User:Zombiebaron/MainPage

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

Sophia has inspired us to work on 37,628 articles since opening in January 2005.

Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five.

A typical terrorist weapon - note that it is readily assembled from everyday household materials
Vote for featured images »

Today's featured article

Misquoting Jesus is a 2005 book by University of North Carolina professor Bart Ehrman on the composition of the New Testament. Ehrman, a former evangelical Christian, argues that scriptural errors are so rampant in the gospels and Pauline epistles that it proves difficult, if not impossible, to determine the authors' original intentions.

Upon publication, the book's assertion that many commonly accepted Christian stories, such as the woman caught in adultery, the "Johannine comma" and the Parable of the Windsurfers were added later created a storm of protest within conservative Christian circles. An almost immediate backlash began, with preachers contesting Ehrman's assertions that the bass guitar did not exist in first century Palestine, or that St. Peter did not, in fact, save Herod's Temple from the Romans with a breakdancing contest. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Pikmin

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured.

More of the best of Uncyclopedia

Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop

edit

Selected anniversaries

I told you man, I TOLD you about stairs!

April 13: National Falling Down The Stairs Day (United States)

1 AD - Jesus Christ and the Buddha form the seminal gangster rap duo, Shakyamuni and the JC.
1597 - The first Yo mamma joke: "Thy moth'r wast so bacon-fed those gents did need a tree to pierce her maidenhead."
1984 - Ingsoc releases minitrue-approved rap artist "Doubleplus Hardcore", is disbanded after recording song Fuck Tha Thoughtpolice.
1985 - The Space Shuttle Challenger is dubbed "Unexplodable" by NASA at a news conference.
1997 - Tiger Woods becomes the youngest player to win the Masters Tournament by getting a hole in one in every round that he has played.
2009 - Popular webcomic Homestuck gets created, eventually creates a fandom full of teen angsty emos that will doom the Internet for the rest of its lifespan.
2010 - EU demands cash from Iceland. Iceland sends ash, Europe buggered for weeks.

Archived Anniversaries

Word of the day[edit | edit source]

amorphous
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is powerful.

edit

In the news

Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured)
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA
Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe)

Need advice? Ask Cthulhu!

More Current Events at UnNews News

edit

Did you know...

... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?

Do you care...[edit | edit source]

... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.

Read More

edit

Recent articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.