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- 1000 BCE - A little Chinese Prince was holidaying in Tibet. Whilst he was innocently trying to feed a local Llama some grain it viciously bit him. And so began countless millenniums of conflict.
- 1231 - The Dalai Llama seduces Chinese king, but after they'd been going steady for a couple of months the Llama cheats on him with Kubla Khan. Chinese king calls the Llama a slut and finds a less attractive rebound girlfriend and cries himself to sleep for a month.
- 1567- The Dalai Llama tells all the other Central Asian leaders that the Chinese King is gay.
- 1911 - Llama tells Sun Yat-sen and Yuan Shikai that the Chinese Emperor said that their mothers were terrible cooks.
- 1931 - Llama mentions to Emperor Hirohito that China is pretty shit and that he might as well go in and take over. Then he whispered quietly in the Emperor's ear that if any Japanese are looking for easy women Nanking is the place.