Unfomercials:Coon Traps

Raccoon Traps 'Я' Us

The world is overrun with vermin. No, not noobs - 'coons. These critters chew articles, crap all over the place, steal food and - before long - will probably start taking our homes and jobs too.

Did You Know...

1. 'Coons can have up to 300 young in each litter? That's why they get priority over you when applying for social housing.
2. Coming from poor countries, 'coons see no need to work. £60 a week unemployment benefit is a huge sum to them - that's why they live on benefits which you, as a hard-working taxpayer, have to pay for.
3. 'Coons have enormous penises and are trying to steal your wife and daughters.
4. 'Coons have been shown to be naturally more violent than us and will think nothing of stabbing you just to steal a few pounds.

That's why YOU need one of UncyCorp.'s all new and improved

ACME 'COON TRAPS

Guaranteed to trap and kill all 'coons in your neighbourhood.
ACME 'COON TRAPS, JUST £99.99 (+ p&p)