User:Xamralco/archive2

The Talking

If I were in the raping mood I'd rape your talk page. But I'm not, so I'll ask your talk page out to dinner and a movie, in hopes of a delightful evening of talk page on talk page rape sex. Aleister 22:15 31-1-'12

But I thought that you weren't in the raping mood. <Begins crying as talkpage masturbates to Aleister's rape fantasy> -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:23, January 31, 2012 (UTC)

lol, now you've grossed me out. /runs away screaming Al 22:30 31-1-'12

Congrats

	Uncyclopedian of the Month January 2012

--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 13:02, February 1, 2012 (UTC)

God's userpage

That big image breaks the page on lower res browsing. One thing that can be done is to stick it in a div that has style="width: 100%; overflow: hidden;". Pup 11:31 01 Feb '12

Could you please add that, I have no idea what that means (I'm bad at coding). -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:16, February 2, 2012 (UTC)

I'm on my phone and at work, so not at the moment I can't. May do later. Pup 04:10 02 Feb '12

Okay, thanks. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:10, February 2, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 3 February 2012

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February 3th, 2012 • Issue 156 • There might be wild hungry cows on the loose!

On Felonies And Awards By RAHB Hello. I was sitting in the study this evening, sipping imported white jasmine tea while reading Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus, Rachmaninoff's Symphony No. 2 in E Minor proudly flowing into the room by way of a full orchestra I had composed of Hungarian slave children I'd purchased on the black market, when it suddenly hit me. I realized that there should be a way to communicate to the Uncyclopedian community (as well as our friends down at the Springfield Elk's Lodge, who hold a free shrimp buffet every second Wednesday) that the yearly awards for 2011 had been recently voted on, tallied, and awarded to their respective award-winners. Then it hit me, again! "Reginald," I said to myself aloud, severely confusing the few English-speaking members of my illegal young orchestra, "Why not personally drive across the world in an old Ford Torino, spreading the excellent news to everyone?" This idea was bound to work. In short, it didn't work. I'd explain the whole sordid tale, but I need to leave room in this thing for the actual news itself, so without further adieu (I do, too), here are your 2011 "...Of The Year" winners. Writer of the Year - Black flamingo11 and Sog1970 Uncyclopedian of the Year - Zombiebaron Potatochopper of the Year - Lyrithya Useless Gobshite of the Year - Roman Dog Bird and Lyrithya (cheaters) Zombiebaron of the Year - Zombiebaron and Zombiebaron (Runner-up: Zombiebaron) Congratulations to all winners, formerly prospective winners, nominees who didn't have a shot in hell at becoming winners, and Virgil Gordon of the Springfield Elk's Lodge, who last week correctly guessed the exact number of jelly beans inside of the mason jar that was set out in front of the lodge. Unfortunately, no prize was associated with guessing that there were 592 beans in the jar, as it was not intended as a contest, but as a mere decoration. In the future, the lodge will explicitly state the purpose of all jelly bean-filled mason jars by way of a small cardboard sign propped up against the jar. The Top 10 Articles of 2011 voting is also finished, but all of them haven't been re-featured and listed yet, so we're not going to mention that we know the winners until next week. Thank you for your support By PIGGY Good morning, Uncyclopedians (or evening, or possibly afternoon, depending on where you happen to be when you happen to read this). It is with high honour and big words that I announce that I have the utmost appreciation for your fine community here; for all of the squabbles on discussion pages and intractable behavioural issues demonstrated therein, you all have yet again exceeded even the highest expectations. Yes, you had the courage and decency to support me in my quest for wiki-domination, elevating my to the position of sysop, an endeavour for which I am tremendously grateful. As much as it would please me to richly reward you all for this show of faith, however, I must regretfully inform you that as a sockpuppet and general test account of User:Lyrithya, I am not actually authorised to act in any capacity exceeding the plausible scope of productivity and the odd prank or two. My sincerest apologies.

Check out these pages! This seems dangerous... I told you it was dangerous! This is all that damn monkey's fault! Well, go on... Skyrim-related bans: Modusoperandi changed block settings for Lyrithya with an expiry time of 1 hour (Overcharging for empty soul crystals.) Modusoperandi blocked ChiefjusticeDS with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (Failing to take advantage of the "rested bonus".) ChiefjusticeDS blocked Lyrithya with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (I shall set upon thee with my artificially increased smithing and enchanting skills. You shall perish beneath the world's largest stack of Iron daggers.) Lyrithya blocked GEORGIEGIBBONS with an expiry time of 32 seconds ‎ (How dare you mention Skyrim in my presense!) Lyrithya blocked Under user with an expiry time of 10 minutes ‎ (Oh, High Hrothgar, is it? You know what? I'll just take this opportunity to push you off the throat of the world... there's a nice glitched rock down there for you to get stuck in. ) Lyrithya blocked ChiefjusticeDS with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ ([1] - Seriously?) WP:ANI humour! Oh, I must have missed it when they changed policy so that we just take a suspected sockpuppet's word that he's not a sockpuppet. Raul654 (talk) 19:21, 2 February 2012 (UTC) That principle was established in 2010: [2] [3] SandyGeorgia (Talk) 19:28, 2 February 2012 (UTC) Something happened to the UnSignpost staff They all disappeared. What happened? Where did they go? Will there ever be any more UnSignposts after this? A diagram of a hammer: Anatomy

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:12, 3 February 2012

Little Notice Thingy

Am I getting credit on God's userpage if it gets featured? I actually did a lot of work on the page...although it's your call. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 5 February 2012, at 01:15

I did sweet fuck-all work on it. Not that it's relevant at all. Pup 02:04 05 Feb '12

According to your contributions, these are the only related changes you made to that: [4] [5] [6] [7], and some minor edits to the talkpage (I'd link them, but they were deleted in the merge). While Uncyclopedia certainly needs more of that kind of editing throughout, it's not exactly what is generally considered significant, or a lot, on a single article. While this may kind of emphasise why the whole feature credit thing is somewhat dumb, that's a whole other ball of undead geese. 1234 ~ 02:24, 5 February 2012

I was definitely planning to give Lollipop credit for the God's userpage article, as he did a ton of stuff on the talkpage. If you look at User:Xamralco/bibliography, you'll see that I did give him credit, along with PopGoesTheWeasel, who did even less than him. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:49, February 5, 2012 (UTC)

Yay Lollipop, maybe now you'll come back again and not let your grumpier sides get you down. Come back, come back. And Xamralco, thanks for saving Yoda. I just looked and even though it needs work I can't figure out why it was huffed. A vital article too! Aleister 15:38 5-2-'12

Yeah, I figured I'd rework it a bit and then mainspace it. I'm also completely rewriting Tapeworms, though right now I only have one sentence. If you have anything you want to add to either article, feel free. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:45, February 5, 2012 (UTC)

Just looked and did a couple tweaks. So yes, thank you, I'll join the fun. It's not too far from being a feature, not far at all it is. So let's play with it, but maybe not too much for me today, as Super Sunday it is and drinks and parties there be. Aleister 16:00 5-2-'12

Give me 40 lashes

Right now, I need 40 lashes. I just "read" your Why IP's can't edit the main page page, and when it was featured I was gone and I didn't look at it when I voted for the top 10 of the year, and if I had I would have given it my vote and my two other (sockpuppets Chief and Lyteriya) votes for sure. What a great article page, yay. Aleikster 00:49 7-2-'12

Thanks. I'm glad you like it. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:55, February 7, 2012 (UTC)

Well, you should have had my vote, and whatever you tied as should be one more, and it's my mistake for not looking at it sooner. I feel lower than a possum with its head between its legs puking on a tinier possum, its own mother. lol possum. Al 00:58 7-2-'12

UnSignpost - 10 February 2012

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February 10th, 2012 • Issue 157 • Ack! Ack! Ack!

Something happened this week. By RAHB Hello, Uncyclopedia. I don't think it's any secret to you all that something of utmost importance happened this previous week. Even with a coconut beer hangover, you'd surely be blind not to notice the far-reaching repercussions associated with this very important event that recently happened. Oh sure, I know there are those of you who believe that it really isn't all that big a deal. And there are those of you who will pretend to be aloof, and act like you know nothing about it. And, as always, there will be those of you who believe this is all simply a plot executed by the insidious Uncyclopedia Cabal (which does not exist) to try to crush the will of regular users, enhance power in the English quadrant, and advance their attempts at obtaining an M&Ms machine for the dump. We here at the UnSignpost would like to remind you that these claims are ridiculously unsubstantiated. Except, of course, for the bit about the M&Ms. In the coming days, the aftershock of these events will come to a screaming peak, as countless forum topics are created, talk-page flamewars are started, and before you know it we're experiencing a virtual Titus Andronicus effect being enacted upon our peaceful wiki. When asked for comment, Modusoperandi will say something unrelated, yet witty, and we'll all step back for a moment and realize what's happening to us. We will then continue on in our back-and-forth for an indeterminate amount of time, probably zombifying the topic several times over before it finally fizzes out later on down the line, then being re-awoken and used to adopt new site policy. This, in turn, will spawn a similarly detailed UnSignpost story, if we're still around by then. Personally I blame this all on the one who was holding the watermelon at the time. You know who you are. You disgust me. Shit Happens Editorial by a guy who has been exposed to shit for a long, long time Shit Happens all the time. Lets say ... you're drinking some kind of soda and it accidentally spills onto your shirt. Or you are biting on a burger when you accidentally choke to death but nobody cares. Or your penis falls off. Anyway, my point is, there are some negatives in life but you must learn to tolerate them .. especially when you're a fat ass who sits in your room spending your entire life consuming hotdogs and giggling at comedies on television while jacking off to classical fucks and trolling on the Internet which is absolutely, absolutely, NOT ME. So always be positive, even when your balls drop off. Or your penis. Or even your cat. Because as you know, the World isn't fair ever since some dick with an ass of a triangle set foot on this Earth. So get used to life, and if you can, get used to the dicks who banned your ass and spammed your page which is also, absolutely, absolutely, NOT ME. Oh, and always remember to stay on the bright side even if you are found lying naked with an underwear eight times the size of your penis and you get arrested, get thrown in jail, get beaten up by a kid who apparently isn't a kid and get castrated unintentionally while having a sandwich crammed down your throat trying to squat in a cell and you finally get out after 5 years only to get run down by an ass in a car and you get admitted to hospital but a doctor feeds you the wrong medicine and you rot away and die and you get dumped into the sewers. So remember kids ... always be posi-

Check out these pages! What? Yeah. Duh. Wow. Huh? From our logs: MrN9000 blocked 168.216.126.200 with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(You need to use the toilet) Lyrithya blocked Zana Dark with an expiry time of 13 seconds ‎(I'd never blocked you. I felt left out.) Romartus blocked 86.12.164.5 with an expiry time of 6 months ‎(You have form sir. Six months living on moths for you.) RAHB changed block settings for Pisippo with an expiry time of infinite (Wonderful way to respond to a one-hour ban. I salute your arrogance.) RAHB blocked 86.186.208.180 with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Yes, hello. Stop creating utter shite, please. Thanks.) MrN9000 blocked Eddie1334 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Although what you say may be true, you still get banned. Surprisingly.) Slime mold of the week: Stemonitis sp. Questions of the Week Q: Am I supposed to be in here? User: Haydrahlienne A: Yes, you can be in here as long as you want. Just don't touch the monkey. Or the cheese. And don't eat the last biscuit. Also avoid upsetting our editor as he has a temper and a shotgun under his desk....Actually, you should just go. Q: Have you answered all of the questions on this page? User:RAHB A: We don't know, why don't you tell us? (A paradox for a paradox. Ball is in your court RAHB) Custom box #4 of the Week Custom box #4 is quite the Custom box #4. In fact, not only has it been named Custom box #4 of the Week, but it's expected to be high in the running for Custom box #4 of the Year, if the other custom boxes start pulling their weight. Whatever the case may be, individual awards aside, there's not a doubt in any Custom box #4 enthusiast's mind that when, one day, Custom box #4 walks down the long and distinguished path of retirement, it'll be immediately greeted by the opening of the gate to the coveted Custom box #4 Hall Of Fame.

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 10:26, 10 February 2012

Your happy monkey topic

Your topic my dear Xamralco is: UnBooks:The journey of the ugly kitten.

1. Write the article on your namespace
2. I'll be judging the articles based on creativity, originality and cleverness.
3. Good luck, you have until tomorrow night (23.59 UTC, 6:59PM ET) to finish.

(happy monkey just did a triple summer assault!)

--ShabiDOO 11:56, February 11, 2012 (UTC)

Am I missing out on something?

Why don't I know about this Happy monkey shit? What is this about? TELL ME BEFORE I KILL YOUR CAT

It's a conspiracy!!!!!! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:45, February 13, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 18 February 2012

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The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

February 18th, 2012 • Issue 158 • This is the place to be for the end of the world show.

