look at it his contributions to date have been fast and furious. There is definitely something odd with him at least. If nothing else, he has a scarily in-depth knowledge of the world of professional wrestling. In fact he has been nominated as both Writer of the month and Potatochopper of the month. There is a particular school of though that says that these fields here should be filled in with any old garbage in order to ensure that both the left and the right hand sides of the USP are of the same length. While we appreciate this sentiment, the truth is that the USP is known to be constantly at bursting point with information that we can't fit into one column, and so this right hand column is essential for the stuff that we can't fit elsewhere. SCROTUM The above section is not a prime example of the statement in the section above. Please feel free to ignore it.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:07, 1 May 2010

I reverted you...

Because I already added the UOTM template to Guildy's user page. So please don't strike me down with all of your wrath. Also, speaking of awards, on POTM you gave Maniac1075 the POTM trophy because you said he got three votes. But, Al nommed him, and then he got two votes. --Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 00:32, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

WHY YOU LITTLE#%@%@#%@%@ thanks for the heads up ~ 01:09, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

Nobel Peace Prize

Dude! Thanks for the vote, and recognition. It's great to have cool friends. Anywhere! Cheers!--Funnybony    01:32, May 2

Member Q?

Hi Mordillo. My wife, who also writes for Wikipedia, has an account of here too, --Sirivrinda 01:51, May 2, 2010 (UTC) -- but it shows as no account. Is this cause of same DSL main line on different computers? She's a real member. And she even voted for me. How to correct that? Much appreciated as always. Cheers!--Funnybony    02:04, May 2

Hmmm....there is an existing account that showed record of voting. What does she get when she tries to logon? ~ 04:46, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

She has an account when she logs on, it shows she is logged-on Uncyclopedia as User:Sirivrinda, but her vote signature shows her UN as red and says no such user. I told her that's maybe because we have the same DSL account WiFi and you are trying to stop people from making double accounts and voting twice. That is not the case, and she voted on her own computer without my asking. She recenly started editing in her native language Wikipedia, and there is also Uncyclopedia in her language. So I suggested she checkout Uncyclopedia, and showed her I was nommed. But didn't ask her to vote as she has never voted for me before. In any case, she is a real Wikipedian and has joined Uncyclopedia and voted for me. So I hope her account can be fixed. I can certainly prove all this. Or you can write to her email whatever she registered. Thanks a mil. Cheers!--Funnybony    05:27, May 2

That's probably because she hasn't created a userpage, it doesn't have to do anything with using the same ADSL/WIFI line (or even the same computer, we don't limit that). Tell her to create a userpage and try again. ~ 06:04, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

Great! I showed her your reply, and she did it. Done! Thanks as always. Cheers!--Funnybony    07:20, May 2

np ~ 09:43, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

Sacred

Hello. You may have seen the Forum idea where I suggested adding on a third sacred holy revered rule for Uncy, "Dance like you've never danced before" (via Happytimes' idea). In seriousicty, what do you think of that? It seemed to fit well when added to the two, sending the person on their way with positive reinforcement--it would tell them to be funny and not stuupid, to not be a dick, and then, in the positive, go forth and create like you've never created before, in metaphor. And thank you for your vote on wotm, very nice to have your support. That whole award came up unexpectedly, and when I had a look at the clubhouse, whoa, but you know what I mean. I'll see you in the billard room later, after I use the wind tunnel and outdoor riding path. Oh, and last thing, please have a look at my talk page of James Bevel if you have a minute or three, for a question about google. Thanks again. Al sans chains 11:25 2 5 MMX

Hya, looks like a good idea, but let's try to write something quick so we don't just have an obscure headline. It can be a completely arbitrary "DANCE RUN DANCE" a la back to the future, or connect it with "dance all over your article". Wanna put together a draft? I'd like to help but I can't muster the energy to write anything at the moment, maybe later on this week. And congrats on your WOTM! ~ 17:58, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

