User talk:Ahadwick
You Are An Unwilling Participant in a Nefarious Competition![edit source]
Hello, Ahadwick, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!
You might think that you're being welcomed because you are liked.
Well
You have been misinformed. You are not liked.
Well, maybe a little.
Especially if you made a cake. Did you?
Anyway *clears throat*
The reason you have been welcomed is because members of an evil group, known as The Welcoming Committee are trying to score as many new members as possible to win some obscure statistic. Confused? So are we.
Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the airlock right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Don't forget the big red button marked "EJECT".
Here are a few good links for people new to this psychotic wiki:
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page.
Consider yourself welcomed. Now get to work! -- ~
22:09, May 20, 2010 (UTC)
UnNews:Greece destabilises Europe[edit source]
Thanks for your UnNews, which has been visited by the Chief and two other users and tugged in a few new directions. A few general notes: If you don't have a real source, you need not make one up; instead, use {{Original}}, as I've now put in your article. And I wish you had conjured up a name for your "official source"--a real news story wouldn't run an anonymous quote. I've recorded your story on UnNews Audio and added your name to UnNews:UnNewsAudio#Other writers whose stuff got broadcast. Add your national flag, if you care. Spıke ¬ 16:43 22-May-10
Welcome to UnNews from the Chief[edit source]
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On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! |
Welcome to UnNews, Ahadwick, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.
I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.
You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.
If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.
Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.
Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.
- This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)
Preview Button[edit source]
Instead of editin' something sixteen times, you can totally just press 'preview' and see it before savin'. Love,
Award from UN:REQ[edit source]
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This user created Brandenburg Gate, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome! |
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This user created Pippi Longstocking, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome! |
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This user created Calamari, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome! |
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This user created Reader's Digest, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome! |
Welcome Back[edit source]
Just in case you believe Uncyclopedia has missed your return after 2 years. --
RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:29, April 30, 2012 (UTC)
Nice UnNews![edit source]
I put it on the frontpage, great to see Ireland is hell-bent on achieving excellence in all fields! lol. Seriously, these perverts should be hanged. Welcome back, I'm the UnNews manager, janitor and coffee maker. I look forward to reading your stuff. :) 
Mattsnow 18:53, May 3, 2012 (UTC)
- UnNews:Tragic misunderstanding leads to hotel shooting Hahaha, scary how things can degenerate in a jiffy! I made a couple of very small modifications. Nice one! :)
Mattsnow 00:06, June 23, 2012 (UTC)