User talk:Manticore/Archive 5
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Frist Psot[edit source]
- P --Uberfuzzy 01:58, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
lol(spelling|mediawiki) — Sir Manticore 
01:59, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
My robot[edit source]
Pardon, I don't know english, only PC Translator. My Bot stopped functioning. User-config.py=
usernames['uncyclopedia']['cs'] = u'Ervinpospisil'
mylang = 'cs'
family = 'uncyclopedia'
maxthrottle = 1
minthrottle = 1
console_encoding = 'cp852'
always_log = True
put_throttle = 2
uncyclopedia_family.py=
- -*- coding: utf-8 -*-
import family
- The Uncyclopaedia family, a satirical set of encyclopaedia wikis.
class Family(family.Family):
def __init__(self):
family.Family.__init__(self)
self.name = 'uncyclopedia'
self.langs = {
'cs': 'necyklopedie.wikia.com',
...
It is OK? --
ERROR:SaxParseBug caused error <unknown>... Ervinpospisil 18:33, 4 October 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks. Is it almost ok. Next problem - loggin. http://necyklopedie.wikia.com/wiki/Soubor:Pokus.jpg
- My bot withal attempt - Wikipedia ok. - [1]
- --Ervinpospisil 09:21, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
- Please, could you send me your complete "Python Wikipedia Robot Framework" which U are using now? (I can´t speak english very well, but I hope you´ll get me). (ervin.pospisil@seznam.cz) --Ervinpospisil 19:54, 8 October 2008 (UTC)
Halloo. http://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Pywikipedia is it for me funny, uncannily. You are The Miser? --Ervinpospisil 23:02, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
MantiBot[edit source]
Hi. Is it possible to flag your "MantiBot" on "Spademanns Leksikon" as a robot? --DJ Platon 16:20, 6 October 2008 (UTC)
signpost[edit source]
any chance mantibot can deliver latest issue? 14:11, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: October 10th 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!
October 9th, 2008 • Twenty-First Issue • Bursting with Crunchy Goodness!
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Uncyclopedia Stock Plummets  Uncyclopedia stockholders are in a state of panic after shares of Uncyclomedia fell over 60% this week amid fears of a writing recession. "I just can't gamble on a rebound," said one investor as he carefully climbed out onto his window ledge overlooking Wall Street, perhaps seeking some fresh air. "With the current economic and comedic climate, and rumors of the destruction of the website, it looks like Uncyc Incorporated is about to fold." Other investors are slightly more optimistic. We ran into a smartly dressed woman in the Uncyc break room and were intrigued as to why a female would ever have enough confidence in the wiki to invest the large sum of one dollar bills she was counting. It turned out that she was a stripper, but we did eventually find someone who still had faith in the company. "There's so much more to the Uncyclopedia Empire than just the humor wiki," said confident money-man Chet Hardluck. "There's the kitten factory, the escort service, the games & sports division...and don't forget the world's largest boron-smelting plant!" When it was pointed out that these claims are in fact bollocks (except for the boron plant), Hardluck joined the queue of businessmen waiting their turn to get some frsh air on the suddenly popular ledge. The fate of the Uncyclopedia corporation remained unclear at press time. Some say that if Uncyc stock plummets through enough negative numbers, the stock will reset itself at zero, resulting in huge negative negative profits for those who bought the stock whilst it was negative. Uncyclopedia announces invasion of YouTube The first upload began a series of incursions onto YouTube by all types of Uncyclopedians. Some made sense, such as article narrations and UnTunes. Some were questionable, such as the gangsta rap video by the usually timid Sycamore. But nearly 99% of all material in the 'Uncyclopedia' category is patent nonsense, such as a visualization of AAAAAAA!, faceoffs between George Bush & Kanye West and Steve Ballmer & various other injokes, and a 'don't blink contest' featuring Gert5 staring into a camera for nine hours. |
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— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:43, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
Thanks[edit source]
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Sycamore has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
For being cool — Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:46, 11 October 2008 (UTC)
you dick![edit source]
You are such a bitch. first you abuse your fucking power on wikia and now you do the same on the IRC. just cos you got banned on #mortalkombat cos you spam and are a fucking retatrd does not mean you should go to freenode bully them into redirecting the channel and giving you all the danm power! FUCK YOU MANTICORE! FUCK YOU!!! -- 65.11.42.60 19:45, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
- And fuck you too, asshole IP.
Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi 
Talk! 19:46, 14 October 2008 (UTC)
- And fuck you more, asshole user. -- 65.11.149.86 20:12, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
- But I wanted mantiDICK to respond. Cos he is just so much of a fucking basterd / whore / gay home thing / bitch / dick. -- 65.11.149.86 20:12, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
- Oh and I would not be a danm IP if Mantwhore did not ban me for hate resaons. -- 65.11.149.86 20:12, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
- But I wanted mantiDICK to respond. Cos he is just so much of a fucking basterd / whore / gay home thing / bitch / dick. -- 65.11.149.86 20:12, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
- And fuck you more, asshole user. -- 65.11.149.86 20:12, 17 October 2008 (UTC)
Are you still really mad and angry about me? Cos you have banned me on osme wikis that all i have done has put a userpage on... well anyway? you wanna start over? it fine if you say no -- patx
UnSignpost: 21 October 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!
October 16th, 2008 • Twenty-Second Issue • Now with 40% more Batman!
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Uncyc Users throw Support Behind Joe Plumber  Uncyclopedians today officially declared their undying allegience to Joe Plumber, a newcomer in the upcoming U.S. presidential election. Plumber was thrust into the spotlight last night at the second of many dreadfully boring presidential debates between those two or more candidates currently jockeying for the office. His name was mentioned no less than twenty-four dozen times by the candidates, with each claiming that Joe sided with him on issues such as healthcare, tax increases, and the 'Canada Problem'. One candidate even went so far as to claim that he and Plumber were 'buddies', and that Plumber installed a new bathtub in his palatial presidential candidate mansion last July. Several prominent Uncyclopedians spoke out in vehement support of Plumber, citing his many qualifications to be the leader of the free world. "He's a maverick in the plumbing industry," said staunch pro-Plumberer Colin "All your base" Heaney. "He also has a plan to live the American Dream, through the infinite wisdom of buying his own plumbing company. America needs dreamers, Gerry." Despite being asked to stop commenting, Heaney went on to say that Plumber "cleans people's pipes on a regular basis." Other supporters of Joe Plumber's campaign and platform included inanimate objects such as TheLedBalloon. "The most important thing to know about Joe Plumber is that he is AMERICAN, in bold italics underlined and all caps, just like that." When asked to give another example of how patriotic both he and Plumber are, Mr. Balloon replied, "Just picture him standing in front of a flag with the Star Spangled Banner playing in the background, and you'll know why I support his presidency." Current polls show Plumber trailing in the presidential race, with an estimated zero percent of all voters. His backers are trying to spread the word about Joe's tax relief plan, his rugged good looks, and his skill with a pair of slip-nose pliers. Uncylopedia Issues Food Stamps Due to the recent downturn in the economy, Uncyclopedia officials have issued hundreds of food stamps to users who have no means of feeding themselves. These users might be out of a job or have no arms. In any case, these food stamps are to be given out on alternate Thursdays, except for odd-numbered months, months ending in 'y' or 'r', and April. They will be available at the Uncyclopedia Meat Depot, the boron smelting plant, or by calling the new food stamps hotline. These food stamps will be valid for purchasing a wide variety of nutritious and delicious items from the Uncyclopedia Farmer's Market and Livestock Emporium. Included are items such as pre-packed huffable kittens, gummi grues, and AAAAAAA! cookies.
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--Sycamore (Talk) 09:43, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
Awww![edit source]
Now I'll never get to the top of the most linked page. 
