Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 31

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July 31: Feast of St. Leslie Nielsen (Uncyclopedia)

  • 781 – The oldest redorced eruption of noted volcano Mt. Fuji occurs, raining the Japanese countryside with scorched lenses and bits of charred film.
  • 1498Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the Western Hemisphere, still refuses to ask for directions to India.
  • 1588 – The Spanish Armada is spotted off of England; very few were expecting said Inquisition.
  • 1919Germany's Weimar Constitution and Other Fables is penned.
  • 1921 – The International Astronomical and Astrological Society dubs Gemini (pictured) to be the most revered of all constellations.
  • 1947Jingo Grand Championship: India headbutts the UK negating its win of 1858. Mahatma Gandhi is named player of the year and becomes the first to claim "I'm going to Disney World".
  • 1951 – V.S. Pritchett publishes Mr. Beluncle, which quickly became a minor classic among English readers, yet was not well supported by American critics who responded with silly faces and much brow-furrowing.
  • 1992 – Harry Potter is born.
  • 3491 – Third Robot invasion of U.S. capital Grand Forks, North Dakota is repelled by soldiers under the leadership of president George Bush XXVI.