User:Iwillkillyou333/American Pit Bull Terrier

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
A cute, harmless pit bull who wants to be petted and loved. He deserves a treat, not a muzzle.

The American Pit Bull Terrier (APBT or simply pit bull for short) is a medium sized dog and is one of the greatest, powerful yet most misunderstood dog breed of all time. While having nothing to do with bulls, pitts, or Pittsburgh, it is a member of the molosser breed group and is well known for it's strength despite it's medium size. Due to the stupidity of the media, who constantly show the negative light of the APBT as a so-called "vicious dog" known for dog fighting and aggressive behavior, the breed has been receiving a negative reputation and certain governments have restricted or banned the ownership of the APBT. Despite this, they are viewed by many as some of the most loyal and friendly dogs that a dog owner can have.

History[edit | edit source]

The origins of the APBT began in Europe during the 19th century, where dog fanciers from countries of England, Scotland, and Ireland were experimenting with crosses of two famous breeds; the feisty, active and fearless terriers and the tough-looking, muscular "I'll beat your ass any day fool" bulldog. The main purpose of this was to find a dog that combined the gameness of the terrier and strength and athleticism of the bulldog. They do this by simply by putting a mommy terrier and a daddy bulldog together (or vice versa) on a dinner date, which consisted of entrees of grilled steak and fresh bones covered in gravy with a little game fowl as a side dish and a fine glass of red wine made for dogs while Italian musicians playing "This is the Night" in the background. By the time the desert comes out, which consists of fancy dog biscuits topped with whip cream and a cherry, the two dogs start to fall in love with each other. Overtime their relationship leads to marriage, and when they fall madly in love with each other, they begin to play a game of wrestling on their dog mattress, thus leading to the creation creation of the crossbreed and how marvelous breeds breeds like the American Pit Bull Terrier came into being.

Due to the APBT's unique talents, the breed was sought out by farmers and ranchers.

Characteristics[edit | edit source]

Physical Appearance[edit | edit source]

APBT puppies are soooooooo cute.

The physical appeareance of these wonderful dogs is stunning. If a owner wants a dog with a powerful yet elegant appearance, the American Pit Bull Terrier is the perfect dog. The American Pit Bull Terrier is a medium-size dog with a well-defined muscular body and a short smooth coat. Unlike it's cousin, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier, the face and body of the APBT has fewer bulldog traits, though the bulldog traits are within it's strength and athleticism. Its what's in the genes, not the appearance, that counts.

The fine body of an AmericanPit Bull Terrier. Anyone with a dog fetish would get a boner from looking at this dog.

Their coats are short and smooth. Unlike breeds with long-haired coats like the classy poodles; the dwarf like Yorkshire Terriers; the bushy lhasa Apso; the lovely Cocker Spaniel; and God forbid the seriously long-haired Shih Tzu, who require medium to large amounts of care and grooming on there fur, ABPT's are like most short-haired breeds and do not require much care on their fur, which is a desired trait for dog owner's who don't want to spend a lot of money grooming their dogs. They are, however, average shedders, so it's advise for a owner to buy a reliable vacuum cleaner like a Dyson if they don't want to grow a second dog on their carpet. The color of their coats can be any color, so one should not be alarmed if they see someone walking a pink-colored or purple-colored APBT around town, though something like a rainbow-colored APBT would be a startling sight.

Temperament[edit | edit source]

The APBT is well known for it's loyalty towards it's family and friends, unlike the "they will turn on you and your family" crap the pit haters want everyone to believe.

The APBT has a insatiable desire to please it's owners.

Health[edit | edit source]

How to Own a American Pit Bull Terrier[edit | edit source]

Negative Reputation[edit | edit source]

A poor APBT that must undergo a rough day in public with this stupid contraption around his mouth.

Unfortunately, the APBT reputation has been sour due to

The Truth About the American Pit Bull Terrier[edit | edit source]

“Die? And just who are you to condemn these dogs to death, hmmm?”

~ Doctor Who defending the APBT
Young girl and her pitbull.jpg

Myths and Facts of Pitbulls that are False[edit | edit source]

Punish the deed not the breed poster-p228047730742857703trma 400.jpg
Cute-american-pit-bull-terrier-puppies-picture.jpg

Footnotes[edit | edit source]

Sources[edit | edit source]

See Also[edit | edit source]