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You suck at this game.
RuneScape
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Developer(s) Flower Power Gower
Publisher(s) Flower Power Gower Publishing
Designer(s) Flower Power Gower Publishing Designers inc.
Engine Java the Hutt
Latest version 7.5 Alpha Beta Gamma Delta
Release date(s) 2 hours before dawn of time
Genre MMORPGAY
Mode(s) Single player
Cabbage seller
PKer mode
Multiplayer Cabbage Mode
Chicken match(Pilla-Pollo)
Going Ganking and then getting backstabbed
Paid version
Rating(s) M(MMO'ISH)
Platform(s) Computer, PC, Comp, PC-CDROM, & Helipad
Media Paparazzi
System requirements Time, lots of timer
Input Keyboard, Mouse, Ears, Sound, And Rats
Monthly fee {{{fee}}}
Active players {{{players}}}

This is the old version of RuneScape, preserved at the time that I replaced it with my version, so everyone can see how horribly crappy this article was.

RuneScape (or RunEscape) is an online video game based on collecting party hats, or "phats" which are otherwise known as "fats" which, in turn, symbolises all the people who play the game either eat at McDonald's or have an eating disorder. It is known for its "Whoever get the fattest wins" rule. It is also a famous parody of the ever popular game Prunescape.


"I love my Runes and I love my Scapes, but this is just unholy!"

~ Oscar Wilde again on Runescape

Overview

Runescape before good graphics. Wait, this is Runescape after good graphics.

RuneScape is an MMORPGGY comparable to other crappy games such as Guild Wars, World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy XI. There are currently over nine million accounts, with about sixty of those being active. RuneScape acts as a substitute for social interaction for the nerds and nine year olds who play it. These people are known as runees. These people should be constantly teased and called runees. They will also talk about runescape outside of life for hours on end. A warning to anyone who approaches these people. Wear earplugs because their nerdy runescape talk will put you into a trans making you want to play runescape as well. A common term encountered on runescape is "noob" used verociously by all members as a generic term for just about every thing E.G. " LOLZ THT IZ A NOOB TREE". (It is important to note that all players are far too n00bish to spell "n00b" correctly.During peak hours, almost 8 people have been known to log on, making it the most popular online Java the Hutt game. Ever.

Top Players

  • Zezima (level 99 everything)
  • Harry Potter (level 99 magic)
  • Xena Warrior Princess (level 99 in strength, attack, and defence)
  • Robin Hood (level 99 Range, level 99 fletching)
  • Bob the Builder (level 99 construction)
  • Starcraft Terran SCV (level 99 mining)
  • Dalai Llama (level 99 prayer)
  • Jesus (level 99 prayer)
  • Chef Boyardee (level 99 cooking)
  • Emeril Lagasse (level 99 cooking)
  • Paul Bunyan (level 99 woodcutting and firemaking even though he deserves to be level 200)
  • Edward Elric (level 99 smithing and level 99 herblore, he found out how to make the philosopher stone and will soon become level 99 magic)
  • Jack Bauer (level 99 hunting and slayer, he has hunt people, and killed people more than anyone that the world has know, also the fact that he is a non life player, he play 24 hours)
  • The Flash (99 Agility)
  • Farmer Joe's (99 Farming)
  • Bob the Generic n00b (99 l337ness)
  • Chuck Norris (the only person to have ever killed 10 people with one kick, this event happened on a Celebrity Deathmatch fight between 8 Runescape players best, and 2 other players from another fight. Known as "The Kick Heard 'Round the World. Also have level 99 in all stats, and for the record folks, DOES NOT HACK.)
  • Bill Gates (owner of 98% of the game's gp)
  • Pele (best gnomeball player of all time)
  • Your Mom (because as stated above, the fattest wins)
  • The Zodiak Killer (level 99 Slayer, level 99 hunting)

One notable fact about these players is that they are all incredibly nerdy (this excludes Chuck Norris who somehow grew to level 950 strength just by staring the Jagex logo in the eye.)

History

Version 1

FagSex didn't know what kind of game RuneScape was going to be, so they turned to 2-year-olds for help. The first kid they asked said he liked choose-your-own-adventure books, and that was good enough for them! The book, originally called Run Escape, gave players every single choice originally available in RuneScape. But since it was in book form, that meant that every single tile was accounted for. And that meant that the book was frigging HUGE. Seriously, here's an excerpt from the book:

Page 1
You have finally loaded RuneScape after a minute of loading. Which class do you wish to play as?
To play as a miner, go to page 2.
To play as an adventurer, go to page 34289.
To play as a ranger, go to page 623423.
To play as a wizard, go to page 142794.
To play as a warrior, go to page 1659084.

