User talk:Matthlock

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The post-bullshit years

Since I'm no longer an active user and never will be again, leaving me a message here is pointless. You can still do that, however, since it does make this talk page look nice, but I don't expect a whole bunch of spam, in case of an eventual return, which like I said before....not going to happen.

Do your thing when your hear the beep. CENSORED

Hey![edit]


 –  User talk:Zana Dark User:Zana Dark Sheenicon.gif (ooh!) (aah!) ...·º•ø®@» LEG CUN GUN DUN 06:05, 26 August 2014

Thank you[edit]

Matthlock, thank you so much for your kind words about Rosie. I realize that you were giving your impressions, but I just wanted to tell you how motivating it feels to receive such comments. Now, I'll have to come back and start writing again! Anton (talk) 12:56, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

You're back[edit]

HEY GIRL HEY! --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:16, 30 January 2015 (UTC)

As are you. We got some serious catching up to do. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 23:32, 30 January 2015 (UTC)
Amen, brother. It's been a while. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:38, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
Do you want to meet up on IRC? Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 21:14, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
Sure. :) --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:22, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
That was fun. What do you think? Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 22:30, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
About which thing? --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:38, 31 January 2015 (UTC)
About our time on IRC today in general. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 00:41, 1 February 2015 (UTC)
It was fun until I discovered that I had no pizza. --Talk to me! Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:46, 1 February 2015 (UTC)
And the solution to the pizza dilemma is yet to be found. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 05:34, 1 February 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for voting for Nothing's syndrome![edit]

Find nothing's syndrome WPA.jpg Spread the word! ~EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(dtf?) 17:40, 25 February 2015 (UTC)

Happy birthday[edit]

Now write something :) Talk Mattsnow 21:08, 29 July 2015 (UTC)

Oh, I think I will....now that you've given me some motivation. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 21:10, 29 July 2015 (UTC)
How the years have flown... Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Oh yes, they have. Good to see you again, Sir Mhaille. Sit down, enjoy a cup of tea. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 22:06, 29 July 2015 (UTC)
Oh, wow. Happy birthday, Matthlock! Anton (talk) 22:22, 29 July 2015 (UTC)
It's not my birthday, Devil Man. It's just my anniversary of being on Uncyclopedia. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 22:24, 29 July 2015 (UTC)
Do all you young uns still add your details to [1] -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

Happy Monkey Time!!![edit]

Hm2015.png

Happy Monkey has been scratching his coconut sized balls for days almost bursting with anticipation of the competition. Remember...the articles are not judged by which is most likely to be a featured article. 30 points are awarded...10 each for originality, creativity and making you laugh. Don't forget the originality and creativity. You can slightly modify the topic if you wish to put it in a different space (unbooks, unreviews, unpoetry etc). If you have any doubt...ask Shabidoo.

Your topic is:

Life as a Metaphor for Sports

Good luck and have fun. You have 48 hours from the moment this was posted. Happy monkey has very itchy and blue coconuts to take care of! RAH RAH RAH!!! ShabiDOO 22:58, 31 July 2015 (UTC)

Like what you did with this, "Life as a Metaphor for Sports" was my article suggestion so you can thank me for that little gem. However when I manage to track down the bastard that put forward the article I ended up with <shakes fist menacingly>... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Wouldn't have guessed it was you. Sorry I didn't know a whole lot about sports. I'm glad you liked it though, Mhaille. You know, I was hoping you would get my topic, Mhaille, but it went to Syndrome instead. I still like what he did with it. May the best man (which will probably be you) win. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 18:38, 5 August 2015 (UTC)
It could still go either way, humour is such a subjective doodah, one person might find your work pantwettingly brilliant whilst another might view it as tired and predictable. Besides I have an incredible track record of never winning these fucking competitions anyway.... ;) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
We shall see. Time will tell. She asked me if she didn't mind marking the last one today. I told her it would be better to wait until tonight...because that adds suspense. It's very likely she will give you a reasonable mark as our tastes are often similar...though...considering she has been appalled by a few things I have written...you never know! Belgians. Zheesh! ShabiDOO 13:43, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

Questions[edit]