13:52, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- But there's a link on this page now. You see what I'm getting at? You need to welcome everybody... again. — Sir Manticore 13:54, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- Again!? Fuck that. My fingernail grinds into the mouse every time I welcome someone. Kind of like grindin' my teeth when forced to say hello. Weeeee!!!!
13:56, 26 October 2008 (UTC)
- Again!? Fuck that. My fingernail grinds into the mouse every time I welcome someone. Kind of like grindin' my teeth when forced to say hello. Weeeee!!!!
Any chance?[edit source]
OK, so URL bothers and that aside, any chance of getting Mantibot to do a bit of paperboy work? Just thought I'd ask as the prospect of hand-delivering them unaccountably fails to appeal to me... --UU - natter 
14:37, Nov 3
- I think you mean, "configuration files in need of changing aside." ;) But even if I could be arsed doing that the software is all on my laptop which is being repaired. Sorry. I heard Jews are used to manual labour though. :> — Sir Manticore 14:40, 3 November 2008 (UTC)
Random links[edit source]
Remember that page you huffed? I couldn't work on it for a while, I had no time. You wanna move it to my Userspace? I don't know how. Thanks man. --GDawg816 18:53, 3 November 2008 (UTC)
- Manticore's brain is on vacation right now on its native island of Stupid. Your page can be found here. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:08 Nov 05, 2008
UnSignpost: 3-ish November 2008[edit source]
I love it when the news comes together
November 3rd-ish, 2008 • Twenty-Third Issue • Better than things that aren't as good!
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Address Change: Return To Sender? If you are one of those people, here's a brief summary of the incident:
If you aren't one of those people, here's an even briefer summary:
More on this ongoing situation as we get it. Probably. Glorious return to form for MrN! Fellow poopsmith and genial man-about-town UU said of the momentous occasion: "you what? MrN? Oh yeah, him. Good bloke. Knows his underwear". Then he scratched his nose reflectively and wandered off. MrN himself was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press/we couldn't be bothered to interview him (delete as you think applicable), but the UnSignpost fondly imagines he would have smiled enigmatically, raised an eyebrow quizzically, nodded appreciatively, and said "PANTS!" predictably. The pants themselves were also unavailable for comment. |
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Shoved through the letterbox for the one and only time by UU - natter 11:33, Nov 6
UnSignpost: 13th November 2008[edit source]
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
November 13th, 2008 • Issue 24 • So close to journalism you'll be hard pushed to know the difference!
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Uncyclopedian does something vaguely noteworthy in "real life" Mickey has so far failed to live up to Uncyclopedia's proudest traditions, by actually being quite good at the game. Indeed, at the time of writing, he'd won several games, including what he modestly described as "an awesome numbers game, beating Carol". He also shamelessly mentioned his connection to the site in a recent episode, leading to quite literally no extra edits to the Countdown article - still, thanks for the plug, Mick! Having spent time in the company of such notable international icons as Des O'Connor (no, we don't have a page on him, so there's no link), Paul Zenon (nope, nothing on him either) and Suzy Dent (spotting a pattern here, non-UK readers?) Mickey is now Uncyclopedia's most prominent celebrity, and it's surely only a matter of time before he appears on Strictly Come Dancing or Celebrity Big Brother, and has a lurid kiss-and-tell exposé in Heat Magazine. Various "...of the month" award candidates - November's in-depth analysis Uncyclopedian of the Month: Controversial nominees abound here, as serial ban collector Cajek goes head-to-head with Wikia corporate mouthpiece Sannse. The hyperactive one with the light blue sig is in the lead at present. But! As with certain other popular recent votes, there is a third candidate inexplicably attracting little attention - Dexter111344, a site maintenance and VFD stalwart. Who will win? Only you can decide (and all the other people who vote, obviously). Noob of the Month: No-one. Yet. Find a noob doing something vaguely decent and nominate them please! Otherwise the UnSignpost may just have to bring back the ultimate dead horse for yet more flogging and nom Rcmurphy again. Useless Gobshite of the Month: Kip the Dip is out on his own for this one so far. Having proved an exemplary gobshite for months on end, despite being cruelly denied the recognition of this award, the UnSignpost feels that his time is now, and is abandoning all pretence at unbiased journalism: VOTE KIP FOR UGotM! |
