User talk:ENeGMA/Archive 1

THIS AN ARCHIVE. EDITING IT WILL EARN YOU MY ETERNAL HATE AND DERISION. THAT IS ALL.

Thanks for your comment about the dog picture. I was a Baha'i for a while, maybe the humor is too inside? -- Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:52, 8 April 2006 (UTC)

Welcome!

Hello, ENeGMA, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:ENeGMA/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome! -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 14:25, 9 June 2006 (UTC) & Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Custom review

May I ask you a little favour? By your articles, I may suspect that you have sense of humor somewhat compatible to mine, so I want you to review two of my entries that I found VFHable, at least in potential. Maybe you already have bumped into them at Pee Review or Village Dump - in this case, you can just ignore this call. If you really like any of them, I ask you a little hand to make them worth a seal of approval, alright? There they are:

• Muhammad and Jesus pissing contest
• Chesty Morgan

Thanks! herr doktor needsAbeam  [scream!] 15:41, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

• I appreciate your feedback. I'll tell you a little history if you don't matter. I entered Uncyc just to improve my English writing skills - I never travelled to an English-speaking country in my whole life (blame the beer that doesn't let my bank account in peace, I'm very far from being anti-Anglo). This way, it's very, very fascinating for me finding myself being funny in Milton's language. In turn, I can be a real neurotic regarding other users approval of my writings. And now I am also a lost case Uncyc addict ("Recent Changes" rings a bell?). Let's hope this little language and cultural barrier of mine don't keep me out of doing real good stuff. Someday.

You got my votes of friendship. herr doktor needsAbeam  [scream!] 01:04, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

	NeedABrain has awarded you a mayonnaise jar!
	For you got the brains. In case of unwanted death, just have your brain tucked in and fill it with serum, formol or mint liqueur. If you can't wait, go tease a lion.

Honestly, I had no idea English wasn't a first tongue. Your usage seems to just fine. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 01:05, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

Okay, my favourite grumpy old man, let's bother you a little more. Your vote against one of my articles in VFH was suceeded by a somewhat harsh opinion. I don't think I can change your mind on the subject, but I still want to hear you being more precise in the 2.0 Pee Review, if you don't mind. -- herr doktor needsAbeam  [scream!] 00:36, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

• Thanks! -- herr doktor needsAbeam  [scream!] 00:47, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Cheers for your WOTM vote

Mrs. Fundlebuggy sends you a big pie and a warm welcome! Thanks for being so nice as to vote for my son. Normally people just kick him in the shin and fill him with balloons. I know I do.

Thanks for the vote - it's appreciated. --Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy (Bleat) 17:59, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

New Age Psychology

Since you don't have a clear enough place to put this, I'm dumping it here.

Featured Article: New Age Psychology

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

~ sin($) ^tan(€) 08:24, 21 July 2006 (UTC)

Yah! Featured article......everybody dance now... -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

thanks

thank you for improving UnNews:North Korea invents the wheel, citizens rejoice --Bladetip 03:49, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

No problem. I saw the title and started laughing immediately. It's funny because it's basically true. I just cleaned it up a bit. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 13:17, 1 October 2006 (UTC)

Congratulations

On another featured article. Is that enough to get you into the Hall of Shame yet? :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

I already feel like I'm in it. I've felt like that for a long time. This has nothing to do with my articles, I've just always felt like I was in the Hall of Shame. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 20:21, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

My pic made it into a featured Article!Lo, how those hapless Iraqi's are probably not with us...</sympathy> -- Sir Severian (Sprich mit mir!) 12:12, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

They'll get over it. Probably. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 20:21, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

Thankyoo

Thank you very much for your vote! But I also give you another shuriken ninjastar for giving such friggin good unnews material to work off...

Yippy ki yay!

