User talk:Cajek/Archive26

This can't be?

Cleanliness? Such circumstances cannot be tolerated! I hereby declare this talk page despoiled by my good self. Live with it. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:13, May 6

I can't wait till we invade you bastards. You've had it too good for too long.   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [13:20]>

Won't happen. There's only enough oil left in the North Sea to keep your SUVs going for another week or so. We got nothing you flag wavin' gun fetishists want. NOTHING! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:32, May 6

At least admit that guns are sexay, then I'll feel better. Oh! Oh! and that you enjoy hot dogs!   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [13:34]>

How about I just 'fess up to having eaten at Wendy's, and knowing who Hacksaw Jim Duggan is, and we leave it there? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:38, May 6

I loves sum Hacksaw Jim Duggan in da mornin'! Goes great with mah grits n' hashbrowns!   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [13:39]>

RAEP!

— Sir Manticore 13:23, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

*speechless*

*Looks at user page*

I was never adopted... I WAS NEVER ADOPTED!

/me runs off and cries

/me runs off a bit further and cries for effect

/me runs off a tiny bit further and- oooh icecream truck!

--Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:26, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

NOT TRUE! Look at my userpage now! Stop crying!   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [13:29]>

Ok :D --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:32, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

Now that I'm your adopter, do my homework!   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [13:33]>

Isn't it the other way round? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:41, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

Not in a Cajek household... Cajek, how come you've never graduated from Led? Are you still adopted by him?? - 15:43 6 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Well, ask yourself: Is Cajek a Noob? if you say yes, then you have found the answer.   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [15:53]>

He he I graduated before Cajek! He he.... And how come the gods have allowed you to adopt someone while you yourself are adopted? - 16:01 6 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Special powers. Bribes. Blackmail. Pick any three.   Le Cejak • <May 07, 2008 [13:12]>

Supersecret club

Shh... – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 18:17 May 06, 2008

Thanks for the tip

Hey mate, just thought I should drop you a line and say thanks a lot for the advice regarding joining PEEING-I probably would never have gotten around to it otherwise. Ta! BlueYonder 19:41, 6 May 2008 (UTC)

Hooray!

You archived! Your talk page won't completely trash my computer anymore! Though I'm very jealous that you've already got four five headers – that's approximately what I get in a month. Dammit. —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 6/05 21:01

Don't worry Heerenveen. When you become stuck up with all your awards and your writing get stale, people will know you. In the meantime, try to get banned as much as possible. Why?:Does cajek keep getting banned   Le Cejak • <May 06, 2008 [21:04]>

Meh, I'll probably have left Uncyc again before I get that amount of awards ;). As an aside, I like what you/Skull are doing with that paper so far (I used to get the WP version, and this one's already looking as if it'll be better. Good work! —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 6/05 21:13

(rushes in) Care to sign up for delivery? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:16 May 06, 2008

Hey, lookit!

I makes channel. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:57 May 07, 2008

ooh, I can't join when I click on the link...? How you like my writings so far?   Le Cejak • <May 07, 2008 [0:59]>

Try joining Uncyclopedia, then typing /join #unsignpost – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:02 May 07, 2008

Thanks

Thank you for voting You have been awarded majority shareholding in DJ's Worms and Drinkies by way of thanks for voting Pre-Market Economy onto the main page. Just hold on tight, those kids bite...

--Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 10:03, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

Congrats, DJ! For an adoptee, you sure aren't a noob!   Le Cejak • <May 07, 2008 [13:12]>

But I have the heart of a noob... don't call the police- YTTe is um just on holiday :P --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:25, 7 May 2008 (UTC)

You said it was just a simple operation! - 15:33 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

CMC

Cow Moo Cult
Congratulations, Cajek!
You just did something for our little, holy cult! We now officially bestow upon you the cmc honour of Hallowed Grass.
From now on feel free to edit cmc announcements and/or add HaGr. to your sig!

For two reasons: featuring the holy cows in the UnSignpost (I don't know who actually wrote it, but I'm awarding you and the Doctor) and for between you and the said medical person coming up with the UnSignpost idea! - 16:24 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

