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Welcome to Aspiepedia, the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit. 37,619 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...) Aspies should all know... *... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"? *... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"? *... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?	News to whine about Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured) NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) On this day... April 17: Genocide Appreciation Day 1783 - America wins its war for independence. Agrees to continue the British policy of deindianization. 1915 - The Armenian Genocide begins, Turkey declares it to be a startling coincidence. 1932 - Joseph Stalin pays the clouds twelve rubles to stop raining in Ukraine, everyone dies. 1940 - Adolf Hitler attempts to cleanse Europe of Jews and other minority groups, but creates antibiotic resistant Super-Minorities in the process. 1967 - The Beatles write "Hey Jude", (German for "Kill everyone named Jude"). People are oblivious. 1994 - The Rwandan Genocide begins, survivors of this tragedy glad that their suffering begot the critically acclaimed Don Cheadle film Hotel Rwanda. 2016 - The Americans commits horrible genocide against their own brain cells, the rest flee to Canada.
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