User:Meganew/The Un-Wiki War/Forces and Timeline

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This page is a more expanded version of info about The Uncyclo-Wikipedian War, which is still going on today. Below are lists of war assets used by Uncyclopedia and Wikipedia during the war. Consider it your briefing, soldier! Now move out!

Uncyclopedian Assets[edit | edit source]

These are our forces, which you may be called upon to command. Remember, we usually have inferior technology, so you'll have to be able to properly use what you get. The majority of Uncyclopedian aircraft are designed to operate in both space and an atmosphere. Exceptions will be noted.

Name Usage Description Amount Remaining Weapons Picture
Airbus A380 Atmospheric Heavy Bomber/Gunship A380s formerly used by the Uncyclopedia Transit Authority were reconverted to their original configuration as a bomber, as were Surplus Grue Army, UNSOC, and Goa Tse Clan A380s also. These can only fly in an atmosphere. 100,000 1 minigun on each side of the aircraft, and a bomb bay full of 24 1 ton bombs, plus a huge laser in the nose.
The A380. The laser is embedded very deep in the nose.
IF-1 If Interception Fighter Formerly the Invisible Fighter, the IF-1 If has been the dogfighter of choice for the Uncyclopedian military, having served since The Great Aspie War of Ought Six. However, it blows up like a TIE Fighter, though its speed and other valuable assets prevent it from dying easily. 500,000 200 Lightning-charged uber cannons, plus infinite bombs and missiles, including 6 nukes.
An extremely talented pilot starts to board his IF-1 If.
B-3 Skylancer Heavy Bomber The B-3 Skylancer has never existed, doesn't exist, and will never exist. However, since it doesn't exist, it can't be easily destroyed, making it the perfect bomber. 1000 A lot of bombs, say... 50 nukes?
A squadron of B-3s being refitted in their hangar.
RC-135 Atmospheric Heavy Bomber It carries bombs and can do a barrel roll, despite being insanely huge compared to fighters... Oh well, at least it can carry nukes... Though it's being replaced since it can only fly in an atmosphere... 10,000 20 nukes
The agile RC-135 "Rivet Joint" executes a textbook barrel roll.
Super-Clipper Gunship It has near-infinite hitpoints and can magically be summoned by someone yelling, "Arrr! Walk the plank!" It can go anywhere, from the sea, to the air, and even in space. 1,000,000 6 cannon, plus 100 or so angry guys with swords and eyepatches.
A Super-Clipper floating in space. This particular example belonged to Rene Corsaire, star of the old show TYATU.
TIE Fighter Swarm Fighter The TIE Fighter was, at one point, the "swarm fighter" among Uncyclopedian forces, capable of overwhelming enemies by the sheer numbers of them. These are gradually being replaced by the new TIE Interceptors. Many are being gutted and converted into TIE Heavy Fighters. 1,000,000 2 laser cannons
A flight of TIE Fighters.
F-Bærum Prototype Fighter A major advancement in Uncyclopedian fighter design, the F-Bærum was superior to almost all previous fighters. It sucked simply because there weren't enough to make a big difference to Uncyclopedian forces. 15,000 2 laser cannons and 100 ICBMs.
The F-Bærum.
Hyperbole F-Long Number Gunship Bomber Destroys most things while flying. Stay out from under foot or be stepped on. 50,000 900,000 machine guns.
An example of A Hyperbole F-Long Number in use by the Uncyclopedian forces.
Mobile Assault Sheep Ground Defense Vehicle An upgrade to the stationary Llama cavalry, these units are able to withstand colder temperatures. 50,000 150mph ramming speed, rockets, and grenades.
This highly deploy item gets nervous in "flavor country".
X-Bærum Uber Fighter Uses a Death Star laser so watch out. Very limited production, though it can fly in the air, in space, underwater, and even inside a planet. 1,000 1 Death Star laser, and 1,000 ICBMs.
The X-Bærum. Though supposed to be a 1337 plane, the X-Bærum never made it to mass production, due to major problems.
F-84H Thunderscreech Atmospheric Assault Fighter Has a propeller so loud, it causes hearing losses and deaths whenever it flies over Wikipedian forces. These are being phased out due to only flying in atmospheres, though the type still sees deployment. 5,000 6 .50 cal machine guns and 1 nuke.
The first Thunderscreech. Anything within 5 miles would have its ears destroyed.
MiG-31 Firefox Light Fighter Cannot be seen by radar, and was brought in by Russian Uncyclopedians, hence the reason why only someone who speaks Russian can fly it. 500,000 2 23mm cannon and 6 thought-controlled missiles.
The ultimate MiG. So stealthy, so fast, so... suckish.
Black Triangle Stealth Strike Fighter Hard to see, most Wikipedians have no idea of the armament on this craft. Very helpful, but easy to see during the day. 1,000,000 3 insta-kill lasers
A black triangle.
Space Shuttle Weapon Launcher Goes into space, launches a laser satellite, comes back into the atmosphere, and does it again. These were bought surplus from the US. 5,000 It can carry 1 laser satellite, which can blow almost anything up with one hit. However, it can only fire twice before running out of power.
A space shuttle lifting off.
User/Autoconfirmed User Soldier/Heavy Soldier These are the bulk of the military. They do pretty much everything, and are all heavily armed. The Autoconfirmed User can use a machine gun, though. 5,000,000,000 Users carry a QVFD Gun, an M82 sniper rifle, a flare gun, and a rocket launcher. Autoconfirmed Users have that plus 10 frag grenades and a .50 cal machine gun.
A group of Users and Autoconfirmed Users.
Sophia-Class Battlecruiser Capital Ship The bulk of the current Uncyclopedia navy, brought to us by an unnamed IP along with other war material. It has big guns not even the toughest Wikipedian ship can destroy, but is pretty fragile. 1,000,000 It has 9 12in guns in 3 3-gun turrets, plus over 20 30mm cannon, and 25 .50 cal machine guns.
The USS Chuck Norris, flagship of the Uncyclopedian navy.
Tiger Woods-Class Aircraft Carrier Capital Ship These are sparsely found, but wreak havoc with their massive amounts of fighters and bombers. They have no guns and are quite flammable, though. 100,000 No guns, but it can carry over 100 fighters and bombers.
USS Mordillo, a Tiger Woods-class carrier that's had the grass flight deck replaced with non-flammable Astroturf.
Soviet Star Cruiser Juggernaut A few have been given to Uncyclopedia by the Soviet Galactic Battle Fleet, and they can pwn any spacecraft that gets near them, due to their uberness. 1,000 1 BFG 9000 cannon firing Epic Win, 9000 laser turrets
The USS Pirat, one of the Soviet Star Cruisers gained by Uncyclopedia.
T-65 X-Wing Space Superiority Fighter The most common fighter of the Rebel Alliance was brought to the Uncyclopedian forces by an anonymous IP. It outclasses most of its type, but is slowly being replaced by the more maneuverable X-83 Twin-Tail. 5,000 4 laser cannons and an infinite number of proton torpedoes.
An X-Wing in use with Uncyclopedia. Note that all of them have orange markings.
Battlemech Soldier Killer The description above will suffice. Mows down soldiers like a hot knife through butter. 50,000 2 20mm cannon in arms.
A Battlemech in action. The thing kills soldiers like there's no tomorrow.
Clone Trooper Soldier Pretty much disposable infantry. Can do a lot better then a regular soldier, though, but lighter armed. 1,000,000 A blaster rifle and 6 plasma grenades.
Your standard clone trooper.
F-35 Lightning II Air Superiority Fighter Pretty good, and they carry a lot of missiles too. However, it's slow and hard to turn. These were captured from Wikipedia, and are a match for most of our fighters in an atmosphere. 100,000 1 minigun and 12 Sidewinder missiles.
F-35s form the backbone of the Wikipedian Air Force, but Uncyclopedians use the type as well.
Y-Wing Medium Bomber An outdated Rebel bomber, given to Uncyclopedia by an anonymous IP. Its only advantage is the fact that it can carry the proton bomb. 100,000 2 laser cannons and an infinite number of Proton Bombs.
The Uncyclopedian Y-Wings are beginning to show their age.
Blood Raven Fighter-Bomber A highly advanced fighter-bomber, capable of doing either or both, donated by the Cafalump Royal Dictatorship. Better then its Wikipedian counterparts, it also has a shield. 50,000 4 light lasers, plus 4 anti-matter warheads or 50 heat-seeking missiles.
Blood Ravens are superior to every fighter and bomber the Wikipedians have.
Oakland Raiders and Pittsburgh Steelers Football Team These guys just wanted to get in on it. 100 None. They just run into other people.
These two teams shouldn't even be here!
EA-336 Space Superiority Fighter Donated by the Intergalactic Guild and better then most of the stuff in use. An excellent fighter capable of doing everything a fighter can do. 100,000 3 plasma cannons and 30 heat-seeking missiles.
The EA-336 Fighter is an excellent craft, loved by most.
EA-512 Fighter-Bomber A bit lighter craft, given to us by the Intergalactic Guild. Capable of being a heavy fighter and light bomber, it's a powerful ship in its own right. 100,000 4 Plasma cannons and 10 nukes.
A good all around craft is the EA-512.
Jeep Vehicle The standard light Uncyclopedian vehicle, more heavily armed then either of its Wikipedian brethren. 500,000 1 minigun, and 1 .50 cal machine gun.
A Jeep in a garage. Very powerful for a lightly armored vehicle.
T-80 Tank The T-80 is the Uncyclopedian counterpart of the M1 Abrams. Though less heavily armored and less heavily gunned, the fact that it can hover over the ground compensates for this. 100,000 1 75mm cannon, 2 .50 cal machine guns.