Important competition news By The Cabal (which doesn't exist) As you all are no doubt aware due to paying the utmost attention to that which goes on around you, there was a competition this week, or possibly last week, or at very least, at some point relatively recently. This competition was the 2012 Happy Monkey Competition, in which various contestants competed to do something possibly monkey-related. According to the sitenotice, it is wrapping up around now, waiting only for the judges to show up and do their damn jobs, or, as the case may be, leave already so the janitor can clean up; it's not the competition hosts' fault you're homeless, and it's not their job to provide you with shelter past the allotted judging hours. What the rest of you may be less aware of, however, is certain controversy that has inevitably sprung up about this contest. Allegations of unfairness in proctoring and judging and a general lack of effective organisation and topics have no doubt sprung up, as they invariably do with every competition. Complications have also indubitably arisen from the tendencies of certain individuals to simply do things without asking, and of others to ask first and then ignore the responses. Rest assured, for the cabal is watching, and all who disturb the order of things will be dealt with accordingly. MOAR PENIS By RAHB Penisman has been sorely under-utilized as of late. In fact, he's been sorely under-utilized as of recent, and sorely under-utilized as of the past while as well. I just have one thing to say about this... Prepare for World Domination By Oliphaunte After a pro-longed session of drinking high-quality whiskey and smoking imported Cuban cigars, the fate of the world was finally decided between the Oli brothers. The western world, under the dominion of the English Empire and her colonies, would come under the complete control of King Olipro, while the eastern world consisting of the USSR and the powerful nation of Monaco would come under the control of Head Commissioner Oliphaunte. The two leaders would then combine their powerful empires into one global superpower and conquer all the little nations with their armies of pirate robots and Flying undead pilots. After which, a spaceship made completely out of cotton balls and masking tape would be launched to conquer Mars, Saturn, Venus, Uranus, and Neptune. Not Pluto, though, because that's no longer a planet. Instead, the two Olies will construct a replica Star Wars deathstar, which will be painted completely blue to avoid copyright infringement with Lucasarts (George Lucas now owns nuclear devices and becomes unstable when his trademarks are re-created without permission), and will use it to blow up Pluto for the hell of it. The planets will then be under the jurisdiction of the top friends of the two Olies. Saturn will go to Zombiebaron, Mars will go to Lyrithya, Neptune will go to Black flamingo11, Venus will go to Dr. Skullthumper and Uranus will go to Mattsnow simply because he wouldn't stop laughing when we told him Uranus was conquered. Now that the plan and been decided and the gears are in motion, it's only a matter of time before the entire world is conquered by Uncyclopedia, and everyone will be forced to contribute at least one article everyday about how great their overlords, Oliphaunte, Olipro, and friends, truly are! Mwhahahahahahha. Ha? It was then that Oliphaunte woke up in a back alley somewhere in Atlantic City with a dozen empty bottles of whiskey, a bag a hemp, and a calling card for male prostitutes. There was also a note next to him that read, "You got drunk and threw up on my living room rug, so I flew you to Atlantic city, beat you up, and left you with a bunch of male hookers. Also, stole you Hageen-Daaz from the freezer. -Love, Olipro." Oliphaunte then realized that the plan for world domination was just a dream...Oh well, at least he has rollbacks now.

Check out these pages! Potatochopping. Who are you? WHAT THE FUCK! New Award of the Month. From our logs: Sockpuppet of an unregistered user blocked 90.217.205.53 with an expiry time of 2 hours (You're so hilarious I have to ban you for two hours.) Thekillerfroggy blocked Buffsfootball6 with an expiry time of 2 weeks (all due respect (none), but my fat friend is like twice as fat probably) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 142.227.189.60 with an expiry time of 3 Days (Inserting Vanity: and generally failing to cause me to laugh uproariously. ) Roman Dog Bird blocked 218.185.79.222 with an expiry time of 1 week (My dog could kick your ass and he's small.) Excuse of the Week Hi, it's Lyrithya. Sorry for not being around much; I got the bright idea to reinstall the operating systems on my laptops on Monday and that kind of killed all my spare time since. Well, that and the beading. Also got the bright idea on Wednesday to buy a whack-load of beads and try to turn them into jewellery. To that end, so far I've only managed to chemically melt some peacock feathers together, but I have high hopes for the rest of it. And on the plus side, KDE works. Sort of. It's kind of slow. On Windows, at least. Anyway, if anyone was wondering, this would probably be why nobody remembered to write the UnSignpost for this week until now. Other Excuse of the Week Hi, it's RAHB. Sorry for the UnSignpost being late, but my hard drive blew up this week. And then other stuff happened. This would probably be why I didn't remind anybody to write the UnSignpost for this week. A Word From Zombiebaron Nothing notable happened to my computer this week, and, therefore, I don't really have an excuse for this week's late UnSignpost. Well Hello. My Name is Oliphaunte And I now have rollbacks. What's your user protection level? None? Well, that must suck for you. I wouldn't know cause, well, I've got rollbacks. You know that ludacris song "Rollout"? Yea, that's essentially my life right now, but with rollbacks. You know what that makes me feel like? A badass. Why am I a badass? Because I've got rollbacks. My name is Oliphaunte and I approve this rollbacked message.

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:57, 18 February 2012

You just just just just just slipped into the winners circle

No ... totally joking. Im super glad the other judges agreed and got you into the top three. Your article really sticked out and it's more than just funny and creative and original and clever ... its also very conceptual and will surely be featured in no time. Congratulation Xamralco!!! --ShabiDOO 04:39, February 20, 2012 (UTC)

Nice work!

I liked your page a lot, and was glad you picked up nice scores and comments. Playing Happy Monkey was so much fun that I've had one of those monkey operations and now have fur. Aleister 12:02 20-2-'12

UnSignpost - 23 February 2012

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Now With 0 Trans Fat!

February 23rd, 2012 • Issue 159 • FUS RO Journalism!

Softly softly, happy Monkey By Chief Now we here at the UnSignpost would be the first to admit that our coverage of the Happy Monkey Competition has amounted to less than the laser show of words that you were probably expecting. It is a sincere regret of the UnSignpost that it has been unable to provide any sort of meaningful coverage of a competition which describes itself as 'pure awesomeness' on its signup page. The competition successfully concluded this week and Aleister in Chains was declared the overall winner. We were privileged not to catch up with Aleister regarding this, and you shouldn't consider it either. In second and third were ICameHereInACloche and Xamralco, who lost slightly less than everyone else. For those who don't know how the scores for the Happy Monkey competition are calculated, it is by a simple process of getting the judges to rate an article out of ten in a table, much like this one, adding all their scores up, then throwing them in the bin and letting Shabidoo decide who the winner should be. The UnSignpost is very impressed with Shabidoo's ingenuity in overruling the opinions of his peers and stomping on the faces of his enemies. Those who enjoyed the Happy Monkey should take note of Shabidoo's next competition which he calls "Forced labour in a Salt Mine, while I eat grapes and sit on a deck chair". The competition has furnished Uncyclopedia with sixteen new articles. A splendid achievement; asked just how he had done this by Mattsnow, Shabidoo replied: "Raisins! Never underestimate the alure of raisins!". The UnSignpost fervently hopes that Dr. Skullthumper is still reading the UnSignpost so that he can take this knowledge and use it to save us from ourselves, a task he accomplishes at present by lurking on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel and successfully saying the word 'penis' more than anyone else. For the fans of long unbroken blocks of text among you, this week saw the arrival of this forum in which Thekillerfroggy sets out his agenda to sell Uncyclopedia to "the man" piece by piece. He also thinks that we should bring back cash prizes, introduce a daily editing charge and require that an article can only be featured on the front page if it also attempts to sell the reader discount Viagra. Finally an administrator who isn't afraid to say what we're all thinking: "When am I ever going to get some sort of financial return for editing this humour wiki?". The last word this week goes to Modusoperandi who asks: "Is there code to keep the ads and hide the pages?". The Forum By Chief TheHappySpaceman just can't wait for April Fools day. He's so desperately excited that he has started a forum in which we can all plot and scheme about just how we will take in the entire world this April 1st. ICameHereInACloche wasted no time in suggesting that we make Uncyclopedia good for April fools day and was, quite rightly, kicked down a flight of steps by Olipro, who pointed out that it's April fools day and not Christmas. The discussion is needless anyway since I have already decided that we should do absolutely nothing for April Fools day. Except, and here's the catch and the really clever bit, we make it look like we have. We'll all sit on IRC going "Lol" at all the plebs who arrive on the website going "OMG WHAT'S CHANGED???". Shabidoo wants to know what your name is! It's not creepy at all! There's a lot of discussion going on regarding huffing! No need to read any of it, just remember that you should FIX IT, DON'T {{FIX}} IT. Administrators take note, or PuppyOnTheRadio will come to your talk page and make you feel very bad indeed. The bad news is that BHOP still exists and TheHappySpaceman is using it to plug his very own award. He could least haven chosen something that Aleister might not win every month. In conclusion: don't go to BHOP. It's not nice there.

Check out these pages! Who knows? Who agrees? Who knew? Who dunnit? Who cares? From our logs: 15:54, February 22, 2012 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Right that's it. You are totally banned, and your services are no longer required on Uncyclopedia. (For the next 5 mins). 07:15, February 22, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman Dog Bird's anal leakage (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Why don't we ever get any pleasant vandal usernames? Like "Roman dog bird's lovely petunias" or something.) 07:20, February 22, 2012 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Roman dog bird's lovely petunias (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Thank you.) 02:52, February 20, 2012 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Sergeant Stud Krug Againist Vandalz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Thanks for fighting against Vandalz, here is an early retirement) 23:06, February 18, 2012 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked RAHB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1234 seconds ‎ (For putting Penisman into the UnSignpost. MY EYES!) Biopic of the Week Just what is a "Cloche" and how does one come here in one? This question has troubled me ever since I decided that I must biopic ICameHereInACloche. It turns out that a Cloche could be many things. It could be the French word for Bell, but how on earth would this humorous fellow have reached the shores of Uncyclopedia in a bell unless the bell were pushed down a steep hill? A cloche can also be a horticultural tool for covering up vegetables, but it very notably does not come second in the Happy Monkey competition, nor could one get anywhere if one were covering up vegetables. Perhaps this writer of legend came here as part of the classical ballet movement: battement en cloche? It would explain all the dancing. The cold hard truth of the matter is that we don't know what a cloche might be, but we know that this user has come in one, but not in that way. All those who haven't should read this splendid article and perhaps his userpage if they have an abundance of free time. Readers are also discouraged from sending us examples of the things they have come in; we were almost killed by the last one. A message from Under user Now that I don't ban people, I don't get in the signpost much. solution: more people need to ban me. with good, funny, creative reasons. it's not much to ask, huh? BAN UNDER USER! Newsroom UnTune of the Week Stalker

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~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:48, 23 February 2012

The Cat in the Hat

I rewrote the last section entirely - a botched burglary is more funny than a shooting, IMHO. I'm removing the fix tag for now, since I think its funnier. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:08, February 25, 2012 (UTC)

Yeah, it's better. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 13:22, February 27, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 1 March 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

We're delivering it to your door anyways!

March 1, 2012 • Issue 160 • You are all about to die.

Nothing. By Magic man So I got up this morning, ate some breakfast and watched some television, ya know, just normal morning stuff. Then I decided it was time for me to check Uncyclopedia, as I do every day. So I walk over to my computer, turn on the screen and bring up Safari. I go to Uncyclopedia, log in and what do I see? Oh, I'll tell you what I saw. This thing that I saw was so terrible, I almost died. What I saw was... NOTHING. C'mon, guys, can't you do anything? Start a competition, a new exciting forum, even drama! Anything! I mean, I can't be expected to entertain myself, can I? And to any of you smart-asses out there who tell me that nothing is something in and of itself, shut up and go fall in a hole full of pointy objects; you know what that would be helping by telling me that? Take a guess. News? By Drunk editorial staff For those with eyes in their brains and mugs in their ale, it should be clear that all manner of very important things have been occurring in the news. Or is this the news? Well, you get the idea. Apparently Uncyclopedians, Shabidoo in particular, think there is something wrong with the site. While this is indoubti-bi-tubby the case, a more pressing concern we must bring up is this: has there ever been anything right with the site? Today the scare involves NotM, a highly prestigious award won by all the people who aren't here right now, and how it creates problems in regards to new editor retention, despite the minor issue that we would have to have new editors in the first place in order to retain any of them. Another scare involves the complete lack of sufficient delete votes on VFD, along with the fact that Sycamore wants to decrease the maximum number of active votes there to 14 when 15 would in fact be a much more round number, and to decrease the score required to delete things from 5 to 4, when 5 is also a much more round number. We suspect Sycamore just has something against round numbers, probably due to some childhood trauma or something, unless it turns out that these are the wrong notes and it was someone else who wanted to do all that. Everything's so blurry. In other news, Wikia broke the site again, our illustrious admins keep forgetting to update the feature queue, VFP is lacking an appropriate number of votes, containing only the nominations of three images by Zombiebaron, who demands that more people vote for them because pi is awesome, and Uncyclopedia needs more sharons. And I really need to lie down. Profit! By a representative of Murdoch press Profit! A word that has dogged Uncyclopedia, most especially those pages doomed to huffing, for years. A concept that we, as a community, have overlooked in our time, and need to bring the focus back to.  A user has recently pointed out that as a community, we are forgetting this one fundamental principle. Our growth - nay, our very survival - depends on this principle. We need to become part of the corporate machine to further our plans of world domination. To do this, we may need to advertise, and to pay for quality submissions. Now many of you may be afraid of this. Change can be frightening, and after all, our last venture into the world of capitalism has left us falling short of the desired funds to purchase the Ferrari promote the site in the manner we were hoping for.  The point is, ladies and gentleman, that profit, for lack of a better word, is good. Profit is right, profit works. Profit clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Profit, in all of its forms; profit for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And profit, you mark my words, will not only save Uncyclopedia, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the USA. Thank you very much. Editor's note: This is most certainly not a veiled attempt by the resident money launderers to give them something to launder. The people want this. They already have a number of ideas relating to the promotion and growth of the site, and want your feedback so they can have feedback! Yes!