----

Page 2
You are a miner. What do you wish to do?
To go north one tile, go to page 78.
To go south one tile, go to page 90234.
To go east one tile, go to page 425463.
To go west one tile, go to page 6.
To equip your pickaxe, go to page 31,758,431,759,431.
To kill a random person, go to page 2360.

----

Page 3
Elvarg has hit you for 24 damage. You have 1 hit point left. What do you wish to do?
To curse yourself for not bringing any items, go to page 3 while cursing.
To die, go to page 1.
To PM I scream D I to come and save you, go to page 77756
To get lucky and win, go to page 1337.

----

Page 1337
Elvarg was a hax0rer. You lost all your items. What do you wish to do?
To whine in the forums, go to page 10
To see if he stole your Axe of Flaming Death, go to page 3,254,121,726
To see if he stole your Pickaxe, go to page 1226
To stop playing, and get a life, go to page 0

After destroying every tree on the planet just to make paper for the book, it was only 2% completed. Obviously, a new method of game creation was needed. That's why the developers turned to...

Version 2

THE COLLECTIBLE CARD GAME! Run & Escape: TCG was fairly popular for a while, until the first ever tournament was completely ruined when Zezima choked to death on a level 99 card and sued Jagex for over $100 which left them bankrupt. Zezima may be powerful now, but you ain't seen nothing if you weren't there for the previous versions of RuneScape. Rumor has it that he even beat the choose-your-own-adventure book before it was completed.

Version 3

The creators finally decided to make the game into an MMORPG. Unfortunately, they got confused and accidentally walked into Blizzard's office and programmed that game we now know as World of Warcraft, for no pay. Oops.

Version 4

The creators, momentarily pissed at MMORPGGYs, and rightfully so, developed a game called DeviousMud, which resembles modern RuneScape, but doesn't really look anything like it. When LAGeX looked into their crystal balls and saw that DeviousMud looked nothing like the game they were supposed to be making, they halted all development.

Version 5

The next version of RuneScape was called LAGeX Games, and had several single player games that included Flea Circus, Monkey Puzzle, Meltdown, Vertigo, Gold Rush, Fuel Critical and the ever popular GTA:Runescape, Varrock City in which you smack old defenseless grannies,, which resulted in all people playing this game to be raped, arrested, and shot (not in that order). Nobody knows how these games helped the development process of RuneScape, but then again, nobody ever even played these games, not even LAGeX beta testers.

Version 6

LAGeX finally gets it right! They make an MMORPGGY named RuneScape (now known as RuneScape Classic) and it gets instantly popular. People flock to the game, and LAGeX can afford to wipe their arses with declarations of independence. One problem: It's 2001, but the game still uses sprites. The guy responsible for that was sacrificed to the god they themselves created, Zammy.

Version 7

After realizing they had created the perfect RPG, it was unanimously decided by Zammy that the sacrifice was good, so on one cold February evening, under the guise of better graphics Zammy blessed JaGex, and JaGex took a collective dump and named it RuneScape 2 (the beta version of RS2 had been released 3 months prior, after Paul Gower had a bad case of the shits). This is the RuneScape we all know and love! Well, except for the guys who still play RuneScape Classic, so we'll say it's the RuneScape we all know and most of us love. But then there's the people that hate RuneScape, so it's more of the RuneScape we all know and some of us love. But then you add in the starving kids in Ethiopia who don't even know about electricity, and such, and it's more like the RuneScape a few of us know and almost nobody loves. For some strange reason, some of us actually like this game. Then again, we all have to feel bad for those Ethiopian kids.

Version 7.5

Version 7.5 is known as "fucked up Falador." In this version, Falador is white and looks like heaven. And you could say it is, because some people change their respawn point to here once they have a high enough prayer level to not go to hell when they die.

Combat

RuneScape has three types of combat. These three types of combat form a "combat triangle", where each type of combat is advantageous over one of the others, but is weak against the third. The three types are called paper, rock, and scissors.

Scissors: Scissors refers to the use of hand-to-hand weapons.It enables you to fling paperclips at anything with deadly accuracy. It is named after the most powerful weapon in the game, the abyssal scissors, which is so powerful that it can cut through any type of paper known to man, including the sticky part of Post-It notes. Rock always beats scissors, especially if your opponent has Sean Connery who has the rock.