NeoZidane CUNT Headbutt extraordinaire ______соединяйтесь! 19:45, 3 October 2006 (UTC)

Your sig is pretty alright

I was just viewing you signature on a page, and while reading fast I read "Enema". I was like "wait...we have a user named enema? AWESOME!". Then I looked back and saw that it was just looking that way cause you're G is almost white (its pale yellow). So, I'm just gonna point it out to you before someone feels like vandalizing your userpage with inforamation about FREE ENEMAS. Cheers, --The Zombiebaron 14:35, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

What's really, really funny about this is, I stole the code for my sig from you, almost exactly. But yeah, I would have thought more people would have noticed. I guess none pays attention to me :( Except you.  :) --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 23:25, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

If it makes you feel any better, I notice just about everything. I just don't bother to shout about it. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 23:32, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

Im flattered Enema. --The Zombiebaron 00:36, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

F@H

I wasn't sure if you ever received one of these. 22:44, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

I need to turn it back on again. I haven't been doing it for a while. Shame on me. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 23:02, 7 October 2006 (UTC)

Sorry

Just let me blank your page, and let someone else revert it, I just want to see who I get around to, I'm just having a game, I don't mean to do it, sorry anyway -- Pc = cool 03:16, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

National Health Service

Thanks for the comment on pee review, I've re-wrote the first two sections and i'm working on the others:National Health Service--Winstanley1 12:23, 11 November 2006 (UTC)

Cookie

Hindleyite has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Keep up the good work for FFW! We do appreciate the help, you know. -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 17:18, 18 November 2006 (UTC)

*champagne*

Total Featured Asshole Server 2006! - David Gerard 08:38, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

Cheers! Thank you again for all your work cleaning up and adding to the article. It really helped it. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 09:18, 27 November 2006 (UTC)

Thanks

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

I appreciate your vote, ENeGMA. I really do try to make this wiki a better place, and appreciate it when my work is recognized. Thank you.--<<>> 01:26, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

VFWM

No problem, I wouldn't vote for you if you didn't deserve it. Thanks for the crappy template. BTW, I'm Joshfurman from the site formerly known as Protest Warrior, you showed Uncyclopedia to me. Prolix 10:20, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

That's cool. Any idea what actually happened to PW? Nobody seems to know. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 14:48, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

Thank You

Thanks for your kind words about my 'stupid kid drowns in pond' news story. I was reading that article you mentioned in my onion book recently. When I was reading your comment, I was like, no way! But not really. Anyway, thanks.

It's being nominated for a VFH.. or a PTA.. BLT or something. --Danny Himself 23:57, 10 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks

Braydie has awarded you some sweets! For voting for HowTo:Cheat At Scrabble

Thanks for the vote :)--—Braydie 17:12, 13 December 2006 (UTC)

Xmas

Premier Tom Mayfair does not share in your pagan ways. Nor does he celebrate capitalist retail. He hopes that you convert to Communism before it's too late. Do the right thing. Пролетарии всех стран, соединяйтесь!

|

22:22, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

	NeedABrain is an atheist heathen and doesn't give a damn about Christmas
	By the way, he's hipocrite civilized enough to understand your primitive superstitions. So Merry Christmas, whatever you find about it.

herr doktor needsAbeam  [scream!] 19:25, 15 December 2006 (UTC)

Bradaphraser was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user is completely thoughtless, doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and therefore DEMANDS you have yourself a Merry little Christmas... NOW! Failure to comply with result in disciplinary action up to and including excommunication from the Capitalist Church

May you focus on your successes and forget your failures here at the end of the year. Never forget how we all improve one another's lives. Season's Greetings.--<<>> 17:35, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks Brad, NeedABrain, Tom. It's good to everyone in a holiday spirit. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 17:54, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Nothing says [[Insert religious or pagan holiday of your choice]] like getting drunk with a moose. So this year, why not savour a treasured Canadian tradition with a bottle of hooch, horns, hooves, and hypothermia? The drinks are on me. ~ Todd

--Sir Todd GUN WotM MI UotM NotM MDA VFH AotM Bur. AlBur. CM NS PC (talk) 16:02, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Happy Holidays* from the Holiday Turtle! May all of your Holiday wishes come true! (*Designated holidays may include, but are not limited to: Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, and the Winter Solstice)

Looks like it'll be dry this year - maybe some ice, but that doesn't count.   t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 23:12, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Braydie was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

:D --—Braydie 23:25, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

ḤáρÞў ĤðḸǐḍαȳζ from §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ! You, <insert name here>, have been randomly selected from Squiggle's holiday list of people to send cards to for an extra special Holiday Card! He's too lazy to send them all. Anyway, enjoy this blatant overuse of {{USERNAME}} and template spammage!

-- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 00:25, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Hindleyite was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and realised they had purposefully forgotten about you. This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism, and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

Codespammer alert! I mean, erm, Merry Commercial Conformity Period (commonly known as Christmas). -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 13:56, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:37, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

PLS

Hey ENe Ma. Wanna judge for the next PLS? This limited-time offer is only available if you act now! Supplies are running out! Well, too late. It's already over. (In all seriousness, though, if you'd like to judge, lemme know on my talk page. If not, lemme know on my talk page. Thanks!  :) )--<<>> 18:40, 16 December 2006 (UTC)

Congratulations!

You are the recipient of the Mhaille Award For Excellence for the month of December 2006. The award is in recognition of those individuals that *I* feel have contributed to making Uncyclopedia a better place, whether through writing or image production or just "what they do around the place."

Please feel free to display this award in a prominent place or hide it in a sock drawer somewhere - its up to you. Thank you for doing what you do. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Though it was inevitable I would receive your award, just as it's inevitable I will receive a Nobel Prize, I still received a gushing of pride on its reception. Thanks for the prestigious honor. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 23:36, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Opinions

Hey, Ok I think I've shown you Separation Issues before, oh and here is my latest thang The Idiot's Guide to Getting Your Own Back. Just what do you think. Any comments are welcome. --—Braydie 16:00, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

Merry Christmas

Santa Claus has given you a Jumper for Christmas.. This was hand-knitted by Mrs. Claus herself. If you wish to complain about your Christmas present, do it here. Merry Christmas! From Santa Claus.

If you are another child that thinks they need a present, leave a message here (Santa never forgets, but he is getting on a bit.) Ho Ho Ho from Santa Claus 15:24, 23 December 2006 (UTC)

Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur

Ad perpetuam memoriam de Sol Invictus

Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best. Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 19:02, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

Writer of the Month

I understand this is not closed yet but lts face it, YOU THE WINNER. You deserve it more than anyone here I know. Congrats. Happy new year! --Sir james paul 02:49, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

He's right, you know.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:27, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

AotM

Thanks for your vote. Rather than giving you a template of thanks, in honour of the occassion I wrote UnUnNews: Lindsay Lohan says "Gonch is for chumps" (snappy title, eh?). Don't worry, it makes more sense after you read it. Or less, I haven't decided yet.--Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:27, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

UOTY

Thanks for the vote on UOTY, I'm honoured to be thought of so highly to be nommed in the first place and the kind words from yourself and a few other users mean a great deal to me. For THAT award I give my thanks. -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

No problem. I was compelled by a sense of duty, long since in disrepair, to vote for you for you on UotY. I hope my shameless act of sycophancy will grant me good favor when you ascend to your rightful throne. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 14:56, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

thanks

glad to know you like the new table.--Sir Silent Penguin "your site makes no sence" The illusion is complete 11:41, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

Cheers...

The Artist as a Young Psychopath Many thanks for voting for me as Writerie of ThE Ear. These things mean a lot to me. Indeed, I recall the words of my old dad, who said: Son, writing is just like shooting. You aim, you shoot, you watch the rodent explode and then you wander home with a strange feeling of regret. And you know what? ... He was totally wrong.

--Sir Hardwick Fundlebuggy - (Ring for service) 12:22, 3 January 2007 (UTC)

HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male

Thanks for your vote!

Berogen has awarded you the Neat Order of the Closet for voting For HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male Wear It With Pride!TM You big homo.

Thanks!

Your efforts to help fix pee review have not gone unnoticed...

Thanks a gin!--<<>> 16:37, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Now, Turn Left!

THIS USER NEVER TURNS RIGHT And so the motherland would like to thank him. The motherland would also likes to thank him for voting for My Journeys with the GPS. Now, TURN LEFT!

Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 07:46, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Queen Victoria

I'm feeling a little dense at the moment - when you nullified your vote was that based on my poo lit rewrite? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:26, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Yes. I don't want the original deleted because that would disallow your rewrite, which from the light skimming I gave it seemed quite good, and I didn't want to do that. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 23:59, 19 January 2007 (UTC)

Thanks. Now could you do me a favor - this is totally away from Poo Lit, just your average Uncyclopedia help if you will. I have rewritten Lying and having respect for your way with words, would you be a dear and take a look at the rewrite - which is at the link noted above and monkey with it to make it "quality" writing? It was just such a good topic and I didn't want to see the article shot into the ozone just because it needed some work. So I gave it a shot. Hugs, Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 18:57, 20 January 2007 (UTC)