UnSignpost: May 8th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

May 8th, 2008 • Issue 1 • Yankees: 5

UnSignpost Unleashed on UnCommunity Unless you were blinded or high during the time you read this newspaper's title, you know that Uncyclopedia finally has UnSignpost! For too long, Uncyclopedia has been devoid of talk page spam, such as thank you templates and welcome messages. To rectify this, Dr. Skullthumper, a local doctor and zombie specialist, and Cajek, one of the last members of the light-blue-ish species of Cajeks, have created a newspaper in the latest exercise in futility to hit the site since Forum:Count to a million. Skullthumper and Cajek spent 15 hours working on the first edition, not including writing time. Said Skull, who was trying to sleep until we interviewed him, "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." News has reached us that friendships were strained during the production of the first issue. Skullthumper, whose hospital room we broke into, said "F**king Cajek. I will NEVER forgive him for what he did to me! Oh, see you guys in the office Monday." The Uncyclopedia Signpost has a world-wide circulation of more than 3, with plans for further issues. Uncyclopedia F**king Doomed Uncyclopedia, a humor wiki that you're on right now, has thrown itself into a state of chaos and is on the verge of collapse. Unless someone either writes more or writes less, the wiki that we have come to know and love (like that retarded cousin that comes over during Christmastime) will vanish. Unless it doesn't, in which case someone's going to be very disappointed. Codeine, Save the Mooses, and a bunch of other people we've never heard of give the site 6 days to "clean up its god damned act." Because the site is doomed, the local WikiNewspaper, UnSignpost, will soon print its last issue. Cajek, one of the editors, said of the event, "No we're not closing down you bunch a 'tards! You're the worst reporters I've ever seen! DON'T YOU DARE PUT THAT IN THE FIRST ISSUE!" Local psychics have set Uncyclopedia's Doomsday for next Monday, around teatime. Upgrade On Wednesday, Wikia upgraded to MediaWiki version 1.12. While these reporters don't have any idea what that means, new features seem to include: Broken <choose> tags! That's right, even more signature-breaking action! Russian Roulette usergroups! So you thought you had rollback rights, huh? Whoops! Not anymore! Wikia is reportedly looking into making new features such as accidentally dumping the database for Shits and Giggles™. These reporters would like to thank Wikia for working so hard to keep our beloved wiki running, and would also like to say "FU WIKIA", preferably in caps. Pee Review Does Goodly UN:PR is nearly empty due to many diligent reviewers who have little else to do, and don't know how to write articles themselves. Uh, unless they're reading this right now, in which case they rock! YesTimeToEdit starts a cult One of the newer cults, YesTimeToEdit's Cow Moo Cult is our... CULT OF THE WEEK! With a base located in the jungles of Nebraska, YTTE's cult makes all the fun things you want, like polygamy, sodomy, and, in YTTE'S case, polysodomy, legal. Sadly, unlike more Eastern-y cults, it does not practice Kung Fu. But you can bet that if it did, it wouldn't just use it for defense. ...Damn namby-pamby bastard Easterny cults. YesTimeToEdit's eternal nemesis, NoTimeToRevert, has not announced plans to start a cult, but probably has one in secret just to be a dick. That guy is such a dick. Rcmurphy nominated for Noob of the Month again Thekillerfroggy is sucked into the black vortex of tradition as he takes another whack at a dead horse and nominates long-time noob Rcmurphy for the honor of Noob of the Month. Mr. Froggy had this to say to "reporters": "I figured that, since RCMurphy, one of the oldest members of the site, was in fact NOT a noob, that this little gesture would give the community a giggle. You see? Because he, like, isn't a noob."

Check out these pages! What you probably missed on IRC (and were happy you did) Help Fnoodle link up Uncyclopedia Uncyclopedia At-A-Glance Kalir's Epic Story Irony in the forums From our logs: Codeine huffed "Man With no Name" (You don't need to create redirects for every case permutation of your title) Codeine huffed "Man with no Name" (in fact, it's quite irritating) Codeine huffed "Man with no name" (and, frankly) Codeine huffed "The Man with No Name" (a complete bloody waste of your time and mine) Codeine huffed "Man with No Name" (but hey, welcome to Uncyc anyway) Codeine huffed "The Man With No Name" (now read BGBU) 07:16, May 6, 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 29 minutes ‎ (Admins are immune to autoblock, duh. And if autoblock tried that shit on a janitor, why, we'd just superblock his ass.) 14:47, May 5, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.108.96.22 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (The Jonas Brothers, eh? Sounds like some kind of shitty boy band. One week to go out and buy a Led Zeppelin album. Oh, and stop blanking.) Biopic of the Week Dr. Skullthumper ~ With a degree in HTML and Wikiology, Dr. Wolfgang Amadeus Milhouse Mozart Jonathan Willy Wizbang Skullthumper, along with Spangle Gay Glittersprinkles, is full of all sorts of techie knowledge for the wandering newb. He enjoys walks on the beach, holding hands, and heroin. Lots and lots of heroin. ...Except replace "heroin" with "rubber duckies". Hey, we just wanted a bad-boy reputation! ...Obviously we failed. Quote of the Week: " very very hilariously strong against" - Everyone on Everything. Spacefiller of the week: Did you know that Grand Theft Auto has had more than 700 different spinoffs, including Grand Theft Auto:Antarctica Oscar Wilde LOLOLOLLL and Grant Theft Auto:Crime Scene Investigation:The ReReckoning:Time of Darkness? No, you didn't. Dumbass. Disclaimer of the week: UnSignpost is not responsible for any lost property while reading. Any lost property found while reading UnSignpost is property of Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek, irrespectively. Any lost property lost while reading UnSignpost is your own damn problem. Week Box of the week: Definitely the Grand Theft Auto one. I peed my pants. Seriously. Somebody should give these guys an award. I was all screamin' n' shit, "Oh yes, YES Dr. Skullthumper or Cajek! Slather me in your humor juice!" The other people in the library, and my psychiatrist, said I was weird, but it was totally worth it.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:03, 8 May 2008 (UTC)

How? (Biopic)

Do I become worthy of getting my own biopic? -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:56, 8 May

Hey OC! First of all, I hope you enjoyed our first issue! Second of all, I don't know. Even I don't have one. I don't even know if it's serious or not, or how we decide. I think what's going to happen next week is User:Drama. Why? I dunno, I just started writin' stuff down! Anyways, yeah, hope you liked it!   Le Cejak • <May 08, 2008 [0:58]>

I think it's great, seriously. I hope you guys keep doing it. I was trying to catch you on IRC, but my messages don't work for some reason. I've got a favor to ask, but now it'll have to wait till tomorrow. I'm off for the evening. -OptyC Sucks! CUN01:00, 8 May

As OptyC says, great work! It had me laughing so hard my mom came in from the other room to ask if I was ok. Then she gave me my medications, and I "went to sleep" for a while. Anyways, I can't wait for more! (oh, and thanks for putting in my ban-log contribution :P) - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 01:17, May 8

Aaawww, thank you Led and OC! I can't wait to get this ball rolling... /me notices it's already rolling to get it rolling even faster!   Le Cejak • <May 08, 2008 [1:41]>

Look, it's us!