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MrN9001 12:47, 13 November 2008 (UTC)
QDB[edit source]
The quotes that have me in them seem to keep disappearing from the QDB a couple of days or so after they get approved. Know anything about that? Ж Cake-eating Cave Monkey or was it a giant monster or a robot? 18:45, 14 November 2008 (UTC)
- I delete non-Uncyc related quotes, as yours often are. I'm sure others do the same. — Sir Manticore 03:15, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
- I don't really buy that answer, honestly. There's several quotes on there that are just as unrelated (with lower scores to boot) that have yet to be deleted. Further, from the admins I've talked to, I haven't heard that they often delete quotes which have already been approved for submission. Ж Cake-eating Cave Monkey or was it a giant monster or a robot? 07:23, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
- They all had positive scores when deleted, and none of the other admins found them so devoid of humour as to delete them. Evidently, at least one admin found it good enough to approve. Heck, most admins even leave alone severely low-scored quotes. Ж Cake-eating Cave Monkey or was it a giant monster or a robot? 18:16, 15 November 2008 (UTC)
- As another person with a quote that was apparently deleted, I'd like to add that most quotes from #uncyclopedia aren't Uncyc-related because most of #uncyclopedia isn't Uncyc-related.
20:26, 16 November 2008 (UTC)
- As another person with a quote that was apparently deleted, I'd like to add that most quotes from #uncyclopedia aren't Uncyc-related because most of #uncyclopedia isn't Uncyc-related.
UnSignpost: 20th November2008[edit source]
The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!
November 20th, 2008 • #100/4 • Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.
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UnSignpost Stumbles past 6 month milestone In true UnSignpost fashion, the editors noticed this about 2 weeks late - the Signpost having been so gloriously conceived (and never was a word more aptly suited to this juvenile-as-all-get-out publication) by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek back in early May. The first issue rolled off the presses on May 8th, bringing you such earth-shattering news as "Rcmurphy nommed for Noob of the Month again" and "Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed", as well as establishing Signpost tradition with "Spacefiller of the week" (something about Grand Theft Auto). The editor's office here at USP should probably have had a revolving door installed, having been occupied at various times since Cajek and Skull abandoned it by THEDUDEMAN, Gerrycheevers, Heerenveen and some other numpty - although this is small change compared to the number of delivery bots and boys that have thrust the latest issue, still warm, through your letter flaps. Over the months, many other contributors have helped to keep the UnSignpost in its deserved position of "only weekly-ish newspaper on the wiki" - possibly by being so lame that no-one wanted to bother doing another one. And, having brought you such shattering exclusives as "Wookiepedia Too Cool For Cajek", "Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce" and "RC takes home NotM", the UnSignpost shows no sign of speeding up. Maybe one day, the unstoppable forces of apathy will finally overcome those who still labour under the impression that people actually care about seeing block log entries and biopics arrive on their talk page weekly, and the UnSignpost will grind to a halt. But until then, it will continue to bring you all the old news you've already seen somewhere else, whether you like it or not! UnSportsPost
In response to quite literally some demand, your ever-topical, finger-on-the-pulse UnSignpost brings you all the latest sports news that's unfit to print!
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MrN9001 20:43, 20 November 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: 27th November2008[edit source]
Now with 20% more ninjas!
