User:Eris Blastar

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Learn all about me and I am the sister of Orion.

What I look like at my job at Apple Computers when I am not spreading discord and chaos and strife elsewhere.
What I look like in real life. Eris Balstar.

Now I tell my story as my brother Orion wrote it long ago. Enjoy.

Orion has tried to keep his many family members secret. His younger brother Apollo Blastar for example is starting up StarStriker Industries with many others. But the black sheep of the Blastar family is the red headed Eris Blastar. Named after the Greek Goddess of Discord/Chaos for a reason. No man or woman can tell her what to do and nobody can seem to control her.

When she was 9 and Orion was 5, a 9 year old bully picked on Orion at School. Eris is overprotective of her brother Orion and beat the bully into a pulp and told him that "You are a retard who just got his butt kicked by a girl. Leave my brother alone or I'll come back to finish the job." That bully's father later paid the Blastar household a visit and talked to their father who stated "Eris cannot be controlled and she has the worst temper problem we've ever seen due to the McCoy gene." the bully's father said "Then I will give her the beating she deserves!" and Eris' father said "Oh no, don't do that, you'll only make her worse." To which Eris said to the bully's father "I'll give you two options mister, either you can lose the attitude and walk out the front door, or I'll throw you out the window." The bully's father said "Little girl there is nothing you can do to me, you're a pipsqueek and I weigh 250 pounds mostly muscle." and laughed at her. He then tried to swing at Eris, but she grabbed his fist and threw him out the window and yelled "Enjoy your stay at the hospital, retard, like your spoiled son, you too got your butt kicked by a girl!" as the bully's father was all cut up by glass and knocked out as he landed on his head.

Where did the white man go wrong? Ask the Native Americans.

Eris Blastar continued her quest for power and studied every fighting style there was to learn. She got the attention of the one true God and he granted her Angel powers to fight the many Gods and Goddesses he claimed were false Gods and needed to be beaten. He granted her energy and matter manipulation powers, a hyper quantum computer mind to figure out every angle of battle and every probability, the ability to grant and remove powers even for herself and duplicate powers and beings by seeing their energy signature and DNA. She stole the powers of the Greek Goddess Eris and then granted them back to her keeping a copy of those powers for herself. After deciding she didn't like being told by God what to do and that nobody should tell her what to do she rebelled and became a fallen angel but made a promise with God not to fight him but to fight demons, devils, Gods, Goddesses, and other beings who threaten the many universes and watch over her brother Orion like a guardian angel. Orion claims he can take care of himself now, but nobody tells Eris what to do and she does as she pleases.

Funny Youtube Movie Trailers[edit | edit source]

Funny or Chaotic images and sayings[edit | edit source]

Broke Bank Mountain, a must see!
Randy Orton pwns Vince.
In the future Eris Blastar evolves into Leelo, The Fifth Element.

“Beware of female red headed pirates, especially those with the last name of Blastar.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Eris Blastar

“Whatever you do, don't shoot her, you'll only make her mad.”

~ Captain Obvious on Eris Blastar

“I thought Orion Blastar was the craziest person I ever met, until I met his redheaded sister Eris. Crazy does not even begin to explain her.”

~ Sigmund Freud on Eris Blastar

“Eris Blastar kicked my ass and then gave me a 45 minute rant on why I was wrong. I have no idea what she said or that I did to make her so upset. But I apologize. I was only trying to train her to be a female Marine.”

~ R. Lee Ermey on Eris Blastar

“She kicks really high!”

~ Kevin Smith on Eris Blastar

Eris Blastar Quotes[edit | edit source]

“I love it when I am being me, because it seems to be pissing off all the right people.”

~ Eris Blastar on Internet Trolls

“You say bitch like it is a bad thing.”

~ Eris Blastar on Mean men and women pretending to be good

“You think you know me, but you don't. I change daily and adapt to change. Too bad you don't do the same things.”

~ Eris Blastar on People who misunderstand her

“Peak Oil and Global Warming are used by politicians to scare people into using more fossil fuels at higher prices as the politicians that believe in Peak Oil and Global Warming own a lot of fossil fuel company stock and take lobbyist and campaign money from fossil fuel companies. Why not take money from green energy companies and ones trying to fight Global Warming and get us off fossil fuels instead? No answer eh?”

~ Eris Balstar on Corrupt US politicians on the left being as corrupt if not more corrupt than on the right

“If Tampax made a Maxipad big enough, it would have plugged that BP Gulf Of Mexico Oil Leak in record time!”

~ Eris Blastar on BP Oil Leak

“They screwed this whole thing upon purpose to escalate the situation.”

~ Eris Blastar on BP Oil Spill

“Both Democrats and Republicans are so corrupt, it's because they're much more interested about distracting us than helping us.”

~ Eris Balstar on US Politics

“Both the liberals and neocons do the same things, but when one group takes over the federal government they do at least 85% of what the others did that they hated and protested over. Hypocrisy is an equal opportunity employer/destroyer.”

~ Eris Blastar on What's wrong with the USA

“Want to know when a liberal or neocon is lying? His/her lips are moving and reading from a teleprompter. It is the same thing with news reporters and talk show hosts/hostesses as well.”

~ Eris Blastar on liars

“Wow, I don't know if I have ever seen quite so many lies and distortions packed into so few words -- even on Wikipedia, The Daily KOS, Conservapedia, Fox News, MSNBC, and Bill Maher, but you take the cake.”

~ Eris Balstar on Anonymous Hackers and Trolls that control news and web sites

“You're quoting Wikipedia and other biased sources like Conservapedia, MSNBC, Fox News, Kuro5hin, and Huffington Post, come on that's like the ugliest kid in school telling them how beautiful they really are. You need to find a real source before you take made up numbers and imagined statistics.”

~ Eris Blastar on Internet Trolls and other Liars

“Thank God for Atheists, at least they don't go around knocking on my door at 8AM trying to sell me a magazine or convert me like the Jehovah Witnesses, Mormons, Southern Baptists, Church or Scientology, and The Flying Spaghetti Monster followers do. That way they at least know when to stay away from me in the morning during my grumpy moods.”

~ Eris Balstar on Atheists

“You're such a gentleman, too bad I'm not a lady.”

~ Eris Blastar on To her enemies who are men

“Girls kick ass; says so on my t-shirt.”

~ Eris Blastar