Uncyclopedia:Best of/2013 (by date)

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On this page are articles that were featured on the front page during the golden years of Uncyclopedia (meaning any year other than this year) [golden meaning its not like this year] {meaning the articles aren't as good as this year}. Do read them to see how much better the 2011 articles are.

You may also wish to see the voting page for said better articles of this year.


Random featured article:
Captain Britain (try another)


January 2013[edit]

Date Name Feature credit
1 January Monopoly (game) Sog1970
2 January Claudette Colvin Aleister
5 January HowTo:Beet off Aleister
7 January Hannibal Lecter El Zoof, Tezmeister
8 January Grand Rapids, Michigan SPIKE
9 January HowTo:Insulate your loft Romartus
10 January UnScripts:The United States Government Just Doesn't Give a Fuck TKF
11 January UnNews:Uncyclopedia moves to UPN Kip the Dip
13 January Symphony in Z Minor Black flamingo11
15 January History of Great Britain Romartus, Zarbag
17 January I want a cookie Sir Peasewhizz
21 January UnNews:What happened to Italian cocks? Leverage
23 January UnNews:NONSENSE WATERMELON CATASTROPHE Zombiebaron
24 January Gerard Way Sir Peasewhizz
25 January Hack writer Dexter111344
26 January David Brubeck TKF
27 January A Helpful Compilation of the One Hundred (or so) Worst Things to Stick Your Dick into, and an Account of the Scientific Explorations Thereof — An Abridged Folio Edition, with Copious Illustrations and Annotations, for Your Edification and Enlightenment Bizzeebeever
28 January Perfect Square Sir Peasewhizz
29 January Silent radio Various authors
30 January The things your family doesn't know Shabidoo
31 January Mutaween Funnybony

February 2013[edit]

Date Name Feature credit
1 February There's Something Strange About My Neighbor... Oliphaunte
2 February Wild Jews RabbiTechno
3 February UnNews:Man sues God; is smited TheLedBalloon
4 February UnNews:Delicious New Zealand bird set for extinction by 2023 Fishalishalish
5 February UnBooks:The Brothers Karamazov Romartus
6 February UnNews:Unwikileaks in the news Funnybony
7 February UnNews:Hand transplant man masturbates for first time Leverage
8 February 1875 Dunedin beach baseball riots Timzog
10 February Amnesia: The Dark Descent Sir Peasewhizz
11 February UnNews:Bush blames Barney for Iraq war decision Leverage
12 February UnNews:"Gay" doesn't mean what Internet thinks it means Ljlego
13 February Mammogram Dawg
15 February Platinum Frosty
17 February Saw Kakun, Mhaille
19 February UnBooks Biography:The guy who invented soap Aleister
21 February UnScripts:Tony Hancock: The Sperm Donor Leverage
23 February The New Jersey Hoax The UnIdiot
25 February Charlie Brown TheLedBalloon, Sycamore
27 February The Wikipedia BBS Kevillips

March 2013[edit]

Date Name Feature credit
11 March James Cook Frosty
12 March BladeRunnerway Bride Leverage
13 March Whale bones RAHB
14 March Fred Basset Equilateralperil
15 March UnNews:Scientists "discover" new fossils Weebils
16 March The Maori Show Hotadmin4u69, Mhaille
18 March Nillion Funnybony
19 March I'd like to talk to you about Jesus Sonic80
22 March UnNews:Local boy helps team win championship game The Woodburninator
24 March Still life DWIII
28 March UnNews:Editorial: I don't mean to be rude, but please don't do that to my daughter The Woodburninator
29 March UnDebate:Is gun control necessary? ProfessorScience
30 March iEye Shabidoo, Superbo
31 March UnScripts:It's Spring Break! Scofield

April 2013[edit]

Date Name Feature credit
2 April Get-rich-quick scheme Scott
4 April UnNews:Nintendo Puu to be released Leverage
6 April Red Bull TheLedBalloon
7 April UnNews:Bellicose Uzi kills Lebanese gangster’s ex-wife Funnybony
8 April Glass Mike Tyson Funnybony
9 April To the Lighthouse Zheliel
10 April The Lorax Syndrome
11 April UnNews:Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer dead at 53 Acmed2
12 April Snakes on a Plane Various authors
13 April Reasonable doubt Sir Peasewhizz
14 April Drawing Zwaf
15 April UnNews:A-bombs dropped on Japan awarded Nobel Peace Prize Funnybony
16 April HowTo:Pimp a ho Funnybony
17 April UnNews:Elephant beaten to death with grandmother IFYMB!
18 April Dr. N. Toleránt's Informative Letter: An Informative Letter Hotadmin4u69
19 April UnNews:Man's nipples fall right off Leverage
20 April Three Watchmen and a Baby PF4Eva
21 April Public domain Hyperbole
22 April Change.org Snippy
23 April The best comedic methods; analysis Multiliteralist
24 April UnBooks:The Day I Met My Enemy Zombiebaron
25 April HowTo:Teach a six-legged lame man how to jump rope Aleister
26 April UnNews:Margaret Thatcher tragically dies 30 years too late Leverage
27 April 9 out of 10 Acmed2
28 April UnBooks:The Second Conquest of the Moon Aleister
29 April Don't judge a book by its cover Sir Peasewhizz

May 2013[edit]

Date Name Feature credit
5 May Matt Smith giving Mr-ex777 buttsex Frosty
8 May UnNews:Poor people Occupy St. Peter's Square Aleister
10 May The Life and Times of a Cute Little Puppy Cajek
16 May Bi-curious George Mhaille
19 May UnNews:Abducted Ohio girls check MySpace Leverage
21 May Toilets in Japan RedHot
23 May UnBooks:Those uncomfortable moments when no one knows what to do Shabidoo
29 May UnBooks:The Pet Goat IronLung
31 May UnNews:Bale kills Bale in Bale with bale; gets bail IFYMB!

