UnScripts:Titanic Wireless Transmissions Conspiracy

Edwardian Web: 0.1

For 100 years the truth about what happened when the RMS Titanic radioed for help on the night of the 14th April 1912 has been believed lost. Now for the first time after some secret research at the Marconi archives, the original wireless log books of the RMS Titanic and her sister ship RMS Olympic, the White Star liner RMS Baltic and the Cunard ship RMS Carpathia have been found. They reveal there was a cover up by Marconi and an attempt to 'straighten' the record to show how heroic everyone was on that night.

Some of this has been known before but was long dismissed as 'anti-Marconi propaganda'. On that day the RMS Titanic had been sending out and receiving private messages for the passengers. In amongst all the verbiage, some ships had been sending ice warnings but the Titanic's wireless operators wanted to finish off sending out the private traffic before midnight. The transcripts start with the Titanic talking to Cape Race, the wireless station in Newfoundland. All messages timed as recorded on the Titanic.

11.00 p.m. 14th April 1912

SOS..SOS..CQD..LMFAO..LOL..LOL

RMS TITANIC:... …and Aunt Emma says bring fresh clothes for Uncle Albert when we reach New York. He had an accident in the dining room. Love and Kissy-Wissy Hilda Hooplah.

CAPE RACE: Lot of people want to send out messages tonight. How do you guys get time off checking reports from other ships?

RMS TITANIC: Mr Marconi likes it that way. He pays our wages, not the ship. More personal messages to transmit.

CAPE RACE: Listening.

SS CALIFORNIAN: Say Old Man, there's a lot of ice about tonight.

RMS TITANIC: SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP. GET OFF THE FREQUENCY!

SS CALIFORNIAN: Keep your hair on limey operator. We have stopped. Ice, ice baby!

CAPE RACE: Clear the frequency CALFORNIAN. TITANIC is transmitting important messages.

SS CALIFORNIAN: I heard. Love and hugs to my pet pekinese. Save a kiss for my cat. I have listened to some of the traffic. Makes me sick.

RMS TITANIC: You were listening?

French postcard.

SS CALIFORNIAN: Gag me with a spoon. I am sure, totally. I'm off to bed to read my French Postcards. Goodnight you rude BASTARDS.

RMS TITANIC: I am ready to start sending again. Ignore anymore Iceberg warnings. Captain Smith has a pocket full of them.

CAPE RACE: Standing by TITANIC.

(For the next 30 minutes Titanic and Cape Race exchange personal messages from passengers and receive ones sent onshore. This carries on until...)

11.40p.m.

RMS TITANIC: Message for the White House. Can they receive Marconigrams?

CAPE RACE: Yes.

RMS TITANIC: President Roosevelt to President Taft. Dear Mr President. It gives me great pleasure to instruct you to GO FU..

11.44p.m

CAPE RACE: Please repeat last message TITANIC. Transmission interrupted.

11.46p.m

CAPE RACE: TITANIC? Last message was not received in full.

RMS TITANIC: Perhaps a drunk has gone overboard. Stand by for more messages.

CAPE RACE: Standing by. Putting coffee pot back on fire for fresh cup.

(Another long gap. Cape Race carries on sending messages sent to them from the Titanic. Then this message is flashed ...)

What's your position Titanic? What about Uncle Albert's trousers??

12.12a.m (15th April 1912)

RMS TITANIC: CQD. 41.44 N 50.24 W. MESSAGE FROM TITANIC. CQD CQD. ALL SHIPS IN AREA ACKNOWLEDGE. 41.44 N 50.24 W.

RMS OLYMPIC: We hear you sister. What's up?

RMS TITANIC: CQD CQD. 41.44 N 50.24 W. Need assistance.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: CQD? Canadian Quakers Dribbling? Can't Quit Dating?? Can't Quit Dogging??? Don't understand your lingo, is this new code?

CAPE RACE: Still waiting for the rest of message meant for President Taft. Reminder: Breaks off at GO FU...rest of it in Chinese?

