User:Cajek/Museum of Misery

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Come see our gift shop!

“This is the worst thing ever.”

~ Captain Obvious on the Museum of Misery

Created in 1993 in Los Angeles, the Museum of Misery is a 5 story building with 120 exhibits, all of which depict the worst aspects of humanity. The founder, a relative of both Anne Frank and the guy who got ran over by that tank in Tienneman Square says that the museum's purpose is to enlighten visitors about tragedy, but with a touch of humor and lightheartedness as well. Each exhibit in the museum has been added to by insightful and interesting clips from performances by legendary men and women of comedy to provide the most enriching experience.

Slavery in America[edit | edit source]

The slavery exhibit was the first installation in the museum proper. "From the early 16th century to the middle 19th," says the plaque, "Africans were forcibly displaced from their homes for unpaid slave labor in the Americas." The plaque continues, "But that doesn't mean they didn't have any fun!" The display case shows early slaves playing the first form of basketball. "You see? Black people CAN jump!"

The audio tour is hosted by Eddie Murphy, and includes favorite lines from that comedian's career, interspersed with the museum founder's commentary about how "funny black people are". The tour ends on a happy note, showing a mural black teens playing basketball in a park. "There is hope for black people today. If only they would play their favorite sport more often, maybe they wouldn't be in gangs so much."

At the end of the hallway, a single box of tissues sits for any killjoys who did not appreciate the exhibit.

Part of an UnSeries
on Misery

ApathyCalculus
CastrationCorset
DeathDepression
Disenchantment
FearExistential Angst
Fuck AllGive a shit
HamletHeadOn
HellHope
Internal auditLoneliness
PainPessimismPissed
Psychological Torture
QuittingSuicide
Turn Your Life Around
TortureWake Up

He's miserable. Are you?