Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Thin Mints
Thin Mints[edit source]
Yes, the award-winning(ish) Thin Mints has humbly decided to grace this lowly Pee Review. Comment on it if you must.please?--
Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 03:08, 10 April 2009 (UTC)Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 22:27, 6 April 2009 (UTC)
I stake claim to this article.
(That means I'll review it eventually.)
—Guildensternenstein
Sorry, it's gonna take me a bit to get around to reviewing this, but I will review it evenutually. Like, a day or two. —Sir Guildensternenstein 12:45, 13 April 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 7 | Fairly funny. I like the whole idea of having a framing device (that being the gentleman giving his young ward a "tour" of the world of the thin mint), and most of the humor comes from the juxtaposition of the learned tone vs. the ridiculous subject matter. Pretty clever, actually. Something I think you should do, though, is italicize "thin mint" wherever it appears in the article, as though it were a foreign lone-word or lofty jargon term, or something. It's not merely a Thin Mint, but a Thin Mint. See the difference? |
| Concept: | 7 | Again, this is fairly clever, and I like the idea.
"Let me take you on the wonderous journey of Thin Mint. There are two types of Thin Mints. And, um...." To totally belabor the point, clever. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Your writing and use of voice is quite good, but you miss there are a number of small things you should fix. First of all, bold the first apperance of Thin Mints, because that's what you do, and you didn't do it. Also, add more links. Links are important. Links make an article look nice, believe it or not. I also don't really like the fact that one of the few links you have is a link of "Thin Mints" that links to--what else?--"Thin Mints." That's just redundant.
Also, the first section, "What is this...," ends with a "but" just hanging there. What's up with that? If it's a mistake, fix it. If it's intentional, its purpose is beyond me, so fix it anyway. |
| Images: | 6 | Pretty standard. I like the first image, and the other two are obligitory pictures of the two competing brands of Thin Mints. Fairly standard, like I said. I think something like the addition of a picture depicting the third, mysterious brand of Thin Mint would be pretty humorous. And, like, it could either be this big, crazy dramatic thing, or like a generic off-brand store-bought thing. Either direction you go, the result's pretty funny.
Also, your captions are all fine. |
| Miscellaneous: | 7 | A round-out. Not a GREAT article, but very solid and very amusing. Just brush it up a bit, and (who knows?) it might fair alright in VFH. And you probably won't have to whore my vote from me! :-P |
| Final Score: | 33 | That sticking-tongue-out smilie face is probably the gayest thing I've done all day. Also, Thin Mint. |
| Reviewer: | —Sir Guildensternenstein 02:33, 14 April 2009 (UTC) | |