User:Mr-ex777/Pokemon (video game series)/Rewrite
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“Truly inspiring.”
“GEN V SUX DICK!!!!!! THE POKEMANZ ARE GHEY,GHEY,GHEY!!111111”
Pokemon is a series of multi-million dollar franchise created by the The aspie Satoshi Tajiri and his friends Junichi Masuda, Shigeki Morimoto and many others. The franchise's legend has been inspired many children, weeaboos, Fantards, and Furries. People who hate it, such has elitist digimon fantards say it is stupid, designed for cute, and only for kids (While they think their stupid stuff is Hardcore), But an undeniable fact that it is the most hardcore and sucessful fanbases and franchise that ever exsisted, and it's legends will pass through many generations of weeaboo fantards.
Generations[edit | edit source]
Generation 1:Good old times.....OR IS IT?[edit | edit source]
Despite hailed by many as the "Original Generation" or "The best generation ever", Gen 1 is actually one of the most broken generations as well as having the most glitchy and low-quality games in the gaming history.Playing a gen 1 game will sure drive you insane due to the sheer brokeness and glitchiness. Yes, The best players losing to a newb, anybody who carries a mewtwo is the pokemon master, psychic types have dang no weaknesses, Ghosts won't work against psychics, bug types and dragon-types are absolute crap... this all happened in the old land known as generation 1.
Despite the sheer rage and crappiness that it brings, it still has it's genre of fandomentalists, which play nothing but generation 1 because the other generations are too suckish for their elite delusional thinking process. This has caused the legendary "War of the generations" Which has been starting in the fandom since gen 4.
Generation 2:The mon wars:New challenger appears![edit | edit source]
Suprisingly pokemon did not end after it's first generation. A second generation is instantly deployed; now they had made the mechanics better, and the game is less broken and glitchy, but overall gameplay is still broken at the least. So what went wrong? The mon wars had started! the first of the mon warriors that come invade the mighty pokemon empire is digimon. Being 10 times cooler than pokemon and armed with 1337 hax0r weaponry, it stole the spotlight from pokemon, and elitist digimon fanturds start to spawn. In fact their anti-pokemon propaganda is so offensive that we might not find a picture.
However, in despair comes at new hope. The classic generation comes with 100 shiny new pokemon; namely a 7 coloured phoenix, a time-travelling pixie, and a evil rock dinosaur. but there is also awful shit such as Alphabets, A punching bag that only has 4 moves, as well as a I don't know what shit. Despite many say gan 2 is better than gen 1, The number of pokemon makes it much to be desired, but it's quality is approved by many fandomentalists.
Generation 3:An "Advanced" start[edit | edit source]
Considered by many or a few as "Sucked", This generation has the lamest and the coolest designs of all pokemon. Who doesen't like A Giant red dinosaur? Or a Sea leviathan? Or a green sky dragon? Or maybe Haet Mudkips? This is the generation.
This generation has created a lot of cool pokemon as perviously listed; aside of the above there are a lot of fan favourites. One of the most notable is Gardevoir, Which is referred as a "Fapbase among fans. Just see how many pr0n you can see when you turn google's safe search off. too awful that there are no eveeloutions, But Absol is there for furries to fap. The evil originizatons has also turned from a gangsta originizaton to two bands of eco-terrorist pirates fighting for more land and more oceans. Thankfully they did not wish for the world to explode, but still. This generation has also introduced abilities and EVs, which are designed to make the game more tedious to play. It is also this generation that Gamefreak learns to troll, Giving a pokemon 670 Base stat total and an ability that makes it move once a turn is Nothing wrong. The 3rd gen also introduced the firered and leaf green series, which proved to be excellence by fandomentalists as the gameplay is the size of their tiny well that they live, only slightly bigger.
However, Pokemon Seems like it has lost the mon wars in the past generation, and due to this hardcore pokemon fans arose and invented the insanely tedious Method of playing pokemon known as "Competitive battling". It is the method of pushing a pokemon to it's full potential and using it to beat human players which own equally powerful pokemon. This has made lot of past fan favourites such as Charizard and typholosion look like a weakling. One of the pioneers of competitive battling is the megalomaniac orginization "Smogon", which is criticized by many as "Not letting you use your favourites" as most fan favourites are outright crappy. In fact, it was unknown why people would use ash's team of crap in their team. These aspiring newfags usually end up in the bottom of all people of the shoddy battle.