A T-80 hovering over the ground.
Chronarion-Class Destroyer Capital Ship Chronarion-Class ships are made by modifying captured Testicus-Class ships or constructing them from scratch. In comparison to the Testicus, the ICBM launchers are removed, depth charge launchers are added, and the main gun is reduced to a rapid-fire 50mm cannon. This allows it to carry more torpedoes. 500,000 1 50mm cannon, 2 depth charge launchers, 2 20mm vulcan cannon, and 2 torpedo launchers.
The USS Chronarion, lead ship of its class of destroyers.
Hirox Light Fighter The Hirox is a relatively new design, a merger of a space fighter, A-7, and F/A-18. It is an excellent craft that performs well as an atmospheric fighter and a space fighter. 100,000 4 20mm cannon and 1 1000lb bomb.
A couple of Hirox Light Fighters flying in the atmosphere.
TIE Interceptor Interception Fighter The TIE Interceptor supplied by Darthipedia is a much-needed replacement for the TIE Fighter. Much faster and more heavily armed then the TIE Fighter, the TIE Interceptor is as weak as its predecessor, but has a light deflector shield, allowing it to survive longer then the original TIE. 1,000,000 4 laser cannons at the tips of the wings, 2 underneath the cockpit.
The TIE Interceptor, an excellent replacement for the outdated TIE Fighter. Uncyclopedian TIE Interceptors are painted Red to distinguish them from other TIE Interceptors.
GTF Hercules Heavy Fighter The GTF Hercules has seen a large amount of service. Originally used by the GTVA, ruling party of the Freespace Wiki, to combat the Shivans, it was still in service during the 2nd Great War and still flies today for Uncyclopedian forces. Its 6 gun mounts and large missile banks make it superior to the X-Wing as a heavy fighter. 500,000 6 heavy laser cannons, 30 heat-seeking missiles, and 15 EMP missiles.
The GTF Hercules, though old, is still a match for most Wikipedian planes.
Constitution Class Capital Ship The Memory Beta Constitution Class has proven useful to Uncyclopedian forces in combating the Wikipedian space forces. Inferior to the Wikipedian Excelsior Class, the outdated craft can still give the newcomer a run for its money. 100,000 1 heavy phaser array at front, 1 twin phaser array at back, 2 photon torpedo launchers, 1 at front and 1 at back.
The Constitution Class is the "Cruiser" of the Uncyclopedian space forces. The USS Sysop is a premier example, having destroyed several dozen enemy ships.
X-83 Twin-Tail Space Superiority Fighter An advanced version of the T-65 X-Wing, designed with the wings and cockpit of an X-Wing being attached to a twin-tail design, allowing it to keep its performance in an atmosphere as well as space. 50,000 4 laser cannons and an infinite number of proton torpedoes.
A wing of X-83s. Their atmospheric performance exceeds the X-Wing's.
Viper Mk I Interception Fighter Surplus from Battlestar Wiki, these original Vipers carry lighter armament and are weaker then the later models. They are normally used for Anti-Bomber attacks. 5,000 2 laser cannons.
The VIper Mk I is an inferior fighter, though it's successful in intercepting bombers.
Firespray Class Assault Fighter If you like a fast, maneuverable, and heavily armed craft, then the Firespray is for you. Based off of a scrapped design commonly known as the Slave I, the Firespray is the best fighter in existence, though there aren't enough of them to prove it. 1,000 4 laser cannons and 100 heat-seeking missiles.
The Firespray is an excellent fighter reserved only for elite pilots. Its only downside is its large target profile.
GTF Loki Stealth Fighter Originally the Freespace Wiki's "conspiracy fighter", as it was manufactured by a rogue branch of their government, the Loki's main structural flaw, which got rid of its cloaking device, has been repaired, and the craft is now a relatively heavily armed stealth fighter. 10,000 4 heavy lasers and 10 heat-seeking missiles.
GTF Lokis are in widespread use now that their cloaking device's flaw is fixed.
GTD Hades Capital Ship This superdestroyer was based upon a ship manufactured by the same rogue government branch as the GTF Loki. More powerful then a battlecruiser, but less powerful then a juggernaut, the Hades fills the gap between the Constitution Class and the Soviet Star Cruiser. 1,000 16 laser turrets, 2 heat-seeking missile launchers, 2 cluster bomb launchers, and 2 heavy beam cannons.
The original GTD Hades.
TIE Heavy Fighter Heavy Fighter Older TIE Fighters were stripped down to their bare frames, given new heavy turbolasers, more armor, and a light shield. However, the TIE heavy Fighter is a stopgap until newer designs become available, as it's very slow compared to the regular TIE. 5,000,000 2 heavy turbolasers.
The TIE Heavy Fighter. Though outwardly similar to the TIE Fighter, it has far tougher armor.
Viper Mk II Assault Fighter Heavier then the Mk I, the Viper Mk II was designed to easily take out other fighters before opening up on capital ships with its nuclear missiles. It is slower and less maneuverable then the Mk I, however. 10,000 2 30mm cannon, and 6 nuclear missiles.
The Viper Mk II is a sharp contract to its light and nimble Mk I variant.
N-1 Starfighter Space Superiority Fighter Though outdated when compared to the T-65 X-Wing, the N-1 Starfighter still matches up relatively well. With a light deflector shield, smooth lines, and 2 very accurate lasers, it matches up quite well against some modern designs. 5,000 2 laser cannons, and an infinite number of proton torpedoes.
The N-1 Starfighter, also known as the Naboo Starfighter, is a good all around design.
GTB Zeus Stealth Strike Bomber A high speed and well-positioned gun mounts allow the Zeus to not only bomb capital ships with its light anti-matter warheads, but to also combat fighters. it has the same stealth ability as the GTF Loki, seeing as both were originally made by the same rogue government branch. 5,000 4 heavy lasers, and 5 anti-matter warheads.
The GTB Zeus, like the Loki, a stealth craft.
GTD Orion (Stripped Down) Capital Ship Unwilling to give the Uncyclopedian forces a full-power GTD Orion, the Freespace Wiki instead gave us a stripped-down version of their premier capital ship. Removing one of its plasma turrets, one of its anti-fighter beams, one of its slashing beam cannons, one of its heavy beam cannons, and replacing its other plasma turrets with flak cannons, in exchange for tougher hull plating, this variant is the ship of choice for escorting. 1,000 2 flak cannons, 4 heavy plasma turrets, 2 anti-fighter beams, 2 slashing beam cannons, and 2 heavy beam cannons.
The First stripped-down GTD Orion, the USS Benson.
Squirrel Soldier These are Uncyclopedia's spies. They do the hard job while the others are drinking beer. They won't get paid but please don't tell this to the Squirrels, cause we promised to pay them. 10,000,000 500 Nut bombs, 2 2cm teeth, 1 60mm Nut gun
A squirrel soldier while shooting his nut gun.
Mercury-Class Battlestar Capital Ship Essentially the space counterpart of the Sophia Class battlecruiser, the Mercury Class pays attention to both anti-capital ship and anti-fighter capabilities, hence it having a combinatiion of cannon and missile launchers. 1,000 34 37mm cannon in 17 2-gun turrets, 40 20mm cannon in 20 twin mounts(10 on each side), and 6 nuclear missile launchers.
The USS Oscar Wilde, a premier Mercury-Class Battlestar.
GTF Ulysses Interception Fighter The Ulysses is a rather impressive fighter, with a thin design and 4 lasers. It is very fast and maneuverable, but is rather lacking in the strength department, though it's no TIE. It is an excellent interception fighter, capable of easily taking out Wikipedian bomber wings. 5,000 4 heavy lasers and 20 heat-seeking missiles.
The Ulysses is an effective interception fighter.
GTB Medusa Heavy Bomber Medusas are reasonably powerful bombers, carrying plasma cannons instead of the more common heavy laser, and they are very effective against enemy capital ships with their medium-yield antimatter torpedoes. They also have a gun turret. 5,000 2 plasma cannons, 1 plasma turret on top, and 12 antimatter torpedoes.
Medusas are strong, burly, and dangerous bombers.
GTC Fenris Capital Ship The smallest capital ship currently in use by Uncyclopedia, the Fenris packs a lot of power into a small frame. Designed for quick strikes into enemy territory, the Fenris is easily capable of dispatching warships a class above it. 1,000 3 flak turrets, 1 antimatter torpedo launcher, 4 anti-fighter beams, 1 light beam cannon
The Fenris is a reasonably powerful capital ship. This example, the USS Nihilus, was destroyed by a self-destruct system malfunction.
Raptor Heavy Bomber Capable of doing multiple duties, the Raptor can fulfill multiple roles, including bomber, which it currently does. Loaded either with a hundred-missile rack or a few nukes, a single Raptor can devastate enemies. 1,000 1 100-missile rack, or 5 nukes.
Raptors have their own jump drives, like capital ships.
Viper Mk VII Space Superiority Fighter The Viper Mk VII is not noted for its excellent combination of good maneuverability, high speed, and tough armor. Rather, it's noted for its 3 cannon, one of which is mounted in front of the tail, making it extremely accurate. 1,000 3 30mm cannon
Viper Mk VIIs are the pinnacle of the Viper series of fighters.
GTB Ursa Heavy Bomber If you thought the Medusa was powerful, then you ain't seen nothing yet. The Ursa has a super-tough hull, a powerful shield, and a plasma turret. However, it's slow and maneuvers like a brick. 5,000 5 plasma cannons, 1 plasma turret, and 9 antimatter bombs.
The Ursa's triple-gun rack helps it blow capital ships up.
