User:Sycamore/Arvo Pärt
Arvo Pärt is a leading minimlaist composer and stand up comic. He has the infamy of being Estonia's only famous person..
Early life... What's the difference between a Swede and Turnip?[edit | edit source]
Like all of Estonia, the young Arvo was planting stuff before he could walk, and indeed the vocation fo agriculture proved an early lure for the budding composer, however hi Pa bouht him a Penny Whistle when he was eight and this proved ot be a catalyst for his gradual shist from being a bearded 8 year old peasent to the future benifit tourist and internatinal composer of renown.
Musical Ambitions[edit | edit source]
After playing around in the then communist republic, he aquired a govenrmtn post. It was from there thatbthe the authorites evised that a classical music composer would be ideal for their missions to Western Europe and the United States to spy. This job offer came after many of the female agents married Etonians in order to send their offspring to English private schools and settled down outside of their office as secret agents, irritating many Estonian officials.
They decided to create an agent who would be offputting to women, and also more likely to pursue non-commital sexual relatioships with children or men depending on what direction the wind blowed his beard on any given paticular day so to speak.
"The Beard"[edit | edit source]
Controversy[edit | edit source]
While briefly dating Bjork in the mid-nineties along with half of the zeitgesit music scene at the at the time, Arvo came out as a homosexual, and claimed that the act of sodomy inspired much of his empyrean musical expression. Indeed he felt the very contemplation of anal sex brought him 'closer to God'.