Back to the mon wars, as it seems all hope is lost, all digimon has been swept by digivirus and killed. The new generation of digimon is utter crap and are restyles of old ones. This made fandomentalist digiturds ragequit while pokemon still has a solid resistance. Yet the war of the gens has intensified and pokemon fandom is at the risk.
Genaration 4:The Best days[edit | edit source]
Generation 4 is a highly conteversial and legendary generation. Despite it is considered by most fandomentalists as "Worst Generation Ever", "Epic Fail" and "Total crap", but any sensible pokemon fan knows this generation is epic win. In fact most of pokemon culture that we see is based heavily upon this generation.
This generation gave lots of improvements of former pokemon by giving them new evolutions. Despite most of the evoloutions are ugly at the least considered by various fans, (don't let me talking a chimney with a mustache.) It is considered epic by most, as you can see they are pure excellence. Despite most of the new evoloutions are considered 1337, The most famed are the new eeveeloutions; But they are most likely only be loved by the furfags that consist of most of the fandom. Another spotlight is Garchomp. Having a 1337 appearance and extreme strength, It has became the craze of all pokemon fantards across the fandom world. Soon every pokemon fantard's team has a garchomp, and everybody in smogon uses one because it's 1337. If you don't use one, you're not a cool kid and is out. As when this happens, the maniacal totalarterians of smogon decided to put it in uber and the fame died out.
Another GoodStuff of Gen 4, and possibly the one with the greatest impact, Is the pioneer battle collosseum; The Pokemon Battle Revoloution for the wii. It is famed for the AI's sheer impossibility to beat, as they use broken tatics to annoy the hell out of the player, such as a roulette which allows the AI use your own pokemon, While this is not the worst, Sensible players still have one more thing to face; UBER N00BZ! Due to the fact that there are no clauses in PBR, 6 year olds with 6 mewtwos/whatever uber with One-hit KO moves had ran rampant and are plaguing the game. These 6 year old do not have any skill at all; They can and will switch garchomp into an ice beam because their mewtwo is frozen. 1337 hax0rs using wondertomb also ran rampant, but they are not as common as uber noobs. So there is a traditional saying:"Another uber noob -_-......". Overall, PBR is the most broken shit that gamefreak has ever invented; Most sensible players avoid it for a good reason. The GTS, or global trade station is also invented, but due to the weak defenses of the system, It is sabotaged by losers which trade a uber-rare pokemon, such as Deoxys or Arceus (Which is only obtainable by haxing the game at that time) for a ratatta. This has caused millions of rages and collapse of the system.
In 2009, the newest and shiniest 4th gen game has been released, which is the magificent pokemon platinum. This made the greatest impact to the great world of pokemon, as old threats such as weavile had gone down, (Especially Electivire, Which is called "N00bvire" since then by smogon.)while there are 3 new formes of pokemon; The Origin form of giratina, Skymin (a Flying moose/rat like thing), And the rotom appliances, which are err......electeronic appliances instead of pokemon. At first the smogoneers would like to test skymin first in their OU metagame, But it turns out that it's 1337 powah is so powerful that people ragequit upon seeing the awesomeness that it is. After 3 months, it was
banished to company the 1337 uber tier. The next stuff they tested is the rotom appliances, or the lotwut regefirators, washing machines, lawn mowers and more. They had taken the throne from the former premier spinblocker dusknoir, and since then everything that is 4X weak to rock is instant death sentence in the metagame, and will forever put to disuse. The metagame now also consists of cookie cutter-teams, a standard team goes with an Azelf, A rotom form, A Salamence, A Blissey, A Tyranitar, and a Gengar. Little changes and variants have been made, if any; Almost everybody uses Cookie-cutter teams like anybody else. The god of pokemon has also been introduced, known as Arceus, it is a llama with a ring on it's body. it has won
a lot of fame by fanturds known as "arceusists" as well as the entire fandom. It also whipped a lot of conteversy by fundamentalist Christians which think they are devils. How stupid they are.