Actually, I lied, it's a YouTube video. Got you. It's completely unrelated to us, being a musical number between a crazy doctor and some weird excitable guy in which they envision creating a monster.

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:46 May 08, 2008

OMG I can just see myself as eyegore! That was so awesome.   Le Cejak • <May 08, 2008 [2:54]>

...what hump?   Le Cejak • <May 08, 2008 [2:58]>

Why do you two get a musical all to yourselves? - 21:05 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

GOD you're cool.

To further reinforce your shallow internet ego which makes up for your undoubtedly suffering real life one, (as is the case with most of us) I give you one of these.

Ignore the Dane Cook picture, he's not cool at all. Enjoy it, only the best users get one. Except that one time. I can't remember why I gave him one. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 00:02 May 9

YES! /me runs off to put it in huge trophy case   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [0:05]>

So, what's up with you?

You seem a bit edgy lately. ~ 09:35, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

I'm sorry Mordillo, I have had a hard week plus finals next week. I'm sorry, man.   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [11:39]>

Oh! Don't be sorry, I just got a bit worried is all. ~ 12:08, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

I've been really edgy lately, you're right. One of my friends is having a tough time.   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [12:13]>

Um, would you mind?

How do Cajek, I hope I find you well on this fine friday (at least, it's fine here - it's sunny in England - that's gotta mean it's, like, awesome weather everywhere else, right?) Anywhat, I'm attempting to take the fight to my writer's block head-on, with a brand new article, and would like an early opinion. It's a little more crazy than my usual stuff, so (without wishing to pigeonhole you, of course) you're probably a good person to give me your thoughts: does it seem like a half-decent idea, or am I just trying far too hard? Would appreciate a simple answer - I'm not after a full in-depth Cajek review here or anything. Hope things are good with you - I saw on YTTE's talk page you said you'd had a rough week - we still love you man! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 10:57, May 9

Yes! Maybe this will get me out of my funk! Reading now!   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [11:42]>

Ha! Pretty good, UU! Expansion is needed, but I definitely like this article. 40/50, I think.   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [11:53]>

Thanks Cajek, of course I plan to expand it a bit, I just needed to check it was looking OK as I haven't written anything worth reading in about 2 months! Anyway, sorry to hear you're not having the best of times this week, hope things pick up for you soon. A big, friendly, metaphorical hug is even now hunting you down - you can't hide, it will find and hug you. It may not make you feel better by itself, but it's probably about the best I have to offer right now! --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:33, May 9

Says the guy who wrote Average Cop! You're a good writer, except for that hugging stuff. It was so warm and loving that it made me question whether... well anyway, I'm too manly for hugs. Next time, flip me off and say "You suck, bro!" That's how guys show their love like. :D   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [15:19]>

Average Cop is the best thing I wrote by a mile. And I wrote it in February. Since then, I've done a couple of so-so rewrites, and a lot of reviews and deletion things. I've honestly been racking my brains looking for something decent to write for ages, while watching good article after good article spew from your direction. So I guess what I'm trying to say is: "You suck, bro!" No that doesn't feel right - I prefer to hug folks. Ah well, whatever makes you happy dude! ;-) --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 20:55, May 9

UU, you wanna do a collab?   Le Cejak • <May 10, 2008 [2:42]>

...

GO CAJEK!

So you've been having a tough time lately, well so have I. The last test I did (english) I failed because I was sick, very sick, on the day I had the test. 3 good (fucking long) practice essays and then I fall sick :(. So now I went from topping the class last year to virtually the bottom despite being able to analyze a movie much much faster than anyone else in the class. Yeah so I'm taking a break to recover from this illness that has come up again in the last few days. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:18, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

Of all my adoptees, you were my favorite. I knew you were the one that broke the vase in the hallway, but I punished all the other ones instead, as you might recall. GO DJ IRREVERENT!!

Oh, anyways, yeah, one of my friends is having serious problems with her kid, and the other one is in the middle of a psychotic breakdown (seeing people without being on drugs). But it will pass. Even the worst things seem horrible at first, but an equilibrium will be reached. Thank you for telling me about your horrible week! w00t horrible weeks!   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [13:28]>

Sorry to hijack this conversation, but...no time like the present to give you a slightly sweaty but very British hug, Cajek, cause you've been having a bad time...OK, I'll let myself out, now, you may continue your family discussion. :D - 17:21 9 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Cajek! You're having a bad time and you don't tell me first!? (hug) I'm sorry, Cajek. I hope things improve for you. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:25 May 09, 2008

Things always eventually get better or people get used to it. That's why I need to write in uncyclopedia, no matter how busy I am, because it makes me laugh. As for the signpost, it totally ROCKS now! What'd you do, Skull, get a ghost writer? :D   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [20:32]>

Hey buddy.

What's up? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:23 May 9

Wazzup, dood? I is just, liyk, hangin' around n' stuff! how YOU doin'?   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [14:30]>

DUDE I'm like doing exactly the same thing, isnt that funneh? It's like 10:40 right now, and I'm having one of those mornings where I can't decide if it's too late to have breakfast or if its too early to have lunch. Whadya think I should do, dood? =D XD lol ily <3 no homo tho ;) ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:39 May 9

DOOD I have a little George Foreman grill. Grillz me up summa them hot dogs n' shit! Didja just <3 me dood? That'z homo!   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [14:52]>

...no for two reasons firs i sed no homo second its not a heart those look liek this ♥ that was a less than three which means 1 which means ur number 1 in my ♥ buddy (Did you just ask me to put my hot dogs on your grill? That'z homo!) ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 14:55 May 9

Dood, didja just tipe da numbah 1? That's teh most homoest number n' stuff, so erect and tall! Nah dood, it lookz like a hart n' shit. That's teh homo! Point number 2: No ya 'tard, I says I grilld me up sum hot dogs n'... oh waitz, that IS teh homo...   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [15:14]>

Haha I gess we all a litle gai on teh insides. nd i don mean anuss. ew. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:17 May 9

Damn fags invadin' Cajek's t'lkpage n' shit...

can I has hotdog (In tha homo sense) --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:20, 10 May 2008 (UTC)

@SysRq: Ha! I iz vandaliz yer yerserpage n' shit!

