User:Xander/Random prose
Introducing random prose from pages that I may or may not make. Enjoy!
Car Wars[edit | edit source]
As the nice Mercedes Benz sedan was moving along, it was unaware of a presence watching it. The Eye, enraged, charged into it with great force; making it EXPLODE!!! Why wasn't anyone feeling sad? Well, let me tell you this, that was a Matchbox car and that thing crashing into it is no other than the Eye of Cthulhu... Plush! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, (obviously not) Steve Jackson's Car Wars!
Kid Chameleon[edit | edit source]
“This isn't that much of a problem.”
“DIE!”
Some time after Alex Kidd: Quest to Play More Games Brought to You by the Bodacious Dudes at Sega, the arcade came out with a brand new virtual reality action game- WildSide. Despite being very popular with users at the time, the boss gained sentinence and kidnapped them. It was up to one man to save the arcade, if not, the world from the menace known as Heady Metal: Casey, the Kid Chameleon. Along with the likes of Golden Axe and the crossover between Double Dragon and Battletoads, this title helped define the Mega Drive with its wide array of levels and difficulty which is nothing compared to I Wanna Be the Guy (even though, it's pretty hard). There will be times where you will be screwed over, mainly by chance- be prepared. Several sequels (made primarily by fans) have been produced, upping the challenge of an already sadistic game. It is also very popular amongst speedrunners, with the bonuses adding up later in the game. Even the credits acknowledge how insane the idea was. Then again, it's the 90s- a generation glorifying youth. Here's some awesome music from it. Enjoy.
June[edit | edit source]
“...If we survive this battle, I want you to euthanise me.”
Dryads are pretty legendary creatures, helping maintain the balance in the world. One individual would rule over them, guiding them through tought times. June is the Dryad princess. Like many others, she possesses a knack for adventure and contempt to help her people.
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New UnPoetia[edit | edit source]
The Masters came,
They brought us a gift.
Something big,
Which can cause a rift,
Where people can create masterpieces with twigs.
It is a place to retreat, to find solace
Someday, they can call us
And tell of their upcoming changes
Regarding the form of nature
Curiosity rules amongst the majority
It is encouraged, for the guarantee of purity
When the dark forces rise,
We must take the time to purify.
Make sure you're set,
We will those monsters regret
Roaming and killing our friends.
They will come back to speak of the horrors
In our domain, where we divide the land in quarters.
Order is dealt, swiftly or strictly,
Making griefers very unlucky.
They are the second, besides the monsters,
That threaten our land any longer.
Alternate disambuigation (Boris)[edit | edit source]
Oops! Did you mean:
- The British fellow?
- The Commie?
- The horror film producer?
- The cute and cuddly Terraria character?
- Boris the rubber ducky?
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This is a disambiguation page. This means absolutely nothing. Or maybe it means something. |
Too Many Cooks[edit | edit source]
Marsupilami[edit | edit source]
Vic Viper[edit | edit source]
“The points presented in this editorial seem perfectly legitimate for a product that doesn't exist, but I'll give the author credit for trying.”
Vic Viper is a racing game set in the Gradius universe which was released by Konami (of course) sometime in the year 1998. As expected, players select a starfighter from the series so far and race each other on various courses centered towards it. To those who are familiar, this concept of a title in the series with no combat whatsoever would be outrageous. However, it was done. Actually, Konami has passed some subtle hints towards Vic Viper as time went by.
The clues[edit | edit source]
One of the first and most important clues came from the manual of Life Force for the NES, which introduced many innovations that would help define the series as it is today. The passage states:
| “ | The people of Latis have always been known for their wondorous
engineering skills, and the RoadBritish Space Destroyer proves it. In fact, this is the only starship in the galaxy to have beaten the Vic Viper during time trials. |
” |
Time trials are a regular in the world of motorsport and there's no doubt that they would appear in the near future. Like many other proses, this passage is open to ambiguation towards the future of the Gradius series and where it lies. Come to think about it, the potential is great and best enacted with patience and dedication. Then again, why would these people use the fighters for space races? Well, stay tuned and you'll find out soon.
Story[edit | edit source]
Every game we play or every movie/TV program that we watch comes to an end at some point in time and it asks us: "What happens next?" Well, sequels are meant for this but they usually don't take place directly after the endings of their predecessors. In this case, what happens after you beat the Bacterian overlord at hand? How do the people celebrate? How are the fighters kept in shape? In their spare time, inhabitants of Sub-Space would race each other in the ships with grand prix events boasting promises of big money and danger. You happen to be a participant in one of these events with those promises in mind. Choosing a planet, you represent it and prove your skills against the others in friendly competition. Upon victory, the planet in 2nd place will enact a request for the winner. The machines, similar to Final Lap, are capable of linking up with each other allowing for multiplayer chaos with 8 players. The success of this project has led itself to a sequel which bears faith to the original.
More...