The last bonquet of gen IV is the remake of the marvelous Gold and silver, Heart gold and soul silver. It also intoduced a newplayer character; Lyra, which it used to replace crystal, the former female player. This has caused conteversy around fandomentalist fanturds which are apparently pokemon haters to this point as every sensible pokefan knows. Another thing that the fandomentalists BAWWWWWed about is the grass is different than they previously see. Although these crtiticisms by nonsensible faggots, it is considered a good game and a classic superiority because almost all pokemon can be captured in one game, and the game had expanded further unlike the crappy gen 3 series which you need all 5 games to see everything.
Generation 5: The gen wars[edit | edit source]
Soon in april 2010, TrollFreak introduced A pokemon known as zoroark, a transforming fox pokemon. This has gave the furries attention. In fact rule 34 about zoroark had appeared a day after it's reveal. This pokemon was OK at the least, but what happens next is a total disaster.
The starter pokemon has been revealed to be; A LEAF SNAKE WITH LEGS, A FIRE PIG AND A CLOWN OTTER!!1111 OMG1!!!!1 THIS IS SOOO GHEY!!11POKEMON HAS DIED!!!!!!111
Yes this is the reaction of all the pokemon fans around the world, and some of them started joining the fandomentalists, while others started leaving pokemon and play call of duty. After this the new mascot legendaries appeared and it was okay, but the disaster returned when a luvdisc ripoff, A Bambi, and A goth and many more "Abominations" have been revealed. Finally,a leak in
the german fanturd site pokexperto sealed the nail in the coffin; Pokemon that are either ripoffs from other game such as digimon, or are just blatantly awful.
This has caused most of fans to BAWWWWWWWW!!!!! or ragequit. While this is not bad enough, Not even a zubat appears in The gen v pokedex! (Yes, not even a Zubat!) This has caused many fans to say "POKEMON ISSSS SOOOOOO GHEY NAO!!!!!!!! IT HAS DED!!!!!" just like what we previously say. And the seal into the nail is the fact that there is no champion, which made more people ragequit.
But not all is doomed. Gen V has introduced new game mechanics and imporvements to make the game less broken, such as the battle subway, unlike it's gen 3 and 4 conterparts, no longer use hax to make you insane, as well as enemy trainers no longer have unlimited potions just to drive you into breaking your NDS. This makes BW easier to play than other games.
Maybe gen V's greatest impact is to the smogon megalomaniacs. First Gamefreak introduced the Dream world, which enables your DS to be connected onto the computer and get pokemon with whole new abilities, which made sableye, Xatu and bidoof (i'm not joking.) into one of the most insane things that you will see. These stuff made smogon ban stuff like crazy, The stuff that smogon bans includes: Automatic sun in any tier lower than OU, Auto-rain + Swift Swim, Moody, Blaziken, Thundurus, Excadrill, Meditite, Carvanha, and the list goes on. It also turned weather from a gimmick strategy into a matured style. Too awful all rain teams are stupendously cookiecutter, as you can't build rain teams without swift swim, so people started to use cookiecutter pokemon that have minor advangates in the rain. Maybe a type, an ability, or a move. The RU tier is also born in Gen V in order to help with the over 300 NU pokemon in the pokedex. Some of the spectaculated stars is a now boosted venomoth, yanmega, entei and porygon-Z. too awful most of them are deemed too broken and are banned. NU pokemon and non-evolved with evolite also ran rampant, and suprisingly, one of the greatest threats is Munchlax, once thought to be a baby pokemon. But maybe The Generation's biggest give is team preview, which lets you see the opponent's team. This has destroyed the cookiecutter teams that ran rampant in Gen IV, and made suicide leads obsolete because they no longer have suprise value. Gen V also names the demise of Ice-types; anything that is ice-type aside of cloyster and mamoswine is instant game over in competitive play, regardless of their stats. This has only made even worse when they banned snover from the lower tiers.
As of 2012 a My little pony like pokemon known as keldeo had been revealed along with another Fapbase pokemon and the new formes of Kyurem, Which is criticized as "Digimon Like" (The new kyurem formes), and "Brony" (Keldeo). But at least it's cool.