TIE Export Export Fighter The TIE Export is essentially a TIE Fighter minus 1 laser cannon, a weaker engine, a slightly thicker hull, and a light shield. Solely designed as an export fighter, several of these are in use with recon squadrons, where their performance is excellent. 1,000,000 1 laser cannon
TIE Exports are the result of Uncyclopedians wanting to make a little extra cash. You can buy these at UnCyc.
TIE Deluxe Export Fighter The advanced counterpart to the TIE Export, the TIE Deluxe is similar with only 1 gun, but has improved sensors, a more powerful engine, and a tougher frame. While most of these are for sale, a few remain as second-line fighters. 1,000,000 1 laser cannon
The TIE Deluxe is a more luxurious export fighter. You can buy one at UnCyc as well as the standard model.
GTD Orion Phase II Capital Ship After a while, the Freespace Wiki gave us the parts taken from the first batch of Orions, and we used them in the design of a new ship. A spare batch of sentry guns was included as well, and the design is far weaker, yet superior to the original stripped down Orion, mainly due to the sentry guns' beam cannons owning everything. 500 3 heavy beam cannons, 9 flak cannons, 8 anti-fighter beams, and 20 heavy rapid-fire beam cannons.
The Orion Phase II is a cheap way to turn Orion parts into something worth using. This is the Executor, the first such vessel.
Pyro-BX Stealth Fighter A modified version of the Pyro-GX prototpye, the Pyro-BX is also capable of being invisible to sensors, though it is boxier, slower, and heavier then its Wikipedia counterpart. However, its homing missiles can give it a punch counteracting its slow speed. 1,000 4 laser cannons and 15 homing missiles.
Pyro-BXs are roughly equivalent to the non-stealth Pyro-GL in overall performance.
Pyro-GX Heavy Fighter Though the pre-production models of the Pyro-GX were captured by Wikipedia, the prototype stayed in Uncyclopedian hands, and was produced as the Pyro-GX. It carries decent guns and excellent ordinance, though the production version features plasma cannons, while the prototype carried laser cannons. 1,000 4 plasma cannons and 15 homing missiles.
The Pyro-GX represents the next version of Uncyclopedian fighter.
Pyro-SL Light Fighter With a weaker shield and better engines then the Pyro-GX, the SL variant is more of a light fighter, capable of dodging other crafts' weapons more easily then the GX. It carries the same armament gun-wise as the BX, but uses the same swarm missiles as the Wikipedian Black Pyro. It is similar to the Wikipedian GL variant. 5,000 4 laser cannons and 20 swarm missiles fired in 4 groups of 5.
The Pyro-SL, nicknamed the "Skull Pyro", is a lightly built copy of the Wikipedian Pyro-GL.
Starhawk Interception Fighter The prototype of the Phoenix, the Starhawk carries the same guns, but has a higher top speed and weaker shields. It also carries a very small amount of the swarm missiles used in the Pyro-SL. It does quite well against its production version. 500 4 laser cannons, and 10 swarm missiles fired in 2 groups of 5.
The Starhawk is the prototype of the Phoenix.
Un-Reasonable Exploration and Disccusion Team Fortress Two team Group of people who are composed of a Spy, Sniper, Engineer, Soldier, Spy, Demoman, Heavy, Medic, and Scout. Spy is French man who doesn't surrender, Engineer, Soldier, and Scout are thin Americans (that came as a suprise), Sniper is Australian, Demoman is one-eyed, drunk, black Scotsman, Pyro is a man OR a woman who likes fire, Heavy is Woman and Communist, and Medic is German. 1 Scattergun, Force-A-Nature, Shortstop, Rocket Launcher, Direct Hit, Black Box, Rocket Jumper, Flamethrower, Backburner, Degreaser, Grenade Launcher, Minigun, Natascha, Iron Curtain, Shotgun, Frontier Justice, Syringe Gun, Blutsauger, Sniper Rifle, Huntsman, Sydney Sleeper, Revolver, Ambassador, Big Kill, L'Étranger, Pistol, Lugermorph, Bonk! Atomic Punch, Crit-a-Cola, Mad Milk, Shotgun, Buff Banner, Gunboats, Battalion's Backup, Flare Gun, Stickybomb Launcher, Chargin' Targe, Scottish Resistance, Sticky Jumper, Sandvich, Dalokohs Bar, Wrangler, Medi Gun, Kritzkrieg, Submachine Gun, Jarate, Razorback, Darwin's Danger Shield, Electro Sapper, alotmore guns.
This is the URED team. It has a completely different colour scheme to the FBLU team. Left to right: Pyro; Engineer; Spy; Heavy; Sniper (back row); Scout (front row); Soldier (back row); Demoman; Medic.
Sentry Automated defence gun Made by the TF2 Engineer, these guns can shoot enemies which are detected the sentry's IFF (Identify Friend or Foe). These guns are upgradable so they have, at level 2, two Heavy Machine Guns, and at level three, they have the two HMGs that level 2 has, but also a rocket launcher. The Engineer said, "F'r instance, how am I gonna stop some big, mean Mother Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? The answer: Use a gun. And if that don't work? Use more gun. Like this heavy caliber tripod mounted little old number designed by me, built by me, and you best hope... [deadly serious] not pointed at you. ". Good thing we managed to kill the Wikipedian TF2 Engineer. As many as the Engineer can build. LVL 1 - heavy calibre machine gun, LVL 2 - two heavy machine guns, LVL 3 - two heavy machine guns and a missile launcher (fires four rockets at once).
A level 1 sentry destroying a wikipedian assault force in a narrow alley.
Pyro-SX Assault Fighter This is the heaviest Pyro currently in use. Unlike the other models, it carries projectile weapons, such as the Mass Driver and Vulcan cannon, allowing it to be an effective assault fighter. 1,000 2 20mm vulcan cannon, 2 mass drivers, and 25 swarm missiles fired in 5 groups of 5.
The Pyro-SX is totally unrelated to the Pyro-SL.
U-Boat Submarine Built by the Goa Tse Clan, these submarines are the only weapons Uncyclopedia has what Wikipedia doesn't. 5,000 15 torpedoes and two laser guns equipped on both sides. Can carry 70 crew.
This U-Boat was just completed before the official war ended. However, it was never used.
Commando Elite Soldier The combination of a Terminator and a toy soldier, these man-sized robots are designed to be super-accurate, killing enemies at long range with a basic 9mm pistol. 10,000 A 9mm pistol.
This batch of Commando Elites are being tested by having them shoot at captured Iranian terroists with pistols at a range of 100 yards.
Su-30MKI 'Flanker-H' Atmospheric Fighter-Bomber Designed by Indians working with the Russians, the MKI carries a full load of Curry- and Borscht-tipped bombs, backed up with twin railguns and AMRAAM anti-air missiles under its wings. Showing a comparatively high level of intelligence, several Rednecks from the Confederacy purchased squadrons of the fighter and modified them to drop potato cluster bombs and fire submunition shotgun shells from the railguns. Yee-haw!!! 100,000 24 Borscht or Curry bombs, 2 75mm full-auto railguns in nose, 12 AMRAAM anti-air radar-guided missiles under wings.
A very capable fighter-bomber, the Su-30MKI variant lacks the ability to go into space, and is normally used to soften up remaining enemies.
Tiger II Tank During World War II, Tigers were the toughest tank available to any country. With the Un-Wiki War beginning, Uncyclopedia acquired several hundred of these rock-hard tanks. They have been excellent in surviving hits from the M1 Abrams, but their engines are rather unreliable, and they are very slow. 500 1 88mm cannon in the turret, and 1 7.92mm machine gun.
Tigers are some of the best Uncyclopedian tanks.
游击队 Chinese Soldier When China was fighting against Japan in WW2, those troops scored many victories for Chinese armies. With those troops been recruited in Uncyclopedian-Chinese bases, they surprisingly attacked and destroyed more than 200 Wikipedia M1 Abrams. They are sneaky and very powerful, so watch out, Wikipedians! 6000 One M1911 pistol, one machine gun, 3 traditional Chinese revolutionary cannons, and a knife plus 30 grenades.
A group of 游击队 attacking a Wikipedian division in Shandong Province.
Halftrack Vehicle At the beginning of the war, Uncyclopedians didn't have the money to purchase the latest tanks and vehicles, so they made some of their own to a simple standard. Using parts considered scrap metal by other countries, they developed these Halftracks, faster and weaker then the tanks they faced. These are currently being sold off, as Uncyclopedia now has an adequate amount of tanks. 5,000 1 76mm cannon
These halftracks weren't very pleasing to the eye, but they did their job.
Grue Soldier Members of the Grue Army were part of the war from the very beginning, but they have only recently come out in large numbers. Near-invincibility and the ability to eat anything really help, but they're very vulnerable to light cannons, though they can also change into humans to survive the light. 10,000 None. They just eat their enemies.
Grues are near-invincible, and can easily overwhelm an enemy force in mere minutes. These grues can talk, socialize, and shapeshift into humans to survive the light.
USSR Chernobyl Capital Ship (with mall, zoo and three-ring circus) The USSR Chernobyl was named after a little known scientist who exploded, creating a new element in his basement from nuclear fuel. It's a prototype pinched from Wikipedia (they don't have the resouces to build another), and was given its present name. 1 12 lasers, 15 torpedo launchers, 1 big massive pwner, 7 fighter wings, 11 heat seeking misiles on each craft in fighter wings
Ridiculously strong, the nuclear powered USSR Chernobyl is a massive and fearsome bonus to our assets. The Chernobyl is crewed by loyal Uncyclopedians.