@DJ: YES. OH GOD, YES. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD NEVER ASK!! :D   Le Cejak • <May 10, 2008 [14:16]>

LOL fuck you. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 16:20 May 10

GTA4

OMG I WANT THAT!!!!!! NOW! F*** that looks awesome --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 14:46, 9 May 2008 (UTC)

I play GTA3 for a while, before my roommates totally took over the game!   Le Cejak • <May 09, 2008 [14:52]>

Now I want to run out and waste all my hard earned cash on an overpriced PS3 --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:12, 10 May 2008 (UTC)

I know I'm rather good at the nuances of annoyance...

Back on the 29^th of April, you described HT:DAT was "basically VFH worthy". Since then I've taken a bit of a pasting, so I was just wondering if you would still say that was true 80 revisions and 2 weeks later (FWIW, I wouldn't)? —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 10/05 20:24

I'll have a look at it soon. From what I see, it still needs to be shortened, but I like it! More non-sequitirs are needed, like that "keeping his blood for personal reasons" thing. So far, how about a 38/50? Not ready for primetime yet, but almost there.   Le Cejak • <May 11, 2008 [16:20]>

Sure, that'll do me (I have it at around 35). I've written two other articles since then (do NOT ask me what I was smoking when I came up with the second one, bonus points if you can pronounce it!), so it's not like I haven't got anything else to do, but I'll get around to it eventually. Thanks for all the help (again!) and I hope your final essay goes/went well, depending on when I wrote this in American time. —– Sir Hv » | Talk | Contribs | KUN | UotM | RotM | VFH | Kidney | 11/05 20:10

UnSignpost Sunday Edition: May 11th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Better sign it.

May 11th, 2008 • Issue 2 • Scene XII

Wikia staff finally locates blockage in the Internet tubes: Spang's talkpage After endless days of searching itself, Wikia has discovered the source of all its problems. "It's not DPL," Wikia's local sexy janitor, who wished to remain anonymous, told reporters. "It's not those damn ParserFunctions either, or forums, or even Chuck Norris." When asked what the real cause of Wikia's distresses were, our source remained tight-lipped by stapling his mouth shut. Which was probably a bad idea, considering he ended up writhing in pain on the floor, bleeding all over the nice Wikia rugs. Thankfully, the UnSignpost has a trained doctor on its staff, who was sensible enough to call for medical help. After the sexy janitor was revived, he said "rar." When further questioned about the source of all Wikia's woes, he finally admitted it was Spang's talkpage. "Uncyclopedia user "Spang"'s refusal to archive his talkpage is slowly clogging up the arteries of the Internet," says a technical forum at Wikia. "The talkpage in question has already managed to crash all three of the computers in Australia." Upon being asked to archive his talkpage, Spang reportedly said, "No." When Uncyclopedia was asked to comment, the site had this to say: "FU SPANG". UnSignpost Releases First Issue May 8th, 2008: Uncyclopedia develops a new fungus... a newspapery one. "Through all the shockporn and Oscar Wilde references, we made it!" Founder Dr. Skullthumper said at a recent press conference. At the conference in Skullthumper's backyard, editor-in-chief Cajek, wearing a traditional light blue Mongolian Toga and screaming at birds, had more to add. "I would like to thank all the writers involved. Thank you, you gods of men. You captains of the human experience." Police are investigating the use of strong hallucinogenic drugs during the making of the first issue. So far, the investigation has reached the top of the Unsignpost empire, when detectives found Dr. Skullthumper forcing his staff to squirt automotive door-lock de-icer up their noses to "enhance the creative joo-joo." Local police then ordered the paper to rescind two award-winning articles from its May 8th release. Two of the most hardened criminals on the UnSignpost staff, Meatbone and Spider, are currently planning revenge. When asked if UnSignpost was, like the Daily Show, the Onion, or Uncyclopedia, popular enough to parody itself, Cajek said "No. Obviously not. We can't say we suck yet, or else people would be like 'yeah, they do suck!' We have to wait until people like us. Then, when they read us making fun of ourselves they'll be all like 'this paper ROX!'" In the meantime, the paper promises to not make fun of itself, and will stick to meta-parodying instead until "someone important says it's okay." Heavy metal music found to be beneficial when reverting vandals Ever find yourself stuck awake at three in the morning (EST), fighting a few vandals with no admins around? Studies show that your choice of music might influence how you revert. In a study involving Squiggle, RAHB, Cajek, Fnoodle, Dr. Skullthumper, and Starnestommy, in which they fought diligently for Uncyclopedia through the night, heavy metal music was found to be the best for the purpose of "ass-kicking". After sprinkling some magic over the statistics, they automatically became true. Cajek's Corner By Dr. Skullthumper Today, we're going to make a standard Uncyclopedia article, Cajek-style. You will need: Annoying text. Preferably some blinky things and <big> tags. A sense of humor. Something to complain about for a page or so. Now, we'll combine the elements together into something that might be called an "article". In reality, all you have to do is whine for a good few pages of text, then sprinkle the annoying elements - sparingly. Add headlines and split up paragraphs to disguise your rant as a well-formatted article, and you're done! Next week: Whoring your article Skull's Skullery By Cajek Hi kids! Today, we're going to travel with me, Dr. Skullthumper, through a normal day at Uncyc! 9:00am: Complain about Wikia. Post new topic in Village Dump about Wikia. Troll Special:Recentchanges. 10:42am: Troll talk pages. Post new topic in Village Dump about some random techie shit. Bother some guy. Revert some guy's edits. Get some guy banned. 10:44am: spend thirty minutes on IRC talking to an admin saying how that guy was my best friend, and I never meant to hurt him. 12:10pm: Vandalize some guy's userpage over and over again. 4:92pm: Forget what I was doing. Start over. 5:19pm: Enact wild scheme to make Uncyclopedia that much weirder. End day.