I agree with Mordillo--Funnybony    07:46, May 3

Just saw this from yesterday. I'll get back to it later today, things to do people to see naps to take. Thanks, and Happytimes' language sounded good to me at the moment. Are you thinking of a new sentence, or an explanation in HTBFANJS? I'll dwell on it for awhuile. And thank you, on the wotm thing. As the new guy I know I have to make the coffee, but it goes with the territory. Al des chains 13:51 3 5 MMX

I was actually thinking of - Uncyclopedia:Dance like you've never danced before. ~ 14:16, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, maybe wires crossed and i's undotted. I was suggesting a Sacred Rules change:

1. Be funny and not just stupid.

2. Don't be a dick.

3. Dance like you've never danced before.

It seems like it rounds out the rules and sends the user out into the world with encouragment and a sense of freedom. Thoughts? and if positive, process? Thanks again, Aleister des chains 16:18 3 5 MMX

I realize that, but notice that rules 1&2 actually are links and lead to some content? That's what I'm aiming for, even if it's just the ole MC hammer picture. ~ 19:58, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, so my wires were crossed. And my eyes undotted. I don't think I've ever clicked on those two links. I wonder, and am scared to find out, what the "Don't be a dick" link leads to??? Let's play with the page, (Hammer sound good) and see what emerges. Just thought, duh Aleister, have you ever seen the dances at "Welcome Party for Noobs"? I put in the Hitler and black folks dancing and the drummer, and then Zana added lots of dance, and I've continued to add moar dance, and maybe we can just copy and paste that whole section and plop it on a page. After all of this I feel like. . .dancing. . .Aleister in Chains 20:47 3 5 MMX

You should be dancing. Yeah. ~ 21:03, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

OK, cool, I'll transfer the dancing, after putting the two near the top in the mix, and see what it looks like. And thank you for the main page write-up, lol. I really liked the Notm write-up, and am glad another tie occurred. Al in chains 21:14 3 5 MMX

That wasn't me, that was Chief. ~ 21:27, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

? How do I know you're not Chief this time. In any case, page created, and I must go eat to sustain my existence. Enjoy! Al sans chains 22:26 3 5 MMX

Oh, the front page was Chief. My wires are crossing all ovfer today. Food. My brain craves food. Al sans chains 22:29 3 5 MMX

A new day, and brain well nourished. What next? Do we just add the rule (wiki style)? How did you like the link page? I have been dancing for hours. Aleister in Chains 00:27 5 5 MMX

Mecca Vice will skip your home

"Much thanks!"

--Funnybony    07:00, May 3

Oscar Wilde grue

Good call, have you ever deleted that particular article before, I'm surprised there isn't a article on it already--Pireninja 15:01, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

Probably came about and deleted several times in the past - not under this specific name though. ~ 15:23, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

Hey Moardildoz.

You know how I'm not suppose to be given ops in IRC? Well that fag gave me them and then I opped Skizzerz and kicked him. Then I de-opped myself when Skizzerz rejoined. So you gonna get that fag? You know which one. He threatened to get Chron and Stillwaters. And Xenu. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:29, May 5, 2010 (UTC)

Also, your talk page seems longer today than it did last night. You should archive it. Or I could for you, but I'm not sure if you would want your talk page to begin with me just saying, "CRUSHERBOT DESTROYS THE 'CRAT!" MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:47, May 5, 2010 (UTC)

I can has

...back: "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER!" ??? I was right in the middle of editing it when it was huffeded.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  07 May 2010 ~ 02:10 (UTC)

Huffed? This has proven to be a very popular page in the last few days, and has a backstory. My heart is broken. Aleister in Chains 2:14 7 5 MMX

YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL MOTHERFUCKER!

