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Today's featured article Jesus' foreskin, also called the Holy Prepuce (Latin: præputium or prepucium) is the center of many archaeological digs and much Judeo-Christian folklore. Historical accounts of Jesus' circumcision and the location of his holy foreskin are scarce and varied, but Da Vinci's clay mold of Jesus' circumcised phallus is considered the most concise and famous account about the physical details of Jesus' penis and circumcision. Born into a Jewish family, Jesus was most probably circumcised at his bris milah. There are rivaling accounts of Jesus' circumcision and the fate of his foreskin. Luke 2:21 reads: "And when eight days were accomplished for the circumcising of the child, his name was called Jesus." The apocryphal Arabic Infancy Gospel claims the foreskin (others claim it was the umbilical cord) was preserved it in an alabaster-box of old oil of spikenard. (Full article...) Recently featured: Pikmin Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that Uranus is a gas giant? ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun? ... that Uranus is a gas giant? ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun? ... that Uranus is a gas giant?	In the news Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured) NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) On this day... April 11: "Fuck You John Milton" Day (U.K.) 1492 - First slice of buttered toast thrown into someone's face. 1667 - The blind, impoverished John Milton (Pictured) sells the copyright of Paradise Lost for £10 and buys a Milkshake. 1667 - On his way home John Milton is robbed, he hears the robber shouting victoriously "I Drink Your Milkshake" while running away. 1775 - Germany runs out of people to accuse of witchcraft and execute, and begins brainstorming on who to meaninglessly kill next. 1904 - Albert Einstein discovers that he's related to his sister 1984 - Mr. Rogers flips out and assassinates the Thomas the Tank Engine. 1999 - Rain of Tears memorial, mass suicides after first showing of Gigli 2009 - Somebody puts his helmet on backwards, his bike is immediately stolen because he can't see.
Today's featured picture The cover of Grand Theft Auto: Vatican City, in stores soon. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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