Types[edit | edit source]
Normal[edit | edit source]
Full of the most useless pokemon such as Rattata, Patrat and Bidoof. Is mainly considered useless and stupid, as well as some of the worst and annoying pokemon that ever existed. escpecially pink blobs of fat which serve no purpose. Normal fanboys are few and far between due to the pure stupidity of the pokemon type.
Fire[edit | edit source]
Home to the fiercest-looking and most overrated pokemon. Most of them aren't even that strong. Charizard and typholosion are one of the pokemon that fandomentalists love like allah in the eye of a muslim. Fire fanboys are consisted by fandomentalists and dedicated pokemon fanturds. Is considered stupid by smogon due to their weakness to sealth rock.
Water[edit | edit source]
Yet another overrated type under the hands of dedicated fanturds. Most fanturd mary sue teams usually contain a water type starter. Overall The most abundant and overrated type. Water type fans are rivals with fire type fans and often start flamewars. Not favoured by competitive nerds due to ferrothorn.
Grass[edit | edit source]
Is utterly crappy, full of weaknesses and should only be used by people who like to be stupid or enviromentalists. Yet it is again as overrated as fire or water by fandomentalists for the reason "Nostalgia". Also for plant fetishists who like to fap to lilligant.
Electric[edit | edit source]
Is the most overrated type by 6 year olds due to pikachu, which is the most overrated and boring shit that you will encounter in your pokemon life. Also has it's share of furries, although there are less furries than Dark types. Most likely loved by 6 year old ash/pikachu fanboys and furries.
Flying[edit | edit source]
Pointless sub-type. Has absolutely 0 fans. The long spectaculated pure-flying type is a Gross Genie/fujin like thing.
Poison[edit | edit source]
The most annoying type ever. Every time you walk into a cave you will see at least 1000000 Zubats/Golbats, and Every time you get fucking poisoned/confused. Despite only 1 (Tentacruel) is OU in smogon, poison types will annoy the hell out of there due to toxic/Toxic spikes poisoned your entire stall team. Use for trolling.
Ground[edit | edit source]
Despite having the fewest useful moves, anything with this type is uber 1337 aside of stunfisk. Over half of ground types are auto-1337 due Their sheer force and cool design. Just imagine 2 feet excadrill pwing your opponents team of superior pokemon. For smogoneers and tough guys.
Rock[edit | edit source]
A fail to imitate the 1337 ground-type. Despite looks cool and has sky-high defense, They have 5 weaknesses and are not smart. Instant NU unless it's tyranitar. However, a move called stealth rock makes anything 4X weak to rock go instantly to NU,(YOU, Charizard fan!) well, aside of volcarona and Ho-Oh. Not many fans overall.
Ghost[edit | edit source]
One of the reasons pokemon is misunderstood as satan. Is loved by poketards of all sorts because they are all weeaboo emos. In fact all of the ghost types look cool. Possibly Ken Sugimori is an Emo or a Wiccan. Don't forget smogoneers love them as well.
Psychic[edit | edit source]
In gen 1, It is the best type ever and has virtually no weaknesses, as Bug is too crappy, which is made worse that ghost types won't work due to some shit dick crap and the strongest pokemon (Mewtwo) is this type. But later due to dark types and and steel types, turns into total crap.
Bug[edit | edit source]
Runs a reverse road of the Psychic-type. Absolutely the worst type ever in gen 1 as all of them are crappy. But since gen 2 heroes like Heracross, Scizor and Volcarona had risen and now it's quite balanced with tons of superstars. It is a bad trolling type as most of them are between pathehicly weak and uber 1337.
Fighting[edit | edit source]
In gen 1 it is the most useless type as the 1337 hax0rs are all psychic type. But there rose the dark and steel types, and it became of more use, until in gen 5 where the strongest of pokemon are fighting types. Too awful most of them are uglyshit and are hated by hardcore fans. It also houses the gayest pokemon ever; A female machamp/conkeldurr. Seeing one of these will defintely make you vomit your breakfast out.
Ice[edit | edit source]
Once one of the 1337est types ever with 1337 pokemon, now it is one of the weakest types ever. Anything that is of this type is instant death in competitive play regardless of it's stats and stature. Makes Kyurem sad.