Check out these pages! Money? Normal? Possible? Sensible? Eh? From our logs: Romartus blocked GarethPW with an expiry time of infinite (Block test (no cause for alarm yet)) Sockpuppet of an unregistered user blocked 69.34.161.38 with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Try to be more original next time. Cocks and anuses are so cliché.) RAHB blocked Ormiston College with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And the worst user account in the world.) Tom mayfair blocked Wikipedialyte with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Inserting true information) RAHB blocked 115.124.0.68 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't be a tit, please.) Sockpuppet of an unregistered user blocked 194.83.172.186 with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Could you come back a year from now and tell me if your IP is static? Then I can ban you for infinity next time.) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 58.170.123.142 with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (Blanker. Now, because of you, a block that could have been used on a starving African child is being wasted. For shame.) Biopic of the Week This week's user's name raises many questions. Is a Vodkelpplant‎‎ a plant that grows Vodkelps? If so, what's a Vodkelp? Could he possibly have meant a Vodka Plant? If so, does he man a plant that grows Vodka, or a plant that makes Vodka? How many questions does his user name actually create? Why am I still talking like this? And most importantly, who killed Tupac? Anyway, while this guy hasn't posted on any talkpage, he's created a deluge of Undictionary entries. It's pretty hard to grasp how many he's actually made. Seriously, he can't be silenced! I mean, what an Imagination! If you think by 'a lot' I mean one, three, four, five, six or even forty, you're wrong; he's made many more than that. In fact, I think I'd even call him the titan of Undictionary entries. Alright, that's enough of that joke. But really, he's pretty cool. Go say hi on his talkpage, maybe his response to you will be the first time he ever posts on a talk page. That would be a reason to have a party. No, really, I'm done now. Newsroom UnTune of the Week Death Blood Kill Dude... Where'd my bottle go? Did someone steal my bottle? Oh, you... asscracks.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:25, 1 March 2012

Whoops, Fix tags

Hello. Noticed your starting on Fix tags. Have you seen this? Things like take five minutes to fix the page, etc. etc. jumped out like a slick seal at me when I saw it last week. An interesting read. Thanks. Aleister 1:30 1-3-'12

I only tagged two pages, both of which I think have no funny material at all. Take a look at Heavenland. It's pretty bad. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:53, March 1, 2012 (UTC)

Halo! I mean, like, Hello!

I am a n00b in uncyclopedia and know almost nothing about the formats. May I ask for some advice? Such as, what is the format for a textbox? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Flymousechiu (talk • contribs)

First of all, welcome to the site. Now, I assume you are talking about VFP vote box. Where it says image, you put the file's name. Where it says name, you put whatever you want it to be called. Caption is a caption, credit is as follows: {{u|Name of person who made picture here}}. Scoretext is whatever score text you want and then vote for it using # followed by your vote. Comments start with *. Also, whenever you leave a comment on a page, don't forget to sign your name with ~~~~. If you need more help, you could always look for someone to adopt you. That's about it. By the way, I love the way the HowTo:Delete the Recycle Bin article is coming along. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:34, March 3, 2012 (UTC)

Pee on your Goddess

The Imperial Colonization Discordianism has been Pee Reviewed. I have no authority anymore to tell anyone to do anything, but check it out anyway! Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Discordianism (2) User:Why do I need to provide this?/sig10 03:32, March 5, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - 8 March 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

March 8th, 2012 • Issue 161 • The most recycled periodical on the internet!

Vote for Change By Chief Frosty fixes IRC There have been rumblings on the wiki this week, and not just because someone in the UnSignpost office insists it is their human right to have three kebabs for breakfast. These are the rumblings of discontent, and they stem from the behaviour of several users on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel. Frosty was decent enough to create a forum in the Ministry of Love explaining his discontent with pretty much everything IRC. Those of you who are fans of long blocks of text with lots of unnecessary swearing will not be disappointed as Frosty delivers Uncyclopedia's first blockbuster of 2012. The crux of the issue is that the Uncyclopedia IRC channel is not unlike my back garden, dangerous to enter alone for fear that Olipro will burst from the undergrowth and verbally assault you before hiding in the shed. There appear to be several views on this issue, besides the obvious; the UnSignpost sat down with Socky to discuss how we could fabricate a quote from him this week and he didn't say "I propose that all who argue should be put to death". Determined not to be outdone when it comes to simmering discontent with our benighted wiki, Lyrithya weighed into the forum to say that she too was disgusted with the present situation and something should be done. It's both worrying and strangely comforting that you can always rely on her for this particular viewpoint. The rebuttal to all these dissenting views has been varied, mostly involving admitting that yes Olipro and Dr. Skullthumper are an acquired taste and that everyone should generally go back to the important task of deleting maintaining the wiki. Puppy fixes NotM Speaking of maintaining the wiki, it is with great pride and the greatest pleasure that we bring to you more reforms from the keyboard of Dr. Skullthumper, Uncyclopedia's lead innovator and blue sky thinker. He proposes that in order to make new users feel welcome we should abolish Noob of the Month. Don't look at us like that; it makes complete sense to me: new users plus no awards equals a better Uncyclopedia. That isn't strictly true, as PuppyOnTheRadio suggested that instead of having a system by which we award one user the award per month we stack the new users up and treat them as though they were articles on VFH. This will at least kill two noobs with one stone, as nothing proves quite so heartbreaking as having your first article stomped on and then thrown into the bin because it "Lacks cultural significance". You could then change to the VFN page and watch yourself be stomped on and then thrown into the bin because "His/her articles lack cultural significance". Users interested in this plan should report here and support Thrak Thrak the destroyer of Worlds: May his power endure eternally, praise be, praise be to use the name he uses in his welcome message. Dr. Skullthumper fixes Uncyclopedia Oh and in case you had forgotten, Thekillerfroggy still wants to sell Uncyclopedia to the man, man. Our pessimistic thought for the week goes to Electrified mocha chinchilla, who urges you to look on the bright side by saying: "Uncyclopedia will die if we do not make a conscious effort to expand our presence on the internet, thereby reaching a wider audience and attracting more contributors". So to conclude: WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!! THIS IS THE END OF DAYS! Happy Thursday! Conservation By Chief Only you can prevent forest fires, is what we would be saying if it was time for forest fire week again. It's not. Instead it is almost time for another Conservation Week! Unfamiliar with Conservation Week? Want to learn more? Why not head on over to the page and do a spot of reading? Or don't; trust that our summary of the rules is gospel and just start writing. Basically you rewrite articles so that they are no longer suitable for one of Dr. Skullthumper's templates of doom. Having completed your rewrite you gain a point, and you want to have more points than everyone, especially HauntedUndies, who is the Team Rocket of Conservation Week. Honestly, it's true. You can enter the competition for the low low price of ten English pounds, which goes towards oiling the gears and cogs of Uncyclopedia. Your article should also contain at least two pictures of a Monkey, regardless of the subject matter. Well? What are you waiting for? HAH! False start; the competition isn't running just yet, and updates could come from anywhere, at literally any time. Check out the forum and await further instructions.

Check out these pages! Conservation Centenary Madness In-jokes Proposals From our logs: 12:19, March 2, 2012 Romartus (talk | contribs) blocked Fck cnt slt btch whre jrk-ff rttwlr wnk (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (We have a policy on vowel abuse here.) 00:01, March 4, 2012 RAHB (talk | contribs) blocked 85.73.86.233 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Today you endure my ire at the fact the revision differences colors have changed. Rar.) 16:12, March 2, 2012 ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs) blocked 216.11.41.2 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (JUST LOVES AMERICA SO DAMN MUCH) 14:06, March 2, 2012 MadMax (talk | contribs) blocked 31.221.14.82 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (The "nicest guy any one would ever want to meet"? You sure have a funny way of showing it Nathaniel.) 05:49, March 4, 2012 Roman Dog Bird (talk | contribs) blocked R.A.H.B. (Roman A-dog Hunting Baron) (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (hahaha) 14:19, March 6, 2012 Black flamingo11 (talk | contribs) blocked 199.212.250.156 (talk) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (Come back in three days and tell us more about swans, this time in more detail and without the all caps.) Biopic of the Week Yeehaw! It's time for biopic of the week and this week we'll be looking at a user whose username I cannot seem to say without speaking in a ridiculous American accent. It's Jonny appleseed. Now Mr. Appleseed has been hanging about Uncyclopedia since November last year, and in that time you probably haven't spoken to him once. Why? Because he has been prowling about on UnNews, you remember UnNews, the place where you haven't been since the last argument over what shade of brown the banner should be. Jonny has written 16 articles, and they are actually quite good; I thoroughly enjoyed the thirty seconds I spent speed reading through them. He may be quiet but his potential is great; I foresee great things for you, young Appleseed (be sure to say that to him constantly). If you happen to have a spare moment, the UnSignpost suggests that you go and greet this highly promising fellow and perhaps try reading his articles while speaking with a strong American accent. It's a right hoot. Old-school FA 22 March 2006 Nigeria, two days into launching its first census in 15 years, has found it has an estimated 40 million rich and desperate princes and generals in its population, the press secretary for President Olusegun Obasanjo said today. "We were indeed surprised at the amount of high-status people in this country with Swiss bank accounts from whom the government is trying to obtain millions of dollars," the press secretary said in an official statement. "In fact, we didn't know we had so many princes, much less ones eager to unload large amounts of diamonds." Newsroom UnTune of the Week Sevenfold RAmen Public Service Announcement Users are warned not to send correspondence to their home address regarding the following edit: 21:47 HowTo:Persuade your husband‎ (diff | hist) . . (+1) . . Aleister in Chains (talk | contribs) (a couple of minor tweaks, nothing to write home about)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:23, 8 March 2012

Streets

Helloooooooo. You may know the song or may not, if not Streets of Laredo (song). It's a famous song in some quarters, pardner, and the funny is that it is now a straight article going on and on describing the actual streets of Laredo. Still not that funny, but good satire. Aleister 19:00 Ides of March Boxing Day '12

I know the song, I just found the article a little boring. Sorry. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:01, March 16, 2012 (UTC)

Me too. It is very boring. That's the joke I guess. I didn't write it, but did vote for it. Just wanted to see if you knew the song. Hope things are going well, and well are going things. Al 19:03 IOMBD

Yo

Hea dude. I put this thing into your userspace it ran out of life and was about to go to hell. MrN 23:52, Mar 16

Sorry. With Conservation Week going on, I completely forgot about it. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:00, March 17, 2012 (UTC)

Amero is featured

Many thanks for your positive vote--Funnybony    14:53, Mar 17

Some images for accident?

• 
• 

• 
• 

I really like the one on the top right. I'll probably use it. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:30, March 18, 2012 (UTC)

The Pea Buddy Awards

WOW! A brand new UnNews competition and we need you! Either prepare yourself mentally for the severity of the trials (don't sign up just yet, you cheat!) or commit your soul as a judge right now. May the Lord shine his blessings upon thee! Mattsnow 00:47, March 20, 2012 (UTC)

I don't have time to write but I signed up for judging. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:52, March 20, 2012 (UTC)

Great! Mattsnow 01:21, March 20, 2012 (UTC)

[8]

That has a tendency to break VFH. Nominally Humane! 02:57 21 Mar

Hahaha, JavaScript lolfail. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Mar 21 '12 10:24 (UTC)

Thanks for voting

Thanks for your vote --Uncle J (talk) 23:40, March 24, 2012 (UTC)

Featured Article: UnNews:Barack Obama proposes legalizing prostitution, pot in effort to balance budget, avoid tax increases

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

---

In Hindsight...

It would have been easier to add Category:NASCOR TOYS to my Nascor template along with the other persistant categories rather than edit every individual article. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 01:36, March 31, 2012 (UTC)

I just added it. Love the articles, by the way. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:42, March 31, 2012 (UTC)

And I'm bad at counting. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:45, March 31, 2012 (UTC)

Hey

In all respect: why are you redirecting the British petroleum page to the Ban patrol page? I would like to know. -- UserTalkContributions 18:44, March 31, 2012 (UTC)

I'm only reverting your blanking. Next time, QVFD it. I, by the way, already did. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 18:47, March 31, 2012 (UTC)

Brian Urlacher

... may be closer to your liking. I like it better, thanks for making me work on it. Does it need more? Aleister 20:28 31-3-'12

It's better. I don't really get the joke about peeing on stuff, but good work. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:24, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

Santorum and Romenemneney

I could send a couple of messages to people to plug our little improvised contest, linking them to the forum, what do you think? I added rules as well. I'm sure that weirdo Aleister would like to participate. Mattsnow 22:33, March 31, 2012 (UTC)

Great! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:25, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

I mean like, definitely do that. It's a great idea. (My original response is quite confusing) -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:28, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

There's already only 2 places left! Cool. I won't send 200 messages, only like 3 or 4 to people that are always around for now. Nice start to the article! Mattsnow 01:33, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

As I said, nice start! It seems we're on the same "mood" regarding the concept. :) Do you like the song lyrics I added (and tweaked from the real thing)? Do you think we should have an infobox? It could be a great way to throw in some jokes and look more encyclopedia-like. If so, please choose one yourself, as you're better than me when it comes to formatting. Mattsnow 20:12, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

The lyrics are pretty good. My only concern is that putting song lyrics in an article might make it look less like a wikipedia article, but I think it's fine. An infobox does have potential, and I'm thinking about 'shopping up a picture of Santorum getting crucified. We could caption it: "Rick Santorum died for America's sins" or something like that. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:08, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

Hahaha, that would be awesome! Go ahead with that! As for the lyrics, I think this section should be at the end or near it, since it's kind of the final nail in the coffin, openly proclaiming he is insane. I think we're slowly crawling to a nice one. Mattsnow 21:34, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

You're right. It would end it off nicely. I'll probably do the 'shop tonight or tomorrow and I'm working on a good infobox format right now. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:41, April 1, 2012 (UTC)

Hey, great pic, Xam! I'm a big zero when it comes to that, how much time do you need to come up with a good pic like that? I like the way the article is going, we can't really distinguish a "break" in it where it shows that 2 people actually wrote it. We're really flowing well together so far (NO HOMO! lol) Feel free to tweak my parts! Mattsnow 00:46, April 4, 2012 (UTC)

Kind of whoring but not quite...

