UnNews:World saved by Fergie Time
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
23 May 2013
Evil overlord Howard Webb was thankfully stopped from destroying the world in a horrible fashion, by Sir Alex Feguson, who used the last seconds of Fergie Time to snatch a victory for Earth. The Ref Star, made by Webb himself, was just about to laser us all to death, but Ferguson used the infamous "Fergie Time" to save the day. He took a shot, about 25 yards out, and it torpedoed into the exhaust pipe of The Ref Star which caused a chain reaction that blew up Webb's evil creation.
Ferguson, leader of red squadron, was treated as a hero back home, and decided to retire on a high. "It was squeaky bum time out there," said Sir Alex. "I think it's the fact that I'm forceful towards referee's that makes them give me extra time. Or maybe the fact that I share me gum?"
UnNews asked Sir Alex how he preares for an attack. "First, the hairdryer treatment, youse can't rush off with your hair in a mess," he said in a thick Scottish accent."Then youse get your ship ready. Have youse seen Dion Dublin's? Big? It isn't big. It's magnificent! I've seen some whoppers in my time, but Dion's is something else." He then proceeded to make various gargling sounds that not a single translator could understand.
However, leader of gold squadron, José Mourinho believes that he was the one to save the world. "I am "the special one" okay? That does not mean I am reterded, it means I am mentally unique in many ways, and I know that I, sexy leader of the almighty gold squadrom was the one to save you puny plebs. In fact, I am so sexy, a lady once asked me to sign her tit. And I did. But it cost me £30.8 million.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- IFYMB!, "I did pressure officials into giving me 'Fergie Time' admits retiring legend Ferguson" Daily Mail, 16 May 2013