Dragon[edit | edit source]
One of the 1337test types as far as fanboys and smogoneers say. a lot of the Legendaries are of the dragon type, and Who doesen't like dragons? Execept that in gen 1 it is absolute crap. The only dragon type move does a fixed damage of 40, and The only dragon is a barney ripoff. It's only weakness is dragons and ice, but it doesen't care as ice has became terrible.
Dark[edit | edit source]
One of the most hyped up and overrated typing due to the furries, goths and emos that infest the fandom. Everybody knows Umbreon is overrated, but if you tell this to an umbreon fanboy he might flame you until your eyes bleed. Stay away from anybody who are fans of this type.
Steel[edit | edit source]
Another top-tier type which is famous for it's manly pokemon. Too awful Mawile is the fapbase of steel fans despite it is shit-weak. Stupid fappers.
Special Conditions[edit | edit source]
These are actually stuff that you can use for Trolling. Using one on your opponent will garuantee that he will pull his hair out and jump out of the window. Escpecially they are used by the AI.
Poison[edit | edit source]
One of the methods of how the AI trolls you. You ran into a Weedle in the start and LOL, he poisons you with poison sting and you have no antidote. Get ready to die.
Bad Poison[edit | edit source]
The fewer your health bar the more damage it will do. Despite not as common in-game, This is One of the methods trolls troll your stupid novelty team in online play. It can be inflicted by the move Toxic, and even worse, Toxic spikes, which will make all your pokemon badly poisoned as you switch and switch. Then you will ragequit and the smogoneers will say "N00b!" just to insult you more.
Burn[edit | edit source]
Not really bad in game, but in competitive play it's maxinum trolling. Lowering your opponent's slaking's attack is just plain lulz. watch out for conkeldurr though.
Paralysis[edit | edit source]
One of the most sucessful trolling wins in gen 1 and later. If your pokemon is paralyzed, you will have a 25% chance of being unable to move. Combine with Air Slash/Iron Head/Prankster for max trolling.
Sleep[edit | edit source]
Trolling to the max. Even better than Confusion, which will be listed below. When your pokemon is asleep, It will not move for 5 turns, and it even RESETS if you switch out pokemon in gen 5! Put all of your opponents pokemon asleep is a good method to troll and becoming a dick.
This says it all for itself.
Freeze[edit | edit source]
The most broken status ever. In gen 1 it's basically death sentence as frozen pokemon will NEVER thaw out. This causes people to spam blizzards to death as in gen 1 blizzard has 90% accuracy. Later a pokemon has 20% chance to thaw out every turn so a pokemon can still be frozen infintely. However it is extremely rare as no move auto-inflicts freeze, so it's less desirable for trolling and is considered hax.
Confuse[edit | edit source]
Although less trolling than sleep this is one of the worst shit that you will encounter in-game. And the worst shit is Zubat and Golbat can be found EVERYWHERE, and despite what they say, Confusion actually has an 120% rate to hit you while 1% for your opponent. Doesen't work on pokemon online as they can just switch anyway.
Attract[edit | edit source]
Causes an opponent of opposite gender to fall in love with your pokemon by 50% while you can't hit it back. As most simulatorfags are too lazy to change their gender, using this condition will cause them to ragequit in front of your awesomeness.
Flinch[edit | edit source]
Skips your turn. In single battles this won't do much; but in double battles, pure trolling. In single battles accompany thunder wave to annoy your opponent to the MAX until he quits due to awesomeness.
Fanbase[edit | edit source]
Pokemon also has it's own Intelligent and witty fanbase. It is mostly considered of the aforementioned Fandomentalists, which despises anything aside of their 2-generation shithole. There are also 16 year old Yaoi Fangirls which draw Red X Lucas hentai shit. Also there are the rule 34 artists which like to draw hentai of everything. Hentai on WHEELS!!<--- The link says it for itself. These rule 34 artists also include furries and fapbases. (Never mind, as Fapbases are furries as well.)
Aside of these there is also the more welcome groups, first are the fandom elitists, which are most likely weeaboos, and their opinion of fandom represents all the fandom. Most of them also cherish japan like their mom. Also there are the aforementioned smogoneers, which ban everything they think is broken, as well as being highly biased like the Conservapedia of pokemon. They are also criticised as tasteless, as most fan favourites are pitifully weak. Mightyena? Bulbasaur? You're not joking.