User:Alterationx10/Reductio Ad Absurdum
Reductio ad absurdum is an entity that, throughout human history, taking posession of mathematicians and philosphers alike. Its main purpose is the reduction of rational arguments to absurdity. It is believed that God has something to with it, or at least it is rumored that He is not willing to do anything about it.
Socrates[edit | edit source]
When Socrates invented logic as a way of avoiding taxes, he overlooked the possibility that his newly conceived device had the ability to self-destruct. His student Plato pointed this out to him a couple of years later, infuriating Socrates. Unfortunately, Plato was right, and soon the Greek state found out. Officials kicked Socrates out of his house, taking posession of all his belongings. They did not, however, make a scandal out of the 23 youngsters that were present when they kicked out Socrates. They kept those for themselves too. With logic being reduced to a pile of debris, and Socrates to a drunk recluse, his ideas went into obscurity for 3000 centuries. Plato did intend to write about them to honour Socrates, but this turned out to be impossible.
Newton[edit | edit source]
Reductio ad absurdum made its next appearance in the history of humanity through a fight Isaac Newton had with God. God was getting increasingly nervous by the rapid rate with which Newton was discovering his laws. He made it clear to Newton that he could intervene in the universe at any time to alter the results of measurements (see Flying Spaghetti Monster). Thus, Newton served as a medium to reimplement Reductio ad Absurdum into the apparatus of science and mathematics. It seems Newton´s theological writings sprung from this incident.
The 20th century[edit | edit source]
Georg Cantor, creator of set theory, infinity and all other kinds of incomprehensible stuff that prevented him from getting a decent job, was the next victim of Reductio ad Absurdum. He used at such an extensive rate as to end up in a soul asylum. David Hilbert is also believed to have been under its influence a couple of times, but decided to start his own business before any serious harm had gotten upon him. Kronecker would later utter "This is not mathematics, this is theology!", about Hilbert´s confidence in in his abilities to be his own boss .
Theorems attributed to Reductio ad Absurdum[edit | edit source]
- Proof of the existence of the Bermuda Triangle.
- Goedel´s Incompleteness Theorem (disputed).
- The Pythagorean theorem (originally proved by Socrates, Pythagoras, cheap bastard, took advantage of the precarious situation of the letter to get away with the credit).
- The Poincare conjecture. The alleged mathematician who proved it is said to have refused the million dollar price that was granted for it. Typical sign of Reductio ad Absurdum.