Wikipedian Assets[edit | edit source]

These are the vehicles, planes, and ships that make up the Wikipedian military. Like us, their Atmospheric fighters will be labeled as such.

Name Usage Description Amount Remaining Weapons Picture
Wikipedia Death Star Superweapon The biggest and most powerful superweapon ever made, it can destroy an entire star system planet by planet using its uberlaser. There is only 1 in existence, currently a lifeless derelict, and rumors of Wikipedia making a whole fleet of Death Stars are false. 1 Over 9000 laser turrets, plus an uberlaser that can destroy a planet in 1 hit.
Pure evil in a space station.
Scharnhorst-Class Battlecruiser Capital Ship Geared less towards anti-fighter and more towards anti-ship, the Scharnhorst is the Wikipedian counterpart of the Sophia, though in a one-on-one fight it can decimate the Uncyclopedian Battlecruiser. 500,000 12 16in guns in 4 3-gun turrets, plus 5 20mm cannon and 4 .50 cal machine guns.
WSS Wikimedia, command ship of the Wikipedian Navy.
A-10 Thunderbolt II Atmospheric Assault Fighter The A-10 is a heavy fighter designed solely for the purpose of killing troops, ships, and armored vehicles. It is slower then most, but can seriously wreck most Uncyclopedian ground forces. 250,000 1 20mm vulcan cannon, 4 1000lb bombs, and 6 heat-seeking missiles.
An A-10. Notice the huge rapid-fire 20mm cannon.
A-4 Skyhawk Atmospheric Attack Fighter The A-4 is an elderly but widely used attack fighter, capable of being modified to carry a variety of guns, bombs, and missiles. These can do most anything. 5,000,000 In its standard configuration, it carries 2 20mm cannon, 2 500lb bombs, and 6 heat-seeking missiles.
A wing of Skyhawks.
JAC Lightweight Attack Vehicle Vehicle The JAC(Nicknamed Jack by the Uncyclopedian military) is a standard, cheaply made ground vehicle. It carries 2 people and blows up easily. 1,000,000 1 .50 cal machine gun.
2 JACs and their drivers.
Wikia-Class Battlecruiser Capital Ship The Wikia Class is a newer warship for the Wikipedian navy, made by their allies. It is far superior to our Sophia-Class ships in every regard except anti-aircraft, where it is still more powerful then the Scharnhorst. 1,000 9 18in guns in 3 3-gun turrets, 10 20mm cannon, and 20 .50 cal machine guns.
WSS Armalite, flagship of the Wikipedian 2nd Fleet.
M1 Abrams Tank The Abrams is a near-invincible foe. Very few of these have been destroyed, and their 102mm cannon is a match even for our warships. 50,000 1 102mm cannon on the turret, 2 .30 cal machine guns.
An M1 Abrams tank. Note the size compared to the driver.
B-25 Mitchell Atmospheric Medium Bomber The B-25 is a far outdated design, though it has good up close defenses, it can easily be taken down by a heat-seeking missile. 100,000 1 .50 cal on each side, 1 at rear, 4 in fairings to the sides of the cockpit.
4 B-25s in formation.
F-35 Lightning II Air Superiority Fighter F-35s are the backbone of the Wikipedian air force. Judging by our tests with captured F-35s, the type can not only destroy most fighters with a single missile, but it can hover as well. 500,000 1 minigun and 12 Sidewinder missiles.
A captured Wikipedian F-35 undergoing tests.
F-22 Raptor Air Superiority Fighter This is the latest innovation from the Wikipedians. It is superior to the F-35 in all aspects except weaponry, but it cannot hover. 100,000 1 minigun and 6 Sidewinder missiles.
An F-22 Raptor in flight. If you see one, shoot it down immediately.
F/A-18 Hornet Atmospheric Fighter-Bomber The Hornet has been capable of doing almost everything for the Wikipedians ever since this war started. However, it isn't the best at doing each thing it can do. 1,000,000 1 minigun and 6 heat-seeking missiles.
An F/A-18 taking off.
M12 Explorer Vehicle Essentially a better armored Ford Explorer, and superior to the JAC in defensive capabilities. It can still be pwned by tanks, though. 500,000 1 .50 cal machine gun.
2 M12 Explorers. Capable of killing troops, but not tanks.
Wikipedian Soldier The majority of Wikipedians are these. Comparable to a weaker clone trooper, they are more heavily armed. 5,000,000,000 1 M16, 1 M40 Sniper Rifle, 1 Colt 1911 Pistol, and 6 frag grenades.
A group of Wikipedians preparing to fight.
Chromehound Soldier Killer This blatant ripoff of the Uncyclopedian Battlemech is more heavily armed and armored, but is slower and fires less rounds per minute. 100,000 6 30mm cannon in arms, 2 rocket launchers above cockpit.
A Chromehound firing its full main armament of 6 cannon.
B-50 Superfortress Atmospheric Heavy Bomber Slow but deadly, the B-50 is an adaptation of the old B-29 with greater defensive capabilities and a higher speed. At least 2 engines must be disabled to slow it down, and even then, it won't die without a fight. 500,000 6 .50 cal machine guns in 3 2-gun turrets, plus 4 .50 cal machine guns in a rear mount.
A B-50 Superfortress, the only Wikipedian bomber that can carry nukes.
Zeppelin Airship The Wikipedian zeppelins are filled with Helium, preventing them from burning easily. Their pods are spaced around the airship, giving it fire from almost all directions. 100,000 3 pods, each carrying 2 .30 cal machine guns.
A group of Zeppelins. These can take heavy damage before crashing.
Fat Builders and Losers Union Team Fortress Two team Group of people who are composed of a Spy, Sniper, Engineer, Soldier, Spy, Demoman, Heavy, Medic, and Scout. Spy is French man who doesn't surrender, Engineer, Soldier, and Scout are thin Americans (it's still a suprise), Sniper is Australian, Demoman is one-eyed, drunk, black Scotsman, Heavy is Woman and Communist, and Medic is German. 1 Scattergun, Force-A-Nature, Shortstop, Rocket Launcher, Direct Hit, Black Box, Rocket Jumper, Flamethrower, Backburner, Degreaser, Grenade Launcher, Minigun, Natascha, Iron Curtain, Shotgun, Frontier Justice, Syringe Gun, Blutsauger, Sniper Rifle, Huntsman, Sydney Sleeper, Revolver, Ambassador, Big Kill, L'Étranger, Pistol, Lugermorph, Bonk! Atomic Punch, Crit-a-Cola, Mad Milk, Shotgun, Buff Banner, Gunboats, Battalion's Backup, Flare Gun, Stickybomb Launcher, Chargin' Targe, Scottish Resistance, Sticky Jumper, Sandvich, Dalokohs Bar, Wrangler, Medi Gun, Kritzkrieg, Submachine Gun, Jarate, Razorback, Darwin's Danger Shield, Electro Sapper, alotmore guns.
This is the FBLU team in the URED's colours. Please note that the FBLU are actually blue, not red.
Testicus-Class Destroyer Capital Ship These Wikipedian ships bridge the gap between large battlecruisers and small amphibious vehicles. Though they may look weak, they have torpedo launchers below the waterline, so watch out. 500,000 1 75mm gun, 4 ICBMs, 2 20mm vulcan cannon, 2 torpedo launchers
The WSS Top Gun, a Testicus-Class Destroyer.
Rebel Star Cruiser Juggernaut In a weird twist of fate, Rebel Star Cruisers have been supplied to the Wikipedian forces. Though being as tough as a Soviet Star Cruiser, these are less heavily armed. 1,000 8 heavy lasers in 4 2-gun turrets, 3 beam cannons, 5 miniguns, and 10 auto-turrets.
A Rebel Star Cruiser. While not as heavily armed as its Uncyclopedian counterpart, it can still withstand major damage.
Excelsior Class Capital Ship Delivered by Memory Alpha, the Excelsior Class is slower, but tougher and more heavily armed then our Constitution Class. Cabable of easily besting our ships in a one-on-one fight, we're luicky that Wikipedia has less of them then we do Constitution Class ships. 50,000 2 heavy phaser arrays at the front, 1 twin phaser array at the back, 2 photon torpedo launchers(1 at front and 1 at back).
The Excelsior Class is superior to the Constitution Class as a cruiser.
P-26 Peashooter Atmospheric Light Fighter Far inferior to anything we have, the Peashooter was a commonly used craft during The Powershot Insurrection. Though it was mowed down in the face of more superior fighters, these are still the main fighter used by the Shark Bite Corperation. 10,000 2 .30 cal machine guns.
The P-26 is essentially a nonexistant threat, except in large numbers.
P-12 Atmospheric Light Fighter The P-12 was the Shark Bite design that the P-26 Peashooter replaced. While slower, it could travel farther and carry heavier guns and bombs. Performance-wise, it was more maneuverable then the Peashooter. A limited amount are still used by Shark Bite Corperation forces. 1,000 1 .50 cal and 1 .30 cal machine gun, plus 1 500lb bomb.
P-12s are almost extinct due to their age, but can still prove a hazard to troops.
TIE Clawship Interception Fighter The TIE Clawship is essentially an advanced TIE Interceptor. More maneuverable but less heavily armed then the Interceptor, the Clawship is also slower. However, it has a much tougher hull and shields, making it far superior to our TIE Interceptors, about equal to the X-83. 50,000 4 laser cannons.
The TIE Clawship, a less well armed, but more maneuverable and tougher version of the TIE Interceptor.
TIE Lancet Bomber The TIE Lancet combines parts from an Imperial Shuttle and 2 TIE Bombers to create a powerful new bomber. Capable of not only carrying bombs, but also heavy anti-fighter weapons, the Lancet is a powerful, but rarely-seen foe. 10,000 1 miniature Death Star laser, and 2 laser turrets.
Lancets are surprisingly powerful for their small size.
ARC-170 Space Superiority Fighter The ARC-170 is to space what the F-35 is to air: The ultimate superiority fighter. Though inferior to the X-Wing in armament and toughness, the ARC-170 has one thing that the X-Wing lacks: a rear laser turret. 50,000 2 laser cannons, 1 rear laser turret, and an infinite number of proton torpedoes.