Why? Multiple regular editors, two of which at least previous WotMs, a construction tag, and no VFD discussion or vote. Well formatted one line joke. And if we go by the never be another wizard then can you huff wizard, as there can never be another Dan Kwon? Wizard was the explanation for everything, this was the generic insult. Please hack it back. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 02:21, May 7 2010 UTC

What they said.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  07 May 2010 ~ 02:26 (UTC)

Since when did these articles become the bread and butter of Uncyclopedia? Is that the only thing that writers here are now able to produce? a stupid headline that an idiot IP set with a picture? Come on, the one line hysterical in jokes are becoming tiresome. ~ 04:06, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

From my reckoning, since 2005. And if you find it tiresome, then put it up for VFD, let the community vote, and if the community decides that it's tiresome, then huff it. In the meantime, this was a work in progress, so it you'd kindly put it back. Otherwise, could you please put it into my user space. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 06:49, May 7 2010 UTC

It does seem to me that you're dictating terms? It is a one line piece of shit, and WIP doesn't gives it immunity as any other number of WOTM participants. You're welcome to recreate in your space as I didn't see anything more than a picture and a couple of lines. ~ 07:27, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

I agree with mordillo, and if you haven't noticed, more and more weak articles have been passing VFH recently, which means that our previous WoTMs should get on their asses and write some quality material instead of one-liners. Yes, we're having a shortage of good articles. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 08:00, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

What Mordillo said. Every word of it. --UU - natter 08:31, May 7

Agreed, also, COME BACK SOON UU!! I'M NOT COPING WELL WITHOUT YOU!!! --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 08:37, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, I would like that in my user space. No, I'm not dictating terms, just asking for the amount of courtesy that you would give a any user in relation to any other article that has been huffed. I can't recreate the history on that article, and there was a significant amount of code behind it I would like back. And yes, I've noticed that more weak articles are passing VFH, and that more quality needs to be written. And I'd rather spend my time working on new articles then asking again for an old article to be returned. So can I have it back now? Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 09:23, May 7 2010 UTC

Restored to your space. Keep it there please and avoid from categorizing it. ~ 11:41, May 7, 2010 (UTC)

<deindent> Many thanks. Now it can wait until I have something better to add to it. Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 11:55, May 7 2010 UTC

BUTT POOP!!!! --Mn-z 06:09, May 8, 2010 (UTC)

Dennis K's wife

Thanks for your vote for the page. I've always liked the concept but didn't realize others even knew of the page's existence until Dexter made that comment on the wotm nom last month. Appreciated. And a sage decision on YMSCIHMF. Now we can all visit it on Puppy's user page and gather there for tea. Al sans chains 3:38 8 5 MMX

M,m,m,m,m,m,m,m; T.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  08 May 2010 ~ 06:04 (UTC)

The article actually made me look up who the guy was, so I got humor AND education. ~ 21:55, May 8, 2010 (UTC)

Like I told Puppy, it's a sad day for me. I just found out my mother sucks cocks in hell. Oh well, maybe Dennis K's wife on the front page will cheer me up. The page hasn't refreshed as yet, and I'm waiting to see her smiling face there. When their offices open I'm going to let Dennis Kucinich's staff know that the page is up there. Hee hee. Tnanks again, Aleister sans chains 00:31 10 5 MMX

Clear your cache, it's been up there for half an hour now. ~ 00:34, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Noticed something

This image, which is currently on VFP, shows a dead Jew. I just realized that. --Mn-z 06:15, May 8, 2010 (UTC)

Not dead - just severely tortured. Which is fine, and very American. Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 06:25, May 8 2010 UTC

SIGHT KNOWTISE

Hay, can you at lest make the site notice a template and protect it, if only to make it readily accessible as a reference of some sort? Otherwise I'll just have to show both site notices.--Flammable 02:31, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

I love how certain pages aren't protected.

Why is that? I'm speficially referring to how I had to have RAHB protect the Rewrite template. Since you're the current 'crat, I feel like I should direct all anger towards you. After all, that's what that one vandal always does, and he seems like a nice guy. Also, when can I sit on your baby... Or your wife? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:10, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Consider your anger properly directed. Anything practical you need on top of your anger? As for the 2nd question, you'll need to discuss that with my wife and she is the crat of my household. ~ 20:52, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, the thing that inspired the anger was having learned that Template:Rewrite wasn't semi-protected. RAHB took care of that immediately. I just wanted to bitch at you. And can your wife get on Skype? We'll chat via webcam. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 17:34, May 13, 2010 (UTC)

Trust me, you do not want to piss off my wife. ~ 22:23, May 13, 2010 (UTC)

Okay, if I can't piss her off, then can I still piss on her as she does a big smile? MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:43, May 13, 2010 (UTC)

Discordianism and Mordillo

You may know that, while Discordianism got 13 for votes, it didn't pass VFH. I'm asking all those who voted no for suggestions for improving the article. I know you said you thought it was well written but needed more humour. If you'd like to post specific suggestions on Talk:Discordianism, that would be great. Thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:01, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Arrgh!

