User talk:Bomb

Welcome!

Hello, Bomb, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, ask an administrator on their talk page or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:46, 31 January 2008 (UTC)

Pee Review, specifically that one...

Hey there Bombs, I noticed you took the time to review this. While we are ALWAYS happy to have members of the Uncyclopedia community do reviews, we do like to hold to a certain standard of quality, which your review seems to be a bit low on. Never fear! If you read this, before long, you just may be reviewing like this! Don’t allow yourself to worry too much about this message, we all were n00b reviewers once (Amazingly, even UU was a n00b at one point…) But randomness aside, I look forward to the possibility of a better review from you. Have a great day! Warm Regards, Javascap

To: Mr. Joey "Asplode" Bomb

Welcome to the mafia! Just a few tips, most of the guys (and girl) hang out here, and stay up-to-date on mafia business here. Our Capo Bastone Delegato should help you set up an account at our bank, and you might wanna stop by to make a donation here every once in a while. Need help? Take it up to our help department and they'll solve your problems in no time. Business aside, have fun! -- C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum 18:21, 11 November 2008 (UTC)

IC reminder

Hi Bomb, just dropping by to let you know that we haven't seen you at IC in a couple weeks. Maybe you've been busy, maybe you've been on a two week bender, but regardless of your excuse, we need you. Imperial Colonization is all about participation, and being a Colonizer requires an active commitment. If you're not up for it, there's nothing wrong with that. Just let us know. But if you do wish to continue calling yourself a Colonizer, get out there on the front lines, maggit! (If you do not participate in this coming week, we will be forced to remove you from the roster.) Cheers! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:27, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

Dear Valued Mafia Member,

Dear Valued Mafioso,

I am very sorry to be encroaching on your talkpage. Please feel free to move this message without incurring the wrath of the mob. You are, whether you remember or not, a member of the Uncyclopedia Mafia. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, the Family has been inactive recently. However, members of the Family believe that now is the time for our little business to burst back into the spotlight.

Mafia 2.0 promises:

• MORE violence
• MORE whores
• MORE gambling
• MORE guns
• MORE pointless awards
• MORE positions to be filled
• MORE of an actual purpose

The Mafia Pledge:

The Uncyclopedia mafia hereby declares its intention to be a family business dedicated to welcoming, socialising with and being friendly to new users, in an attempt to integrate them into the Uncyclopedia community, offering help to any Uncyclopedia user who wants assistance and looking to promote merriment within the Uncyclopedia community.

As a current member we are proposing that you should help the Family, once more, by becoming an active member. We humbly present you with the following options:

1. Simply reply here, saying you are willing to continue being a member of the Mafia.
2. Sign the code {{u|<insert name here>}} here to opt out of the Mafia.
3. If you do not reply within ten (10) days you will deemed inactive and stripped of your current full Mafia membership.
4. Reply here saying you are willing to continue as part of the Mafia and then request one of the several senior roles within the Mafia that need filling at my office.

As of 21:37 7 August 2010 the following roles within the Mafia require filling. If you would like one of the positions please request it at the above mentioned office.

• Personal Secretary to the Don (with special privileges)
• Capo Bastone (deputy to the Don)
• Chariman of the Italian branch of the family
• Capo Bastone Delegato (deputy to the Capo Bastone)

Yours Sincerely,
Don Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
[18:29 7 August 2010]