I recently got banned from the other Uncyc for adding stuff to featured articles, so I came here. I'm curious: what exactly separates this site from the Wikia one? Does it allow shock images? Are external links not blocked? Are users here allowed to go wild with racist/sexist/homphobic/tryhard humor? Are any articles vastly different? Will mods block you for adding a few things to FAs? etc.--EpicWinner (talk) 23:59, 5 August 2015 (UTC)

The best answer I could give you is that we have a humorless, anally retentive monster named Spike who rules the place with an iron fist. We do allow shock images, so long as it has a humorous purpose. Racist/sexist/homophobic/tryhard humor is okay too, so long as we can tell it's humor. What did you get banned for? I got banned from the old one for telling a visitor this one is where all the excitement happens now as well as editing my user page. Ha! Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 00:01, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
Romartus banned me because I added content to FAs. I didn't delete anything, just added things from the old versions of the pages I thought were worth salvaging. My idea when editing is "Salavge as much as you can and be comprehensive", which may've been the wrong idea in retrospect.--EpicWinner (talk) 00:08, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
I can't tell you if you get banned. It depends on whether the content you add to FAs is funny or not...is what I think is the rule. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 01:01, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

Heya![edit]

Long time no UN message! How's it been? ~[ths] UotM My Farticles. Qaplá'! Gobshite of the Month March 2012 Magician of the Month March 2012 Uncyclopedian of the Month November 2012 02:15, 08/06/2015

Hey, I've been fine. A few things happened while you were gone, some I would rather not bring up, but yeah, I'm okay at this current moment. Little worried when I started up my car this morning though. Hey, do you drive? Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 18:26, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
Yeah, I drive. Hell, my first car actually was destroyed in a raging fire. Here's my current one:
dark_matter_with_the_mattermobile_ii_by_thehappyspaceman01-d6wvg11.jpg
Well, the car is new, but the band isn't. (We broke up last year.) ~[ths] UotM My Farticles. Qaplá'! Gobshite of the Month March 2012 Magician of the Month March 2012 Uncyclopedian of the Month November 2012 00:08, 08/07/2015
U19629? MUN MyOwnBadSelf, The BFDI Fan (talk - stalk - block) 00:11, 7 August 2015 (UTC)
Neat-o. (P.S. What? The parenthesized message is for MOBS.) Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 01:22, 7 August 2015 (UTC)
@Matthlock: U19629 is the car's license plate. MUN MyOwnBadSelf, The BFDI Fan (talk - stalk - block) 02:15, 7 August 2015 (UTC)
Oh yes. Whoopsadaisy. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 02:21, 7 August 2015 (UTC)
That was the temporary plate. Anyway, I may write some more articles for this site. Or not. I mean, I always frequent VFH, that should be enough to keep the people calling me a useless gobshite off my ass. ~[ths] UotM My Farticles. Qaplá'! Gobshite of the Month March 2012 Magician of the Month March 2012 Uncyclopedian of the Month November 2012 22:10, 08/24/2015
Yes, indeed, I am sure that will do. Plus, the tyrannical Frosty is becoming more and more inactive as we speak. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 22:51, 24 August 2015 (UTC)

SECOND!!![edit]

HAPPY MONKEY 2ND.png

The images of the fish and chips and of the parole officer will haunt me forever! Super close call. Who was 2nd and who was third...it was a simple matter of the personal taste of four people. A super worthy article. I hope next year you do better or I will put you in my black book...and once you are inside there...then metaphysical reality goes absolute bonkers. Thanks for participating! ShabiDOO 20:03, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

I'd like to thank the eye giver for giving me two good eyes with which to compose, edit and look at this article. I'd also like to thank RAHB and Zombiebaron for not participating, because that really gave me a big boost to win. Not that winning is everything. How much fun you have writing is what counts. Although, this - THIS - does make me feel good. Excuse me while I have some second place sex with my girlfriend. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 21:24, 6 August 2015 (UTC)

Well done Matthlock! 04:39, 7 August 2015 (UTC)

Thank you, Fegelein. And by the way, I still stand by my anti-deer sentiment. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 18:27, 7 August 2015 (UTC)

Rush[edit]

Please help me with the Rush (band) article. You had some stuff about binge-listening to their first four albums; would it be possible to do the rest?--EpicWinner (talk) 21:02, 24 August 2015 (UTC)

