User:THE/awardxs

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Grand Cross of the Order

	Writer of the Month January 2008

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Featured Article: Drunk Olympics

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: HowTo:Turn Your Computer On

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: UnNews:Geology classes in Alabama now mandating alternative "Paul Bunyan" theory

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Featured Article: UnScripts:Grass in the Mist

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: UnNews:Anti-genocide group announces new plan to get American government to intervene in Darfur

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Featured Article: UnNews:Record percentage of children dressed up as mortgage foreclosure bankers this Halloween

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Featured Article: UnScripts:Grass in the Mist II

This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?!

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Featured Article: America

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Featured Article: UnNews:Survey on apathy cancelled due to lack of interest

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Featured Article: UnNews:Study reveals 1 in 4 teen girls has an STD; America congratulates teen boys on sexual exploits

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Featured Article: UnNews:Massive stadium brawl breaks out over contemporary solipsist philosophy

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Featured Article: UnNews:Aftershock from Chinese earthquake knocks over American glass of water in "major tragedy"

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Featured Article: UnNews:Obama selects cabinet, still undecided on bookshelf and coffee table

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Featured Article: The Bourne Pottery Class

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Playwright of the Month badge.png

This user is the

August 2007

Playwright of the Month

	Foolitzer Prize Winner November 2007

This user has fixed that damn leaky carburator on the Uncyclopedia Pinto by doing more rewrites than any other user during Conservation Week.

We don't have money, so we just gave them the Greasy Mechanic Award for their help. Get your own next time around and help fix up Uncyclopedia.

This user has fixed that damn leaky oil filter on the Uncyclopedia Pinto by doing more rewrites than any other user during Conservation Week.

We don't have money, so we just gave them the Greasy Mechanic Award for their help. Get your own next time around and help fix up Uncyclopedia.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Rejoice, THE! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Trar has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

User:Mr.Vib has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

TheNewYarkov has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

User:Ljlego has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Gert5 has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

Manforman has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

This userer is kool becasue of their shmarts. They comepleted Polystyrene Man's usrepage challenge on Uncyclopedia. thefiore I's is is gtheereofeore M'kool beudcause tehy got gjthot is it.

CloroxQuest award

This user has successfully found Clorox's hidden links.

Cake slice.jpg

A mysterious stranger has awarded you a slice of cake!

The icing is extra-frosty!

Long Talk Page Award

This person should probably archive his talkpage or something. By "something" I mean "archive his talkpage", 'cause it's really, really long. Even with broadband, it's so long that, by the time it's loaded, I've forgotten what I came here to say. I hope it was something nice. People don't say enough nice things, you know. Why, just last week I was at the movie theater and I told the man in the row in front of me that his bald spot was nice. Well, he just blew his stack right there, punched me in my belly and stormed out. That wasn't nice at all. It was kind of rude, now that I think about it. I only remarked on the niceness of his bald spot because it was perfectly round. I didn't have a circle of similar circumference for comparision, granted, but it was close enough. This talkpage is nice. A bit long, though.

Thank you for choosing
The Red Pill

You've exhibited the capacity for the
divine truths of existence

(*even if you were originally just trying to shed some poundage before the big cruise).

The Folgers brand Folgers Corporation
thanks you for choosing
Folgers Crystals

Your commitment to quality confirms that you are definitely not a pussy.

	HEIL LJLEGO!
	Thanks for voting FOR Nazi in VFH. It's good to know where your priorities lie /me steps back and calls the police.

	Thanks a Bundle
	Thanks for voting for Mad TV. Not that it was stressing me out. What, me worry?	Whoops. Wrong logo.

Lord Kearsy of Wicked

Mr. Kearsy
..is so cool, he doesn't have to say anything in order to thank you. Just look into his eyes and you'll know.

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for HowTo:Be a Jehovah's Witness.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

A tall, dark man pushes a note into your hand; it reads:

"The The Don thanks you for voting for

Film Noir. He offers a free secret from

Jimmy the Shoeshine Boy as a reward."

The man turns away, muttering he has an appointent with someone's mom...

Stalin Grue.jpg

For voting for OCRD, Big Brother thanks you! As a gift in return, have a pet Stalingrue.

BB claims no liability if it bites off one of your fingers or three.

