- 1609 - Council of Antes declares that peas will henceforth be eaten with a fork.
- 1882 - First obscene phone call made, crude equipment mandates heavy breathing when careless whispers can not be heard.
- 1962 - Lee Harvey Oswald (Pictured) fucks up first attempt to kill JFK so badly the attempt goes unnoticed until 1986, when a remodeling crew fixes the bullet hole.
- 1970 - The Partridge Family thinks it loves you, but what is it so afraid of?
- 1981 - A second failed assassination attempt on Ronald Reagan takes place, the shooter's motive being Reagan's films which the shooter declared, "sucked".
- 2002 - WWE star Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson invents the ability to refer to himself in the fifth person.
- 2022 - Darth Vader gets his voice box fixed after decades of agony.