...since the Supreme Court page should pass eventually. Can you maybe give it a quick read and see what you think (lots of changes and additions since it was nommed)? Thanks. The main reason I'm asking is it'll be fun to have the page up tonight because it is the first UnNews item on the main page too, and the same picture of Hilary Duff would be used. That'd be cool. Whoring, Aleister 20:32 4-4-'12

Pretty funny article! I'm not a huge fan of nude pics in articles, but I laughed nonetheless. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:37, April 4, 2012 (UTC)

I just added the stuff about the new insane ruling that cops can now stripsearch anyone if they stop them, even passengers in a car driven by someone else. Are you a photoshop guy, can the Hilary Duff pic be turned around so she's coming at us from both sides if it gets featured? I'm not a big fan of nudity either, hate it, no woman should ever be nude, in pics or real life. What's gotten into them? If I see one nude, I buy her clothes immediately. Aleister minutes later 20:41 to be precise.

p.s. Thanks!!! You voted! I'm doing handstands as I type, hitting one letter each revolution of the body. I've whored MrN to feature it tonight, and I'll look around for a photo, ah, potatochopper. T T T! 20:44

I flipped it (File:0303 hilary duff b.jpg). -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:45, April 4, 2012 (UTC)

This is me dancing, p-nvvirenvepssnnnvipe-3. Thanks!!!! And you're fast, I've never done even one tatochop, so to me it's still magic. Aleister 20:49

UnSignpost 5 April 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now a major monopoly run by Xamralco

April 5th, 2012 • Issue 162 • Xamralco edition

Xamralco By Xamralco Hello, fellow Uncyclopedians. It is I, Xamralco, here to tell you that I have temporarily taken over the UnSignpost. However, being as inexperienced as I am, I have no idea how to put an UnSignpost together. Thus, for today, the UnSignpost will be about me, the greatest Uncyclopedian ever! More Xamralco Also by Xamralco Look, I know I'm awesome. My mom knows I'm awesome. Even my kindergarten, first grade, and ninth grade teacher, Mrs. Matthews, knows I'm awesome. It's just a fact, but I'm all about being fair, so lets see what the people say: “Ehh... He's alright.” ~ Pretty much everyone on Xamralco I guess "alright" is now a synonym for "Soooooooooo freakin' awesome." Who knew? Even More Xamralco Still by Xamralco I am super, duper rad. I know no one says that anymore, but I'm bringing it back. It is Xamralco who brings back the rad fads. Xamralco will also bring back talking in the third person. Xamralco loves talking in the third person. I sometimes enjoy talking in the first person, but you find talking in the second person far more fulfilling. Still, Xamralco thinks talking in the third person is quite entertaining. Must fill up blank space By Xamralco Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Crap, that wasn't enough By Xamralco How does ChiefjusticeDS make it look so easy? Oh well. Xamralco out!

Check out these pages! User:Xamralco User talk:Xamralco Special:Contributions/Xamralco User:Xamralco/sig User:Xamralco From our logs: 10:07, April 5, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:Cartoonsushi.png" 10:07, April 5, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:Japanflag.jpg" 16:44, April 4, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:0303 hilary duff b.jpg" 17:05, April 3, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:Rick cross.jpg‎" 18:11, April 2, 2012 Xamralco (talk | contribs) uploaded "File:Rickhalo.jpg‎" Biopic of the Week Xamralco first proved himself worthy of being bestowed the title, "Honorary Human Being" by the Queen earlier this year after doing some really awesome stuff. He has joined Uncyclopedia only to become the most beloved editor in history. Fellow Uncyclopedians, NotXamralco and Xemrelco (which have no relation to the person in mention) have even called him a "comic genius," and he has been awarded tons of real awards, including "Xamralco of the Month," "Xamralco of the Year," and "Xamralco of the Week." Old-school Talk page Hello, Xamralco, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you: Beginner's Guide Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends How to be funny and not just stupid If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these: About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. (more...) Newsroom UnTune of the Week The Xamralco Song Xamralco is cool Which is why he's writing about how cool he is.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)    20:49, Apr 5

lol

Good work with the UnSignpost. :D ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 21:32, April 5, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:55, April 5, 2012 (UTC)

Yessir! One of the funniest unsignposts I've seen. Aleister 23:48 5-4-'12

Santorum and Romenemneney (continued)

I've added some more idiocies. I think we should wait until the 10th to nom it on VFH though, since well, that's what I wrote in the forum's rules. I didn't check if the other teams were doing something, but let's wait. We can still have some great ideas until that time! It felt like the article almost wrote itself. :P Mattsnow 03:11, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

I liked the straitjacket thing with the video of the sheep, but I have to admit I like the sanity of that preacher. He's on the brink of convincing me. You're sure there's now room for the "surge out of the straitjacket" line? Mattsnow 16:29, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

I mean, it was a good line, but if you say he was in a straightjacket, it contradicts all the stuff about him being a saint and being like jesus and stuff. I sort of wanted to maintain a theme that Rick Santorum is a righteous holy fellow, but saying he's crazy does the opposite. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 17:44, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

You're right, sometimes by editing by pieces like that, I lose the whole picture. It's basically done in my opinion, though I may have other ideas about the events of the campaigns. All the stuff you wrote is hilarious man, *high five*. Mattsnow 20:30, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

PS: Oh, I was wondering, for the poem, could we say "that would be swell" instead of "and all would be well"? Sorry, as you may know, English is not my maternal language, it improved a lot since I'm here, but not my poetic skills I'm afraid! Also, is the biblical passage "quoted" (invented) in old English ok? Feel free to tweak it so it looks like old bible stuff.

"That would be swell" is a slightly awkward English phrase that's not really used very often which is why I changed it. I can't believe English isn't your first language... Are you using google translate? -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:40, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

Sometimes, but just for specific words, not whole sentences. I actually have an account on the French Uncy but I don't go too often because their humor is so different from the Quebec one, and even the vocabulary is different from Quebec's French. By the way, I huffed the little sentence at the end (Rick, you have so many fans!) if that's ok with you, I thought it sounded weird, better let the 'poem' play the article out. BTW, did you know that song from Metallica? I'm also glad we didn't go into his Google problems (if you don't know what I'm talking about, Google "Santorum" and click on the first link, it's hilarious, but it has been played out over and over.) Mattsnow 20:49, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

I do know about the google thing but that does seem overused. You're right about the last line. It's kinda weird. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:50, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

I also use synonym dictionary and well, since I have a spellchecker installed, it helps a lot. Here, a lot of people are bilingual, we are surrounded by English. It's not like I'm 15 either lol. And you, what great part of the world do you live in? I think we may collab a lot more; I had a blast working on this! Mattsnow 20:57, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

And are you interested in becoming an admin? Because I see you there 100% Mattsnow 21:07, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

I'm good ol' American trash! New York, to be more specific. And yes, we must do another collab... True that VFS is probably gonna lead to votes for admins. Being an admin would be cool and I could totally see you as an admin as well. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:24, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

Well, I don't like conflicts, even on the net, and since an admin has to take decisions that are bound to create some drama, so I'll refuse if I get nommed. But I'll sure vote for you, you'd be a good one, along with some others. Mattsnow 06:18, April 8, 2012 (UTC)

Data

Ah, your Santorum page is up, I must read later. I come here today to say that the page MrN put up is a masterpiece, and you, you good sir, voted against this piece!!! Anyway, MrN left a long comment on the VFH nom for Data, where he explains things that went over my head on first read although I laughed and laughed. Now the page seems like one of the top 10 of the year. Please read MrN's comments if you have 25 seconds. Thanks! Aleister (UTC)

Goddammit, you're on a spamming session! Mattsnow 22:25, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

No, I would never do that, it's as likely as a war on caterpillars. I'm writing some of the people who voted no on the page, and mentioning that MrN wrote a good explanation of the page. It's a masterpiece, I tell you, a masterpiece! El Spammer

Sorry, I read it but I just don't find it all that funny. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:30, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

It's not funny, it's superfunny. Yeah, I hate it too. Have you seen the front page? The Hilary pic you made is sitting right there! Al 1:36

But to be serious ): "(" serious faces - it's maybe a question of what uncyclopedia is. I've always seen it as a satire site and not a comedy site, satire being, wait... an expert has knocked on the door...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SatireSatire, noun 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice , folly, etc. 2. a literary composition, in verse or prose,...

Those things. Uncy pages, as I've seen it, don't have to be funny or bring a laugh, they have to be good satire. In the case of the Data article the "vice" is the powers that be who are trying to kill or control the internet, and Data is the warrior which will always fight such control. I don't want to lobby for it here anymore, just mentioning that funny is one aspect of the site but there exist others forms of satire too. I found it very funny though, maybe as a Star Trek fan (I actually missed the connection to the internet wars until MrN explained it). Thanks for being patient with me plucking away at discordant chords. Al 12:22 7-4-'12

UnSignpost article

Hey, can I do the UnSignpost article this week? Please... When? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Kyurem CUN|IC Kill | 13:41, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

UPjcm also wanted to do this week's UnSignpost and he asked before you, but if he doesn't submit anything you can definitely do it. And if he does, you can do next week's. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 13:45, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

Yep, I'm definitely going to do it, but Joe can do it next week. ~jcm 00:48, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

Evil cop

.....Sir, have you seen this boy?

User:Matthlock/sig 21:38, April 7, 2012 (UTC)

Little comp of ours

Here's where it stands:

• The Mitt Romney article was't even touched
• The Ron Paul article was thoroughly decrufted by MrN
• The Newt Gingrich article was written by UPjcm and it seems pretty good.

So I guess the question is: do we throw the Mitt Romney one on the VFH pile at about 23:59 today? All the other are worthy of course. What do you think? Will you be online at about this time? Mattsnow 14:22, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

Sure, why not! I doubt it'll pass though! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:08, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

I nominated all 4 articles! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:29, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

You sure beat me to the punch! BTW, since VFH is slow, I think whoring is the way to go! What about that short one: UnNews:Tom Boonen wins Paris-Roubaix cycling race while smoking a cigar First article I ever wrote in under 30 minutes! Mattsnow 15:42, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

That's a good one! Now it's my turn to whore. Vote for Cow tipping... Oh wait, you already did. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 16:02, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

HAHAHA!!! This cow article was awesome! Mattsnow 15:42, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

THIS GUESS IMHere! Much love XAM!!! Mattsnow 22:27, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

Umm... okay. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:29, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, and Santorum just suspended his campaign. Basically, Romney's going to get the nomination and yet his article has already failed VFH. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:31, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

Yeah. Their problem is that they suck. :P We are amazing! I'm just a little drunk lol Mattsnow 00:19, April 11, 2012 (UTC)

One hell of hangover this morning lol. It's a shame Santorum suspended his campaign. I guess his staff read our article and concluded that it would be the final blow. Mattsnow 13:40, April 11, 2012 (UTC)

Your latest UnSignpost - fresh off the presses, like a fine wine

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

Apr 10th, 2012 • Issue potato • That isn't a real UnSignpost

Headline By PuppyOnTheRadio I'd created these templates a while ago, but never really used them. They've now been moved out of my user space into the Template namespace. {{USP head}} is the header and starts column 1 {{USP middle}} ends column 1 and starts column 2 {{USP end}} ends column 2 and adds a footer {{USP box}} is a right hand side box, with options for background and border colour {{USP block}} is for the "From our logs..." thingy where you just have to put in the name of the admin, time of block, length of block, the name of the user/IP, and the reason. They should be fairly easy to use. Let me know if you need a hand. But if you have a look at the code behind this it shouldn't be too complex. thumb|He is ugly, poor guy. Headline Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean imperdiet aliquam lacus. Fusce semper nulla eu ipsum. Aenean rhoncus enim eget ante. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Donec vel erat eget risus dignissim luctus. Pellentesque mi erat, porttitor a, venenatis sit amet, bibendum eget, magna. Duis sollicitudin ligula. Proin dictum felis. Vestibulum porttitor laoreet neque. In augue. In at nisi eu neque rutrum rhoncus. Nam dapibus, enim non ullamcorper interdum, purus felis cursus massa, et pharetra sapien neque et purus. Sed bibendum elit id enim. Ut interdum, lacus ac interdum consequat, justo eros adipiscing sapien, eget elementum odio nibh sit amet mauris. Sed condimentum pede quis tortor. Aenean eu quam. Nunc auctor, arcu sed porttitor ullamcorper, justo elit adipiscing eros, vel tincidunt risus elit eget est. Aenean eget neque at massa rhoncus tempor. Phasellus adipiscing, mauris a rhoncus dictum, massa nunc suscipit sapien, non aliquet tortor arcu nec mi. In malesuada sollicitudin odio. Duis quis nisi. Proin semper tincidunt velit. Vestibulum ornare est ac arcu. Aenean euismod. Praesent felis elit, ornare vel, molestie sed, suscipit nec, ipsum. Praesent consectetuer dictum mi. Curabitur ut velit ac felis imperdiet luctus. Maecenas malesuada, lacus vel vestibulum bibendum, felis metus euismod sem, in venenatis enim lorem non mauris. Praesent gravida dui quis nisl. Vestibulum ante ipsum primis in faucibus orci luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia Curae; Suspendisse laoreet lorem sed risus.