Rock: Rocks are projectiles which can be thrown at enemies. This is powerful because you can throw rocks at enemies on the other side of a table and they're not smart enough to get to the other side. Sadly, these enemies are still smarter than half the RuneScape populace. Rock huffing beats kitten huffing, any day.

Paper: Paper is slang for scrolls, which have magic spells on them. Nobody knows why magic is called paper seeing as how magic isn't read from scrolls on RuneScape, but there you go. Paper users are often considered the strongest, since if they run out of runes, they can use the paper to give their opponent a nasty paper cut. Paper beats rock. Always. No exceptions. Some happen to also mention that the King's Reward scroll which rewards you with a great number of gold coins (600gp) makes quite the rolling paper! Collect several King's brand rolling papers and you could make quite the small fortune!

A sidenote about combat. Remember, PKers could steal your cabbage and bronze medium helm, and you wouldn't want that would you, those items sell for thousands of dollars on Ebay.

Most people think Estonian guys play RunEscape the most. It isn't right. Zezima is not Estonian.

Quests

Main article: Runescape Quests

Quests in Runescape are quite possibly the funnest aspect of this Third Person Sworder. They mainly consist of running around and whacking and collecting things, then giving them to King SexRex the 5th. Although many people only do quests to get quest-only-items such as Holyberds and Andy Roddick's Tennis Racket, they also usually expose piece by piece the grand storyline of the art of Running and Escaping. Quests can be found all over the map and most star either Ronald McDonald or Hairy McLairy.

Members

Being a member is literally the only reason to play RuneScape. If you are a member, you have access to all of RuneScape (free players having access to only 2%). As a member, you can lord it over free players. Wear full dragon, wield the abyssal scissors, or say things like "selling 10k laws!"

Most free players believe that you have to pay to be a member. Not true. The easiest way is to pray to the Gods of RuneScape to make you a member. If they refuse your prayer, you stay a free player for the rest of your days. If they accept it, you have committed blasphemy, and will be smitten by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The second way is to murder someone who is a member, and steal his account. Of course, JaGeX has added bank PINs, so you can't get any of the stuff in their banks. Buzz killers.

Skills

RuneScape has several skills for the players to learn (and by "learn", we mean "macro"), after all, what would be of a game without any skilling. However it takes a thousand years and a loser with no life (N0valyfe) before you can actually level up a skill by a point.

See main article: Runescape Skills.

Economy

The economy of items in RuneScape is very smelly. Prices change more often than you change your socks, and that's even if you change your socks every day. Nevertheless, every RuneScape player has perfect knowledge of the price of every single item in RuneScape. If you do not know the exact price of any given item, you can expect to be laughed at. You also gain n00b EXP.

The main currency in Run Escape is n00bs. N00bs can be traded for Ub3r 1337 \/\/h1ps and other fun toys. N00bs produce things like pots and burnt shrimp, which can be sold to other n00bs to get 1337 1t3/\/\s. Make sure their owner doesn't spot you though, because then they will take stuff off your n00bs.


The hardest fight in the game. Notice the whopping ONE damage required to defeat it!!!

Weapons

Due to the three different combat types on RuneScape, there are a variety of weapons. However, since most players are too retarded to change their combat, most end up using the "scissors" mode of combat. This involves smelting bars of ore, then bashing them with a hammer until it vaguely resembles a sword.

There are more advanced weapons, like vials of aids, but these are only available to members, or people who happen to have 15.8 mil cash on them.

See main article: Runescape Weapons.

Relationships

Another horrifying affect of endless online gaming. Guy nerds with homosexual and acceptance issues and Guy nerds with acceptance issues meet up in runescape and become boyfriend and girlfriend!! Be warned, this often leads to broken hearts and missing valuable items. Also, when proposing to your Runescape Spouse make absolutely sure that you do not give her an enchanted ring of life as this will make your spouse unhappy and commit suicide.

Graphics

RuneScape players re-enacting the Battle of Helm's Deep from Lord of the Rings. Note the hyper-realistic graphical effects.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Keiteihate.jpg
Katie hate this! - It make her spork her eyes out!

