User:Simsilikesims/Soylent Green
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for People? Oh well, it's the same thing really.
“Made by the people for the people from the people.”
“To serve Mankind... IT'S A COOKBOOK! IT'S A COOKBOOK!”
“Just to tell you, that wasn't spam...”
“Mother made a great lasagna!”
“Soylent green is my kind of people.”
“The taste varies from person to person...”
“It goes well with fava beans and a nice kianti”
“It's a shame that cannibalism is now acceptable; I mean how am I going to act out now?”
Soylent Green is manufactured by the people, for the people, from the people, with the people (Now with more people). It used to be crispy in the 1970s. It is soggy at best now. Once Soylent Green meant high quality protein; it is now nothing but fat.It is also another word for blue balls.
Tasty Bite Sized Snack[edit | edit source]
“I donated my family and friends to Soylent Green for bail money. It's a good thing”
Soylent Green is made from really old folks at the retirement home who don't get visitors, people who wear fanny packs and/or visors, the guy who lives at the YMCA, a few kids from Africa (for coloring), fat homos looking for a good time and anyone unlucky enough to be standing outside the factory when they run low on bodies. In a nutshell, it is made of the people, and byproducts of the people for "we the people". This hypothesis is contradicted by late 20th Century findings of Americans as being fucking fat and dying prematurely from said condition of being fucking fat. As of 1973, the only old folks used to make Soylent Green come from Arizona or Florida, with the rest of the USA providing young fat people.
Soylent Green is manufactured in two grades, although few lay-persons can tell the difference. The higher grade is made from still living human flesh, while the lower grade has a slightly flatter taste, and is primarily made from exhumed corpses. Soylent Green provides a huge amount of fatty acids, carbohydrates, and essential vitamins, because it is made from people. Pound for pound, it is probably more vitamin rich in the right proportions than anything else in the world (except for Soylent Orangish Yellow).
Named after the park in London where the very first batch was made, Soylent Green is one of KFC's eleven herbs and spices and has also been known to have been served at McDonalds. One whole fat porcine bastard makes almost 30 tubs of Soylent Green, just enough to give your kids a treat. It was made famous in the film Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle Of Death in the much-censored Kitten Huffing scene.
It's said that somewhere in the African mountains, African gorilla scientists are working on a new type of Soylent Green, made from children mixed in with their ancestors; monkeys, chimps and gorillas.
Other foods made from people[edit | edit source]
- U.S. Democrats' Tasty Liber-Rolls
- Soylent Fetus
- Milk Shakes
- Hamburger Helper
- Human flakes
- Big Macannibal
- Racoon Hot Dogs
- Spam
- Big Mac
- Senator Ted Kennedy's Alcoholic Livers
Trivia[edit | edit source]
The article could be improved by reading it upside-down, or something, I dunno. Did you know it's impossible to lick your own elbow? Unless you're some kind of freak.
- Aficionados often claim that Soylent Green tastes like chicken.
- Soylent Green is disdained by cannibals and is never eaten amongst their tribes. They claim it lacks the "kick" of real, off the bone human flesh.
- It goes REALLY good in Hamburger Helper if ground beef isn't available. Just ask Martha Stewart.
- There's a one in four chance that you are eating a blood relative in every meal consisting of Soylent Green.
See Also[edit | edit source]
•••••Your Guide To Cannibalism•••••Alfred Packer • Baby Eating • Baby farming • Baby food • Baby meat • Cannibal Corpse • Cannibalism • Cannibals • Celebrity Roast • Communion • Cunnilingus • Dinner Party • Fellatio • Fishing For Children • Flying Purple People Eater • G-Rex • Hannibal Lecter • HowTo Cook A Human • HowTo Cook Children • HowTo Cook A Fetus • Human head • I Can't Believe It's Not Soylent Green • McDahmer's • Meaty Amin • Mike Tyson • Nazi Eating • Recipes • Supergirl • Sweeney Todd • Uncle John's Fetus Burgers and Abortion Clinic • UnNews Cannibalism becoming increasingly popular • UnNews Cannibals Stopped • UnNews New TV Trend • UnNews Soylent Green Defamation • Vore • Why? Don't Be A Cannibal • Why? Eat People • Zombies