Check out these pages! Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron From our logs: 22:06, April 10, 2012 PuppyOnTheRadio (Talk | contribs) blocked Xamralco (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Trying to steal USP from me) 22:06, April 10, 2012 PuppyOnTheRadio (Talk | contribs) blocked Xamralco (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Hang on... I can't block you.) 22:06, April 10, 2012 Xamralco (Talk | contribs) blocked PuppyOnTheRadio (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinity ‎ (No you can't. Bwahahaha!) Biopic of the Week PuppyOnTheRadio should be mentioned in here, as he used to write USP for a short period while UU was away, before he came back and Chief took it over. But he is a talentless hack, so ignore him. Word of the week, provided by: a user Xamralco (n) Someone who takes a post that somebody else has already volunteered for. Newsroom UnTune of the week

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand delivered by Nominally Humane! 10:06 10 Apr

Fine, take it! *Throws USP at Pup and runs off crying* -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:27, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

I'm joking. I could really care less who takes it over as long as it gets done. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:28, April 10, 2012 (UTC)

Actually, I'd prefer you take it. I was going to for the same reason, but it would be more of a chore than anything else, as my attention is (as always) divided. Nominally Humane! 01:08 11 Apr

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/20120412. If UPjcm doesn't pick it up I'll finish this issue off by around midnight UTC, and Joe can take next week completely. Of course, anything you want to do to it, feel free. Nominally Humane! 01:53 11 Apr

Thanks

Thanks for the nom at the admin page, appreciated. You must be drunk. Just want to mention, if elected I will not serve, and if made to serve I would not serve. All the admins except for TKF, at least in my experience here, have lowered their writing output, although that's probably not totally because of the admin post (we all will get tired of writing sometime, or take a long break from it. I don't, for example, intend to get close to my amount of features of the last two years, and now that I've done The Full Hilary with your help, there are no more worlds to conquer here and I cast my eye towards Mars. Other reasons too (it would feel too much like work, and I'd run away and join the circus instead). But yes, that was nice of you. Thanks for throwing me a geese. Aleister 3:05 11-4-'12

Actually, TKF was writting sweet FA (fuck all, not featured article) when I joined, but I'm not sure how long it was since he'd been made an admin. Chief was never a big writer (although I do miss his reviews). I think almost everyone goes through ebbs and flows in their output here. You, Funnybony, Sog and Hype are probably the main exceptions (in my mind) to that rule. Nominally Humane! 01:48 11 Apr

Oh. The point of that last bit - I think people become admin when they show themselves to be adminny types. Often I do adminny stuff when I'm stuck on writing. I wonder if it's a cause, not an effect. Nominally Humane! 01:53 11 Apr

Don't get me wrong, admins are the best of the best. You would be a great admin, as you seem to know how to do what you do and lots of things as well as lots of good writing gets done. Maybe I'm thinking of Lyrithya, who was having fun writing and then admining, and maybe needed a break from everything. I wouldn't be a good admin, because if I thought it was work to come here I wouldn't come. And because I'm not good with code (if someone asked me to move something on the feature que, or find a page from long ago, or fix their code, I'd just sign off and go play darts with street urchins and vagabonds down by the river. And I would never finish Jed clampett's wallet, or Kubrick, which linger and drift. Aleister 2:13 12-4-'12

Dear Xamralco,

I seriously loved your work on the latest issue of UnSignpost; believe me, this is the first time in a long time that I’ve laughed my ass off at an issue of UnSignpost, I’d say it was hilarious, creative, self-expressive and took a joke and squeezed every last bit of laughter from its pulp. It's narcissism at its funniest. SERIOUSLY, NICE WORK MAN!

Which brings me to the offer I’m about to make; how would I care if I, Matthlock, became your partner-in-crime on Uncyclopedia until everything returns to hunky dory. I think it’ll be fun. We could be the next Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper of UnSignpost, but I make no promises.

Anyway, tell me if you agree to me being your partner at UnSignpost. Like the idea or no? User:Matthlock/sig 20:14, April 11, 2012 (UTC)

I've sort of decided that the UnSignpost would run best if a different user wrote it each week. That way only those who have time to write it could write and there wouldn't be one person in charge who has to handle everything. Sign up here to write one. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:00, April 11, 2012 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost

Click on the next issue link. This is the help page/bit at the top. It needs content. All yours. Nominally Humane! 01:48 12 Apr

Done. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 03:22, April 12, 2012 (UTC)

UnSignpost - Free Pixels Inside!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

Apr 12th, 2012 • Issue 163ish • The newspaper used as insulation by discerning homeless

Nobody panic. Everything is fine. By PuppyOnTheRadio In a precedented move, USP has handed the reigns over to somebody new in order to ensure it's timely delivery. USP has had a fine tradition of coming out regularly on a weekly basis since it's creation, and the handing of the reigns to Xamralco PuppyOnTheRadio whoever is willing to take it will guarantee that nobody will ever miss an issue again. In the meantime, the news continues to happen. VFH is in the healthiest state that it has been over the past 7ish years, as we are constantly reminded by the site banner, which is updating as regular as clockwork. The top three features articles of March is proving to be a hotly contested title, and is shaping up to be the first month in history where every article is likely to be in the coveted top position. And we have a strong consensus that there is no need for new admins, however we have a record number of potential admins nominated. Everything is fine.  More Stuff By Xamralco Sadly, I will no longer use the UnSignpost to talk about how great I am. Instead, the UnSignpost will return to its original purpose: Telling you about what's happening on the wonderful website known as Uncyclopedia. As Puppy mentioned before, ChiefjusticeDS has left his position as head editor and all hell has broken loose everything is running quite smoothly. In other news, the Great Republican Write-a-thon is coming to a close. If you haven't heard, a Canadian dude and some schmuck who knows nothing about American politics are co-hosting a writing competition that will assess which team of Uncyclopedians can write a better article about a selected 2012 Republican presidential candidate nominee. Strangely, these same two doofuses have also submitted an entry, something which most certainly should have been against the rules. Nevertheless, articles on all four candidates were put up on VFH (which is serving as a judge), though the Mitt Romney article immediately failed since no one bothered to rewrite it (which is mildly entertaining considering he's leading at the moment). And now, some cheese: No, that wasn't random... Everybody panic. Nothing is fine. By Magic man In an emergency spur-of-the-moment move, the USP has forced the burden of writing it each week onto another innocent soul in order to ruin their lives like so many others. USP has had a fine tradition of not coming out since 1974. USP has decided to hand the blood-stained reigns to dick-hole ass-face whoever it is forced upon in order to guarantee it will never come out again. In the meantime, the terrible news continues to depress us all. VFH is running as slowly as the plumbing in my house and actually has negative six entries. However, the site banner seems to want to shove lies down our thoats. This is probably on account of the fact that it is only editable by lying, cheating, inbred bastards that can't seem to update the fuckin' thing. The top three featured articles of March is proving to only be winnable if you suck the right person's dick, and is shaping up to be just like all the other months ever: uninteresting. And a record number of people were forced to vote that they want more narcissistic assholes, however not one single person has been nominated, as there are no users left. Nothing is fine.

Check out these pages! Zombiebaron There is a cabal Wikia can't touch this █████ From our logs: 22:06, April 10, 2012 PuppyOnTheRadio  (Talk | contribs) blocked Xamralco (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Trying to steal USP from me) 22:06, April 10, 2012 PuppyOnTheRadio  (Talk | contribs) blocked Xamralco (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Hang on... I can't block you. ) 22:06, April 10, 2012 Xamralco (Talk | contribs) blocked PuppyOnTheRadio  (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinity ‎ (No you can't. Bwahahaha!) Biopic of the Week PuppyOnTheRadio should be mentioned in here, as he used to write USP for a short period while UU was away, before he came back and Chief took it over. But he is a talentless hack, so ignore him.  Word of the week, provided by: a user Xamralco 1: (n) Someone who takes a post that somebody else has already volunteered for 2: A publication produced with excessive mention of one individual.  Newsroom UnTune of the Week I Like Cats (The Other White Meat) This is the end of Xamralco references in the UnSignpost We wouldn't want to take away Zombiebaron's thing after all. What's in the stars this week Pisces In your stars this week is a significantly large mass of plasma burning at extraordinarily high temperatures. They are held together by immense gravitational force and continue to burn as a result of a significant nuclear reaction. Due to their distance from the earth however most of them look like tiny pinprick points of light in the night sky, and are not visible during the daylight hours due to ambient light. Celebrity stars Vincent Van Gogh painted a starry night, but he was crazy and put lots of odd swirls in things. Lucky numbers 1, 7, 10, and 13 are all happy numbers, which is lucky for them.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

-- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:57, April 12, 2012 (UTC)

That thing

It appears to be a touch too wide. Nominally Humane! 01:55 13 Apr

That's what she said. Hahahahahah heheeheheeheheheheheheeheeeheheeheheee Ha! Aleister 2:00 (UTC)

You may want to do something like:

<div style="position:relative; width:100%; height:40px; overflow:hidden;"><div style="position:absolute;right:0px;">[[file:too wide image.jpg]]</div></div>

or something. Nominally Humane! 03:30 13 Apr

I have no idea what that code means, but I'll try and add it in the future. Funny, it didn't seem to do that on my computer. It could be a browser thing. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 13:05, April 13, 2012 (UTC)

Bowels of Uncy

So did you find your way to Ivan Rene Contreras? Mattsnow 16:16, April 15, 2012 (UTC)

Eventually, but no one was there... It was sad, sad, sad, and a little depressing. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 17:42, April 15, 2012 (UTC)

Well actually, 37 people were there but I had no idea what was going on and nobody said anything. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 17:51, April 15, 2012 (UTC)

If you hop on there RIGHT NOW, I promise to be there too, and to actually say something. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 15 '12 18:54 (UTC)

Tick-tock! *looks at watch significantly* ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Apr 15 '12 19:03 (UTC)

It's almost always like that. There's like 15 dudes that are ALWAYS there and I've never seen them talk, EVER lol. I'll log in IRC more often then, if there's hope of having good companionship. Mattsnow 21:23, April 15, 2012 (UTC)

I might start going on from time to time if there's nothing else I have to be doing. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:25, April 15, 2012 (UTC)

You made a big mistake, friend...

...because you voted for the "Above Top Secret" page and now there are teams of dogs and cats out looking for you. Your name, which usually comes near the end of the alphabet, has been placed at the front of the watch list, and if you think you can take an airplane anywhere without probes in every place you can hide subversion and knowledge, you ain't seen nothing yet. Brush you teeth and everywhere else before going to any airport, because a 300 pound security agent is going to be sticking chicken-sauced fingers up in there. Thanks. Jordan Luciano Persnickersmith, AA, HI-DE-HO, JMAC, National Security Tribunal Yep (NSTY) 18:07 15-4-'12

Constitution

Wow! Cool opening! I'll get on it soon. Mattsnow 01:42, April 17, 2012 (UTC)

HERE!!! Do you have time to go kick Ibragimov Ruba Clisnsky's ass? I'll be there for a while. Mattsnow 22:14, April 17, 2012 (UTC)

HEY! UP HERE!!! Let's not waste section headers lol. We should take the Constitution talk page to well, talk about the article. What I'm gonna try to do tonight is storm through the real constitution, see what the articles are about and post it on the talk page. That'll help sort out our stuff before it becomes a mess! Mattsnow 00:41, April 19, 2012 (UTC)

Great idea! I'm struggling with a bunch of real life stuff so I might not be very active for the next few weeks. I'll still try to work on this, though. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:09, April 19, 2012 (UTC)

That's OK bro, if I see you're not active much I won't add to the article, so it's kind of a ping-pong thin like the Santorum article! As I said, I think we should really take our time here and make a good one, if it takes 3 months, that's cool. I'll open IRC if you wanna chat. If not, I hope your IRL stuff goes smoothly. Mattsnow 01:48, April 19, 2012 (UTC)

You are a Pee Buddy Judge

I'm sure that's not news. But feel free to add {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/PBJ}} to your user page to show everyone how clever you are.

As for the method of judging - I recorded this thingy earlier, but the long and the short of it - you will be judging every article in the category for which you chose to judge. I will create a judging page later on that allows you to add a comment/link to each article you judge, along with a score. The ideal is that you score one a scale of 0.0 - 10.0 in total, but if you want to score out of 100, or 50, or 8.9, you can do that as well, as long as you put in the max score in as well. (It will become apparent once I've actually created the judging page.) Judging will start on the 1st (sort of). I've actually allowed a days grace for people to complain about entries or submit a late entry with a good excuse (ie: I was dead for two weeks for tax purposes). I'll keep you posted. Nominally Humane! 02:32 17 Apr

Please

Don't sign QVFD posts. Just saying. -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 20:04, April 17, 2012 (UTC)

I know, its just that I was QVFDing something in my userspace for a reason other than "author request." -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:15, April 17, 2012 (UTC)

Oh. Still, discussion goes outside the box (i.e. don't type a space in front). Nobody really cares anyway. -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 20:17, April 17, 2012 (UTC)

Just Author request is enough. The sig doesn't really hurt, but doesn't really help much either. Nominally Humane! 12:22 18 Apr

UnSignpost 19th April 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

Apr 19th, 2012 • Issue 10² + 8² • Fuck Xamralco and his deadlines!

9001(bot)  14:56, Apr 19

Re: HowTo:Hack Uncyclopedia

Why did you revert me? Can I restore some of the changes as a compromise? After testing in a sandbox of course? Gabriel Turner (talk) 20:54, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

I just about to leave you a message about the same thing. Whenever I see a gigantic change to an article, I also click the diff button and read the differences. I saw that you deleted the original IRC conversation (which is in a way a bit of history), plus you cut out some of the classic stuff. Roman Dog Bird is a nigger is one of the most common phrases that pages are vandalized with. The page is just a bit of an in-joke, that's all, but I'm glad to see you were trying to help (always a good thing). -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:00, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

Re:King's Lynn

Could you please take of the ICU thing on my article about the English town of King's Lynn? I made a mistake when I started making it and forgot to the put the "under construction" thing. And I hadn't actually written the article yet when you put it on there. But I've written a whole article now with pictures, paragraphs and decent amounts of writing etc. --Steveyt0 (talk) 22:33, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

I took off the tag. Good job with the article. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:29, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

thank you --Steveyt0 (talk) 01:33, April 21, 2012 (UTC)

Constitution

I'll take a break from editing it unless an awesome idea pops in my head, I don't want to take all the fun and leave you nothing! When you'll be active on it, I'll come back like an eagle lol It's like a pie. Feel free to tweak my stuff of course, anyway, I have plenty of stuff to tickle the funny side of my brain in the meantime! Mattsnow 03:53, April 21, 2012 (UTC)

I'll get around to it soon. Probably like next weekish. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 12:54, April 21, 2012 (UTC)

unsignpost

My sweet affectionate caring Xamralco...how are you sweety? Good? Lovely, I'm overjoyed that all is great with you. If you would not mind...I would be thrilled if there was space for a column in the unsignpost for this issue. I would feel simply delighted if it were so! Do let me know my dearest dearest Xamralco. Hugs! --ShabiDOO 05:28, April 23, 2012 (UTC)

Drop off anything you want in the Press Room. If it's good (and it probably will be), I'll add it to the UnSignpost, just no more in-jokey stuff, please. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:16, April 23, 2012 (UTC)

How do I drop off stuff in the press room my sweet sweet Xamralco? --ShabiDOO 21:54, April 25, 2012 (UTC)

Go to here. Create a new section and either link your article in a subpage in your userspace or write it out. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:59, April 25, 2012 (UTC)

Okay...done my sweetie pie. Let me know if its unsignpost material or not...and if so...if it should be edited or not! Kisses and hugs. --ShabiDOO 23:01, April 25, 2012 (UTC)

Great job! I added it. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:02, April 26, 2012 (UTC)

Hi

This might be something interesting. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Apr 24 '12 10:16 (UTC)

UnSignpost Apr 26th 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

You'd be crazy not to listen!

