Uncyclopedia:Wilde/B

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He's a Wilde Thang!
Welcome to the Wilde Side of Uncyclopedia
Check out the Wilde Image Series!
Here you will find a repository of quotes from the Late, Great Oscar Wilde!
Choose your poison:   9    # ∩ ~

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z



Bagpipes

“I'd rather bite off my own cock than hear you blow those blasted things again.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bagpipes

Baking soda

“Honestly, officer, this suspicious white powdery substance in my pocket is not what you think it is!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Baking soda

BananaPhone

“The banana phone has changed my life. It can change yours for only $24.99! Call now!”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Banana Phone

Barrel Clowns

“When in a fix, a barrel clown makes a handy spouse.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Barrel Clowns

Battle of the sexes

“The battle of the sexes will never be won; there has been too much sleeping with the enemy”

~ Oscar Wilde on the Battle of the sexes

Bengplask

“I wonder if it still works with kumquat juice.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bengplask

Berlin

“Ich bin ein Berliner”

Bill Bailey

“There's no man with more Beard.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bill Bailey

Bill O'Reilly

“No, you shut up!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bill O'Reilly

Bleef

“I once used Bleef to saturate my tube socks, and it caused me to have epilepsy.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bleef

Blow Job

“The funny thing about a blow job is its neither”

BMWs

“What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines have their pricks on the outside.”

~ Oscar Wilde on BMW

Board Theorem

“The Board Theorem has redefined political thought, especially for tea-drinking nancies. And Ayn Rand was a nasty hag. Or was she?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Board Theorem

Booze

“Me just drinck 27 shot of whisky vadko sobstens. Gawk munta hawthnornt. Wheeeeeeeee!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Booze

Bowling

“Bowling is truly the king of sports, as well as the sport of male monarchial despots”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bowling

Bruce Campbell

“There's a little Bruce Campbell in all of us, or at least we wish there were.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bruce Campbell

Brunch

“Brunch is the meal you eat when you're too drunk to get up for breakfast.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Brunch

ButteredToast

“There's nothing I like more than a breakfast that can blow you away.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Buttered Toast

Byron, Lord

“Lord Byron... what a f*cking pussy.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Lord Byron