RuneScape's graphics are generally agreed to be the most realistic around. Largely superior to engines such as Source, Doom III, Oblivion, and real life; the RuneScape graphical engine is compromised of excellently rendered static pixels, and a top-notch generated terrain using flagrant textures. The distance fog, unlike games such as Battlefield and Half-Life, is simply a black area. Quite obviously, the creators, after spending hours on their supreme rendering capabilities of the physics engine, have decided that in this case simplicity is superiority. Particles and such are rendered with such crispness that they have been known to induce massive brain haemorrhage, or at the very least, they will make your eyes bleed.


Their graphical artists have obviously spent hours prerendering some of the textures used throughout the game. Apart from the blatant copy infringement from most choose-your-own-adventure books, their images can lead to hallucinations along the lines of believing you are in the real world. Or at the least, you will want to purge your last meal.

And that's just RuneScape classic, recently RuneScape 2 was released which showed the world stunningly real time rendered graphics, the like of which had been seen before.

It has been recently revealed in an interview with Andrew Flower-Power-Gower that RuneScape 2 does not use a graphix engine. The game window is an actual window to the runescape universe.

Language Filter

The RuneScape language filter is perhaps the most sound and stable language filter present in any online game. It is capable of censoring out any profanity detected in the game dialogue box by replacing it with asterisks, thereby protecting the innocence of the four year-olds who play the game. "Crud", "Crap", "Damn", "hi" and "g", are among the most commonly encountered expletives found within the game.

This is a sample of a RuneScape dialogue exchange, demonstrating the ruggedness of the language filter.

ed_22 says: "Hi"
uber1 says: "He**o"
ed_22 says: "Coo* axe, can * buy?"
uber1 says: "Sure"
ed_22 says: "How ****?"
uber1 says: "W*a*?"
ed_22 says: "cost?"
uber1 says: "Oh, 1**"
ed_22 says: "how ****?"
uber1 says: "W*** a** *** saying*"
ed_22 says: "*** **** **** it *****"
uber1 says: "* **** ***"
ed_22 says: "************************"

ed_22 has been banned for using profanities

uber1 says: "Son of a bitch!"

Clans

The reason for Runescape's continued existence is clans. Based on the idea that, if you wave your arm idiotically on one side, it will go all the way around the Runescape world to the clan next to you to call for help. This is called the "Clannerfly" effect, and makes dying so much easier.

If you want to actually join a clan that is respectful, you should not be hopeful, sadly the biggest clan's leader's name is something he slapped the keyboard to get. Seriously, ghjjf? C'mon. Ghjjf also has a big forehead "IRL" (In Real Life). His clan members, of Decliners Inc., love to manipulate people by provoking them to flame, then report them to FAGEX moderators. A very good example is Bibblegirl who is a famous commedian (note: not a comedienne - see Girls).

It's thought that the early success to DI was constant planning of future PK trips by Ghjjf by writing every single war tactic upon his forehead whilst looking into the mirror. He was then able to take a picture of himself using his Logitech Quickcam Webcam and then post it on the DI forums for all to see. Nowadays though he uses it to scare his clan members into order by theatening them with headbutts to the testes.

Runescape Clan Ranks and description.

There are many clans in RuneScape. Some of these include:

Gladz

The origins of Gladz, or Gladiatorz, is thought to be when a holy monk of St. Cuthburt's Cathedral encountered RuneScape. Upon finding it he ordered there to be immediate training of the prayer skill and recruited fellow monks and holy men from around the world. In the beginning people had to be brave like Gladiatorz, nowadays, however, all you have to do to get in is defeat a level 4 goblin. Often you will see Gladz recruiters autoing in Varrock - 'Join gladz we hax j00' often this attracts the youngsters from across the globe and so has defaced the original monks of St. Cuthbert. They are "undefeated" in official wars but they never win any other mini wars or "peekay run ins" (this is because they run out as soon as the other clan runs in). Gladz are said to have found the secret of boosting their prayer in F2P because of their abusive use of protect prayer which they use against level 5 Goblins.

No. 1 clan o rly

Phobia

This clan was the number 1 junior clan in the whole of RunEscape due to their ability to run and... err... escape. Some people don't think this is right because they didn't actually beat 'The' Failures in a war but won by default as 'The' Failures couldn't find a way to make energy potions work on F2P. Phobia was the first clan EVER to pull max options to a war! After Phobia had closed down 'The' Failures begged Phobia for run-escapers. But every Phobian then joined Sexual Abusers clan.