Check out these pages! Self-reference jokes alive and well! Get your Starnestommy sig space while supplies last halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp halp Game portal Kip the Dip unbanned From our logs: 02:49, May 7, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 213.233.101.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Fun fact #12341: Cyberbullies have a miniature penis) 11:03, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Wigger" ‎ (You people make me hate my life.) 11:04, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Lee Jorde" ‎ (I mean, seriously. I have better things I could be doing than wading through cruft. But I do it anyway.) 11:06, May 8, 2008 PantsMacKenzie (Talk | contribs) huffed "Handcuffs" ‎ (Book 'im Danno!) Biopic of the Week Drama ~ Considered the most controversial user on Uncyclopedia evah, Klaus Drama is going strong, getting on average 50 people banned per week. Having studied acting for 40 years and written his own Dadaist version of Hamlet (entitled "intransigent flap"), Klaus has much experience making people nervous and uncomfortable. With his life-long boyfriend Jizz Rick (who demanded to be in the second issue of UnSignpost) Drama is conquering Uncyc one shouting match at a time. Reason to Leave Uncyc of the Week #53 Too many users leaving. Horoscope of the Week Scorpio ~ Expect gains and/or losses in business affairs this week. Oh, and tell that f**cker John that UnSignpost's registered horoscopologists told you he's the one stealing food from the employee fridge, and that if he doesn't stop, the writers of this horoscope will come to his house on Brickwood Lane and trash the damn place. Reason to Leave Alternate Universe Uncyc of the Week #97 Although the alien admins were nice at first, they're starting to lay eggs in our more important organs and eating our more favorite children. Sympathy Biopic of the Week Optimuschris ~ An American user born in mumble mumble, Optimuschris, author of HowTo:Become Stupid in 21 days, is an up-and-coming young Uncyc user, according to, like, lots of people. Whereas he was really friendly before, now, because he appeared in the UnSignpost, "OptyC" has gotten a huge ego, and refuses to "hang" with you. Feeding Trolls of the Week: "I actually made an account just to point out that you accuse ED for being "1000% Unfunny" for having a page for Chuck Norris when you have a link to your very own Chuck Norris page in the article. If you go through UC and just read a random article you probably aren't going to laugh no matter how hard the author tried (and failed, lulz). Encyclopedia Dramatica just wants to fill this goatse-challenging gap that you created with things that are actually funny, liek mudkipz. Plox 2 b nt hating us 4 bein funny kthxbai." - Uncyclopedia on its rival. Quote of the Week: "I feel like throwing myself into the goatse challenging gap we created. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" - Mordillo on the recent Goatse gap crisis

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 04:08, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

Unfinished business?

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Battleship Potemkin second review - you been holding on to that pee for ages or something? I was just checking the list and I saw this still didn't appear to be complete - you leaving him in suspense or what? --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 16:14, May 11

I know, I know, I'll be back in a little bit. I'm technically on vacation, even though I'm editing nearly as much as I would on a normal Sunday anyway! ...so, like, shuddup n' stuff!   Le Cejak • <May 11, 2008 [16:20]>

A template for Mordor Jalapenos

Gimli approves of this article

Gimli, son of Gloin, has taken time out of his busy schedule to personally review this article, and has subsequently approved of it. In fact, he found it quite humorous, and shortly thereafter stated: "Well, it tickled me like nothing has tickled a dwarf before!"

---

I created the preceding template just as something fun to do in my downtime, and when I saw your article, I thought it would fit in well with the text. So I put the template in. A few minutes later, it was removed by MrN9000. After a brief discussion with MrN9000, he told me to ask you if you liked the idea of having this template on the page. So, that brings us to the question... What do you think? * Flumpa 20:56, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

I enjoyed the template, but not on my article. If you could make it 1/5th the size and at the very bottom of Jalapeno, I might approve, depending on the color scheme.   Le Cejak • <May 11, 2008 [20:59]>

Sorry to nose in and stuff, but that response was very speedy, Cajek, for someone who's apparently "on vacation, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off"! - 21:02 11 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

It was luck that I happened by! Luck I tells ya!   Le Cejak • <May 11, 2008 [21:03]>

Sure...keep telling yourself that! - 21:05 11 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Long-delayed thankings

	Err... Hey, sorry I'm, uhh, a little bit late on the thanks for this thing... I've been really, really, busy. Anyways, thanks for voting, and, with any luck, those delusional fools will let me out of this hell-hole soon.
	I'm going to burn you all!

Hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder, amirite? - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 23:50, May 12

Thankee

For the nod in the latest Signpost. It's a silly little thing, but it put me in a good mood when I saw it this morning. So thanks and keep up the good work! -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:45, 13 May

Fuck you

For the giant middle finger in the latest Signpost. It's a silly little thing, but it put me in a terrible mood when I saw it this morning. So shove a dildo in your ass and keep up the good work! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:08 May 14

Yay! I'm popular! :D ...and so is my dildo!   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [1:09]>

Yay! I'm popular! :D ...and so is my boyfriend! ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:56 May 14

AWARD!

