User:Axalon

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

“This is me. Start Spreading the news.”

~ Khazar on Axalon
United States
This user is American
…and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
United States
Boredkid.jpg
This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
Boredkid.jpg
This user is a boy and is made of trucks, trains, and airplanes.
en-N
This user is a native speaker of English.
en-N
es-2
This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of Español.
es-2
ns-1
This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Newspeak.
ns-1
ja-X
This user only speaks 日本語 enough to seduce native 日本語 speakers .
ja-X
Firefox Logo.png
This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.
Firefox Logo.png

Biography[edit | edit source]

Childhood[edit | edit source]

Axalon was raised by a group of giant enemy crabs. He enjoyed such pastimes as reading, watching the television device, and the intarweb. His foster group taught him the lost art of real-time weapon change. When he reached the age of 13, he completed the rite of passage of flipping them over and attacking their weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE.

Adolescenthood[edit | edit source]

Axalon's adolescent years were a creamy blend of fansubbed anime, teenage angst, and Linux. After defeating his giant crab foster family, he went to Sony Computer Entertainment HQ and became a ridge racer! RIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDGEEEEEEE RACERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Uh, I'm running out of ideas here. After waking up from a coma after getting into a horrendous accident that actually took place in Ancient Japan, he set off to fight the forces of Evil™.

Adulthood[edit | edit source]

After promptly getting bored of that, he decided the forces of Evil™ weren't worth it and is currently going to accidentally the music world with musical stylings that RAWK YUOR SAWKZ. Or maybe software engineering. One of the two.

Cadaverhood[edit | edit source]

Whoa! Time paradox! Axalon is still alive! Funny how that works.