User:TEH ABSOLUT BEST

This user is a Republican and has a bizarre nineteenth century outlook.

They may even work at Focus on the Family, be a hard-working farmer, or, worse, be an unelected conservative activist judge.
For information on the best way to save our great nation from scum like this read the Daily Kos.
(Psst. They're probably also a Nazi; quick! Play the race card!)

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About Me

Hi, I'm a college student from South Jersey, but I go to school in Central Pennsylvania. I'm not a normal college student. My views on the issues are more like those of that guy that didn't get re-elected to the Senate than your typical hippie student (except I'm Protestant, not Catholic). Think of me as sort of a young Jerry Falwell or Mike Huckabee. I do have a sense of humor, but I will not use the Lord's name in vain in my edits. Other than that, I will be willing to do any other edits. I think this is a great site where you can take out your urges to vandalize that evil site (where I secretly have an account but they don't know that I'm a traitor). If it ain't good enough it just gets erased as long as it's not too bad. I look forward to making Uncyclopedia as content-free as possible!

My Userboxes

Babel

en-N

This user is a native speaker of English.

en-N

fr-0

This user does not understand Français (or understands it with considerable difficulties).

fr-0

es-0

This user does not understand Español (or understands it with considerable difficulties).

es-0

MS-0

This user doesn't know how to speak their mind and hates people who speak their minds because they're all annoying know-it-alls.

MS-0

What's Really Important

This user is a Christian (as long as they put a dollar in the box).

This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians)

This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.

…

This user would be a professional procrastinator, but they can't be bothered.

…

This user says "Hi-didly-o neighbourino" to you.

This user enjoys staring at spinning objects, and may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!

YA

This user is a young adult and so is probably poor, lazy and drunk ... or a student.

YA

♂

This user is a boy and is made of trucks, trains, and airplanes.

♂

usbx

This user likes to use userboxes.

usbx

This user identifies as straight, and is probably grossed out by gay PDA.

This user identifies as asexual (mostly because it sounds better than "virgin").

This user supports the genocide of crappy articles.

The Black Knight has never been punished by UnBestiary. Learn from their actions and act like them.

Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.

This user is not a ninja because ninjas are gay.

This user is EXTREMELY RANDOM Be advised: Approach with caution and a sense of humor.

JoW

This user is a suspected sockpuppet of Jimbo on Wales, but hasn't been blocked indefinitely because we are not so-called-experts.

JoW

This user rejects the theory of global warming, or at least thinks it's someone else's problem.

I do not believe in evolution, I prefer the alternate theory of Intelligent Design. I cannot go to hell because there is none.

Sex

This user is against sexuality; probably because it is not a pervert like you.

Sex