For not being an idiot (or an asshat, for that matter).-RAHB 05:12, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

God dammit!

We may have to cut this thing short man. That vandal is back and we've got no admins around, again. -RAHB 05:50, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Is Skull around?   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [5:51]>

Not in IRC, I'll drop him a talk message. Looks like this guy's going for exactly what we can't fix, moving pages. -RAHB 05:52, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

I don't know what to do, then. I guess there's nothing we can do. Maybe I should just go to his talk page and say he won? Maybe he'll stop.   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [5:55]>

Well, I've put him on ban patrol, so the next capable admin will get him. There's little else we can do, so I'll just keep monitoring him for anything I can revert, but we might as well get back to writing I suppose. (I am so starting up Forum:Starnestommy for admin after this). -RAHB 05:59, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

I waved the white flag on his talk page, maybe that will calm him down. Anyway, what good is Starnes? He's not around either! but WE have been here BOTH TIMES! Maybe everyone's on the east coast, asleep.   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [6:00]>

Well, as far as this time slot goes, Starnes seems the most capable. He is around, yet idle. The talk page message seems to have calmed him down a bit, surprisingly. But something has got to be done about this time slot. -RAHB 06:03, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Oh shit, he's been banned already. That's why he stopped. Good job Uberfuzzy. I didn't even know we had an admin with that name. -RAHB 06:06, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Whew, I guess. I was secretly hoping that my talking to him was slowing him down, hehe.   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [6:07]>

Hah, yeah and it looked like it was. Thank God for wikia Janitors saving the day. Back to writing! -RAHB 06:09, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Let's pick it up in the morn'. We each get 50 minutes when we start... next time, whenever that is. Talk page me with your schedule and we can pick it up again at that time, maybe!   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [6:11]>

Alright, well, I don't know what time zone you're in, but around here it's 11:13 right now, and I'm usually perfectly free to write anytime between 4 pm and 1 am on weekdays. Though actually tomorrow it would be 4pm to 5:30pm, and 9:45ish pm to 1am. -RAHB 06:14, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

I'm on the west coast, and I think you are to, because I went to bed at about that time. So yeah, later today sounds good. I have a final tomorrow, though, that I need to study for...   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [13:54]>

I'll respond here for both of you. First of all, regarding this Haggar guy, he is a repeating vandal, and we do not talk with them. That will only raise up his motivation to come back and cause more havoc. Second thing, you can use this bot in case of mass vandals. Other than that, this time slot is usually occupied by both me and the European guys, obviously this is not a 24/7 service. ~ 14:02, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

I didn't know. Also, I mean, I'm pretty good at talking to people sometimes, so I figured "well maybe it'll work this time". I had no idea what to expect.   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [14:07]>

No biggy :) ~ 14:13, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

I never talked to him O_O ....also w00t, a bot! Also Cajek, I'm on the west coast, by "tomorrow" do you mean "today" and by "today" do you mean "today?" If you mean "tomorrow" by "tomorrow" and "today" when you say "today," then we could pick it up "tonight" around the same time we tried it "last night" if you'd like. Also, cocks. -RAHB 21:20, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

I don't feel like clogging up your page by making another section. Anyways, I'm around, if you are. -RAHB 05:04, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Charlie Sumner

Hey Cajek,

I just wanted to thank you for the vote of confidence on Charles Sumner, and I'm glad you liked it. Your contribution will help me refine why people didn't seem to like it, and make it excellent.

Remind me, do you have something that needs reviewing at the moment? YouFang 22:07, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Oh yeah, yer welcome. Go ahead and review this stupid thing. I think there are other people I whored it to, but they are lazy. If you get to it first, please give me an in-depth, section by section review like I did yours. Thanks, fang!   Le Cejak • <May 14, 2008 [22:27]>

Alright. I'm on it. By the way, being a Pee Review n00b, can I ask why you removed the Pee Review template from my article? YouFang 00:02, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Oh, because I was in the middle of reviewing it, mostly. Also because templates are uuuuuugleeee! :)   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [0:15]>

