User:Armando
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Foolitzer Prize Winner September 2006 |
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Drongos just became an endangered species. |
Armando Perentie is a large, docile goanna from south-eastern Australia. Other than basking in the sun on warm, toasty bitumen, drinking beer and wasting time here, his interests are few and equally pointless.
He is also the founder, chairman, chief executive, chief correspondent and editor-in-chief of the Goanna News Network, a niche news operation with correspondents in Melbourne, Pakenham, Pakenham Upper, Alice Springs, Canberra, Cardiff, Beirut, Ballarat, Beijing, Damascus, Islamabad, Mindanao, Mexico (Day Effay), Washington (Day Effay), South Yarra and Arkham, Massachusetts.
My load of old bollocks[edit | edit source]
UnNews:
UnNews:Tebow shitcans make-up artist after Matthew 6:5-6 blunder
UnNews:Bloke not telling 7-Eleven clerks about armed robber any more
UnNews:Police search for sceptical vandal
UnNews:Slave to the Grind matches Dr Feelgood on two-song basis
UnNews:Cosmic Psychos, Hard-Ons, Skid Row Unaware of Related iTunes Downloads
UnNews:McCain pledges to 'reach out to the Gaysian community'
UnNews:Jeopardy producers sue Sodomy! creator
UnNews:AC/DC fan admits best AC/DC song is actually by The Casanovas
UnNews:Steve Kernahan named Australian of the Year
UnNews:India wake up, get clue, win Test match
UnNews:Tony Greig announces release of limited-edition Shane Warne "Red Wings" souvenir
UnNews:Gran Turismo 5 to include carbon-offset option
UnNews:'Niggers will steal our watermelons,' Australian government warns
UnNews:Cairne Bloodhoof praises 9/13 attackers in video message
UnNews:Call for world leaders' penis size to be made public
UnNews:Doctors warn of Scrotox dangers
UnNews:MTV announces launch of Chimp My Ride
UnNews:Six-year-old girl denies "slut" claim
UnNews:Sunnis, Shia clash at Australian Open tennis
UnNews:Saudi king rockets onto approved dictators list
UnNews:Mother Teresa appears in KY handprint
UnNews:Freddie Flintoff: "Smoke 'em if you got 'em"
UnNews:Chris Isaak not sure about all this talk about "San Francisco values"
UnNews:Newspaper makes all sections more appealing
UnNews:Australia shits itself about Fiji coup
UnNews:Prince Charles: "I say! Pakistan's a bit of a rum show, wot?"
UnNews:"Stingray" skate skates at ray-sting arraignment
UnNews:Conservationist alarmed by retreat of South Yarra Ice Shelf
UnNews:White House releases approved dictators list
UnNews:National Piss in the Sink Week launched
UnNews:Virgin Kalimdor announces one-copper flights to Ogrimmar
UnNews:Google, Yahoo! join forces to combat "lol fraud"
UnNews:Phone books are our cultural heritage, say police
UnNews:Chinese blogger's death brings the gift of life
UnNews:Moro Islamic Liberation Front needs new acronym
UnNews:Pastafarian uprising stuns Middle East
UnNews:Mark Webber is rubbish, says Australian Formula One champ
UnNews:"Where is the love?" asks stud stallion
UnNews:Mexico seeks return to pre-1848 borders
UnNews:Foreigners don't understand democracy, says Bush
UnNews:Australia orders fleet of prison hulks
UnNews:Cthulhu severs ties with Miskatonic University
UnNews:Goanna ordered to see optometrist
UnNews:'Bugger that for a joke,' says Australian soldier
UnNews:Blogger stoked by spike in traffic
UnNews:Welshman sick of people using the word "welsh"
UnNews:Police launch manhunt for beer burglar
UnNews:Hezbollah scores own goal, says murdered Colombian footballer
UnNews:Call to list US Republican Party as terror group
UnNews:Dozens killed in Habbo Hotel bombing
UnNews:Zizou gotta rattle them pots 'n' pans
UnNews:New tsunami 'hardly worth getting out of bed for'
UnNews:Call for help in clearing region's ethical minefields
UnNews:Syrian torturer disappointed by suspension of US rendition flights
Stuff I wrote but which is probably totally different now:
Sport in Australia (apart from the ACL)
And in UnBooks:
UnBooks:DownTheTubes (Former Ferret Squad detective Peter Ploddart's no-holds-barred memoirs)
And in lieu of a free set of steak knives:
I used to waste my time blogging at Roadkill Goanna but I don't any more. It was stupid anyway.
Stuff that rocked my casbah[edit | edit source]
UnNews:67% of Israeli teens call current war "bitchin'!"
Shiny things[edit | edit source]
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This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled to all honors and persecutions as such. |
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On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! |
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This user is hereby nominated as the GIVE MORDILLO A FOOLITZER CAMPAIGN MANAGER. May god have mercy on his soul if he fails |
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This user is a Marree Man. Drongos just became an endangered species. |
 Knight Commander of the Order |
And, er, that's it[edit | edit source]
As we say in Oz: "I hope your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down." And "Don't let your meat loaf." -- Sir Armando Perentie 
KUN FP 14:38, 31 July 2006 (UTC)
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Like The Smoking Man says: Passive smokers should piss off and buy their own. |