The ARC-170 is slightly inferior to the Uncyclopedian T-65 X-Wing.
F-302 Interception Fighter The F-302 is used by Wikipedia, given to it by the Stargate Wiki. A relatively 100,000 2 railguns, and 6 Sidewinder missiles.
The F-302 is technologically behind, but is still a competitive fighter.
Prometheus-Class Capital Ship A relatively well armed and shielded ship, the Prometheus Class can carry fighters, and can take them out as well with its railguns. They aren't as effective against other capital ships, though. 1,000 24 railguns, and 9 nuclear missile launchers.
The Prometheus Class's anti-fighter guns are relatively ineffective against other capital ships.
Daedalus-Class Capital Ship The Daedalus Class is a more advanced, but smaller version of the Prometheus Class. More capable of destroying enemies then its larger predecessor, the Daedalus also has better capital ship armament then its bigger brother. The current model also has a cloaking device. 1,000 4 Asgard plasma beam weapons, 32 railguns, and 16 nuclear missile launchers.
The Daedalus Class is superior to its predecessor.
MiG-105 Heavy Fighter The MiG-105 was originally a defunct Soviet project designed to intercept Space Shuttles. Now it's in use as a heavy fighter, using surplus Russian machine guns with fragmenting ammo. Its age is its biggest problem, as it's inferior to its Uncyclopedian counterparts. 10,000 4 .30 cal machine guns.
MiG-105s are outdated, though they do their job well.
TIE Scimitar Strike Bomber Instead of using the standard TIE Bomber, Wikipedia modified the design as a strike bomber. Capable of only carrying missiles, the cockpit can act as an escape pod when jettisoned from the rest of the craft. 5,000 2 laser cannons, and an infinite number of missiles.
The Scimitar is a strike bomber, about as good of a ship as the Zeus.
TIE Phantom Stealth Fighter Wikipedia's counterpart of the Loki, the TIE Phantom is a Stealth fighter invisible to sensors. Though more heavily armed and maneuverable then the Loki, it is structurally weaker, allowing the Uncyclopedian craft to easily dominate it in a one-on-one fight. 1,000 5 laser cannons.
The TIE Phantom is roughly equivalent to the Loki in overall performance.
F-301 Light Fighter A shoddily constructed fighter made of a Death Glider and U.S. aircraft parts, capable of carrying 2 weak missiles. Not that effective. 10,000 2 heat-seeking missiles.
F-301s aren't designed for prolonged combat.
Predator Class Scout Fighter Superior to the TIE Fighter, the Predator has a harder to hit shape, shields, and 4 laser cannons instead of 2. Its design is superior to the majority of our fighters. 50,000 4 laser cannons.
The Predator Class is far superior to the TIE Fighter.
Nebula-Class Star Cruiser Capital Ship Though a cruiser in size, this warship has enough firepower to take out a Rebel Star Cruiser, and can take a beating before going down. 1,000 80 heavy laser cannons in 40 2-gun turrets, 40 laser cannon turrets, 20 ion cannon turrets, and 8 missile turrets.
The Nebula Class can take out ships larger then itself.
Victory-Class Star Destroyer Capital Ship Though smaller then the standard Star Destroyer, the Victory Class shares the same basic shape and design as its larger relatives. Its armament is similar but lacks the missile launchers of the Nebula Class, and the ship itself is much larger, though it has 2 shield generators to defend itself from asteroids and the like. 5,000 80 laser cannons in 20 4-gun turrets, 80 heavy laser cannons in 40 2-gun turrets, and 20 ion cannons.
The Victory Class is a middle-of-the-road Star Destroyer.
TIE Heavy Bomber Heavy Bomber The largest and most powerful of all bombers Wikipedia has, the TIE Heavy Bomber carries 4 weapon pods. THe two upper ones are for missiles, while the two lower ones are for bombs. The rate at which it can launch its bombs and missiles is enormous, but its lacking of guns means that it requires fighter escort to its target. 10,000 An infinite number of missiles and bombs. Missiles are fired from the top pods, while bombs are dropped from the bottom pods.
A 360 degree view of the TIE Heavy Bomber.
X-15 Light Fighter A former US military project, the X-15 is now a high-speed light fighter in use by Wikipedia. Though lightly armed and armored, it can obtain enormous speeds, allowing it to show up, attack and scout out the enemy, then fly away at high speed before anyone can do anything. 5,000 2 .30 cal machine guns.
The X-15 is the fastest fighter ever made.
EDian Fighter Assault Fighter The most common EDian craft, these are commonly loaded with flamethrowers, due to EDians' love of flaming, and bombs, seeing as they enjoy dropping "bombs" full of goatse on Uncyclopedia bases they don't like. 100,000 4 flamethrowers and 40 2lb antipersonnel bombs.
The EDian Fighter is far too awful to show, but you'll know what it looks like if you see it.
CED Phoenix Interception Fighter Stolen from the Freespace Wiki, the Phoenix is a powerful and proven design. With 2 "pontoons" flanking the cockpit, high speed, and good guns, the Phoenix is a tough nut to crack. However, its shield is weak, allowing you to quickly blow its hull up. 1,000 4 heavy lasers and 20 heat-seeking missiles.
The CED Phoenix is an excellent interception fighter, similar in performance to the TIE Interceptor.
Magnum-AHT Medium Bomber Another stolen Freespace Wiki prototype, the Magnum is a capable light bomber, with speed slightly lower then the Pyro, but a larger ordinance bank. It carries a combination of missiles and bombs, allowing it to engage different-sized targets. 1,000 2 plasma cannons, 30 heat-seeking missiles, and 5 antimatter bombs.
The Magnum-AHT is a medium bomber, even though it carries rather heavy armament.
Reagan Raygun Armored Car with Mounted Weapons A very strong weapon, on a strong car, makes a very costly superweapon. 1 1 super-strong raygun.
This Reagun Raygun is ready to fire.
Pyro-GL Space Superiority Fighter Capable of hovering, the Pyro-GL is the production version of the captured Pyro-GX Freespace Wiki pre-production models. It has a different tail and shape, but is very similar overall. Carrying a load of swarm missiles unique to the design, it's a relatively hard enemy. 1,000 4 laser cannons, and 40 swarm missiles fired 5 at a time in 8 bursts.
The Pyro-GL is a nasty Wikipedian innovation of a captured Freespace Wiki prototype.
Black Pyro Stealth Fighter A more direct descendent of the Pyro-GX, the Black Pyro retains a smoothed version of the GX's design. Slightly faster and weaker then the GL, the Black Pyro also carries the same amount of fragmentation missiles, though they can be fired at twice the normal speed as well as the normal burst. It also cannot be seen on sensors. 1,000 4 laser cannons, and 40 swarm missiles fired either 10 at a time in 4 bursts, or 5 at a time in 8 bursts.
Stealthy and deadly, the Black Pyro can fire an incredible amount of ordinance at once.
T-72 Tank Proof that Wikipedians are more communist then we are. 100,000 1 120mm cannon, and 2 7.62mm machine guns.
COMMIES!!!
FVM-024 All-terrain Vehicle A vehicle that can go anywhere, and has a strong cannon. 1,000 1 Pissfire cannon
The FVM-024 "Pissfire" is an all-terrain vehicle which can remotely travel across water.
Broadside-Class Star Cruiser Capital Ship Focusing less on guns and more on missiles, the Broadside Class was capable of decimating enemy capital ships with missile strikes before they could get in turbolaser range. It is easily taken out however, as its hull thickness was greatly reduced to allow the massive amount of missile launchers to be fitted. 5,000 2 turbolasers and 40 missile launchers.
WSS Angela, one of the many great Broadsides that got destroyed by the Uncyclopedian navy.
Whoop-Ass Bomb Thrower Troop These guys are annoying to kill. They normally have a 55 gallon drum of Whoop-Ass that they use to fill their bombs with, and a hazmat suit to prevent the Whoop-Ass from whooping their ass. 1,000 5 50 gallon Whoop-Ass bombs.
A Whoop-Ass Bomb Thrower near a Whoop-Ass barrel, used to fill the bombs.
Tankette Vehicle A tankette, is, for better lack of term, a small tank. This current model has a .30 cal machine gun in a top turret, can go 20mph, and has a retractable roof. However, one shot from a real tank will disintegrate it. 50,000 1 .30 cal machine gun.
Tankettes are so small, even children can drive them.
M30 Fireblast Spaceship The M30 Fireblast is an attack ship. It uses a strong fire blast and is engulfed by a fireball. 5,000 1 blast cannon
The M30 Fireblast firing it's blast cannon.
M27 Tankcat Tank The M27 Tankcat was specially designed to take out Uncyclopedian heavy tanks and aircraft. It was also designed to tick off some of the female officers who think that dogs are superior. With a thick hide and dual eye beam weapponry, this is one tough nut to crack. 5,000 2 eye beams.
The M27 Tankcat is a dangerous foe on the battlefield.
B-2 Spirit Atmospheric Bomber Annoying as hell to Uncyclopedian fighters considering its stealth capabilities, the B-2's bombs are the last thing many an Uncyclopedian soldier has seen before being banned/smited. Older-style anti-aircraft guns and modern fighters that can keep up with it have the best chance of killing it. 100 32 nukes
B-2 Spirits are few and far between, but they're deadly.
Meganew/The Un-Wiki War/Forces and Timeline
The current map of the war on Earth.
Grey is Uncyclopedia, Black is Wikipedia. As you can see, we're doing pretty well so far.
War Began:
2001
War Finished:
Still going on.
Place:
The internet.
Status:

  • Invasion of Wikipedia starts
  • Peak of War:Uncyclopedia was about to win.
Impacts of War:
Loss of several prominent Uncyclopedian users, pages huffed, Wikipedians banned
Un-Wiki War
Invasion of Uncyclopedia - Battle of Nintendorulez - Battle of Euroipods - The Battle of AAAAAAAA! - The battle of N00B - The battle of Oscar Wilde - The battle of Captain Obvious - The battle of Kitten Huffing - The battle of Grue - The battle of Your Mom - The battle of Russian Reversal - The Powershot Insurrection - The Nuclear Incident - The battle of Ridgeway Pass - Battle of Subspace - Battle of Darfur(recent) - Earthquake Battle of Kyoto(recent) (These are all known by different names by the Wikipedians, but they are named things like Combat Syrge G/5/083/221 and other incredibly boring stuff like that. Seriously, you don't want to go into this.)

Timeline:[edit | edit source]

2001[edit | edit source]

Sept. 11: 9/11 occurs. Though originally blamed on radical Islamic terrorists, it was really perpetrated by Wikipedia.

Sept. 15: Uncyclopedians discover Wikipedian cover-up and attempt to tell everyone about it.

Sept. 16: Wikipedia threatens to do terrible things to Uncyclopedia should they reveal the information about 9/11. Uncyclopedia ignores it.

Sept. 20: Invasion of Uncyclopedia begins. Outer defenses of the site are leveled, replaced with Wikipedian outposts.

Sept. 30, 2001: Uncyclopedians retreat and begin to plan a counterattack.

Oct. 15: Uncyclopedians deliver powerful counterattack. All but 1 Wikipedian outpost is destroyed, and many huffed pages are recreated. The war rages back and forth with minor skirmishes for several months.

2002[edit | edit source]

Mar. 16: Major Chip Hazard is promoted to commander of the South American and African Uncyclopedia forces, but resigns shortly afterward.

Mar. 17: Wikipedia receives the FBLU (Fat Builders and Losers Union) team from Team Fortress 2, while Uncyclopedians receive the URED (Un-Reasonable Exploration and Discussion) team. This is good, because the URED team constantly pwn the FBLU team. Except at bowling. And driving.

Aug. 21: Wikipedia unveils the Death Star, their new weapon that can take out Uncyclopedia in a single blow.

Sept. 20: On the anniversary of the Invasion of Uncyclopedia, A small Uncyclopedian task force, composed mainly of the Spy, Medic, Scout, Soldier, Heavy, Demoman and Engineer from Team Fortress 2, while Sniper gives covering fire, destroy the reactor for the Wikipedian Death Star, putting it out of action for over 2 years.

Nov. 10: Wikipedians vandalize several pages. They are banned, but use sock puppets and dynamic IP addresses to become a thorn in Uncyclopedia's side for the whole war.

2003[edit | edit source]

Jan. 5: The Battle of Nintendorulez and the Battle of Euroipods. Commander Jules Nintendorulez attempted to defect to Wikipedia with his task force. Nintendorulez had been getting fed up with his superiors' commands, and decided to defect. Fortunately, his task force didn't go along with it, and they permabanned him from Uncyclopedia. However, he would still gain notoriety as someone who attempted to bring down the Euroipod Factory, though he was caught before any serious damage was done.

Jun. 16: The Battle of AAAAAAAA!. Wikipedian vandals put a B in the article, then when it was semiprotected, they modified it using a template edit to put the letter B back in. Fortunately, the page became fully protected and vandalism on it stopped. Some vandals are stabbed by the TF2 Spy.

Oct. 16: The battle of N00b. Wikipedians storm the beach of Orgasm Island, only to be driven off by the defenders. L33t speak becomes banned for Wikipedians, as it contributed greatly to their downfall.

Dec. 30, 2003: Both groups engage each other in a space battle over Earth. Though the battle was inconclusive, most countries decided to join one of the two groups. Royal Dictatorship of Cafalump and Intergalactic Guild donate much-needed war material to Uncyclopedia.

2004[edit | edit source]

Mar. 9: The Battle of Oscar Wilde. Wikipedians stormed up to Oscar Wilde's house and attempted to take him hostage, but the battle that resulted was an Uncyclopedian victory, after they took over the airbase that the Wikipedians were conducting airstrikes on Wilde's house from. The capture also yielded many Wikipedian F-35 Lightning II advanced fighters. The bad thing is that Oscar Wilde was shot in the leg and 100 Uncyclopedians sacrificed themselves for victory.

Jul. 17: The Battle of Captain Obvious. Wikipedians vandalize the Captain Obvious page, replacing it with "This page was just vandalized by Wikipedia, which is better then Uncyclopedia. Captain Obvious". The revert war continued for several days, until the page was semiprotected. The Wikipedians then attempted to vandalize the templates, but an Uncyclopedian airstrike nuked the house they were vandalizing from and killed them.

Nov. 19: Chuck Norris returns to Uncyclopedia during a minor skirmish and roundhouse kicks all the Wikipedians there to death. However, the Wikipedian Death Star is brought back online.

Dec. 25: The Battle of Kitten Huffing. The Soviet Galactic Battle Fleet, lead by the Non-Huffable Kitten, the Partially Huffable Kitten, and TF2's Heavy Weapon's Guy (nobody wants to argue with HIM), attack the Wikipedian Death Star, managing to kill everyone inside and leave it a lifeless wreck in space. They officially swear their allegiance to Uncyclopedia, and begin to attack Wikipedia directly.

2005[edit | edit source]

Feb. 11: High Gen. John Chronarion officially retires from his post as head of the Uncyclopedian military. He is replaced by Gen. Yitzhak Mordillo.

Apr. 23, 2005: The Battle of Grue. Wikipedians opened fire upon Outpost Grue, killing all inside. They were shortly after pwned by grues that lived in caves under that base. There were no survivors.

May 10: The Battle of Your mom. Wikipedians annihilate both your mom and the page, only to be driven back by You. You mercilessly kill the Wikipedians until they retreat.

May 30: Admiral Sophia and Vice-Admiral Cthulhu plan out an experimental test called Project Tentacle. From the notes, it was a project to impregnate female Uncyclopedians with tentacle monsters, then send the out to impregnate female Wikipedians.\

Apr. 23:The battle of Grue. See that photo.

Jul. 21: Project Tentacle shows excellent results. The female users experimented on are placed under the command of Lieutenant Michelle Yettie, who herself was also impregnated with a tentacle monster as part of the project. Any more information on this project has been destroyed.

Oct. 20: The Battle of Russian reversal. The Soviet Galactic Battle Fleet attacks a small Wikipedian outpost, only to find themselves caught in a trap. They were barely able to escape due to a timely IP's intervention. The IP gave the Uncyclopedians lots of new planes, ships, and vehicles.

Dec. 1: Captain Connor 'O Reilly manages to link the European Uncyclopedian resistance with the main forces in the US. This would allow Uncyclopedian control over the northern part of the Atlantic ocean.

2006[edit | edit source]

Jan. 2: Captain E. M. Chiller leads his group of Autoconfirmed users on a small vandalizing spree in Wikipedian territory. This proved to the Wikipedians that Uncyclopedians were capable of and could strike back.