June 2013[edit]

Date Name Feature credit
1 June Phone sex Leverage, Sir Peasewhizz
2 June Phil Ochs Aleister
6 June Mexico Various authors
7 June WikiLeaks Airhogs777
11 June UnNews:Ugly Child Abducted, Quickly Returned Mrmonkey72
13 June UnNews:Police attempt to wash homeless man Skidwood
14 June UnNews:Marijuana Legalized in Florida for Even-Numbered addresses Aleister
15 June Scissor Braydie
16 June UnReviews:The Crimean War IFYMB!
17 June Nelson Mandela Leverage
18 June Jesus Lites™ Puppy
19 June Why?:Did I Decide to Audition for Big Brother? Orian57
20 June UnBooks:Uncyclopedia Owner's Manual Zombiebaron
25 June Mr-ex777 raped by Magic Ponies Cat the Colourful and Shabidoo
27 June Confederate States Air Force Hotadmin4u69
28 June UnGuides:Being an American Television Producer Sycamore
29 June UnNews:New 9/11 video inspires advertisers TheHumbucker

July 2013[edit]

Date Name Feature credit
1 July UnNews:Islamic controversies ruining 9/11 celebrations across the country The Thinker
2 July 1993 Gerrycheevers
3 July UnScripts:The Treaty of Minaj-Black IFYMB!
4 July 9-11 according to a 5 year old Lollipop
5 July The Picture of Dorian Gray Various authors
6 July The X-HEIRS DrStrange
7 July RMS Titanic Various authors
8 July Probability theory Anton199
9 July 1989 TKF
10 July HowTo:Wash the Dishes Strainj1
11 July George H. W. Bush Leverage
12 July UnNews:First Pet Rock passes away Aleister
15 July UnNews:Syrup thieves caught IFYMB!
16 July Gym Hotadmin4u69
18 July Mongolia The Woodburninator
19 July The Andy Griffith Show Modusoperandi
20 July UnNews:Earth gains on Mars for sandiest planet Aleister
21 July Why?:Have an alienating music taste Sycamore
22 July UnNews:Kennedy Assassination Solved Aleister
23 July UnNews:Harry gets Hogwarts letter IFYMB!
24 July UnNews:Abraham Lincoln walking amongst us; won't go home Reubnick
25 July Apple Shabidoo
26 July UnBooks:Did you ever lock horns with a goat? Aleister
28 July Katy Perry Hit Generator Leverage
29 July Massholes SPIKE
30 July UnNews:Joe Biden stepped in dog shit Kip the Dip
31 July UnNews:My damn TV won't work PF4Eva

August 2013[edit]

Date Name
1 August UnNews:Gandhi statue coming to life in London
2 August HowTo:Be Russian
3 August Make Humus Not War
4 August UnNews:Army launches new recruiting ad campaign
10 August Constantine II
16 August UnScripts:Your Guide to Notable Literature: Abridged
23 August Simone Bittencourt de Oliveira
29 August UnReviews:Big Budgeted Action Movie with Tons O' Explosions
30 August Umbrella

September 2013[edit]

Date Name
1 September Oz (American TV series)
2 September Krypton
3 September UnNews:Indeed, Quvenzhané Wallis is a cunt
4 September Constitution of the United States (actual text)
5 September John Hancock Center
6 September UnNews:Man makes headlines
7 September UnNews: Was 9/11 an outside job?
8 September UnBooks:My Summer Vacation in Saudi Arabia
9 September Alexander Hamilton
10 September Why?:Revert the administrators
11 September UnNews:911 conspiracies explained by a sandwich
15 September UnNews:Coca-Cola recycles its beverage "base"
16 September Holy Roman Empire
17 September You don't want to know
19 September Why?:Sell Cocaine to Monkeys
20 September Cafeteria food
21 September Vader v. Vader
25 September UnNews:Hark! The Herald Angus Sings
26 September Gramp's Insane Ramblings: Life Lessons
29 September UnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore

October 2013[edit]

Date Name
5 October UnNews:Interview with Nicolas Maduro
10 October HowTo:Be a hipster
12 October UnBooks:Guns don't kill people ... people kill themselves
13 October Why?:Am I Frozen in Carbonite?
14 October What To Do When Gypsies Steal Your Carrots
15 October HowTo:Make it drink
16 October Ambiguity
17 October Twm
18 October Blacking Up
19 October UnNews:NFL: Washington set to change nickname
20 October James Bevel's face in a cloud
21 October UnNews:Michigan man accumulates 29 degrees--and still can't land a job!
22 October Neptune
24 October Melba toast
30 October Please unblock me
31 October UnBooks:Funeral of the Easter Bunny

November 2013[edit]

Date Name
1 November UnNews:Christian Radio's "Carmageddon" prediction fails to materialize
5 November Departments of France
9 November Animals with feet war with animals with no feet
15 November Why?:My homework was late
18 November UnNews:Canadian women must now wear horns
24 November God's deleted contributions
30 November Page title

December 2013[edit]

Date Name Feature credit
5 December HowTo:Know if you're right brained or left brained Leverage
11 December Does the Pope shit in the woods? Aleister
16 December Homework Various authors
22 December UnNews:Actor Paul Walker, age 40, victim of fiery typecasting accident Bizzeebeever
28 December Number Shabidoo