UnNews:World ends with no major news stories

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11 November 2006

The world in 1996. The world ended Thursday, November 9, with no major news stories developing.

EARTH, The Universe -- After billions and billions of years in existence, The World ended Thursday with little or no news sources ackowledging the story. Says CNN's Wolf Blitzer:

“We didn't really feel it was an important news story. People really don't care about the end of the world anymore. Hey, who farted?”

~ Wolf Blitzer on the end of the world

The media not only had a lack of news on the end of the world, but also struggled to find any interesting news stories to broadcast. The best they could do included The Sun's review of the movie Snakes on a Plane, an old guy bowling on his 80th birthday, and a cat getting stuck in a tree after listening to Kevin Federline's horrible CD.

There are many factors as to why Thursday was such a slow news day: It was reportedly Larry King's day off. There were no delevopments in the Britney Spears divorce. President Bush didn't do anything stupid. Nobody really cared about the Congressional election. And apparently, Chris Matthews was too bored to make up a news story to fill the void. Says Matthews, "I just decided to go home and take a long nap."

Some people, including Paris Hilton, John Candy, Vincent Price, and George W. Bush knew anything about the end of the world.

More details will be available as this story develops.

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