Misfitted Knights

Also known as Clan Yamataka, which is what the clan is and will only ever be. The whole clan is an illusion and is lead by a master magician known as Osamataka or also known as Bunny Killer. This clan is so devoted to its existence that members constantly claim it is dying and then magically bounce back to surprise the clan scene. In truth, there was never any dying. The Misfit Revolution was actually Osamataka paying off Nara Ildarek and her minions to act like baddies of the clan and then she would ban them and claim glory for herself. Beer and sex are the only conversational topics in this clan, and are the only topics keeping this clan alive. How this can make them a PKing clan is yet another mystery. This clan belongs in a parallel universe, also known as Prunescape.

Girls

A RuneScape girl being girly.


Girls are another rare item on RuneScape, perhaps just as rare as a Partyhat. They are similar to a Partyhat in many ways, one of them being the activity in the head region, the other is if you find a real one, you can sell them for 200mil each. 10% of the RuneScape population is made up of females, and 90% of that 10% are guys posing as girls. These are called She-males, an example of this would be 'Javan86', one who snuck into a clan by disguising himself as a girl, and used his feminine personality to seduce and manipulate the clan members, resulting in his gaining of many phats and free items. Thus, RuneScape dating is like a casino with a 1% chance of an outcome that you are dating a girl.


Girls on RuneScape often have an extreme obsession with their characters looking pretty, since as you see above they are in actuality, either not a 'girl', or a guy. Sometimes being a guy might be better, than being an old lady, as above. But really, mostly all of the girls on the game are guys posing as girls, it's obvious to see that deep in their twisted minds they want to look pretty and girly and get free stuff from other players. If you come in contact with a girl, run for your life, they can be as deadly as a Goblin and have explosive moodswings. While some players (mostly noobs) may enjoy such games like castlewars, all the female players will want to do is save up to buy a nice outfit; there are many girls on RuneScape that choose armour and capes for style more than stats. They also enjoy raising their kitties until they have about 5 or so in the bank, by which point they will need tons of buckets of sand for their cats to keep their banks from smelling like a litter box. If you need any help on getting a gf, go to the middle of varrock and say "I need a gf, i am very very rich and have a car" - though usually the "i am very rich" section should do.

Pets

Pets are a completely useless item on RuneScape, used to entertain noobs. First there are cats; cats are like noobs, they beg you for your fish. If begging isn't bad enough, they leave droppings inside your bank while you're away fighting or whatever. Next comes the pet rock; which is the most life like pet a player can have! You can stroke your rock and talk to him (or her). Unfortunately, if you get an anorexic rock, it will refuse to eat and it will get very skinny. Try to encourage your rock by cooing at it and telling it how good it looks.


Now, some noobs were complaining that there weren't enough pets, so Jagex added a fishie. The fishie is rather quite amusing. You can play catch with all your friends using the fishbowl, just make sure not to drop it or you'll have a big mess. You can also order the fish around and make him your personal slave; for example, if you tell the fish to swim, it will swim (quite brilliant, actually).



Mini-Games

In Runescape there are many different mini games to play if you are already training the no-lifing skill. These mini-games include:

Mini-Runescape: A minier version of Runescape where $5 a week will allow you to play on a private server with 2 chickens, 3 coin respawns, and incredible 5⅔-bit graphics!

Castle Wars: A cheap imitation of Capture the Flag only you play virtually with 3-bit technology. You go on 1 team, either Saradomin or Zamorak, and capture the enemy flag. However, there is also the secret Guthix team where you capture the Non-Guthix Flag. Unfortunately Guthix doesn't like anyone below level 127 and as such will send anyone under lvl 127 to play as Team Saradomin or Team Zamorak.

Special Olypmics: Where the elite handicapped square off to display their "1337 Skillz" in the Lost City (often referred to wrongly as "Zanaris", as it is actually named "Special Olympia"). It is very hard to determine a winner in this secret mini-game because the only disability that qualifies someone to play it is the inability to use computers. I once heard someone say (and by "say", I mean type; and by "heard", I mean read) they won at this once. I reported that n00b(for password scamming of course).

Pwned: Pronounced "p - owned" A new version of Owning for players who find themselves too 1337 to say owned. Yes, they are on P.

Random Events

See main Runescape random events

When Playing RuneScape you may receive a random event which can be rewarding or disastrous! One Random Event is:

Obesity: There is a 50% chance that you will become obese. After that there is a 30% chance that you will die of too much body fat.

Bushtuka trials: Ant and Dec make you eat King worms and gnome eyes. It is advisable you eat as much as you can to gain meals for your clan, thus making them happy.