RMS BALTIC: TITANIC, your friends at RMS BALTIC heard that message. What gives?

Carpathia kicks up steam.

12.15a.m

NDL FRANKFURT: Was ist Das?

RMS OLYMPIC: Nose out Fritz. I am talking to the TITANIC.

RMS CARPATHIA: We heard your message TITANIC. We are 50 miles from your location. What has happened?

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: CQD? Come Quick Darling?? You having fun in the wireless room???

RMS OLYMPIC: LOL. Lose your job if that happens.

I'll just take a break for a five minute smoke and photo exposure.

12.17a.m

RMS TITANIC: CQD CQD SOS TITANIC Position 41.44 N 50.24 W. Require immediate assistance. Come at once. We struck an iceberg. Sinking.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: Now SOS as well. Sex on Ship? Your call signs are a hoot TITANIC. We provincials miss all the fun.

NDL FRANKFURT: You English ship punching nice icebergs? Did they hit you first??

12.18a.m

Theodore Roosevelt:'Get my message Taft? Sent it via a friend on the Titanic.'

RMS TITANIC: SHUT UP YOU GERMAN IDIOT. CQD..SOS..

RMS OLYMPIC: Who is sinking? We are Unsinkable!

SS VIRGINIAN: Howdy all. What's going on tonight?

CAPE RACE: Do you want to send any more personal messages TITANIC?

RMS TITANIC: CQD SOS. Require immediate assistance. Position 41.44 N 50.24 W.

12.25a.m

The Olympic in charge?

RMS OLYMPIC: Hey Baby sis. Tell us more about this iceberg. Why did you hit it? I know, navigating can get boring sometimes.

RMS TITANIC: Our position is now 41 46 N50 14 W. SOS. Come now. Help needed.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE : Make your mind up TITANIC. Took us 15 minutes to work out what you have been messaging. Now you're underway again?

SS VIRGINIAN: Something up with the TIT-ANIC? Getting up to speed here. You been bashing bergs out there?

12.30a.m

NDL FRANKFURT: TITANIC? Why you so angry with us?? We Germans build good ships and English don't???

RMS BALTIC: Hey Fritz. We're a White Star liner too! You want to get rammed up the stern??

NDL FRANKFURT: Oooh..soo touchy...so touchy.

RMS OLYMPIC: We'll crush you like a tin can FRANKFURT.

RMS TITANIC: SOS.SOS. We did not hit Iceberg VIRGINIAN. It hit us first. 41 46 N50 14 W.

SS VIRGINIAN: No one said you did. Just the facts Mam.

12.35a.m

The Iceberg?

RMS CARPATHIA: Received TITANIC's new position. Can you lot stop jamming the frequencies with this chatter?

RMS OLYMPIC: We're in charge here. Our ship is bigger and has a more powerful transmitter. Any requests to talk to TITANIC come through us.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: We are closer to the TITANIC but she isn't talking to anyone.

SS BIRMA: Who is sinking? ICEBERG?? We heard some message but wireless works bad.

SS VIRGINIAN: There is a ship called ICEBERG? That's novel.

12.40a.m

RMS TITANIC: SOS...SOS... 41 46 N50 14 W. Assistance required immediately.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: What happened to CQD?

SS BIRMA: I am trying to signal ICEBERG. No response.

I hope you are wearing warm underwear.

RMC OLYMPIC: We're on our way TITANIC. Don't go down us eh? LOLOL

RMS CARPATHIA: Should reach TITANIC in four hours.

RMS TITANIC: DON'T HAVE TIME FOR SAPPHIC JOKES. SOS..immediate assistance required. 41 46 N50 14 W.

12.45a.m

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: What is LOL?

CAPE RACE: Laughing on Lounger. OLYMPIC? Do you want me to send Passenger Messages??

NDL FRANKFURT: They got slapped by little Sister TITTY. Kiss my iceberg White Star ships!

RMS BALTIC: You wait when I find you in port FRANKFURT.