Apr 26th, 2012 • Issue 165 • In a state of total chaos since March 8th!

VFS Excitement! By Chief Hah! You thought you were rid of me didn't you? Thought you'd be rid of old Chief like you were rid of Mordillo?? Well I have news for all of you, which is exactly why I'm writing this story, because I have news for you! Those of you who have spent the last month wearing buckets on your heads will undoubtedly be unaware that there is a VFS going on on the VFS page, where the VFS happens! It would seem Uncyclopedia's demand for administrators is only eclipsed by its demand for Frosty to stop going on about wanting more administrators. The VFS is now in its final stage and the admins are all voting on they would most like to not unsee as an administrator next month. Leading the pack at the moment, with a whopping four votes, is EMC, running on the ever popular "Oh go on, please, after all it is a lovely day" ticket. Hot on EMC's heels is PuppyOnTheRadio, whose voting section is filled with discourse about how unhelpful and blunt he is, mostly from Lyrithya the head of Uncyclopedia's "Never Forgetting, Never Forgiving department". With the qualities she describes the UnSignpost confidently forecasts that Puppy will claim adminship and bring his sunny disposition along with him. Dragging his heels in third position is Frosty, who has three for votes, one oppose vote, one haddock vote and a pencil drawing of a windmill. We are guessing that he is in third, since nobody really knows. Assuming that haddock votes are similar to oppose votes and assuming that oppose votes are like against votes one can deduce that he is on a score of one, however should the judges decide the windmill is worth ten Salmon votes, there could still be all to play for. Frosty is also an administrator at Encyclopedia Dramatica, the wiki which proves you don't need to be able to spell Encyclopaedia in order to start one. Perhaps they are mocking the correct spelling. But we digress, it is evident that Frosty's entire persona on this wiki s a mere front for a plot! We have clearly uncovered a dastardly scheme to destroy Uncyclopedia, especially with the damning evidence presented by MrN9000 "23,450 edits maintained over a period of longer than a year all just to stage 1 days fun". He's disgusted and you should be too. Frosty, if that is his real name, was clearly dead set on not having his true intentions revealed. People of Uncyclopedia, the UnSignpost urges you to seize your torches and pitchforks; we shall burn and stab the demons out of him! Bringing up the rear in this race are Oliphaunte and Xamralco with no votes each despite everyone agreeing that they are splendid fellows, everyone except Lyrithya that is. VFS concludes at midnight on the 30th when the successful candidates will be inducted into the order and the unsuccessful candidates go back to having real lives. How exciting. Happy Thursday! Even more VFS Excitement! (The VFS Derby) By Shabidoo The horses have been chosen and the judge shoots his big giant black gun. POW, they're off. The Aussies take the lead thanks to RAHB while EMC inches ahead with the support of the zombie faction. Its a three way lead until...look...EMC and Frosty are ahead due to...who is that guy? Tom Mayfair? Seriously, who is he? Suddenly, Xamralco is....he...he is still in the same place... due to "support" from Lyrithya. MrN throws in all his votes. WHAT A RACE! Puppy inches ahead and now...look...another impossible to interpret move. EMC will stay where he is with a "neutral" vote by Lyrithya. Could this be any more exciting? And the first casualty, Frosty breaks his leg and falls back due to a very long block of explanation but he keeps going. Gosh that trooper! And...whats that...Chief makes an actual decision sending Puppy ahead. What's next!?!? And now...a total of four horses are..."supported" by Lyrithya...keeping them in the exact same place they were before! Followed by a giant monumental block with links and references shatters Puppy's leg...and he lags behind, can he keep going? Hey...a score fix. Puppy is ahead after all...thanks TKF for the correction! Lyrithya withdraws her "support" for Oliphaunte...meaning he no longer stays where he is...but instead...stays where he is! Remarkable. What a frenzy. Now an exchange between TKF and Lyrithya...resulting in...no change at all...and the fans are waiting for anything...any result at all. The Australians in the lead while the others are content with "support", "neutural" votes or "neutural support"! BF takes a stand and EMC shoots ahead that strong buck he is! TKF calls fowl on Mr.N and the judges decide that "no one cares". Romartus injects EMC with steroids pushing him ahead while he breaks Frosty's other leg due to a shocking "conflict of interest" scandal. Who saw that coming? Anything goes in the VFS derby! Now its bedlam...some punch the wind out of horses by withdrawing their "for"s or break horses leg by changing to "against". What a 360º. Horses fall left, right, centre while everyone tries to figure out what everyone else is doing. How intense! Not since the VFS derby of 2011 have we seen this scale of flip flopping! And now Zombie decides to hold onto his crowbar so he can break a horses leg if he threatens his favourite candidate. Others give horses a push ahead while others throw grenades strategically at other horses. It seems everyone is playing a game of chicken...waiting to see what the other person does. We are heading towards the final run, a grand all out cage fight. The two horses with the least broken bones crawling towards the end. Tune in next week to see if any of these horses cross the line before dying of internal injuries. Will someone make an actual decision in the next day or two! Keep your eyes posted!

Check out these pages! Are you a slut? Find out now! Count with total strangers for the low, low price of $19.99! Vote on your favorite dictator! Eat some Nutella! From our logs: 06:15, April 24, 2012 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) blocked BangYouLater (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 69 months ‎ (An internet-based porn website? How innovative.) 01:20, April 22, 2012 RabbiTechno (talk | contribs) blocked KeenChic (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (It's only a one-day ban because I've just had a fat line of drugs and am therefore in a good mood) 19:57, April 23, 2012 ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs) blocked 156.26.170.101 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 hour ‎ (On the route to Nirvana edit warring is not Swindon that way lies) 18:54, April 17, 2012 Romartus (talk | contribs) blocked Owfinewf (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Cybermullet, go away. ) 06:52, April 25, 2012 Romartus (talk | contribs) blocked 98.220.243.133 (talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Spam man? No thank you mam. ) Biopic of the Week Qzekrom (or Cute Zekrom if you pronounce "Q" incorrectly) is by far the best Uncyclopedian who is also a pokémon (Sorry, Mr-ex777). Originally an evil IP who refused to join, Cute Zekrom finally did the right thing and made an account, which is great for us since all he does is patrol recent changes, ICUing and QVFDing like a madman. Oh, and he writes UnNews, further spreading his liberal/conservative propaganda to all. Sadly, Cute Zekrom only has 100 HP, which allows my Burmy to completely annihilate him. Plus, everyone knows that Yu-Gi-Oh! is really where it's at... Or Digimon. Digimon's pretty cool, too. Old-school FA 23 June 2006 Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves. The series was noted for its recurring themes of theological introspection, philosophical anthropology, the study of the nation-state, and use of cardboard boxes that could turn into any machine they wanted it to. The series confused many, as Hobbes himself was not born until 1588 - some 40 years after the show last aired. This seeming anachronism was explained by the fact that only Calvin could see Hobbes - leading to debate over if Hobbes was real or merely a figment of Calvin's imagination. (More...) Newsroom UnTune of the week I Forgot the Words! The Pee Buddy Awards! They deserve more attention than they're getting.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  00:52, Apr 26

Thanks

I love it when people poke fun at me, such as in the new UnSignpost. -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 23:39, April 27, 2012 (UTC)

Silent movie

Should people eat popcorn real quiet in silent movies? Hi. You have a great concept here, and myself and some other idiots think you should masterpiece it. Pic concepts are interesting to me, and I like them as features. I've done a few of them (the best, of course, is HowTo:Get a suntan, which the departed Puppy (good riddance to bad dogs) tried to get VFD'ed (which is why I left the gate open on the busy street side of uncy's property). And when 90s Kid21 started working on my The USA versus the primitive Taliban it really took off into better-than-it-was land (I thought it was good before, and then when he added to it and we started collabing I danced in a circle until the ground beneath my feet gave way into one of those sinkholes, where I still am today). Memories. Aleister 11:00 29-4 *UTC*

VFS

lol u win. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 11:02, April 29, 2012 (UTC)

On Talking Pineapples: Part 2

Do you think UnNews:Talking pineapple declared a national threat is quite done yet? Because I won't be active for three days starting Wednesday and ending Friday and I need someone to finish my report. -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 20:08, April 29, 2012 (UTC)

Pretty funny. I might rework the how it started section a little bit, but right now, it seems about done. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:52, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

Okay, thanks! <acronym title="Live Long and Prosper!">LLAP!</acronym> ;) -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 19:24, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

Congrats on Holy Adminship! -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 21:58, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:02, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, and by the way, my other article will be featured mañana - May 1st! -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 22:04, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

Congratulations

You are already a better admin than all the others except Zombiebaron. :) ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Apr 30 '12 22:33 (UTC)

Thanks. I try to be efficient. ;) -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 22:39, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

Let's play a game

So starting at 8 am UTC (2 am EST) on Wednesday you admins can start banning and unbanning me, making up stupid ban summaries such as "vigilance" and "go eat shit fuckers" and then maybe one person could huff my userpage and then someone else will come along and hack it up and then it just goes on and on and on and on! (That is, until Friday, when I return.) It'll be fun, I promise; and I care not because I'll be gone the whole time! -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 22:59, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

WINRAR!

Congrats on the adminship! Just a message to remind you that you committed yourself on the judging panel of the utmost journalistic competition of all-time: The Pee Buddy Awards! All the judging will be going on on THIS PAGE. All of the glorious articles are listed there! It would be cool if all the judging could be finished in a week or so. Also, Aleister's article is the only one in its category (rewritten UnNews), but it would be a great showing of appreciation for his efforts if you could judge it too! Thank you very much for taking the time to participate, making this site a joyful place and all! Mattsnow 00:08, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

I'll get around to it tonight, tomorrow, or the next day... And don't think I forgot about the constitution thing. I'll be able to work on it later this week. :) -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:10, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Great, take your time for the judging, no stress! You have a week, after which the FEDS will pay you a visit. Mattsnow 00:15, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Personally, I suggest grading on a rubric if you're short on time. -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 02:15, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Congratulations Xamralco. Hopefuly these admin tools will be things you never ever use. Heres hoping you stay out of politics and keep writing and helping people :) :) :) --ShabiDOO 13:09, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Lol. Thanks. :) -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:04, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

I most enjoyed your come-from-behind tactics, just like a boxer on the brink of getting knocked out throwing a miraculous punch to claim the victory! Mattsnow 19:13, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

IRC, sir? Mattsnow 00:36, May 2, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks

...for voting on Today's Feature! By the way, you can partake in the ban-unban-reban-rebound-unreban-rereban-rererererereban game that I've already told the other admins about. -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 23:43, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

I almost rolled your message back. I thought you were that vandal. (check the block log/recent changes if you don't know what I'm talking about). -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:45, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Oh that guy. You could actually use that as a "bad excuse" to joke-ban me one day during the ban game. (In case you don't know I am mysteriously disappearing Wed-Fri and have set up a game in which admins take turns blocking, unblocking and reblocking me with stupid ban summaries.) -- This has been an automated message by Cute Zekrom (talk) 23:51, May 1, 2012 (UTC)

Bipolar Girl

Welcome to the cabal Xamralco. I trust you have received your starter pack, mine came with Nicole Scherzinger and a chain for the radiator. I have set up Al's article Bipolar Girl for featuring 3rd May after our edit conflict. Perhaps you want to do the rest of the week? --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 06:34, May 2, 2012 (UTC)

Ok, sounds good. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 20:11, May 2, 2012 (UTC)

Penile Implant

So...your saying you think I have a small penis? Do you need me to show you?

No featured queued

I said it. Mattsnow 00:10, May 5, 2012 (UTC)

Everything is fine. Nothing is ruined.

Although generally the amount of the featured article preview in the template is slightly less, usually something like two paragraphs. Also, apparently we both somehow featured two different articles for two different days at the same time, which I find humorous. Anyway, I probably shouldn't be updating the queue because I'm very bad at it and forget a lot, so carry on as you were : ) -RAHB 00:48, May 5, 2012 (UTC)

I would like to bring your attention to this forum

Forum:Vote to De-Op Lyrithya Nominally Humane! 03:20 07 May

Pee Buddy contest!!

I'm kissing you with great passion to thank you for participating in the Pee Buddy contest and judging the great articles with meticulousness! The full results are here!

Mattsnow 01:32, May 9, 2012 (UTC)

Also, judging is over and the results are here! It would be cool if you could change the header to something like "The Pee Buddy Results are in! See who is the most stupid journalist!". And link to the page of course. I sent the prizes and congrats to everyone! Mattsnow 01:43, May 9, 2012 (UTC)

It's done, forget it :P Mattsnow 02:13, May 9, 2012 (UTC)

Alrighty, I think the site header's been there for a satisfying while, you can change it to whatever you like! Also, you could mention the comp in an eventual Unsignpost. I certainly will do it again later this year. :P Mattsnow 17:18, May 11, 2012 (UTC)

Some help if you have time, thanks

Maybe it's the whole site or maybe just my browser, but I can't "create new article" anymore, the option is no longer given when I search for an article that's not here. If you still have it could you add "Category:Articles replaced by one of the same name, but still kept around" for me. Also create a new page with the name Paul Krassner, and redirect it to Chicago Seven. Thanks. Aleister 16:37 13-5-'12

I did it. I don't have that option for some reason either. To create a new article, click edit on any random page and then change the name in the URL to the article you want to create. Ex: http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User_talk:Xamralco?action=edit -> http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/Paul_Krassner?action=edit -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 16:48, May 13, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks!! That was a good trick you did. I don't know if I could code it as well. What happened to that option? If it's off all over the wiki nobody can really create a new page or archive. Yikes, the removing of the ability to create new pages will make everyone work on old pages until everything is in fine shape. Maybe a good choice. Aleister 20:17 13-5-'12

Milyo Pangarov

This man isn't a ordynary person if you want to see him in media here you are http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQWQJq7Odbk . And please don't deleate this page

I'm sorry, but one Youtube video does not mean that you are well known. I have googled his name. That's the only thing that shows up. For all I know, it could just be some guy who put some video up. Please don't recreate this page. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:09, May 13, 2012 (UTC)

Greetings!