AIDS: It has been proven that 12% of people who buy dragon legs/skirt from other players get AIDS from the infected blood of the dragon seeping into their skin. These are non-tradeble and are best being high alched.

Crabs: These nasty random events come from the Fremmenik Province, here they get bored of being slayed and wander off into someone's pants. Crabs can also be acquired from the Fally barmaid - for a small fee of course.

River troll: Appears when you've fished too much. Follows you all over Runescape and the forums, flaming you constantly at a level that is adjusted for your combat level. When killed, it drops useless bait, that nobody has used for five years.

Life: This only appears when you have quit runescape, got a girlfriend, and slept with her in bed, not Runescape. This event will permanently misplace you from runescape, into a dark, scary world, only to realize that you can't come back to Runescape.

Death: The exact oppsite of the random event referred to above, life. In this event, you lose your girlfriend (or she turns into a male), and, if any, you will forget what food, water, and other provisions you have, and, at the end of the event, you have a Final Fantasy, then you die.

Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris appears and if you don't talk to him within one nano second, he roundhouse kicks you and you lose everything in your bank. If you do manage to talk to him, he roundhouse kicks you in the face and you die, not only losing everything in your bank, but also losing all your levels and you are left requiring extensive plastic surgery. There is one other option. You can read poetry to Chuck. The last person to do so testified that after asking Chuck how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, Chuck screamed "No one rhymes in the presence of Chuck Norris" and attempted to roundhouse kick the player in the face. The extreme rage which filled his heart burst forth with the power of a thousand Suns. His foot broke the speed of light traveled back in time and kicked the initial servers running Runescape. This is said to be the cause of Runescape's lack of graphical superiority. The best thing to do when this random event is encountered is to hope to get a life (see above).

Fuck Norris: Fuck Norris is Chuck's unfortunate brother who, as a child, was deformed by his brother's constant roundhouse kicks to the face, when this event comes it's best to dawn your eye patch so your character will not be scarred for life at the site of the atrocity that is Fuck Norris - all who've not donned their protective eye patches before Fuck takes off his paper bag tend to lose their eyesight not only in the game, but also in real life due to a mutation of polio that works with your eyes... or something.

God: Appears around the same time as the Chuck Norris event, but the only person that ever got this died after unravelling the very fabric of the time space continuum.

Noob:Comes and begs for money forever. Only a few have gotten this event, and there is no way to get it off. It is stuck with you forever. If you teleport, he finds you. If you log off, he stays. You can't ignore him, and your best shot is to either (a) make a new account or (b) get a life

The gf: A noob disguised as a woman that is most likely a man or a Succubus. She (or he) will suck you dry of all the cash and items you have and will eventually rip your heart out and drink your blood.

Hackers: The opposite of noobs, they make the game better and usually trigger the life random event.

Banning

They love to ban their beloved players at the drop of a hat. The slightest hint of macro use (which was really just a noob who hated you that reported you) and OMGOMGPERMBAN!!!11. Their treatment of customers is tremendous, giving a great chance of account recovery through the Banan-aPeel system. You must craft a lie in 400 characters or less, or face the ultimate doom of the Real World. Within 6-8 weeks they may reply with a "Shut the fuck up", or not reply at all.

A typical Fagex response is as followed: We are 1400% confident in our macro detection systems, and in the poorly trained staff who monitor and take action based on the results produced by a monkey, and as such are 1300% confident that you have been using such a program. This is a fuzzy dilution of the Rules of Conduct and as such, your account has been placed on a permanent banana.

This decision is *final* and any further banana peels will only be considered if significant amounts of pot are offered.

Sincerely, RapeScape Customer Support

Permanent Muting

When Fagsex released Runescape, they always made fun of people that were disabled and could not talk. Of course 3 seconds later they would get there ass kicked by a grandma with a stick. So they decided on a way that they could make fun of people without getting hurt: they released the perm muting.

Now, when you log in on runescape and you are permanently muted, you get a message of them telling you that you are disabled and laughing at you. They still permantly mutes today.

Also, these days in common British society, it is common to say Runescape: 'RUNESCHAPE!!!!!!!!' like some ultimate nerd. The reason is not certain, but it's probably the cabbages.


a runescape n00b saying "my penis is very old and very wrinkly, will you rub it for me?" a runescape n00b saying "my penis is very old and very wrinkly, will you rub it for me?"

See Also