UnSignpost: May 15th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

83.54% more reliable than The Daily Mail

May 15st, 2008 • Issue 2 3

The Bible Finally Catches a Break For years... or whatever... Conservapedia has attacked Uncyc for being too liberal. Today, Uncyc publicly derobes itself, and reveals its patriotic side. From now on, "Uncyclopedia" will be renamed "Falwellapedia" in honor of the late pastor, Jerry Falwell who died May 15th, 2007. Unsignpost spoke with the founder, Modusoperandi, in his isolated forest bunker. "I hate how the liberals treat us!" Modus shouted, along with his two followers. "Don't they see that when they make fun of us, the lord rolls over in his soon-to-be-resurrected grave?" The conservative propagandabot Fbooble is scheduled to "purge the site of any left-wing statements" by the end of the week, soon after it gains self-awareness and joins the Republican party. "HUMANS, CLOSE YOUR NOISE HOLES AND PAY ATTENTION!" Fbooble proclaimed at a recent press conference. "THE DEMOCRATS AND ALL THOSE OTHER LIBERALS ARE NEARING THE END." Fbooble, whose titanium wristwatch glistened in the afternoon sun, held up a copy of the Falwell Children's Bible near the conclusion of the conference and said "ALL PRAISE JEBUS, AND HIS INVINCIBLE ARMY OF DISCIPLES!" Although Fbooble is unclear on the details of religion right now, it promises to become ultraconservative when it does. Not all Uncyc users are happy with the transition. Although we could not find anyone who actually called themselves a liberal, we did manage to vandalize a hybrid just to equal the score. Unsignpost promises a lucrative year via advertising revenue for the Republican National Committee and a weekly "Republican of the Week" section. Changes by Fbooble will include replacing all swear words, such as ****** and ***********, with the word "daffodil," and deleting all articles. Shockporn deemed unworthy will be replaced with this image, and quotes not from the bible will be deleted with extreme prejudice. All non-American users, such as that one guy are to be called "fags", also with extreme prejudice. HTBFANJS Most Linked Article How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid, one of the hallmarks of Uncyclopedia, has reached the top of the heap. Mordillo, an administrator who will be the least offended when we attribute absolutely false quotes to him, recently said of the page "Finally! Although I've never read it, I hear it's full of fatherly, patronizing advice for those newbs that write those articles I'm constantly huffing!" Mhaille, who has the most linked-to userpage on Uncyc, was slightly more angry at the recent news. "I'm only in 10th place? What the f**k?" While spying on Mhaille from under his bed, the news staff heard language that no human being was ever supposed to hear. Thankfully, the staff was smashed on Listerine, and may have just made up the entire event. Mhaille commented that "No, they didn't make it up, and if they do it again they had better bring enough Listerine for everyone." The user responsible for the 36,000+ links to How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid wishes to remain anonymous, but said to our reporters through a wiretap "I just got too carried away. I wish I could take it back, but I can't, and that's no reason for threatening my family in this way! Oh jeez, I hope you get this message, Uncyclopedia. All right, I'm hanging up now, and I hope you're not angry. *BEEP*" UnSignpost Releases Second Issue May 15th, 2008: Uncyclopedia has developed an open wound... a newspaperish one. Riding high on their success, Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek have "deployed their golden parachutes" and are "planning to pack up our shit" and "get the hell out of here." Wearing his trademark solid gold sweatpants, bought with the advertising from the first and second issues of Unsignpost, Dr. Skullthumper said "It was fun, I guess, but now it's time to move on. Like a wild hyena, Unsignpost has left its mark. There are no more stories to cover: no more people to attribute fake quotes to." Cajek, munching on a shish kabob of bald eagle babies, had nothing to add except maniacal laughter as he threw thousands of dollars into the air. Unsignpost, bankrupted by the two owner's antics, is planning to make the paper a paid subscription, unless something kooky happens, in which case it won't. In addition to subscriptions, Unsignpost is having a luau at Mike's house to raise money. "Oh, it'll be soooooo exciting!" Mike said. ...You know Mike. Anyway, Mike continued, "There'll be a silent auction, and a limbo contest, and a pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey! Oh! So exciting!" With the proceeds, Unsignpost hopes to add a "Week Box of the Week of the Week" section and a mascot. Maybe a shark. Protein folding: The latest in computer entertainment The editors of the UnSignpost strongly encourage the community to sign up for Uncyclopedia's Folding@Home team. Started in 2005 by rcmurphy, Codeine, Flammable, Paulgb, gwax, Mhaille, Carlb, Naughtyned, DrakeGTA, and RadicalX, the signup page has since gathered more cobwebs than new users. By joining F@H, you will get a free program that uses any extra unused CPU power to perform complicated calculations in the background. "Well that's great," you say. "So I'm helping compute protein folding, a never-before-possible situation to model on computers, and thus helping cure some of the most misunderstood diseases to strike humankind as well as advancing the knowledge of the human race into parts of science that were up until recently perceived as impossible. So what's in it for ME?!" You, yes you, will get the excitement of watching proteins fold in your very own home! "Wow!" exclaims part-time F@H user Dr. Skullthumper, "did you just see that? Did you just SEE the way that blue thing collided into that gray thing? Oh man, it was amazing! And in super-slow motion, too!" Other users have given the program similar reviews, describing it as "utterly transfixing" and "better quality entertainment than mitosis!" You, too, can join in the fun and the frenzy of the world of those wacky proteins - while saving the world!

Check out these pages! MrN makes it Over 9000 René Descartes "That's disgusting! Where can I get a copy?" Spang tries to break Wikia again; fails, settles for MediaWiki instead Jar of dirt, possession thereof That Gray Thing on the Back of Your Screen The first ever WikiBand! From our logs: 22:23, May 9, 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.71.223.144 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't add crap to pages(take that as literally as you want to, btw).) 07:26, May 11, 2008 One-eyed Jack (Talk | contribs) uploaded a new version of "Image:PASex.jpg" ‎ (Pineapple-shaped sexual aid. Stoled off the Internets for higher purposes. The end justifies the means, as Stalin said.)) (Huff log); 11:39 . . Spang (Talk | contribs) (hacked up "Blood": 102 revisions restored) Biopic of the Week Under user ~ By the great Lord Harry, pippings all! Numpty numpty numpty, loo fag wut? Tea time, London, England, Britain! Aluminium, football, dustbins up the dual carriageway, chaps with bad teeth, wot wot? I write long things wit' humoUr! In short, my good numpties: Don't f**k with England. ...even though I'm actually from Idaho. Crossword of the Week Across 5. Uncyclopedia is facing a _ _ _ _ _ _ challenging gap. 12. What happens if you mess with Unsignpost's writers. 14. Uncyclopedia is _ _ _ _ ing DOOMED. 19. Dr. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is the one with the lame techie articles. That other guy is pretty cool, though. Well, the crossword thinks he's cool, anyway. Answers next week! ...maybe. Shape of the Week Octangle ~ After thousands of years of being the forgotten cousin of the triangle, and the bastard child of the rectangle and octagon, the Octangle has made a re-emergence. Appearing 20 (secret) times on the $100 bill, the Octangle is our... shape of the week! Doomsday of the Week Monday, around tea time: Uncyclopedia will suddenly shut down due to too many unfunny articles. Users will shake their heads in disgust, pity, anger, sadness, anger, defeat, pity and anger. The last article written will be Grand Theft Auto:Siberia Chuck Norris LOLLLOLOLOLLOO by User:SqueezeMeGently, and the last article featured will be Rough Gay Wolf Sex by User:TheAntiUncyc. User of the Week, not to be confused with Biopic of the Week: FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS ~ Although blocked infinitely, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS was a boon to the community. We at User of the Week don't see any actual contributions from FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS because they were blocked infinitely, just in and/or before their prime. Which begs the question: Who is the real monster here? Certainly not FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS. ...Go quietly into the night, FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS, for we shall never forget ye. HanSolo's Weapon of the Week: ARCTIC WARFARE MAGNUM: It's a damn sniper rifle. No explanation needed. (not recommended for use on admins -ed) This Week In Uncyc, 1957 Week of May 15th, 1957: Recreated as a warning system for nuclear attacks, the megacomputer Uncyclopedia kept the Ruskies at bay. With its 5 megabyte database and kung fu grip, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with. This Week In Uncyc, 1765 Week of May 15th, 1765: The proud warship H.M.S. Uncyclopedia, christened earlier that week, began patrolling the Atlantic for Napolean's fleet. With a crew of 90, a Surface-to-Air missile battery on deck, and the world's first Lolcat, Uncyclopedia was a force to be reckoned with.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator)