Thought I'd let you know about a new feature we've got on recent changes, called "patrolled edits". If you do any cleanup on RC, patrolling can be a useful tool. Essentially, it "approves" edits by any users who are not in the auto-patrolled user group (IPs, newbies, etc). It makes it much easier for multiple people to sweep up, as they don't have to keep checking the same pages. You can read about it here. Also, if you'd like to patrol multiple edits at a time, or just patrol edits directly from RC, I've got a special javascript which I whipped up recently. You can use it by putting importScript( "User:Bizzeebeever/scripts/patrol.js" ) into either your uncyclopedia.js or monobook.js, depending on which theme you use.

If you already knew about it, then please disregard this message. Cheers. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, May 13 '12 23:57 (UTC)

Soul Calibur

Oi! Yes you, the one without a nose. I actually put some words into this article instead of the usual swear/curse fling worthy of a 12 year old and you go and revert it? We need to wash your mouth with soap young lady! Now go to sleep, its back to kindergarten with your early tomorrow morning.– Preceding unsigned comment added by 99.229.147.223 (talk • contribs)

"What? This is not funny? Fuck You!" Yep, that definitely isn't pointless swearing. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 03:24, May 17, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, you found a needle in a haystack and burn the barn down. Wonderful! Pitiful excuse for your pointless action.– Preceding unsigned comment added by 99.229.147.223 (talk • contribs)

Not only did he burn down the barn, I'll help him rape the farmer's wife and daughters and burn the farmer down. Now either get funny or get fucked. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, May 17 '12 18:07 (UTC)

Seems some of you need to go back and read "How To Be Funny And Not Stupid". Most of my edits follow those guidelines. You seem to prefer pointless profanity and obscenity. To use your words, you're already fucked. No doubt, that farmer proven too much to handle. Or was it his daughters?

Get out of here, Curtis. Xamralco can't hear you unless you sign your posts. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, May 18 '12 17:45 (UTC)

Who are you talking to? I don't hear anything. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:17, May 18, 2012 (UTC)

Yeah, I doubt he hears much now. I think he forgot to leave the barn when he was burning it down. Although...that last was a reply to you, Mary. Signed: Curtis.

--98.250.176.190 06:42, May 19, 2012 (UTC)

Considering that you are so awesome and have all the answers to make this place the most awesome site ever with your perfect vision and writing, why don't you just go ahead and take the prose mantle as you claim to be the funniest thing to ever grace the internet. Maybe then we'll stop laughing. Until then, stop losing your time debating here, as you have one half of your ass on the chair and the other looming over the ban bottomless pit. Mattsnow 09:35, May 19, 2012 (UTC)

Mattsnow, I'm very flattered you think I'm so awesome, I wish I shared your opinion but alas! If only others would also realize that they weren't so perfect they don't even need a reason to reject others' work. Don't worry though, I will still continue to make edits. Also, since you are in love with my ass, let me tell you why I am doing this: I posted here not to debate but asking Xamralco why he undid a whole week's worth of my edits, - he instead points to one edit that does not reflect the quality of the majority of my contributions. The mods I've encountered before were always willing to tell me why my edits, even entire articles were rejected and this helped me improve those articles. And if you are honestly going to ban me for replying to insults directed at me, then it's simple hypocrisy. I'm also not the one who made rape and death threats (look above). You want civil conduct out of contributors, I'm happy to oblige...just ensure mods aren't being jerks either. --98.250.176.190 01:17, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

LOL, you should create an account so we can have a fresh start, I wrote the latter message after being fired and having a car accident coming home, where my wife told me she wanted a divorce! Please, we just don't like profanity for the sake of profanity here. We're very fucking strict about it :P I think you can be good user, I just got carried away. I'm sorry really. Mattsnow 05:00, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

I trust we can call time on this discussion. Anon IP "Curtis", if you have made an account then any changes made to an article can be tracked and discussed with you on your own user page. That is why all contributors are encouraged to make an account when they sign in. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 22:06, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

Haha, thanks Mattsnow, I'm all in for a fresh start. Thanks also Romartus. --98.250.176.190 011:32, May 21, 2012 (UTC)

VFD archiving...

Hey dude, can you put like Keep Tags on the talk page if it's kept and remove {{VFD}} Tags on the pages;0)--Sycamore (Talk) 15:29, May 19, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, sure. Sorry about that. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 15:30, May 19, 2012 (UTC)

Two-part message

Votes for picture deletion

I think this should be a separate process. -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 23:41, May 19, 2012 (UTC)

Windows XP

This ICU'd article is one of Uncyc's most wanted articles. Can you help me get involved in improving it? -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 23:41, May 19, 2012 (UTC)

###€€€@@@

€€@@€@€@€@ ###€€€€@@@ €€€@€@#€@€ €€@€@@@##@ @@@@@@@€€ €@€@#€@€@€ €€@@@€#### ##€€@€@€@€ €@@@@@@@@€ €##€€€€€€@ €@€@€@€@€€ @€@€###@€€ €@@€€@€@€ @#€@€#€@€@ ##€€€€@@@@ €#€€@€@€@€ @@€##@€€@€ €@@€€#@€@€ €€€€@€@€@€ @€@€@€#€€# --ShabiDOO 04:47, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

Kwanzaa/Classic

If someone creates a page, right where he was told to create it, and you elect to move it to some other name (PS--Why?) and suppress redirects, why don't you track down and fix the red-links you create, such as the one on my user page, as the instructions specify? Thank you. Spıke ¬ 20:42 20-May-12

Sorry, I checked what links here, but I didn't see it was on your userpage. I moved it because when the original version of an article is rewritten, it is generally moved to "/Classic", not "Classic" (eg Jew/Classic, Supergirl/classic, etc.) -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:36, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

Thank you for fixing it. I remain convinced that Classic is the better Uncyclopedia article and Anon's contribution belongs somewhere but not in Mainspace.

To comment on the following section: I do a lot of Javascript in standing orders in the Mozilla userContent on my PC. This affects the way I see Uncyclopedia. I am relatively unconcerned about dictating how the rest of the world sees my contributions to Uncyclopedia.

The relatively new border-radius property is very schweet. Stuff printed off your laser printer with this property doesn't look like a computer hack but like a professionally printed form. Spıke ¬ 00:01 21-May-12

Template:Ambox

Can you modify some of the code so it has a border (kind of like Wikipedia's version of {{Ambox}})? -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 20:53, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

Sorry, but that's a little above what I'm capable of. (I'm actually pretty terrible at code, though I can do some of the more basic stuff). Perhaps, you could ask someone who makes templates frequently. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:40, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

Okay. I'm actually quite good at ripping off code from other websites (such as Bulbapedia's border-radius thing). Maybe I should look into w:MediaWiki:Common.css. -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 21:53, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

Yup. All you have to do is add

/* Article message box styles */
table.ambox {
    margin: 0px 10%;                  /* 10% = Will not overlap with other elements */
    border: 1px solid #aaa; 
    /* @noflip */
    border-left: 10px solid #1e90ff;  /* Default "notice" blue */
    background: #fbfbfb; 
}
table.ambox + table.ambox {      /* Single border between stacked boxes. */
    margin-top: -1px;
}
.ambox th.mbox-text, 
.ambox td.mbox-text {            /* The message body cell(s) */
    padding: 0.25em 0.5em;       /* 0.5em left/right */
}
.ambox td.mbox-image {           /* The left image cell */
    /* @noflip */
    padding: 2px 0 2px 0.5em;    /* 0.5em left, 0px right */
}
.ambox td.mbox-imageright {      /* The right image cell */
    /* @noflip */
    padding: 2px 0.5em 2px 0;    /* 0px left, 0.5em right */
}
 
table.ambox-notice {
    /* @noflip */
    border-left: 10px solid #1e90ff;    /* Blue */
}
table.ambox-speedy {
    /* @noflip */
    border-left: 10px solid #b22222;    /* Red */
    background: #fee;                   /* Pink */
}
table.ambox-delete {
    /* @noflip */
    border-left: 10px solid #b22222;    /* Red */
}
table.ambox-content {
    /* @noflip */
    border-left: 10px solid #f28500;    /* Orange */
}
table.ambox-style {
    /* @noflip */
    border-left: 10px solid #f4c430;    /* Yellow */
}
table.ambox-move {
    /* @noflip */
    border-left: 10px solid #9932cc;    /* Purple */
}
table.ambox-protection {
    /* @noflip */
    border-left: 10px solid #bba;       /* Gray-gold */
}

to MediaWiki:Common.css (I think) and that'll do the trick. -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 21:57, May 20, 2012 (UTC)

Constitution

It was a great thing you didn't edit it, as I was busy covering the 2012 Tour of California on Wikipedia, but now I have something that resembles free time. Fire away when you want! Mattsnow 04:22, May 21, 2012 (UTC)

Perfect timing. I actually have some free time on my hands now. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 18:44, May 21, 2012 (UTC)

Here!!! I'll be on IRC for an hour or so, just drop by if you want, it'd be cool! Mattsnow 02:14, May 22, 2012 (UTC)

Well, fuck

In one swift edit you fixed my experimental userpage. Damn you and all of your awesomeness....^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 19:14, May 21, 2012 (UTC) I'm such a n00b *cries*

Awkward formatting is my one true weakness... That, and girls. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:18, May 21, 2012 (UTC)

On an unrelated note, A) Can you blend some nazi flags into the page? || and B) RickRoll'D has been taken down by YT. ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 20:07, May 21, 2012 (UTC)

takes deep breath, as recommended on the deletion guide

Why did you delete my article on Kyubey unilaterally?

All the humor was derived from rape and pedophilia, which isn't really funny. The article just seemed like rambling to me and it wasn't long enough in my opinion to qualify for ICU. If you want to start over, go ahead. Just try to base the article off of a better concept. Rape is so cliche. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:13, May 21, 2012 (UTC)

Niggers

It was I (as SpikeFromNH in 2009) who whipped this article into shape, and the userspace version to which you deleted the link seems really crude compared to the mainspace one (as in stereotypes and epithets with no cleverness at all). However, it is part of the site's history, and maybe it belongs at Niggers/Classic. Maybe it doesn't. Spıke ¬ 01:59, 02:47 22-May-12

The userspace one is awful in my opinion. It seems like a vandalized version of the mainspace one. I really don't think it needs to be on the page and certainly shouldn't be mainspaced itself. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 21:05, May 22, 2012 (UTC)

I'm on IRC for an hour

If you wanna talk about the constitution. Mattsnow 01:54, May 24, 2012 (UTC)

The Racist Cats All Died

Greetings Earth Man, I'm a new kid on the block and was part way through my article before you deleted it. Did you have a reason? Where, my good man, can I edit and make changes to my article without it being deleted from my own page before it's even published? Eradeziel. Sorry no sig yet. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Eradeziel (talk • contribs)

Umm... Your article wasn't deleted. It's still there. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 02:57, May 25, 2012 (UTC)

You're right, must have been something else. My mistake. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Eradeziel (talk • contribs)

UnSignpost May 25th, 2012

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

May 25th, 2012 • Issue 166 • Almost entirely asbestos free!

An Endzone Victory Dance From Your New Overlord By EMC Hi, I'm EMC, your family-friendly fascist and tyrant. Having been at Uncyclopedia for almost six years, I have seen some shit. A lot of it I can't talk about because of some gag orders which are still in effect. Some of it I don't want to talk about because even thinking about it gives me sympathy pains in my groin. But one thing I had never seen before was me becoming an administrator. One month ago, this was something which only happened in my wettest of dreams. Thanks to my mother's influence, I was able to win the VFS. Once this happened, I felt obligated to write this UnSignpost piece about this extraordinary blessing known as me. I will start from the beginning and finish at the end. I was born just like everyone else. Sometime shortly after that, I discovered Uncyclopedia. Six years later, I became an administrator. As you can see, my life can be summed up as a series of successes followed by more success. I invite you all to follow the example I have set for you in my years of servicing Uncyclopedians serving Uncyclopedia. I can assure you that a life in service to Uncyclopedia will become a life full of attractive foreign women consenting to your penis without the inducement of money. Be more like me: Get born. Discover Uncyclopedia. Become an admin. Make a USP article about yourself. Success awaits you, especially if you are me. BOB'S BACK ALLEY ABORTIONS YOU MAKE 'EM, WE SCRAPE 'EM, NO FETUS CAN BEAT US! CALL NOW FOR A FREE CONSULTATION! 1-218-936-8869 A New Beginning for the Beginner's Guide By EMC If you take a whiff around, you can smell many parts of Uncyclopedia rotting away, such as neglected projects like UnPoetia or those meme-filled articles featured eons ago. And just look at all of that dust on the HTBFANJS! But of the many things which suck and need major fixing, the Beginner's Guide is no longer one of them. Thanks to the efforts of Shabidoo and this USP article's author, the Beginner's Guide is now navigable and comprehensible. Users are no longer overwhelmed by stubs stuffed between unnecessarily long calculus equations or whatever the hell was going on with that thing before. Readers do not have to flip through using the "Next page" button. Instead, the new guide can be navigated with its template or its overview page, which now only have six relevant links instead of thirty-thousand and five irrelevant links. What preceded this and highlighted the necessity for rewriting the guide was the simplification of our UnNews guide and welcome message. It's a well-established fact that reading bores people. Giving people less stuff to read when they first join Uncyclopedia, experts say, increases the likelihood that new users will not only be less bored, but that they might actually read the Beginner's Guide/welcome message/UnNews guide and become worthwhile contributors/get banned less often. And at the end of the day, that's what it's all about.

