User:Gilgal1

Somebody has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

God Hates Gilgal

God thinks this user epitomizes all the sins of mankind.
Yet, in His infinite Wisdom, God has Foreseen the necessity of Terrible people like Gilgal,
and will accordingly Tolerate him until Judgement Day.

...he shall burn in Hell, however.

This user is a Filipino.
Don't look them in the eye – they'll bite you in the ass like a rabid dog.

This user is an Asian and probably lives at an internet cafe playing Counter-Strike24-7.

nj

This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.

Z

This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

This user is a drill sergeant and just loves to turn n00bs into real soldiers!

This user is a member of the League of Benson, and therefore admits that Benson is better than him.

This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled for all honors and persecutions as such.

This user is of the genus Fuckinous Randomious and has eye beams.

This user plays guitar because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.

This user believes that there's nothing like a proper Jihad to ease your pain

This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because he or she thinks that they take things way too seriously over there.

This user walks down the
left hand path.
Thus, they would be considered evil by the Catholic Church.
(List of left hand path Uncyclopedians)

This user has been purified.

This user is Muslim. He/She prays five times a day towards a mondo-cool meteorite from God.

This user is homeless.

This user hates you and everyone you care about.

Jesus loves this user, and has blessed this page.

This user is a paladin. Hide your demons and undead.

Satan loves this user, and will be seeing him/her in hell shortly.

This user is a Viking and enjoys killing, looting and pillaging.

AAAA!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAA!!!

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

MERC	This user is a Mercenary and chooses their own wars to fight in.

This user is a grue and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over?

This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*

This user should not be trusted.

This user's future is so bright they've gotta wear shades.

This user is a geek.

\m/

This user is a metalhead, prone to wearing offensive shirts and headbanging to really loud music. Metalheads also have long hair, but are not to be confused with hippies.

This user is happy to help n00bs. Leave a message here.

This user is convinced that any Unicorn is far superior to a Pegasus.

BS	This userpage is bullshit.

~~Sex~~

This user is against sexuality; probably because it is not a pervert like you.

This user is a capitalist pig and will eventually buy out your puny revolution.

AAH!

Beware this User! They is a Loserman!

MEH

This user redefines lazy!

This user spends more time with a penguin than with a window.

This user is a member of the
Evil Atheist Conspiracy.

"We're after your children and pets."

Darth Rapper?

Yo Luke i'm yo daddy! This page has been approved by Darth Vader and Usher

This user is so pirate, they stole religious doctrine.

tl-0.5

This user annoys people with their little to no knowledge of Tagalog.

fil-N

This user is a native speaker of Filipino.

“If you wanna ride, don't ride the white horse”
~ Raganciano Kapitapitagan Junior on Gilgal1's white horse.

“Ang Arthro po na ito ang nagbigay sa akin ng lakas!!! ANG LAKAS KO!!!"

~ Gilgal1 on Arthro.

“Me like to love you long time! Me like sucky sucky! Me so horny!”
~ Jennifer Garner on Gilgal1.

“I have gravitas!”
~ Gilgal1 on himself.

About my shit[edit | edit source]

Pure blood.

I have suffered the wrath of an Administrator (Isra1337) that was equivalent to the rage of a thousand burning suns. I declared an open revert war with him because I have legions of highly trained foot soldiers and the most modern armored unit in the world. I thought I could win but I was dead wrong. I didn't know that he has WMD and he bombed the living shit out of me. Just like Japan after WW2, I am now living a productive life as a contributor of Uncyclopedia.

I was really sorry for what I have done and I am now reporting to my parole officer every week.

I am a Filipino ang fuckin' proud of it!

My Crap[edit | edit source]

Articles that I wrote:

Collaborative work with other contributors:

Counter Strike
Half-Life - kudos to Engels7111.
Filipino - thanks to MidwayHaven
Homosexuality in the Philippines
Philippine Cuisine
Cueshe
Grand Theft Auto: Philippines
Cloverfield - saved from VFD yay!
Kirk Hammett
Philippines - the long version before it was invaded by dumbasses and got it VFD'd.
Shaft - Ya damn right!

Useless templates that I have done:

People Who Hate BENSON, and by association, also hate Me[edit | edit source]

Pangusto - he thinks I'm an ass for writing "Philippines".
Nihilistic Chimpanzee - he thinks I am a "racialist fuck".^[1]^[2]
Espankeh - he's lethargic, he hates everything about Uncyclopedia, including me.^[3]
Kapuso - he thinks MidwayHaven and I stole his article. We think he's a dickwad. ^[4]
Expletive Deleted - he is funnier than the rest of the Filipino Uncyclopedians, and fucks up all Filipino articles he hated so much. His friends and neighbors think his edits are funny. Also a suspected sockpuppet of Nihilistic Chimpanzee - his constant use of the word RACIALIST and his obsession and love of Encyclopedia Dramatica is a dead giveaway. ^[5]

Cool People Who Love BENSON, but nevertheless still think I'm an ass.[edit | edit source]

MidwayHaven - he wrote several awesome articles while under the influence of PCP.
Show-Ender - collaborated several awesome articles with him, while we were under the influence of PCP.

PCP is AWESOME!

Awards[edit | edit source]

Pocketful of Ninjastars

Awarded for a massive amount of rapid-fire edits to your userpage;
have you noticed the 'Show preview' button? –Codeine

Famine has awarded you a cookie!
Close enough. No longer tho-you're damn near the limit as it is!

Insineratehymn has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

McZee has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

AbaddonGuild has awarded you a cookie!
Now go play in traffic.

HOLY CRAP! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE![edit | edit source]

Holy Swiss Cheese, that's Bat Fuck Insane!

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I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!! I'M BAT FUCK INSANE!!!

They gave me Ninja Stars today! Whopeeee!

--Gilgal1 (Talk to me bitch!!!) 14:40, 19 February 2007 (UTC)

Images That Give Me a Hard-on[edit | edit source]

All your base are belong to us.
AAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I'm bat fuck insane!
No More Nails!
Bullcrap.
I'm Rick James bitch!
And Jesus spake, Is that all you gots, bitch?! My Virgin Mama hits harder than you!!
Oh-oh-oh-oh!