Mar. 13: A Wikipedian spy attempts to test the defenses of Uncyclopedia by masquerading as an auditor. Fortunately, he slipped up by confusing two organizations and was captured.

Jun. 6: Wikipedian Brigadier General Anonymous Slashus attempts to use false information to confuse Outpost Aspie while preparing a massive attack. The attack failed, but not without allowing the Wikipedians to finish work on several new outposts in Uncyclopedian territory.

Aug. 17: Uncyclopedia gets a vital ally in the form of Willy O. Wheeler. His expert vandalizing skills prove vital to the Uncyclopedian forces.

Aug. 30: A Wikipedian assassin, known only as the Serial Blanker, completely kills the residents of 7 Uncyclopedian bases before he is killed. Wikipedia immediately attempts a counterattack, but only succeeds in gaining 3 of the 7 bases, the other 4 being retaken by Uncyclopedia, though using significantly less personnel.

Oct. 29: War Games exercises begin. Uncyclopedian users, lead by Major Boris Codeinov and Lt. Commander J. T. Pawn conduct mock battles using scaled-down amounts of troops and captured Wikipedian material.

Dec. 1: The Powershot Insurrection. Captain Powershot, with the backing of the Shark Bite Corperation, attempts to continually harass the BHOP restaurant chain, which had been supplying Uncyclopedian forces since the war began with food. Powershot's attempt was in vain, as he was attacked by Benson, head of the chain and was overwhelmed by Benson being better then Wikipedia and far better then Powershot. The always lovable Tompkins and Uncyclopedia's first android soldier, The Incinerator, prevented Benson from being attacked by the remains of Powershot's forces.

2007[edit | edit source]

Jan. 2: Liberapedia, the Wikia Coalition, Wookiepedia, RationalWiki, Illogicopedia, and Memory Alpha join Wikipedia. Conservapedia, Wikifur, the Homestar Runner Wiki, Darthipedia, the Freespace Wiki, and Memory Beta respond by declaring war on Wikipedia and joining the Uncyclopedian Alliance.

Apr. 18: Much needed war material is supplied to Uncyclopedian forces from their new allies, including Constitution-Class cruisers, TIE Interceptors, and GTF Hercules assault fighters. Likewise, the new Mon Calamari Star Cruisers and Excelsior-Class ships are supplied to Wikipedia. Both sides arm up over a few months.

Jul. 16: Former Illogicopedia General Nara Lyrithya Defects to Uncyclopedia.

Sept. 31: The Nuclear Incident. A captured Testicus-Class Destroyer reveals a shocking secret: Nuclear warheads built into the ship. Apparently this stripped-down ship was designed to float near the Uncyclopedian headquarters near Uncyclopedia City and explode, spreading radiation over the whole area. Fortunately, users removed the bombs, and sailed the ship into Uncylopedia City harbor, where the ship was refitted as the first Chronarion-Class Destroyer.

Nov. 24: A Wikipedian spy, Richard Holding, gives up his vandalous way and joins Uncyclopedia.

2008[edit | edit source]

Mar. 8: The Battle of Ridgeway Pass. Uncyclopedian forces hold off a Wikipedian assault on the beach. However, as a much larger party of Wikipedians attempted to wind through Ridgeway Pass, Uncyclopedian soldiers ground them to a halt and carpet bombed them. They eventually burst through in a haphazard retreat, and pillaged a small village. They were later nuked, ending the battle.

May 29: Freespace Wiki generals reveal the existence of other planets located in other star systems. The battle is drawn from Earth into space.

Jun. 11: Battlestar Wiki joins the Uncyclopedians in an assault on the Wikipedian Star Cruiser WSS Jimbo Wales, destroying it.

Aug. 19: Wikipedian Masta General Boba Cosby shows his face for the first time, leading several squadrons against several Uncyclopedian Outposts, taking them in the name of Wikipedia. Additionally, the Stargate Wiki joins the Wikipedia Dictatorship.

Oct. 31: The Battle of Subspace. The 1st Uncyclopedian Space Battlegroup, consisting of the USS Pirat, along with several wings of Loki fighters and Zeus bombers, plus 7 Orion destroyers, five U-Boats, and 3 Hades superdestroyers, square off against the 6th Wikipedian Battlegroup, consisting of 2 Rebel Star Cruisers, 10 Excelsior Class cruisers, 2 wings of F-301s, and 1 wing each of TIE Lancets, TIE Clawships, and TIE Phantoms. The destruction of one of the Hades superdestroyers tears open a wormhole, which sends the ships several million miles away. The battle ended with an inconclusive victory.

2009[edit | edit source]

Feb. 27: General Hinoa F. Arash officially goes AWOL. Lost with him are several battleplans, new prototypes, and other important information.

May 16: Several prototypes stolen from the Freespace Wiki are put into production for Wikipedia. These designs are first seen a week later, and are a match for the X-wing and Ulysses fighters that first encounter them.

June 9: The Goa Tse Clan, a terrorist group, attacks Wikipedia's articles on VFD, and attempted to assassinate Commander Otter "at Home" Hom. Anti-Wikipedia propaganda is also handed out.

August 12: Liberapedia pulled out. Wikipedia's allies pulled out a day later.

October 25: Uncyclopedia's allies pulled out. Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia continue fighting.

December 4: Goa Tse Clan started the Battle of Userpages against the Wikipedia Collaborations Project Group (WCPG). Uncyclopedia becme victorious and gains territory.

2010[edit | edit source]

March 18: Brigadier General Khalil "Killer Frog" Gaddaffhi plans for an armistice on the Un-Wiki War.

July 4: Treaty of Giratinaton signed. Un-Wiki War finished, with Wikipedia becoming a clear winner. However, there is still small fighting between Uncyclopedia and Wikia now and then.

Sept. 15: Boba Cosby breaks the armistice by vandalizing many pages before he is killed by the admins. Uncyclopedians again threaten war.

Oct. 4: Major Chip Hazard re-elected as Commander. He brings Gandalf, who uses magic attacks on Wikipedian forces.

Oct. 9: Gandalf becomes bigheaded, and tries to destroy the Wikipedia Headquarters. Gandalf dies(predictably). Londo Mollari joins Uncyclopedian Forces. This causes intergalactic upset, and all the Narns join the Fascist Wikipedians.

Oct. 10, 2010: Wikipedians use Space-proof Bears as main forces are diverted elsewhere.

Oct. 26: Able to spare some outdated war material, Grue Army General Meganew Maximus starts the Merc Squadron War Surplus Store, selling war material to other wikis planning to start their own rebellions, as well as to Uncyclopedians wanting private armies. The Goa Tse Clan merged with the UnLeaks Liberation Authority, its ally in the war, and started planning for the Great Uncyclopedia Article Construction Project.

Nov. 10: The Wikia Coalition begins to fall into disarray, as new wikis attempt to prey on the weakness of the Wikipedians and start their own rebellions. The majority succumb to internal fighting, but a few survive.

Nov. 12: Battle of Wikia. Much of the Wikia Coalition is taken by Uncyclopedian forces but 23% of Wikia remains Wikipedian.

Nov. 23: The remnants of the Wikia Coalition's forces are finally destroyed. In its place lies a multitude of fragmented rebel states. Most of these grow into larger wikis of their own via the accumulation of other wikis, and form a minor truce as the Wikian Confederacy.

Dec. 25: Christmas truce. Presents for everyone.

Dec. 27: Rebellious Wikipedian forces are cowardly and form a truce. This doesn't mean we don't hate them. We may even break it and kill them all.

Dec. 30: Thanks to most of Illogicopedia switching sides and allying with Uncyclopedia, ED finally goes bust.

2011[edit | edit source]

Feb. 24: In honor of the destruction of the Wikia Coalition the year prior, Anonymous chooses to join the fight on the side of Uncyclopedia. The Church of Scientology, knowing that Wikipedia would be a horrible ally due to its attacks earlier in the war, stays out of the fight.

Mar. 31: The Anti-Wikia Alliance makes its way into the picture on the side of Uncyclopedia. Wikipedia and its allies are now severely outnumbered, but the war still rages on.

Apr. 1: After several years of fighting and internal fighting, Encyclopedia Dramatica's forces rebelled against General Sherrod DeGrippo. In response, she pressed the red button (that triggers a self-nuclear attack) and Encyclopedia Dramatica was self-bombed by means of MAD between the forces and the general. The death toll was 89 million people, including civilians. Only 5,670 people survived, including the general, and started a new one to replace Encyclopedia Dramatica, called Oh Internet.

Apr. 2: Wikipedian forces salvaged parts of Encyclopedia Dramatica and found 5,000 survivors of the self-assured destruction (SAD). These survivors rebuilt Encyclopedia Dramatica, albeit in Switzerland, a neutral country that serves as their army base. They later disappeared several months after the incident, only to resurface in Sweden.

Apr. 11: Wikian Senator Sansera Nseto, responsible for the assassinations of several outspoken anti-Wikia leaders, calls for an end to the conflict. Her position, however, only strengthens anti-Wikia resolve.

Apr. 13: A uprising starts in Wikipedia, vandalizing 12 artcles and killing 2333 troops. The wikipedians were fucked out because of this uprising, but they sent ninjas to kill the leader of the rebels, Chuck Norris.