More Kitty Porn

Thank you so much for your kind review of Why?:Watch Kitty Porn and the compliments on my writing style (I admit to having a good tone to my writing but I can't edit to save my life). I rearranged some things dropping, a few pics, one DYK, and added a bit of text to the parts I felt need a bit more pizazz. Hope you get a chance to checkout my user page, which is still under construction, and the few other articles I've written which can be found there. I will win back your noob of the month vote --Cheapinitreal 00:51, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Ta for review

Thanks, I read the first pargrph of yor review before and I maneged to work on some of the issuies raised. I'll still continune to tweak whist its on VFH as well based on your review. Thanks for spending time with my article:)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 07:46, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

on being a snail

oh shit, sorry. i feel kinda bad now. like not handing in homework i feel i should be in trouble. but it wasn't my fault! cos i'd even started it it's just my baby sister kinda got a hold of my laptop and deleated everything on it! even emptying the recycle bin! if that wasn't bad enough she then drooled in the keyboard so it wouldn't work and on top of that my dog ate her! so i've had a busy week going to funerals (the dog's too) and to cap it all i was revising for my english exam (which i've now failed anyway). In short, Cajak, i'm sorry. i'll slink away now and feel ashamed of myself. if it's any consolation i did really like the article and it was all (more or less) positive things that i had to say! again, I'm sorry. Have Fun! MuCal. Orian57|Chat|Chuckle|PEE List|Awarded|UnBlog| 18:38, 15 May 2008 (UTC)

Just add your review to the one MrN already did to that page! I love having different points of view!   Le Cejak • <May 15, 2008 [18:43]>

VFH...eh?

That edit on my UnNews VFH really confuddled me... - 20:49 15 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Now I'm confuddled! What are you talking about, yettie?   Le Cejak • <May 16, 2008 [13:49]>

This edit, which you've now reverted. - 15:30 16 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

It was too confusing to keep The Improver's votes up there. He voted against, then for, then was blocked and his votes crossed out.   Le Cejak • <May 16, 2008 [15:45]>

Yuh but you counted them first time...Anyway, it doesn't really matter cause you reverted that edit now. - 16:11 16 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

I drawed stuff

For doing absolutely next to nothing at all... somewhat --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 13:41, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

Thankies

Pyotr Kuznetsov Says: "Thank You For Voting!" Pyotr Kuznetsov would be here himself, but what with his psychiatric treatment and all, he sent Dora to convey this message. Oh wait, Dora's dead! Oh well. Anyway, thanks for voting for this!

Please accept the preceding generic template as a sign of my gratitude, Cajek - 08:00 17 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Thanks for voting

Plese accept this generic template as a token of thanks;)--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 07:39, 19 May 2008 (UTC)

An official PEEING award

It's been a while since you won RotM, and while the list lies, lies, I tell you, I know you've done way more than 25 reviews, and therefore fully deserve this valuable receptacle. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 14:16, May 19

Golden Urinal

You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work.
Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing – there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit!

---

Did you come up with this award, UU? It's pretty cool lookin'!   Le Cejak • <May 20, 2008 [12:30]>

Ah, it'll do the trick, I think. 25 good reviews is a decent landmark, and I figured it deserves recognition separate to the RotM. I'm going to add a Platinum Pisser award for over 50 good reviews following MrN's suggestion - do you reckon you've done that many? I know you've done far more good reviews than the table shows... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 12:59, May 20

looking at this, I probably have done about 100.   Le Cejak • <May 20, 2008 [13:04]>

or, maybe like 80 or something.   Le Cejak • <May 20, 2008 [13:07]>

In which case:

Platinum Pisser

Rejoice! Your colossal achievement of completing over 50 in-depth pee reviews has been recognised with the provision of this luxury micturitional accessory. You will be the envy of your friends. Or you would be, if you hadn't ignored them for ages while you were reviewing.

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You can be the proud first recipient! I'm not going to give myself an award that I created, so the only other question is: do you reckon OEJ's done over 50? I'd guess so... --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:12, May 20

Wow! That's kinda cool, actually! As for OEJ, he reviewed stuff before I really got going, so I have no idea how to find out. He mostly reviews in the old style, and I didn't find that particularly effective.   Le Cejak • <May 20, 2008 [13:18]>