UnScripts talk:Trojan War

Original Article

There was definitely a Trojan War article before April 2006; anyone know what happen? --Ahmed the Jewess 05:36, 22 September 2006 (UTC)

I know what happened. It was a seriously crappy article, nominated for deletion, so I deleted it and wrote a new article that was much, much better. Believe me. --The Llama Llover!!!

Just to show you, here was the previous article.....

The great Trojan War was an epic battle of condoms that ravaged the earth for a millenia. Major battle locations include Athens, Rome, the Mushroom Kingdom, Hell, and Club Paris in Jacksonville, Florida. The Trojans emerged victorious, breaking the defenses in a tide of testosterone-induced power.

Two popular brands, Trojan and Lifestyles, were in a competition to generate more revenue. Trojans were endorsed by such celebrities as George Washington, Adolf Hitler, and the Headless Horseman. On the other end of the spectrum, Lifestyles had gathered the support of the count of Monte Crisco, Dracula, and King Henry XXNGVIIRTHYSSIIIII.

Heroes emerged on both sides. Trojan general Dick Hertz's surprise ambush on the Lifestyles Vulva base cost the enemy severely, and they barely had the elasticity to strike back. Jedi Lifestyles commander Obi-Wan Kenobi, along with co-commander Hugh Jorgan, claimed responsibility for the bombing of the Prince Albert Piercing Missle Production Factory.

In the aftermath of this epic battle, the birth control pill was introduced into warfare when it was used by Dixie Normus. The result was amazing. Many, such as Fat Bastard and Achilles, were able to engage and not reproduce. The only failure of the birth control pill was between Cher and Satan. They named their offspring "George Bush" and it is said that he will rule the Earth after his third reincarnation in the year 2666AD.

From Pee Review

I made this page a while ago, but can't think of how to edit it so it's better... help! --Llama-Llover 19:26, 4 November 2006 (UTC)

Well, it's pretty random. It needs a stronger narrative to go to it. Take the red pill (Homer) or the Blue Pill (The Matrix) and go for it. The dialogue is pretty funny, though, and I think you're close.--Procopius 04:22, 5 November 2006 (UTC)

It seems to rely too much on the random involvement of irrelevant people (Matrix characters, Dr. Phil etc.); a few more jokes actually relating to the Iliad would spruce it up no end... the line about the tens of thousands of other Greeks not really mattering, for example, is perfect- think more along those lines. --Sir Jam 11:31, 5 November 2006 (UTC)

Yes this, so much, oh how I could edit the page to be the epic it's supposed to be! Hercules and other Greek characters are on my agenda too! I specialize in this kind of thing! Nacky (talk) 22:54, 25 February 2022 (UTC)Nacky

A Mess

Needs some work here! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 23:18, June 17, 2012 (UTC)

Oh please, oh please, oh please let me go in there and fix this Trojan War page! Nacky (talk) 22:52, 25 February 2022 (UTC)Nacky

Okay so I did something with this monstrosity. I honestly could write up a longer one and leave out the elements of Einstein, Dr. Phil, and monkeys but it's at least a little better and more coherent. I think. I worked with what was already there but someone really needed to read a little bit of Homer before attempting this. There's so much there, that none of those unrelated elements would have been needed. IMO. Nacky (talk) 01:34, 28 February 2022 (UTC)Nacky

I am struggling with this so much. I want to wipe out all the stupid stuff, and give this article the proper-telling but I'm not mean. But oh what I could do with this. Sigh. Nacky (talk) 09:18, 2 March 2022 (UTC)Nacky