RMS OLYMPIC: I am not hurt. TITANIC is not sinking. We're Unsinkable.

SS BIRMA: I see ICEBERG. Who is TITANIC?

Generating a lot of traffic. Mostly drivel.

1.00a.m

CAPE RACE: Private Message to TITANIC. Sorry, we don't have fresh clothes for Uncle Albert, Love Hank in New York.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: They are talking in code again.

RMS TITANIC: Why is the IDIOT WATCH on tonight!? SOS SOS..41 46 N50 14 W.

RMS OLYMPIC: Now, no need to get arsey TITANIC. We have crossed that ocean many times and didn't run into anything. You did. Live with it!

RMS CARPATHIA: You are getting fainter TITANIC. Are you moving away?

SS VIRGINIAN: Didn't you lose a screw on your last trip OLYMPIC?

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: Those White Star ships are floating brothels!

RMS BALTIC: SS MOUNT TEMPLE. You want me to slice your stern off next time I am around?

NDL FRANKFURT: White Star should be Crash Star! OLYMPIC ram a British warship last year.

RMS OLYMPIC: Zip it Fritz. You're blocking frequencies.

RMS BALTIC: Suck your own bratwurst KRAUTFURT.

No tow for Titanic this time.

1.15a.m

RMS TITANIC: SOS..Lifeboats loaded. Women and Children only. 41 46 N50 14 W.

SS VIRGINIAN: Loading them with what? Drugs, alcohol??

RMS TITANIC: Women and children first. SOS..SOS.41 46 N50 14 W. Come quick. Firing rockets.

SS VIRGINIAN: Will that make you float higher TITANIC?

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: Hahaha. Oh sorry LOL! CQD!! Looks like a party is going on TITANIC!!!

SS BIRMA: Who are these ships KRAUTFURT and IDIOT WATCH? Are they looking for ICEBERG??

1.30a.m

You can attract a rescue ship by doing this.

RMS TITANIC: Water in engine room. May lose power. Talk to OLYMPIC as they have good MARCONI transmitter. You lot shouldn't use cheap equipment. 41 46 N50 14 W.

RMS CARPATHIA: Your signal is weaker. Have you recharged your batteries?

NDL FRANKFURT: I can talk to you TITANIC but you say bad things about me and Germany.

CAPE RACE: President Taft's office ask for clarification with last message TITANIC. Who is GO FU?

1.40a.m

Uncle Albert: No clean pants.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: We checked our naval code books. What does Uncle Albert mean?

RMS BALTIC: Only Fools and Horses.

SS VIRGINIAN: These limey tubs love their cockney slang. I haven't had so much fun with my clothes on since the 4th of July.

RMS TITANIC: SOS..SOS CAN YOU HEAR ME MOTHER? 41 46 N50 14 W. FRANKFURT. STOP SULKING. WE NEED ASSISTANCE. 41 46 N50 14 W.

RMS CARPATHIA: We will be with you in 4 hours TITANIC. Keep signalling your position.

1.44a.m

You need one of these? Marconi Wireless. Best chance to survive in an ice-strewn sea.

RMS OLYMPIC: Hey girl. Sorry about our last chat. No one else can hear you now except us. We will steer towards your last position. How is the weather?

RMS TITANIC: Calm. The sea is as smooth as a baby's bottom. SOS..SOS..41 46 N50 14 W. We can see ship nearby...

NDL FRANKFURT: Has the TITANIC become England's first submarine?

RMS OLYMPIC: Fritz, see you in two years time!

RMS CARPATHIA: Cannot speak to TITANIC. Can your hear us OLYMPIC??

CAPE RACE: OLYMPIC are transmitting personal messages. Marconi Contracts you understand.

1.55a.m

RMS OLYMPIC: TITANIC says she needs urgent assistance. Going down by the head. 41 46 N50 14 W. Says she can see ship nearby.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: They are brave. Still having sex with all this going on.

RMS BALTIC: No, I am sure that's just the Italian waiters.

