User:LaundryGamer/Ball in a Cup
“Toss the ball, catch it in the cup, dump it out of the cup, toss it, and catch it in the cup again!”
“It's a ball... in a cup.”
“Has anyone seen my chart on goldfish breeding?”
The game of Ball in a Cup offers many possibilities of gameplay - techniques as to getting the ball in the cub are literally endless, so it'll entertain you for hours on end! Below are some of the most popular methods to getting that sly ball into the wooden, hand painted cup.
Techniques[edit | edit source]
Method 1: The 180 Degree Wrist Flick[edit | edit source]
This is the most popular method. Holding the handle in a fist below the cup, the player flicks their wrist, thus flicking up the ball and hopefully catching it in the cup.
However, this method presents some problems - if the ball doesn't quite make it into the cup, and bounces off the side of the cup, it could hit the player in the face if their face is too close to the cup, which is often a result of extreme concentration. This has incidentally happened to many young players, although most of them were Mexicans, so nobody really cared.
When one is hit in the face by a Ball in a Cup ball, it embeds itself into the player's skin, creeping beneath it and after short period of about two weeks, the ball will hatch, releasing bugs that will feed on your flesh from the inside out.
Method 2: The Twister[edit | edit source]
A more complex technique, compared to the simple wrist flick, which involves holding the handle and carefully moving the cup in a stir-like fashion. As you accelerate the stirring pace, the ball should slowly rise, and by moving the cup accordingly, you should be able to make the ball fall into the cup.
This method is basically risk free, although if the ball suddenly drops out of it's spinning orbit and hits the player's hand, it could very possibly break it. Nobody likes a broken hand, now, do they?
Method 3: Fat Man Eating Chips, otherwise known as Inhalation[edit | edit source]
Aim your mouth in the direction of the cup, and form your lips into a circular shape, so it looks like your about to give oral sex. Grab a knife (something blunt and rusted works best) and stab any part of your body. This will cause you to give a sharp intake of breath, which will bring the ball closer to the cup. Repeat this process a few times until the ball lands in the cup. Gold fish breeding charts can be used to stop any other source of wind interfering with the Inhalation process.
You may notice red, blood like liquid coming from the stab wounds. This is not blood, it is tomato juice. Why you have tomatoes in your stab wounds nobody knows. To complete the process of Inhalation, cut off any part of your body where stab wounds have occured. Sever limbs if the stab wound is on your arm or leg. NOTE: do not practice Inhalation in dark places as grues enjoy eat eating wound tomatoes.
Method 4: Mouth Flicker[edit | edit source]
This is one of the stranger methods, but nonetheless quite a popular one. The handle of the cup is held in the player's mouth, and they then need to move their head accordingly to try and get the ball in the cup with a careful flicking action by either quickly nodding or attempting to use the twister method whilst holding it in their mouth.
There has only been one incident of this technique going horribly wrong. A young boy hit himself in the eye with the ball, and he began to cry. Turns out his mother was in a midlife crisis and having a crying child around her pushed her to the limit. She committed suicide that night. Thus, this method is by far THE MOST DANGEROUS METHOD. Use at your own risk.
Method 5: Persuasion[edit | edit source]
Popular among the more patient players, with careful persuasion it is believed to be possible to get the ball to go in the cup by itself. Professional psychiatrists are, predictably, the best at this method, although that doesn't restrict untrained players to be able to get the ball in the cup through sexual persuasion.
Of course, this method is not without it's dangers as well. This has led to countless suicides, most of those deceased being depressed women who feared unfulfilling relationships.