REJOICE!
You have received the
Double-Douser's Award
for exemplary utilization of boiling, scorchingly hot water.

Thank you for helping make
Why?:Pour Boiling Hot Water Down Your Trousers?
the most strongly favored article in Uncyclopedia history!

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a piece of Floridian swampland. They're goin' quick!
	PS: You get this for voting on that UnNews thing I made. Thanks for putting up with my excessive Votewhoring. Stay dry now!

Cartoon chicken.gif

Thanks for the vote!

For showing the good taste/pity to vote for Old McDonald on VFH, 15Mickey20 would like to reward you with a chicken! He hopes you find many uses for this gift.

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for iTrip.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

Thank you for your help in the capture of
Mumulla Abdula Krall
Your vote has aided the US Government in it's ongoing fight against granny terror.

Gert5 has awarded you floppy cake!
Floppies are easy to transparentize, as they are square.

Leoispotter has awarded you a helmet!

Now you can bash your head against a brick wall safely and in style!

Peace, love and Far OUT!

Prettiestpretty appreciates your vote for the

Old hippie chick who's always collecting money on VFH.

Here's ~~two bucks~~ a charming portrait of a bipolar bear for your heartfelt support of manic-depressive wildlife.

Bipolar Bears Rule!!

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for UnNews:Procrastinators Unite Today; Shirt Enthusiasts Enraged.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for HowTo:Beat the Odds.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

Bile Sluggish? Can't Fight the Feelin' Anymore?

Prettiestpretty thanks for your vote on VFH
UnNews:Homeland Security administration declares new "Gut Feeling" threat level

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a bowl of Satan's famous potato salad. Who'd have thought he'd be such a good cook?
	PS: You get this for voting on 667:Neighbor of The Beast. *Now go and "be more like that Satan".*

The
International Stackers Association of America
thanks you for your continued support of

CUP STACKING!
Which, as we all know, is a totally real sport.

Thank you for choosing the Bow tie
You are now more attractive, more intelligent, and more popular in school.

Phffft!

Prettiestpretty thanks for your vote on VFH
For the Poo Lit Best Rewrite of Queef

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for UnNews:For Dummies author earns PhD.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

BIG MOTHER AND BIG FATHER ARE WATCHING YOU!

Though it's cold and lonely in the deep, dark night

They can see a Pair of Dice by the Dashboard Light

Einstein oppenheimer.jpg

Big Brother joins the entire Church of Christ, Scientist in thanking you for voting for Atomic Mass. May your blessings be multiplied in kind.

And may your hairstyle always be more spectacular than that of J. Robert Oppenheimer.

THE/awardxs

I thank you humbly for the opportunity to impose myself upon the tiny box marked Today's featured article. My own little box in this dark corner of the interweb. My welcoming visage, greeting all who visit this cartoonish funhouse of crazy people. The depravity, flowing like gravy down the chin of a senator. This is my honor.

Much appreciated, you bastard.

Yours always,

Duke
(dictated but not read. Transcripted by your pal, THINKER 04:33, 8 August 2007 (UTC).)

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a shiny new Humvee. You may wanna, uh, keep an eye on that, ya know? Just park it in the garage for a few nights, ok?
	Thanks for voting, and remember, don't let yourself be brainwashed by the Eco-Nazis!

	*The Led Balloon has awarded you a handy pamphlet, so that you will always* remember how to check for lumps.**
	Thanks for voting on my article, and giving me TWO FEATURES IN A ROW! Also: beware the deadly lumps!

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for Russian reversal (phenomenon).

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for UnNews:Monogamy in Utah upsets economy.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

THANK YOU FOR VOTING!
You voted for Why?:Remove Your Penis on VFH, and it got featured!! As a token of our humble appreciation, you receive 75% off your next Penis Removal!
Come see us sometime, the doctor would love to ~~meat~~ meet you.

	Necropaxx hath awarded thee a wedge of Holy Cheese!!!!!
	PS: Thanks for voting on Holy Cheese on VFH.

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for UnScripts:Dora the Explorer: The Movie.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

Throws and Downs.jpg

Thekillerfroggy and Doctor Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Skullthumper would like for donating to the Throws and Downs Club of America. So keep your pillows held up in your room, lock your liquor cabinet, and alert the local authorities of possible pillboxes. Only you can prevent pillow fighting!

