User:Llwy-ar-lawr/Éowyn

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Éowyn had been born too late and too mediocre. Some women are born mediocre, some women achieve mediocrity, and some women have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Éowyn it had been all three. Even among women lacking all distinction she inevitably stands out as the woman lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who meet her are always impressed by how unimpressive she is.

Some people doubt the very existence of Eowyn and her battles for Humanity and Middle Earth. The group Naive Anthropology Majors Become Librarian Aides, or NAMBLA, feels that its all a bunch of "Jibber Jabber!!". They feel that people who believe anything that is shown on the big screen are morons,(except those that believe the Harry Potter movies, which they insist is real and a much better documentary).

Some people believe that her real name was not Éowyn. This is based on the fact that she was a huge obnoxious drunk, who over indulged in Bloody Marys and Grog and no one ever understood what she really said. Between drooling (like most undergrads) and the occasional blackout, she continuosly talked or babbled on about Elvin battles or Evil Wizards. Many people feel she is just a huge D&D nerd with no friends except for her "3 headed purple Grue with 2d5 + 6". While others believe that her name was really Wyneo (pronounced "Wine-O"), or Oweny (pronounced "O-Weenie"). She has been portrayed in several movies, usually by a dim witted, slightly cross-eyed no skill actress, whos father is a lead singer in a gay-ass band that only the incredibly drunk or the incredibly trashy, sing Karoke to.

It is currently guessed that Éowyn spent part of her life as the ruler of french Polynesia and confederate General.

Though she was the result of incestous action between a pony and a slice of mascarpone cheese, her devoted service as a sugar-cane transporter in Madagascar and Cuba supplied her with the necessary power to exercise her fantasies with the drying corpse of Winston Churchill (with accordance to Jesus' approval, that is). their newborn, José Gaspar Rodríguez de Francia - notorious lover of dogs, was cast aside at the age of six and inspired his mother with the creation of the Frivolous theorem of arithmetic and Foucault's Pendulum.

Kidnapping a time machine, she inspired the kitten huffing Oscar Wilde into the creation of the successful Frodo the Potter and the Goblet of Mordor series. In appreciation to her contribution to the impressionist exploration Wilde, a supposed lover, wrote the above quotation.

During her army Career as a condeferate major she presuaded several soldiers to shoot at the notorious thomas "stoneball" jackson. with his death, major Éowyn was promoted to general and attributed greatly to the renowned condeferate victory at gettysburg under Robert E. l33t, which immediately led to bob!'s rise to power and coup d'etait, a connexion unearthed by scooby doo.

Though she still claims opwnership to a small supermarket in the outskirts of gaza, as do many of the dukes associated to the jerusalem kingdom blood-line, she was compensated for such nonmaterial losses by a stable job as a free-hentai-banner-girl and a respectable seat in the department of pornography of french polynesia, which led to her control of the islands - formerly soviet-dated nuke launch facilities.

Untill a few years ago she was recognized as a leading member of the chauvinist-housewives movement, though her involvement in the respected feminist love triangle consistinfg of the lord of the dance, herself, and captain crunch stole her title.