Check out these pages! The PLS is here! International Spam IRC Month is almost over :( Fold proteins for great justice Hang out with your wang out From our logs: 07:08, 23 May 2012 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user blocked Sure mean with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Sockpuppetry and all that jizz.) 23:30, 22 May 2012 ChiefjusticeDS blocked 69.113.93.82 with an expiry time of 3 Days (You do bad thing, I ban you now) 14:57, 17 May 2012 Electrified mocha chinchilla blocked 208.93.177.54 with an expiry time of 1 hour (Blanker: You are banned for blanking sections of the White Stripes article. Blanking sections of the White Stripes article got you banned.) 14:55, 13 May 2012 Roman Dog Bird blocked 67.163.130.253 with an expiry time of 2 hours (yo nigga, don't fuck with john candy. and remember, he isn't gay.) Biopic of the Week Tompkins is a retired admin who hasn't edited the site since 2007. This Iowan left Uncyclopedia to pursue a lucrative career in tipping cows (which we think is a euphemism) and designing corn palaces across the Midwest. Uncyclopedia's head office in Pyongyang has received several explicit postcards from him since 2007, all of which express deep regret at having left Uncyclopedia. Through these postcards Tompkins has told us that he hates his life and that leaving Uncyclopedia is the worst thing anyone could ever do, and that he advises anyone considering leaving to reconsider their consideration. In summation, Tompkins is a good example of why you should never leave Uncyclopedia or live in Iowa. Old-school FA 27 June 2009 Failure University (officially abbreviated FU, with sincerest regrets) is a fully self-accredited coeducational Internet-based university. Founded in 2006, it endeavours to provide advanced degrees to the mentally and financially underprivileged — namely those persons who were too dim to be matriculated by a standard college or university, and whose parents were too poor to build a new engineering building or add a wing to the campus library. (More...) Newsroom UnTune of the Week Randomness Rap

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--EMC ^[TALK] 00:15 May 25 2012

Um...

There are two deleted entries still listed on VFD, namely "The Giver" and "Powderfinger". I would've been bold and archived them myself, but then there's the de jure restriction on who can do that. -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 21:30, May 28, 2012 (UTC)

Done! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:00, May 28, 2012 (UTC)

In the future, though, should I just do it myself? -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 00:55, May 29, 2012 (UTC)

No, just wait for an admin. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:00, May 29, 2012 (UTC)

KKK (hover) (bad joke) -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 01:27, May 29, 2012 (UTC)

Happy Monkey!!!

Yet another HMC victory. I really really liked that article Xamralco. Glad you finished it and had it featured. --ShabiDOO 22:14, May 28, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:02, May 28, 2012 (UTC)

Happy Monkey! Aleister 1:22 29-5-'12

Curtis ^^ up there

Hee-hee! He totally got an account just so he could continue the discussion. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Thu, May 31 '12 5:44 (UTC)

I heard that...Mary! --Curtis of Telephones (talk) 22:12, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

Nominated You

I just nominated you for Author of the Month. Cheers!---   TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 08:10, June 1, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 14:51, June 2, 2012 (UTC)

You did it again!

Well Xam, seems you've reverted my edits again. What's the deal? We can move the discussion to my page if you wish as Romartus suggested. Or do you prefer a Jedi saber duel? --Curtis of Telephones (talk) 22:08, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

I kept part of your Talim edit, but that thing about Hitler was just dumb. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:49, June 3, 2012 (UTC)

Fair enough and thanks. Regarding Algol, in the game, his son stole the swords and went evil, Algol was forced to kill him. I was trying to parody that. Thanks. --Curtis of Telephones (talk) 00:00, June 4, 2012 (UTC)

My dear friend Xamralco

Are we still on for lunch tomorrow at Chez Pierre? --ShabiDOO 02:53, June 4, 2012 (UTC)

I thought we were going to Uncles Joe's All-You-Can-Eat Chinese BBQ Buffet. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:32, June 4, 2012 (UTC)

You stood me up for the last time you big jerk-face. I was there, I even ordered you a drink and had my own starters. And then the waitress asked me if I wanted to go onto the mains. My fact was red...but I was sure you would pull through. Then the waitress tried to take your glass and I said NO....NO...he would never stand me up a 10th time!!! I won't even tell you what happened after I had my seventh glass of wine. I sent the bill for the damages ($23,500) to your house. I hope you'll think again before embarassing me infront of the whole city!!! --ShabiDOO 00:01, June 5, 2012 (UTC)

WHY WHY WHY

hey dude why do you keep deleting my page its the first one i am attempting and keep getting notification its been removed--(Codonrotton (talk) 22:43, June 10, 2012 (UTC))

The main reason was that it wasn't long or refined enough to stay. There are some standards for what an article can be and yours was listed on QVFD. Don't be discouraged, though. When I started out, all of my articles got deleted. I'd recommend reading BGBU and HTBFANJS. Good luck! -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 00:54, June 11, 2012 (UTC)

I'm redesigning my userspace

Further information: User:Qzekrom/blog/2012/06/10

For more information, click here. To see the new look, click here. To give me ideas for my new layout, edit this page. When you have finished recording, hang up or, for delivery options, press #. -- Sir CuteZekromOnTheRadio [CUN • PBJ'12 • PLS(0) • Stuy'16] 23:41, June 10, 2012 (UTC)

Constitution

Would you mind if I add some since you're busy with the PLS? Then again I may not: this is my 2 week vacation, I'm back in the city, but I'm helping my uncle with his moving business, he's got his hands and his trucks full. (Although you may not care one bit about this, and understandably so. LOL) Mattsnow 19:13, June 13, 2012 (UTC)

You might just want to go ahead and do it without me. The PLS itself is a stretch. Just when I thought I was in the clear cause the Shakespeare ended, I found myself doing Sweeney Todd. Don't know when I'll be done with that but I'll try to work on the Constitution thing after PLS or maybe during it. Sorry about all this. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 19:31, June 13, 2012 (UTC)

OK, in the end you may tweak or delete/change some stuff after the smoke clears. But it is very doubtful I'll get much done, since it's a small moving business and one of the employee had a serious injury (piano losing its balance on the 4 wheel while the guy was strapped on, destroying the piano and the guy's back) and his other employees being as reliable as a fortuneteller. It's supposed to be a vacation goddammit! (Although you may not care one bit about this, and understandably so. LOL) Mattsnow 19:40, June 13, 2012 (UTC)

Bring out your dead! It's the UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

June 14th, 2012 • Issue 167 •It's a periodical. Deal with it.

Censorship and The UnSignpost By Chief More of this. It was with some trepidation that the editorial team seized their pens this week, and not just because we don't actually hand-write the USP. The main reason is that the UnSignpost service has been about as frequent as hot Panda sex, which, brings us neatly to our big promise. We can't guarantee news or a that we won't disappear without warning again but we can guarantee talk of Panda sex, as frequently as possible. The big news on Uncyclopedia is the scandalous news that Wikia have added a warning that pops up when you first visit Uncyclopedia, warning readers that Uncyclopedia is objectionable, inappropriate and violent. The obvious question you would expect to be on everybody's lips is "What took you so long?" we've been all those things for years now, it's like they haven't been paying attention. However, the main feeling on the forums are outrage and angry expressions of... well, anger. Bizzeebeever is possibly more outraged than anybody else, something he is demonstrating by being frustratingly American in every contribution to the forum, littering his discourse with "Y'all"'s and "darntootin"'s. Bizzeebeever had this to say about the forum: "Somebody here has serious scratch" which we can only assume means Wikia's ownership of Uncyclopedia is akin to an unpleasant venereal disease. If that's not what it means then that's exactly what it should mean. The UnSignpost is right behind Bizzeebeever in demanding freedom from the itchy sexual diseasy era of Wikia ownership: OUR PENISES DEMAND LIBERTY! The Solution Wikia are denying our todgers their rights. The proposed reactions to being censored in this hideous manner include: filling Wikia's central wiki with porn and other violent content (to demonstrate just how family friendly we are), occupying another wiki, turning the warning pink, voting, voting on the voting, ignoring the warning and looking up Anal licking anilingus on Wikipedia. Spike has also proposed a major letter-writing campaign, as long as all the letters are different and include a lot of long words. It would seem that despite a forum topic and a lot of long blocks of text decrying the notice that it will remain with us for the foreseeable future. The UnSignpost urges readers not to dismay, and not to attempt to suffocate themselves by climbing into large bags of mashed potato. Seriously, it doesn't work and you look really stupid. Happy ANAL LICKING ANILINGUS Thursday! News round-up By Chief Woof Nobody was more disappointed than the UnSignpost staff when they discovered that things had in fact carried on happening while the UnSignpost was on hiatus. The biggest upcoming event is in fact the Poo Lit Surprise! The competition has in fact started, sparing you all the tiresome UnSignpost articles imploring you to participate, unfortunately for you we have not missed the competition itself so prepare for another tiresome UnSignpost article imploring you to participate. The competition is being run by Zombiebaron this year, Zombiebaron has in fact run it for the last two years but has always bullied some other sucker into running it for him and doing all the adding up. Zombiebaron is offering a cash prize of actual cash money which you can actually spend because it is cash money. Zombiebaron is offering templates and shiny imaginary money as prizes which you can't spend except in dreams. Xamralco is opposed to the cash prize because "Material possessions and wealth are so analogue... man" and because he probably won't win it. The UnSignpost would like to point out that any money you receive may have been touched by EMC and Black flamingo and their userpages give you enough of an idea of the sort of things they enjoy touching. Noob of the Moment is running splendidly with users voting and around everybody winning the award at a non-specified moment in time. Last month the winners were XDshempXD, Alpha Quintesson and Mockingbird ST who soared to victory having amassed some votes each. Well done all of you, you're all winners, that said there is a special prize for the real winner, which will be presented to the first one of you to present another admin with Socky's skull on a silver plate. He lives in Belgium, he's the one that isn't a Cow, bring us his head. Pee review has fallen silent which can only mean one thing and it isn't that we have reviewed every single article on Uncyclopedia. This is doubtless because of a lack of work from the fallen ones. Peeing is not only helpful to the wiki but can also win you a diamond studded toilet!! It's a toilet with diamonds! The admiration, respect and gratitude will also be tremendous, and if you pee regularly your bladder won't explode. A Diamond Toilet! So, to recap, that's the respect and admiration of your peers, a healthy non-exploded bladder and a diamond studded toilet! You'd be crazy not to go and review something right now! Finally patrolling edits is a very useful function, much like the ability to pee (diamond studded toilet! Diamond studded toilet!) , and it saves you time, effort and time. However Frosty has noticed that nobody seems to be doing it. Bizzeebeever is in fact winning at patrolled edits and at creating bar graphs to demonstrate points that you don't really need a bar graph to demonstrate. The point is however that if you patrol recent changes you should be patrolling edits. Bizzeebeever even made a javascript to let you patrol thousands of edits per second. Alternatively you could not bother to patrol edits, this would annoy Frosty an awful lot, but it would also let Bizzeebeever win at something, so you should probably do it.

Check out these pages! Wikia are doing this They aren't doing this Poo! Again! Pee my undead minions! And Again!! From our logs (Bumper UnSignpost Absence edition): 05:21, June 9, 2012 Olipro (talk | contribs) blocked Suicidal Depression (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (/wrists) 11:07, June 5, 2012 Black flamingo11 (talk | contribs) blocked 27.159.197.202 (talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Stop telling people about Chanel Handbags, they're all for me I tell you) 07:35, June 2, 2012 ChiefjusticeDS (talk | contribs) blocked 92.234.67.126 (talk) with an expiry time of 3 Days ‎ (DAYUM BRO, YO SHIT IS SO CASH!) 05:06, June 3, 2012 Lyrithya (talk | contribs) blocked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 7 seconds ‎ (Continuing to do things the right way) 23:43, June 5, 2012 Abuse filter (talk | contribs) blocked 95.239.30.1 (talk) with an expiry time of indefinite ‎ (Automatically blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: You bother me.) 12:42, May 29, 2012 Mhaille (talk | contribs) blocked 142.227.28.133 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Latent Hetrosexual) 21:52, May 30, 2012 Electrified mocha chinchilla (talk | contribs) blocked 66.90.101.217 (talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (PWNT LIKE THE FAGGOT NOOB FUCKER THAT YOU ARE!! PWNT PWNT PWNT!!!) 18:19, May 30, 2012 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (talk | contribs) blocked I'mawesomeninja (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Two of your recent edits were shown not to be awesome.) 01:02, May 24, 2012 Roman Dog Bird (talk | contribs) blocked Shoop Da Whoopi Goldberg (talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (best name yet. no, really. i mean that.) Biopic of the Week It's time for biopic of the week! This week the lucky user is Alpha Quintesson. For those of you who have never met Alpha, as I will affectionately call him, he is the nicest fellow you are ever likely to meet. Treading recent changes, wielding a plunger of power armed only with a Noob of the Month award and Uncyclopedian of the Month. A true knight of the Potato shaped table who has reverted more vandalism than most of the admins in recent months. Granted most of the admins are too powerful and lazy to do anything but swat irritably at passing vandals, but without the valuable work of my good chum Alpha the admins would have to actually do some work. I like him so much I might even shorten his nickname again, he can just be Alf, a good strong British name. The highest honour that it is possible for me to bestow, amongst others. Keep up the good work Alf and who knows, one of these days we might promote you to deputy-vice sub-assistant drudge! The possibilities are literally endless! Old-School FA Please note that this article is in no way, shape or form endorsed by or affiliated with Wikia Inc. Corp. Ltd. Wikia is awesome. It is quite simply the best wiki farm available, a breath of fresh air in a sea of stale wikihosts and morally corrupt corporate-run shared hosting deals. Wikia would never think about alienating you or your morals. Why should it? After all, it is hosted by robots that will crush your beliefs and intentions with its delightful selection of stock responses (See Forking of content), and since when did robots have any respect for human morals? But it is still cool. Wikia: not in any way morally questionable Newsroom UnTune of the week UnTunes:Still Alive (Bin Laden 2011 Cover) The Last Word The last word this week is from permanently absent UnNews dictator Zim ulator: 'Zulch! Not so fast! Last pieces of information! Cat the Colourful is a male. Now shuddup <insert name here>.

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--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 10:08, June 14, 2012 (UTC)