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for UnScripts:Feel Good Sports Movie.

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

AGGGH! MY EYES!!

On Homer's bloody, and now blind, eyes, Jim Groovester thanks you for voting for The Destiniad.

He also advises you to check your eyes in the mirror, just in case they may happen to be bloody, blind, or a combination of the two. Seek immediate medical attention if any of those symptoms appear.

THANKS!

Please accept this generic thank-you template from Ljlego. Its generic-ness prevents there from being a personalized message. Instead, there is this: Thanks for voting for UnBooks:Dane Cook: An Unauthorized Autobiography, 2nd Edition (New Pictures).

You're still here? I thought we told you that this was generic! There's nothing more! GO AWAY!

	The UnIdiot wishes to acknowledge you for voting for UnNews:Iran to invade Iran, and hopes that you support Iran's plan to invade Iran.
	The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his persistent whoring!

	The Led Balloon thanks you for voting on that UnNews... the one about that guy... Oh, what's his name again?
	Ah well, it's not important. Thanks for voting!

	The UnIdiot has chosen to give you an AK-47 as thanks for voting on HowTo:Be safe with guns, and hopes that you will remember to be safe with your shiny new rifle. Don't shoot your eye out!
	The UnIdiot also appreciates you putting up with his incredible amounts of whoring!

Thank you!
For voting for Books never written!
Cainad thinks you deserve no less than a beige, green-bordered thank-you note for your support.
So that is what you get.

Seriously though, thanks. Leaving the article un-featured as a gimmick seemed... silly.

Aaawww...
THE/awardxs has been diagnosed with cancer.
neck cancer. Yeah. Incurable.

	The Led Balloon has awarded with the gift of sciencey knowledge, because he can already tell that you are smarter than that asshat judge was.
	Thanks for voting, and remember, ~~magic~~ science is all around us!

Enjoy a free bottle of Vila-Coke

For voting yes on the Society for the Intervention and Rehabilitation of Supervillains. SIRS would like to remind all drinkers of Vila-Cola that the product has tested negative for mind-controlling agents and is perfectly safe to drink. Make sure to check out all the other fine products former villains have to offer, and vote for Lex Luthor in the upcoming 2008 presidential election.

On behalf of Prettiestpretty
Mrs. Edwin Standish of Shaker Heights Ohio
Wife, mother and Daughter of the American Revolution
appreciates your good works and attention to detail.
Graciously yours, Mrs. Edwin Standish

You voted...

...for Francis Winkler! In the name of all state-employed public educators of unstraight persuasion everywhere, thank you!

	MrN9000 has awarded you with this rather nicely coloured boxy thing to thank you for voting and helping to get The Color Problem featured on the front page.

	*Please do not mention the colour/color problem. It's not an issue. Really.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away....

It is a period of Galactic unrest. Star Wars was nominated for VFH, but nearly failed, thanks to the efforts of the evil lord Darth Vader.

However, during the nomination, ~~Princess~~ Prince TheLedBalloon managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR.

Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, he races home aboard his starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save his people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

I can't believe it finally got featured, either. Thanks for voting!

	Oh Hell No. LOCK THE WINDOWS AND BOLT THE DOORS, SOME HORNY BASTARD IS COMING TO RAPE YOU!
	I KNOW IT DOESN'T SOUND SERIOUS NOW, BUT JUST WAIT TILL YOU'RE ON THE BUSINESS END OF THAT HORN

On behalf of Prettiestpretty, Mrs. Edwin Standish of Shaker Heights Ohio
Wife, mother and Daughter of the American Revolution appreciates your
vote for Why?:Have Humongous Breasts

Appreciatively and with warmest regards,

Mrs. Edwin Standish

	The Led Balloon thanks you for helping him to spread awareness of the plight of Ogle.
	Beware the white stuff!

769531427 447c16605d.jpg

GopherKiller has given you a free ticket to ride Superman Tower of Bloody Severed Legs for voting on UnNews:Six Flags to sell severed legs in gift shop.

	All Praise and Glory Be Yours!
	You have been emphatically thanked for voting for EPIC FAIL! on VFH.
	Due to the nature of the article, your thanks
	template has been stolen from the template
	that tells people a user has been infinibanned.
	EPIC FAIL!

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