That's the third time in a row you've beaten me to rollback! You're making my contributions look so uncool! HAET HAET HAT!--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 01:19, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

And for my next trick I shall make you vanish. ~ 01:20, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Nooo! I want to shag the sheep! Oh well, at least Paizuri can't either.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 01:22, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Yom tov

There's a chance I won't be around for a few days, so chag Shavuot sameach. Toda to HaShem for blintzes (and the Torah, mustn't forget that). Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:33, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Forget the Torah, that's really not the thing. But BLINCHEZ!!! I can't have enough of those. Hag sameach! ~ 20:14, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Did you know it's impossible to keep a Jew in jail? That's because we eat lox. (Blame Mel Brooks for that one). Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 18:15, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

That's...quite bad O_O ~ 19:02, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

If you want...

You can ban me for that. It's understandable. Maybe the <s></s> was a bit too much when assuring that he wasn't vandalising, simply regretting the article he made. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:09, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

I would have, but I seem to have misplaced my ban button. I'll look it up for next time. ~ 21:11, May 17, 2010 (UTC)

PLS Question (Hypothetical... honest!)

If about a third to half of an article was written in userspace a bit ago, and then the user noticed the pls writing competition, and wrote the other half of it and added images and proofread it for the time of the closing date, would they be allowed to submit it? --Matfen 01:02, May 19, 2010 (UTC)

Hypothetically speaking, of course, anything that was started prior to the PLS starting date, in any space, is not eligible. ~ 03:38, May 19, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, well thank you clearing that up, (hypothetically speaking >( )

Sci fi

I did the 'quote' thing with your cyberpunk piece, and it looks very good. Looks so good you can take a picture of it and use it as a holiday card. Aleister sans chains 1:29 19 5 MMX

And I fixed what Al did. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 04:10, May 19 2010 UTC

While, down at the ranch, I added a bit to what Puppy discovered within the text. Al des chains 11:50 19 5 MMX

Dancing

I was answering Fredd on my page and it seemed natural to write "and dance like you've never danced before". What do you think about adding that to the Golden Two, as we left hanging awhile ago, and how to do it? A vote (boring), dictatorial rule (I like it!), or something in-between? I'd suggest you just open up the page and add it if you like it, and then we celebrate. But that would be just like the time you gave me rollback power and I made MadMax and MrN vanish, and you had to take it away again. Al des chains 11:55 19 5 MMX

Done!. ~ 13:56, May 19, 2010 (UTC)

Wow, you did it! It's really nice to see your name on the very short history page. HappyTimes will be very surprised, he will have no idea this was occuring. So, celebration! Dancing, drinking, other things, yay! (and it does feel very nice, the golden triad, the third seems to round out and accent the total list). Aleister sans chains 16:15 19 5 MMX

I am so dancing right now... (like I've never danced before). *grin*  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  20 May 2010 ~ 00:46 (UTC)

Login and Watchlist problem thanks

Just wanted to thank you for pointing out where to link to bitch about Wikia login and watchlist problems (you know how I love to bitch). It looks like everything's been fixed. Thanks again! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:01, May 19, 2010 (UTC)

No problem. --~ 05:51, May 20, 2010 (UTC)