NDL FRANKFURT: For the first time tonight, I can agree with you Britishers.

Hockey time tonight!

SS VIRGINIAN: Who can you see TITANIC? Sure it's not an ICEBERG??

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: LOL..LMFAO..RTFM.. Like your humour VIRGINIAN.

2.05a.m

SS BIRMA: ICEBERG not responding.

RMS BALTIC: No ship called ICEBERG. repeat ICEBERG is not a ship. Lumpy Frozen water. Snowy island! Understand BIRMA??

SS BIRMA: Sorry, we are Russians. Our English not so good. Our wireless is very bad.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: RUSSIANS? Hey..fancy a game of hockey on deck?

RMS CARPATHIA: Anymore news? Anymore news?? TITANIC, OLYMPIC respond. We are steaming PDQ..PDQ to your last location.

SS VIRGINIAN: Do you play hockey?

RMS OLYMPIC: TITANIC says all lifeboats launched. Only ones bought at IKEA left.

2.13a.m

German stereotype with stuffed bird on head.

CAPE RACE: Has anyone heard anything from TITANIC?

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: I am picking up something: SOD THIS FOR A GAME OF..

RMS OLYMPIC: Sorry that was me. Just testing the equipment. I haven't heard anything from TITANIC for last five minutes.

NDL FRANKFURT: SOS..SOS...GOTT IM HIMMEL..change the cylinder TITANIC.

RMS BALTIC: You're so going to get your arse kicked FRANKFURT!

2.18a.m

Someone has dressed up for the weather.

RMS TITANIC: Look..I kept quiet because I couldn't believe that I have been talking to a bunch of idiots for the last two hours. MY MESSAGES WERE BLOODY EASY TO READ! WE'RE SIN...

CAPE RACE: What do you want me to tell Uncle Albert's family about his clothes?

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: Now where has TITANIC gone? We are SINNING?? We know that!

SS BIRMA: IKEA? Is that Eskimo for Iceberg??

SS VIRGINIAN: Who is signalling PDQ PDQ? What does that mean??

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: More code. That is coming from CARPATHIA. Will look it up.

2.25a.m

What has happened to your ship?

RMS OLYMPIC: Can't contact TITANIC. Anyone else picking up messages from her?

RMS BALTIC: No.

NDL FRANKFURT: Nein.

SS BIRMA: Nyet?

SS VIRGINIAN: No dude.

SS MOUNT TEMPLE: Where's everyone gone?

CAPE RACE: Uncle Albert won't be needing those trousers after all.

RMS CARPATHIA: TITANIC...Hold on. We are steaming PDQ.

2.30a.m

RMS CARPATHIA: I will be there at 4.30am. What is your last position TITANIC?

4.50a.m

(No record of any other ship heard this exchange between Carpathia and Olympic.)

RMS CARPATHIA: Survivors found. TITANIC has sunk. Wireless operator Bride survived but colleague died. Advise how we should break this story.

RMS OLYMPIC: Oh. Will contact Mr Marconi. Keep Bride away from other passengers. Need to work our story on this. Will contact other operators on the ships we talked to privately.

RMS CARPATHIA: Ok standing by. Will continue search. Last co-ordinates for the TITANIC are 41 46 N50 14 W

5.10a.m

RMS OLYMPIC: Search area for lifeboats. TITANIC cannot be found. Keep searching.

I dreamt of moving deck chairs.

SS CALIFORNIAN: Just woke up. I had pleasant French dreams last night. Anything happen whilst I was asleep? What happened to that rude bastard on the TITANIC?

CAPE RACE: It's all your fault CALIFORNIAN.

SS CALIFORNIAN: What I do now?

Postscript: In the subsequent Titanic enquiries, the Californian was blamed for not keeping a 24 hour watch on their wireless set. The original wireless log books were hidden away and a version given out as the official record. As this transcript revealed, there was a conspiracy to blame one ship for the disaster..and it wasn't the RMS Titanic.

UnScripts:Titanic Wireless Transmissions Conspiracy

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