Uncyclopedia:VFH/A letter about Megan Fox

Article: A letter about Megan Fox	Score: 7
Nominated by:	Anton (talk) 18:49, 7 September 2014 (UTC)
For: 9	Ah! Teenagers. Anton (talk) 18:49, 7 September 2014 (UTC) For. ŤäŁķ ¿Ș₮áłĶ?฿¡฿↓¡ography 19:29 9.07.14 For. Legendary letter that's been through the works on the spoon. EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(get dtf) 16:06, 8 September 2014 (UTC) For. IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 18:21, 8 September 2014 (UTC) For. Leverage (talk) 19:54, 8 September 2014 (UTC) For. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 23:54, 10 September 2014 (UTC) For. -- MagicBus Talk to me! 11:17, 16 September 2014 (UTC) For. The Defender of Light >Grand Warlock Danzathel Aetherwing Inventory 23:01, 11 October 2014 (UTC) For -- The Zombiebaron 20:03, 19 October 2014 (UTC)
Against: 2	Against. I didn't really laugh. Nikau (talk) 11:10, 16 September 2014 (UTC) against as per nikau. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 00:03, 21 September 2014 (UTC)
Comments	Comment. any chance of making the text bold anton? I find it hard to read! Leverage (talk) 17:48, 8 September 2014 (UTC) I had some problems formatting this one. Made it bold, but tell me if it's better. Anton (talk) 18:50, 8 September 2014 (UTC) Comment. it felt quite subpar. FAKEHATER spam me 00:48, 17 September 2014 (UTC) I have changed it. Could you, please, take another look? Anton (talk) 06:40, 26 September 2014 (UTC) Comment. I'd remove the stupid typography/font. I don't know when that fad started but it makes pages look unattractive and turns readers off before even starting to read. TBH I'd vote against just to keep awful formatting off the main page because that font is a pain to read in itself. Now, back to the content. It's kind of building up to a joke that never comes. The child sounds like he has his head up his own ass, but no joke is ever made about it. There's some nice prose beforehand, but I'm never actually given a continual stream of moments that make me smile and also tie the story together (like UnBooks:Daddy, There's a Zombie in the Garden or Why?:Am I a Power Ranger?). I'd say this is a poster child for the need of a pee review, because it needs, first, a punchline and, second, a regular series of jokes to keep one engrossed. I'm sorry, but without either it's the kind of article I abandon about half way through. If you really want your prose tested you could send it to this subreddit while Pee Review is still dead. Nikau (talk) 07:04, 26 September 2014 (UTC) I don't get why the font is stupid and how it could send the reader away. But the point is that I really don't want this to read like a normal article, but an actual letter. Maybe you could suggest the right font in that case? Having read and re-read your comments, then having read and re-read my article, after that having proofread and rephrased it, I am sorry, but I still don't really get what's wrong with it. It's supposed to be an illustration of a teenager's state of mind and the main jokes are all the contradictions in his speech. He resents something very strong, but doesn't really see how ridiculuous everything he says sounds. The humour is based upon the fact that about every single phrase of the letter is countered by the author himself somewhere else in the text. You were talking about a big reversal in UnBooks:My New Life as a T-Rex, when the narrator who became a dinosaur is offended by the fact that people can change their gender. I am not afraid to say that my reversal is an even larger one: a teenager, who has decided to leave his house forever to search for eternal love, has to come back the following week just to beg for pocket money from his parents, which he didn't think about in the first place, being so preoccupied with his feelings. And this is just one example. Anyway, I feel like I am trying to explain something you have already got, so this will probably have no effect on your opinion. Let it be so. I am sorry you didn't like the page, but I don't think it could survive with any different concept and, besides, I am not sure I am able to implement it. Anton (talk) 09:31, 26 September 2014 (UTC) Just take my word that putting a font like that on the main page will look absolutely awful from a design perspective. It's unreadable and (like most fonts) doesn't look like writing anyway. I see what you're saying about the content, but it's so subtle that there's no really satisfying comedy moments. It reads to me like realism than a comedic piece. A teenager coming home isn't a great revelation like the punchline of UnBooks:My New Life as a T-Rex being a complete reversal of the whole concept of the article. A teenager running away and coming home isn't so ironic or sarcastic. It's not very satiric, it doesn't exaggerate or use absurdism (ala Cajek), it doesn't have that incredible voice that chucks out sarcasm and satisfying comedy reveals every line (ala Hyperbole). I kind of have to agree with Fakehater, it's nice prose but it's somewhat sub-par as a comedy work right now. The contradictions could be blatantly obvious and close to each other, or you might build up to a new very ironic and original ending. As it is, it isn't a feature in my eyes. --Nikau (talk) 11:43, 26 September 2014 (UTC) Fine. I did everything I could and wanted with it, but if it isn't feature-quality, then I won't argue. Anton (talk) 13:55, 26 September 2014 (UTC) Change formatting: Mission successful Anton (talk) 19:50, 26 September 2014 (UTC)