Recent News Edit

It seems you recently moved a news page and placed it under the use res name... more specifically this page: User:Skinfan13/UnNews:Greenland Declares Independence from Denmark, World Doesn't Care. Unfortunately before moving it, you failed to look on the main page to see that the news post has already made front page. So now we have BIG RED TEXT on the front page. I request that you fix this and return the news article to it's proper page... or there will be hell to pay. You see, when you performed that action you not only made yourself look stupid... but you made the whole website look bad... That is not tolerated here. More importantly, judging from your talk page... and the fact that MOST of your edits were reverted back to their original state, i can clearly see you are not a monitor, or admin, but more importantly you are also very unpopular with them. I will give you the change to correct your mistake. You have till Saturday to fix your mistake, and I warn you, you do not want to see what happens when you fail in a request from me. If you think the Admins, Bureaucrats, and Monitors are scary... let me tell you that I am FAR more frightening then them, and I can think of FAR more frightening punishments they they could even DREAM...I kid you not.Till next time. --DragonLizardJareth 15:10, May 20, 2010 (UTC)

I am sorry master, please don't hurt me. ~ 21:29, May 20, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah Mordillo, he's gonna spank you if you don't fix it!--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 12:17, May 21 2010 UTC

I thought this was Puppy or someone playing with you, but the user is real. I read some of his stuff, he has untapped potential. Why don't you ban him for an hour or something for violating the Don't Be A Dick rule (just thought, you can now ban someone if they aren't dancing like they never danced before!), just to show him that a DragonLizard has to play nice. Besides that, that was a pretty cool threat from someone who totally misreads someone's talk page. Al des chains 1:14 21 5 MMX

The only thing that really concerns me is that he might take that shitty attitude of his to another fellow user, that doesn't identify what a sack of bollocks this is and might be intimidated. As for this post, he gets a ban free card. Just this once. ~ 15:25, May 21, 2010 (UTC)

I've been collecting insults/threats/insane wafflings from authors/editors of articles I've ICU'd/vivisected/huffed for a while now, but I never get anything even approaching this little beauty. No fair! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:43, May 21, 2010 (UTC)

And it's not even his article. But my number one is by far this. ~ 15:46, May 21, 2010 (UTC)

Frankly, I think any member who threatens a bureaucrat (or anyone else, for that matter) should get an infinite ban, but that's just me.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 04:19, May 21 2010 UTC

Well I for one would like to thank DragonLizardJareth for his vigilance, I have long had my suspicions about this Mordillo fellow. --ChiefjusticeGameBoy 16:36, May 21, 2010 (UTC)

I heard he's a Jew. They eat babies, you know. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:38, May 21, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, remember when we got rid of that Jew called "RabbiTechno"? Hey, wait a minute...--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Friday, 04:41, May 21 2010 UTC

I'm a vegan, though - I use the blood of jellybabies to make matzah and I believe even the most Jew-hostile goyim aren't too bothered about them. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:47, May 21, 2010 (UTC)

I think DragonLizardJareth is either being very clever or very stupid. I'm just not sure which. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:14, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Several thangs

Thanks for the spelling fix. I must have read that line 20 times or more, and the first time I spotted the mistake was on the pre-feature que page! --- HappyTimes was very happy, and the rules page sure looks nice. On the dancing page, the quick box throws off the word format, and I've tried moving it but that doesn't work well. Is the box really needed? --Ah, science fiction. Puppy has asked me to get it on pee review on Monday, so I guess I'll have to herd the cats. I like your idea about the Sci-Fi characters talking to the editors and readers. If done well that can be quite interesting. Maybe three or four of them? What do you think about which characters should be talking? Sci fi. Aleister sans chains 00:58 21 5 MMX

How could you huff that!?!

• 02:42, May 23, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) huffed "Who could possibly make God?" ‎ (content was: 'MEOW!')

What the fuck?!? THAT WAS GREAT!! Actually... The huff history may be better... MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:46, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Easy, I just pressed that button and shit happens! Hold on, let me show you that again on your userpage...~ 02:48, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

Take note I said how "could" you, not how "did" you. Now, think of a funny reason why you did so. Also, would you consider me as taking the joke too far if I were to VFH that huff log? I may be tempted to do so when VFH gets slow again. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:13, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

YEAH! <song> MORDILLO IS A POOP, HE'S A BIG FAT POOP AND I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO PUSH HIM IN HIS FACE!</song> Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 04:00, May 23, 2010 (UTC)