November 27th • Issue 26 • The newspaper it's tough to swat flies with
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Uncyc shall go to the Ball! To whet the appetite, let's take a look at some of the cream of last year's competition:
Yup, standards are that high, or low, depending on your point of view, sense of humour, religion, shoe size and taste in hats. So jump to it! If you can make the judges laugh even as they vomit up their own entrails, you could be in with a chance of winning the glorious title "Aristocrat en Regalia", as well as the undying jealousy of the other entrants you so satisfyingly routed. Or you might lose. Asked for quotes, organiser RAHB quipped "I'll probably get on it sometime tonight, if not tomorrow", while official judging type Modusoperandi added "my memoires are riddled with mind expanding shit". {{username}} claims millionth victim "It was there, in front of me, an accusation that I was teh gheyz", the hapless victim told us exclusively. "Such hard-hitting slander had to be addressed, and addressed immediately, so I clicked the edit button, and launched into a passionate and vitriolic defence of my unquestionable heterosexuality post-haste!" Ironically, it was the length of this diatribe that finally revealed the subterfuge. "It took me some time to compose a suitable riposte, listing at length my many dalliances with members of the opposite sex, my subscription to Playboy and my utter distaste for the movie Brokeback Mountain - in fact it took so long that I was logged out from my account" said the sap. "So when I hit the preview button to behold my comeback in all its savage majesty, what should catch my eye but the <insert name here> message that betrays {{username}} abuse? I felt so embarrassed, the only logical course of action I could take was to sell my story to a newspaper with a global readership - you did say you'd pay me for this, right?" Shortly after this point, the interview was discontinued due to a disagreement between interviewer and interviewee. Asked for a final quote, we were told "fuck {{username}}, and fuck you too!" - a comment that speaks volumes about the suffering this terrible template is capable of inflicting on the unwary. {{username}} was unavailable for comment, and remains at large, ready to strike again. |
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MrN9001 21:02, 27 November 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: 4th December 2008 (yea, we know it's late)[edit source]
The Newspaper With Words n' Shit!
December 4th • Issue 27 • Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth
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Sycamore: How does he do it? An UnSignpost Special Investigation  But who is this masked Celt? Well, since changing identity from MMACKNIGHT in March 2008, he's racked up an impressive 18,000 edits (or he will have by the time this paper is actually delivered - it's hanging at 17.940-odd at the time of typing). Many of these edits have been thanklessly categorising pages, voting for deletion, reverting and ban patrolling - the kind of soul-crushing work, in other words, that would sap the will to live of the average individual, but not our Syc. His efforts have not gone un-noticed. Indeed, he's been re-nommed for Uncuclopedian of the Month, even though he's already won the award. And despite the understandable reluctance of the non-existent cabal to swell their non-existent ranks, there is a small but significant groundswell of opinion gathering that this should be followed by the bestowing of a Banhammer on the cheery Caledonian. All of this is interesting, of course, and handily fills up column inches in this week's issue, but it doesn't answer the burning question: how does he do it?  Warning: Your safety-conscious UnSignpost would like to point out that Irn Bru is only known to have this beneficial effect on Scots. Those from less tartan countries would be advised to steer well clear - don't try this at home, kids! From the Cabal's desk  |
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MrN9001 19:04, 5 December 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: 11th December[edit source]
The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!
