UnTunes:God Screw You Royally, Gentlemen

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God Screw You Royally, Gentlemen, God Screw Ye Royally, Gentlemen, or God Screw You Royal Gentlemen (the latter as sung by the Sex Pistols) is an English Christmas Carol that dates back to the mid-18th century and describes the frustration felt by a husband towards the gentlemen who took advantage of his wife's openness. The song has many different versions and variants because of its long and muddled history.

Lyrics

Cover of the single released by The Destitute Brothers in 1930.

Below are two different examples of the lyrics, the first indicative of how it was performed from its synthesis in the 1760s, the second implying a slight change in attitudes and behaviour towards the social issues that the carol tackles.

  • Circa 1760 (from Songs For The Estrang'd Father):
God screw you roy'lly, Gentlemen
Back off my fiancée;
You've gone and got her pregnant
And for that you'll all pay.
To have the blighter: that she wants
Now you've all gone away.
Which brings shitloads of paperwork and bills.
  • Circa 1800 (from Three New Songs to Tell the Child He's Adopted, printed by J. Smart):
God screw you roy'lly gentlemen
Back off my fiancée.
Once we know who the father is
All twelve of you will pay:
To sue you I must get a lawyer:
Law will be my mainstay.
This brings shitloads of paperwork and bills.
  • In the UK, the de facto baseline reference version is that adopted by Carols for Choirs, (OUP, 1961):
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1. God screw you royally, gentlemen,
Back off my fiancée.
Why did you get her pregnant?
I'll make all of you pay.
She wants the child and so I must be
Suing night and day.
O shitloads of paperwork and bills,
papers and bills,
O shitloads of paperwork and bills.
2. I've tried to make it work with her
She didn't; not so she came.
Though she liked certain plumbers
With me she feels the same:
For compensation when he's born
A Son of mine by name:
O shitloads ...
3. The King down to the lowly paupers
Engaged in the grind.
But now they'll all be tested
And to a contract bind.
Hopes upon hopes it will not be
The Jew's genes that we find:
O shitloads ...

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