*after taking a look at the archives* Holy crap I was right... a lot of people do hate you... Well from another person who is deeply, DEEPLY hated by most people who use the internet for more then Porn... and writeing porn... allow me to give you this word of advice... stay low... ok two words... but who cares. --DragonLizardJareth 01:18, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, Mordillo is mostly hated either as a joke or from people who are mad because he huffed their articles that sucked.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Monday, 02:08, May 24 2010 UTC

Moredildoz is a fag!! He touchded me in da naught-E palaces!! MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:13, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

PLS Judging

I'm sending you this because you signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of doing so, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go then here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles and look at all of the images submitted. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). You, as the judges, have the sole authority to pick losers, winners, and disqualify entries, so please read the PLS rules carefully before judging.

Post your top 5 entries here for all categories except the Best T-shirt Design. For the Best T-shirt Design category just say which ones should be t-shirts and which ones should not be t-shirts.

Hit me up on my talk page if you have any questions and thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! --EMC ^[TALK] 12:55 May 24 2010

Understood

Hi Mordillo! Greeting from anti-war zone. When Voidism was nominated I was enthused and mentioned to my wife and 2 sisters. And they joined and read the article (my wife is a Thai Wikipedian). I hope none of them tried to be too smart and thereby act stupid, rendering a dis-service. I can't figure out about ISP unless its a Cool-cat "registered member". I won't mention next time I get lucky, as Al told me that is unwritten rule. Actually, I have a several groups with over 6000 members - and if I told them about the nom, and 10% acted, then it might have 600 votes (kinda absurd). But they wouldn't be Peer votes, that count. And I agree wholeheartedly. If it makes any difference in the scheme of things then I believe that "Daily News" is a way better article than Voidism. But I also believe that Voidism is good (while Daily News is awesome). I got a lot of help over a long period up to present. Good writers like MrN and Al and others worked it. Anyway, Cheers and hail to thee!--Funnybony    21:01, May 26

IRC

Any time - including right now, if you want. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:23, May 27, 2010 (UTC)

Do I spy me a stowaway?

Back in my day when I was the Admiral-in-Fact of Imperial Colonization, I considered edits by a non-IC member to be a defacto application for membership. Otherwise, I'd consider them a stowaway and make them walk the plank, ARRRRRR!

But considering you outrank me by the Imperial Will of Her Majesty, somehow I think if I tried that I'd be the one who'd end up in the drink trying to avoid the great white sharks. So I'll forget about the walking the plank bit and just welcome you to sign up.

(Seriously, I know there's no official rule than a non-IC member can't edit IC space, but I liked using this as a fun way to encourage people to sign up, and would love to see you join us officially). King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  16:57, May 29, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the invitation. I doubt I will "officially" join as I just don't have the time to write anything at the moment, other than things that really catch my fancy (as with the SF article). I wasn't even able to work on my own stuff for months now I think, so I wouldn't want to commit to anything I can't really grantee to help with. I can only promise to help with articles that I "connect" with. ~ 21:22, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Possible problem

Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but the phrase "security breach" comes to mind. How was an IP able to edit this when I as a registered user can't? I get a no editing tag, but apparently an IP was able to bypass that--or wasn't blocked from editing. Edit is here. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:05, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

I have an add-on on FireFox that allows a page on a wiki to be double-clicked and I get sent to edit page. The IP has the same add-on. It's not a security problem. Also, you can go to the history and just edit the newest revision. Not hard. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 06:11, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Dexter for your comments. I went there to revert the edits, and learned Dexter already did it. So maybe it's not that big of a deal. I justed wanted to be cautious just in case. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:21, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

FYI, you can edit those pages without the add-on by pressing "undo" on someone else's edit and putting their revision back after you say what you need to.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Sunday, 06:37, May 30 2010 UTC

Thank you, although I knew that before you started here. :-) I didn't try any of the methods above because I figured if an admin disabled the edit tag the other ways to edit a page would have been disabled along with it. Obviously, I was wrong, and the "no editing" tag only eliminates one way of editing a page. Perhaps that can be changed so it will really stop people editing--or maybe admins are happy with it the way it is. Whatever and I'm supposed to be getting ready for work about 30 minutes ago so see ya! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:51, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

As those fine gentlemen said, this is not a security feature but rather a Mediawiki tweak that is supposed to discourage people from editing, not really blocking them, and it can be easily bypassed if you have basic understanding of how this place works. But as I said, this wasn't meant as a block so it's not a big deal, typically those pages vanish from the public eye as soon as they're archived and don't get edited. The only way to stop editing is to protect the page, and it's too much of a hassle for this purpose. ~ 21:26, May 30, 2010 (UTC)

Archive your talk page, please.