Yes, it could be possible. I've listened to most of their albums by now. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 23:10, 24 August 2015 (UTC)
When will you have time to work on it?--EpicWinner (talk) 22:49, 25 August 2015 (UTC)

Rush (again)[edit]

Sorry to keep bugging you, but when do you think you can add the rest of Rush's albums to this article?--EpicWinner (talk) 00:17, 3 September 2015 (UTC)

I'll get around to it eventually. I'm just a little busy right now. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 21:20, 3 September 2015 (UTC)

Rush, again again[edit]

C'mon man, when are you going to help me with this article?--EpicWinner (talk) 00:47, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

Chat[edit]

Would it be possible for us to meet in the chatroom? I have a few questions I've been waiting to ask.--Abacab (talk) 00:04, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

Sure thing, Monsieur. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 00:05, 6 March 2016 (UTC)
By chatroom, do you mean IRC? Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 00:06, 6 March 2016 (UTC)
Yeah, IRC.--Abacab (talk) 00:28, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

Rush (same old stuff)[edit]

I added the musicians that played in Rush's career. -- MagicBus Can you ride my Magic Bus? 00:52, 10 March 2016 (UTC)

That's good to hear. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 00:53, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
I just realized that who weren't the one who started the page. My bad. -- MagicBus Can you ride my Magic Bus? 00:54, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
No problem. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Matthlock (talk • contribs)
You ever heard of the band Soft Machine? -- MagicBus Can you ride my Magic Bus? 00:57, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
I've heard of them, but haven't listened to them. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 00:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
I have one of their albums, their first one. That is why I'm starting an article about them. -- MagicBus Can you ride my Magic Bus? 01:01, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
Well, it's good to have inspiration. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 01:02, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
Yup. -- MagicBus Can you ride my Magic Bus? 01:05, 10 March 2016 (UTC)

Remember when people used to be active at least once a year?[edit]

Kevin Spacey and Brad Pit in the same movie lol

Super awesome happy "Seven deadly sins" competition where Shabidoo will win and everyone else colapses into suicidal depression fun week!!! SIGN UP!!! ShabiDOO 14:28, 15 May 2016 (UTC)

Did I win? -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)


yes. By a default of ten points. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 16:40, 3 August 2016 (UTC)
Your prize is a giant bowling ball filled with baby-pandabear-blood. I think you know what to do with it. ShabiDOO 22:47, 3 August 2016 (UTC)

Confirm the worm[edit]

After a lovely wait of 22 weeks...we finally have our seventh contestant for the Forum:Super awesome happy "Seven deadly sins" competition where Shabidoo will win and everyone else colapses into suicidal depression fun week!!! competition. That being said...we need all seven contestants so please confirm you'll participate. I'm thinking we can start next Monday. Just confirm here and then we can enjoy four beautiful years of non-controversial American politics. ShabiDOO 12:23, 9 November 2016 (UTC)

Holy dung heap, I forgot all about that. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 08:37, 10 November 2016 (UTC)
The topic of the competition has changed to "cardinal sub-directions" and the new page is here. Your topic is North-North-West . You can write absolutely anything you like as long as "North-North-West" appears in the title. We start on Monday Dec 5th at 13.00 UTC (7AM New York Time) and it lasts for two weeks. Rood wuck! ShabiDOO 16:37, 3 December 2016 (UTC)

You can use span tags to change the font size.[edit]

Hi, I saw you trying to edit your user page, changing tags. If you want to change the font size, you can use <span style="font-size:xx%">text here</span>, which is probably easier and is a recommended style. Just a piece of advice for you.--The Pioneer (A.K.A. かいたくしゃ) 10:11, 5 July 2018 (UTC)

Thank you for the info, kind sir. Are you new here? I haven't seen you around. Welcome to the machine.jpg MATTHLOCK 05:56, 6 July 2018 (UTC)
Kind of. I'm not so active here on English Uncyclopedia.--The Pioneer (A.K.A. かいたくしゃ) 06:01, 6 July 2018 (UTC)

Hi[edit]

I would like to thank you for expanding User:Matthlock/Mudhoney. This article is very cool as it is, and I would like to move it to mainspace and maybe improve it a little bit after. Do you object? I was working on improving the whole Grunge categoty, and I think this article could be very useful. Thanks! ~ Kakun · talk 03:30, 22 July 2018 (UTC)