December 11th • Issue 28 • The truth, the whole truth, and nothing
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Colin breaks #uncyclopedia
At approximately 7:01 EST, Colin "All your base" Heaney officially fucked everything up yet again. IRC was engaged in what started out as a naturally occurring, all-caps LOL train. However, being the little faggot that he is, Colin decided to join in, effectively making it not funny anymore. This reporter, being an expert witness in cases of dipshittery, quickly came to the conclusion that "Colin makes everything suck." However, Uncyclopedia's resident shitstain did not stop there. He proceeded to incite bizarre and violent urges within members of IRC, causing them to commit unspeakable acts. This reporter, under Colin's influence, killed both of his parents; deadpidgeon and MrN9000 both became homosexuals as a result. Colin himself was then found to have been responsible for every case of unpleasantness throughout history: the Holocaust, 9/11, and abortion. As other users unknowingly joined the channel-turned-warzone, they too fell victim to Colin's faggotry. Users were eventually transforming into furries and fucking each other with "furry Disney dicks" just before this reporter relocated to a safer distance. Needless to say, there is now sufficient evidence that everything stupid and gay and unfunny is, in fact, Colin's fault. Chicks, man. Hot Chicks. Just the words start your heart racing and your mumble mumble. Hot chicks have long failed to receive the ample, under-wire support they deserve here on Uncyc, and if it were not for one, soft-drink based, visionary noob, the femmes fatales of Uncyc would still be a saggy, wrinkly mess. Now all the babes, sexy ladies, foxy chicks, MILFs, and, yes, even magical anime girls, rest in the palm of your hand, throbbing with their new-found intellectual networking - WikiProject Hot Chicks. When asked how the aforementioned n00b came up with such a brilliant idea, he responded: "I don't know what UnSignpost is, my motivation for starting U[N]:WP Hot Chicks was because I thought it was rather humorous, I would like to be adopted, and in Soviet Russia, all your base are belong to YOU !!" (Doctapeppaman was promptly given a stern spanking for such irresponsible use of memes). The project has already succeeded in tagging several sexy talk-pages with the WikiProject Hot Chicks seal, thereby rating them on a random and baseless scale from A- to D-Cup, and the project will most likely be a success, considering the high ratio of users to perverts present on the site. Perhaps, one day, the project will achieve its primary goal - making every article without enough pictures of scantily-clad women into an article about cheesecake. |
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MrN9001 21:07, 11 December 2008 (UTC)
Happy Hanukkah[edit source]
if you're not Jewish, party anyway
Happy Hanukkah from Rabbi Techno
NOW START DRINKING
Merry Christmas[edit source]
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Bonner would like to wish you
a Merry Christgame |
A FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTOFUS![edit source]
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Happy Festivus, from The Led Balloon and Jerry Stiller. Put up your Festivus Pole, air your grievances, and prepare for the feats of strength, for festivus cannot continue until I am pinned! Oh, and merry Christmas if you're into that sort of thing. |
| It's a Festivus miracle! |
- P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon 
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:20, Dec 21
Happy day of celebration or not![edit source]
I want to wish all my friends on Uncyclopedia a good whatever you may or may not celebrate! You know you all love me! – Preceding unsigned comment added by YourFriend (talk • contribs)
Here's Your Christmas Tree[edit source]
----Pleb- Sawblade5 [coolest link ever] ( yell | FAQ | I did this ) 09:14, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
Horrible night of celebration by force[edit source]
Fuck Christmahaunika! Fuck Festihaunika!
Have a Good Whatever!
Santa is watching you shower, <insert name here>
UnSignpost 1st January 2009[edit source]
Better sign it.
January 1st, 2009 • Issue 29 • The first newspaper to wish you a Happy Christmas 2009!
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The UnSignpost starts 2009 as it ended 2008: Late Several readers were probably available for comment, but we didn't ask them anything and blatantly made one up: "it wouldn't be the UnSignpost if it arrived on time", Orian57 might have said, if we'd asked him. The Patronising New Year EditorialTM From this we can infer that Andy Dufresne in The Shawshank Redemption didn't have a clue what he was on about - hope is a ridiculous thing, and should be crushed as soon as possible. However, there is still the possibility, however remote, that something good might happen. Active users might start writing more good articles again. VFH might start to flow like it used to. Old users may return, invigorated, to bestow upon us fresh fruits of their imaginations. New users may arrive to take up the baton, and stride boldly forward, blessing us with a wealth of new articles that inject fresh purpose and impetus to the site. Don't look like that - it might happen. Well, monkeys might also fly out of your butt. Depends if teleportation technology ever becomes viable, widely available, and small enough to secure in such a narrow location. Face it, we haven't a clue what this year holds for us yet, folks, all we can do is try and make it the best we can by writing more articles, and helping new users out, and see where we go from there. This is your UnSignpost, patronising the fuck out of you. Happy New Year! Kevin Rudd says Uncyclopedia is the worst |
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MrN9001 00:58, 3 January 2009 (UTC)