Or are you trying to become the new User talk:Spang?--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Monday, 04:55, May 31 2010 UTC

Sometimes I think everytime Mordillo logs in he has new messages. Not that I'm helping with that right now. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:00, 31 May 2010 (UTC)

I'm always amused by people who demand to archive talk pages, thereby extend the talk pages. There must be some sort of startup that will prevent this. ~ 19:28, May 31, 2010 (UTC)

I didn't demand, I asked. The request was backed up by a threat of declaring war, of course, but still.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) On Monday, 10:05, May 31 2010 UTC

Thanks

Been listening to some Idan Raichel - great music and fantastic songs. Thanks for the tip off from me and Mrs. Techno who is equally impressed! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:09, May 31, 2010 (UTC)

My pleasure, let me know if you need anymore recommendations, will be happy to provide. ~ 19:26, May 31, 2010 (UTC)

I'm always looking to expand my musical knowledge so bring 'em on, especially if it's similar sort of stuff because we both like Arab culture influenced music. None of that rubbish that Israel had in the Eurovision this year though! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 19:32, May 31, 2010 (UTC)

That was crap indeed, but it's better than being in the last place mind you! Try this one one of my favorite groups. ~ 20:41, May 31, 2010 (UTC)

Every band should have a video where they play in a too short room like it's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and where a girl who might be Alice sings while crawling on the floor. (Video that's 3:32) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  00:59, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

Deserved last place for the UK, I thought, as it was complete and utter toss. Most of the entries sounded much the same really, all insipid MOR ballads, but the UK's managed to be the most insipid and MOR crap of them all - at least Germany's was catchy, even if the singer did have a somewhat peculiar London Cockney combined with Cornish farmer accent. Quite liked Serbia's, however, just because it was the sort of bubblegum dayglo frippery that I always think the Eurovision ought to be. Anyway, if I discuss Eurovision any more I'll be forced to start questioning my own heterosexuality so I'm going to have a listen to whatever's at the end of that link. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:49, June 1, 2010 (UTC)

You have an exceedingly long talk page...

... and this is causing some consternation amongst the community. You see, longer talk pages take longer to load, and people who are trying to read through your talk page or add to it are then put in a position where they have to sift through a significant amount of miscellaneous messages that are totally unrelated to the reason for which they have come to your talk page. This is causing a minor amount of inconvenience for individuals which then turns into irritation and then irrational anger. This then disturbs the delicate balance of the community, which in turn leads to dramatic posts and angry flourishes, which is eating away at the heart of this community. In turn the lack of parody being freely available to the remainder of the world means that they will be forced to rely upon more biased medium, which have particular agendas which include the expansion of territory and the conversion of the world to their ideologies. This will then lead to escalating world tension, which of course will mean that preparations will be made to defend particular ideologies or territory. Due to human fallibility this will of course lead to weapons being used to attack large sections of the populace as a pre-emptive strike, which will then create a desire for revenge, which will be enacted dramatically. Due to the labyrinthine politics of the world this will then lead to ancient allies and enmities being brought to light, and this will extend across the globe and eventually put us in a position where there is likely to be a massive reduction in the inhabitable areas of the world due to the side effects of weaponry being used. This will then destroy the fragile eco-system that sustains life on the Earth and as a result all food sources will be destroyed and life on Earth will no longer exist.

Don't change a thing. Nominally Humane! some time Tuesday, 01:49, Jun 1 2010 UTC

What he said!  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  01 Jun 2010 ~ 05:52 (UTC)

I'm sorry what? ~ 06:09, June 1, 2010 (UTC)