Apr. 15: The Wikipedian ninjas were executed after been found by some shoppers at a market in Matkabu, the rebel capital. A battle occurs in Sudan, with Uncyclopedian loss of 50 troops, and Wikipedian loss of a entire regiment.

Apr. 19: Marshal Zombiebaron leads a division of unregistered Uncyclopedians (mostly from Illogicopedia) to attack France, and they made a successful assault. A second D-Day occurs at the French province of Brittany, and the Uncyclopedians were successful.

Apr. 21: Uncyclopedian forces launch multiple orbital bombardments and airstrikes on the remaining Shark Bite Corperation and ED forces.

Apr. 23: Japan sends Ashigaru (meaning"light footed") troops to both sides. This caused Japan spliting into 2, with the North (Iga province to Ugo province and that island in the north)controlled by Uncyclopedia, and the South (Kyoto province to Satsuma province) controlled by Wikipedia. This is good, because we have control of Tokyo.

Apr. 24-26: Uncyclopedia sends out two USAF bombers, Enola Gay and Bochscar, from America to nuke the Southern Japanese Provinces. Thousands of Wikipedian casualties result, as the Manhattan Project starts all over again, just an awful lot faster 'cause we stole all the notes from the original.

Apr. 25: The Battle of Kyoto. Wikipedian and Uncyclopedian forces both clash in the city and on the page. The Uncyclopedians won both. Note that in the battle of the city the Uncyclopedians used earthquakes and radiation from Fukushima to huff the city. Wikipedian Japanese general Ito Nobuto was captured by the Uncyclopedians when our forces went in the city.

The battle of Ueno. Uncyclopedian commander Mogami Inaga attacked Wikipedian forces in the city of Ueno, Iga Province. Here, rockets destroy a Wikipedian military base near Ueno.

Apr. 26: The Battle of Ueno. Uncyclopedians destroy Wikipedian divisions in the city of Ueno, wounding Wikipedian general Toyotomi Hidemune, as well as launching a nuclear missile to attack Wikipedians in Osaka.

Apr. 29: The Invasion of Noto Peninsula. Wikipedian forces under Toyotomi Hidemune attack Uncyclopedian Japanese at Noto Peninsula, but they were all wiped out. Hidemune was gunned down in the legs. 19999 Wikipedians were pwned in the battle and 150 ships were wiped out!

HMS Toyotomi, the Wikipedian capital ship during the invasion of Noto Peninsula, gets bomboarded by artillery.

Apr. 30: The Battle of Karakorum. 10000 Uncyclopedians besiege the Wikipedian fortress of Karakorum Castle, which have 12000 troops. It results in 200 Uncyclopedians killed and 11986 Wikipedians killed. Wikipedians lose control of Mongolia!!!

May 1: Fighting ceases in the Middle East as moderate communists side with Uncyclopedia in exchange for vodka from our private stashes.

May 4: First Battle of the Congo. Wikipedians attack the article Republic of the Congo, replacing it with the Wikipedian version. 2 days later the Second Battle of the Congo occured, too.

May 6: Second Battle of the Congo. Wikipedians invade the article Democratic Republic of the Congo, but were counterattacked by Chuck Norris's 56th UnBattalion and Samus Aran's 290th UnBrigade. They were later driven back to the article Republic of the Congo, and were soon wiped out by Shogun Chronarion's 980th UnDivision. Internet fighting restarts, but there was still clashes in Japan.

May 9: The Battle of Communism. Wikipedia invades the article, but were driven out by Marshal Zombiebaron's 23rd UnCompany and 467th UnBrigade, codenamed "The Uncyclopedian Soviet Red Army".

May 12: The Siege of Wikipedia:Protection Policies. We stormed up the Wikipedian project page on its badass locks that are used to prevent us from attacking. We succeded, and all the locks on Wikipedia's articles (even the main page)was down.

May 15: Back in Japan the island of Shikoku was occupied by Japanese Imperial troops (Uncyclopedia's backup Japanese)after the siege of the cities of Tokushima and Komatsushima. The Siege of Osaka begun a few days later (see May 18).

May 18: UnJapanese takes down the city of Osaka with the help of rebels that hated Wikipedia. Also in west Africa poop battles are fought around Guinea and Mali.

June 1: On Children's Day Chinese Wikipedia is attacked after Adobe Flash Bomb attacks on their page "今川氏" (Imagawa Clan). Also, Uncyclopedian troops made a massive naval poop attacks on Algerian-Wikipedians in Algeria, liberating the city of Algiers.

June 3: Invasion of Wikipedia begans, delivering Wikipedian troops heavy counterattack. Their main page gate is destroyed, replaced with Uncyclopedian outposts and trenches. Also, several Wikipedian outposts in a neutral wiki called Citizendium was destroyed, which started the Liberation of Citizendium.

June 5: Citizendium liberated, Wikipedian newsletters say that their most trusting ally, MediaWiki, defects to Uncyclopedian forces.

June 22: A Chinese Uncyclopedian attacked Wikipedia articles. The articles went into a edit war after the terrorist attack.

June 29: Thinking that the conflict is lame, a number of nations, such as China, Egypt, Algeria, Libya and India went out of the war along with a few nations who didn't became a military base for the sides by signing the Uncyclo-Wikipedian Non-aggresional Pact.

The nations who signed the Uncyclo-Wikipedian Non-aggresional pact are shown in light grey.

July 2: Uncyclopedia, Wikipedia and the neutral nations went into war, because the wikis wanted the nations to be still in war. China bans Uncyclopedia Chinese completely, and some nations say Wikipedia a asshole.

July 3: The nations easily repel wiki attacks. Unbelievably, Uncyclopedia and Wikipedia work together for a short time.

July 4: Uncyclopedia invades Guangdong province from Taiwan. The Nationalist Chinese work with Uncyclopedia as their dream is to "Destroy the People's Republic of China". India kicks Uncyclopedia in the butt by destroying our troops in Delhi.

July 5: Beijing confrence, neutral nations went into peace and were fighting their own wars.

July 7: Oh shit! Uncyclopedians offensive in Wikipedia goes successful and meets little resistance. T-34 tanks destroy Belorussian WikiKnight battle groups in Eastern Belarus, ready to attack its capital.

2012[edit | edit source]

Jan. 2: Illogicopedia's forces captures southern Spain; We vandalized the Wikipedian article on Saddam Hussein, replacing it with our version.

Jan 20: Operation Doomsday begins. Uncyclopedian troops attack enemy garrisons in West Africa, and on the internet, our admins deleted 5 Wikipedian project pages and replaced 60 articles.

Feb. 19: Al-Qaeda leaves the war along with the Taliban because they completed all of their ordered terror attacks and thinks it's lame.

Feb. 21: The war is less fiercer and not a World War anymore, so people celebrated around the world.

2013[edit | edit source]

Jan. 5: Uncyclopedia gains independence from Wikia.

UncyclopediaRepublic.PNG
Uncyclo-Wikipedian War
Imperial-wikipedia2.png
Main Topics: The Un-Wiki War | Timeline
Battles: Invasion of Uncyclopedia | Battle of Nintendorulez | Battle of Euroipods | Battle of n00b | Battle of AAAAAAAAA! | Battle of Captain Obvious | Battle of Kitten Huffing | The Incident at Grue | The Battle of Your Mom | Battle of Russian Reversal | The Powershot Incident | The Nuclear Incident | Battle of Ridgeway pass | Battle of Subspace | Battle of Sudan | Battle of Kyoto | First Battle of the Congo | Second Battle of the Congo | Battle of Communism
Uncyclopedian Resistance Alliance: The Republic of Uncyclopedia | Conservapedian Jesus Union | Several Wikis that rebelled against Wikipedia | Illogicopedian Confederation | The French Wiki Republic | Anti-Wikia Alliance | The Chinese Wiki Republic
Wikipedian Imperial Alliance: Empire of Wikipedia | Republic of Mediawiki | Serious Wiki Federation | The Sovietwikia Union | Empire of RationalWiki | Fascist Illogicopedian Republic | Swiss-French Wiki Shogunate | McDonald Shogunate | Wikimedian Socialist Republic (Puppet State) | Liberapedian, Wookiepedian, and Stargate Wikian Federational Shogunate
Commanders and Leaders: Sophia, Oscar Wilde, Chronarion, Captain Obvious, Jesus, Anonymous, Samus Aran, Mario, Major Chip Hazard, Mogami Inaga, Chuck Norris | Jimbo Wales, Larry Sanger, Stephen Colbert, Toyotomi Hidemune, Ito Nobuto, Ronald McDonald, Sherrod DeGrippo, alot others
Operations (Major operations in bold): Invasion of Uncyclopedia | Operation Nobunaga (attempt to destroy the Wikipedian Death Star) | 1st Engagement on Jimbo Wales's Userpage | 2nd Engagement on Jimbo Wales's Userpage | Operation OMG | Operation Edit War | Operation Subspace | 1st Manchuria | 2nd Manchuria | Operation Tentacle | Operation Vodka | 1st Un-Qaeda | 2nd Un-Qaeda | Operation Doomsday
Weapons: Machine Gun | Sentry | AJI Missile | Chernobyl Spaceship | Wikipedian Star Cruiser | Omega Master Firepower Grenade | Nuke | Article-Vandalizing Bomb