UnNews:Utah murderer will be executed by Death Star

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23 April 2010

Ronnie Lee Gardner killed a man during an escape attempt in 1985.

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah -- A convicted murderer in the US state of Utah has chosen to be executed by disintegration.

When given a choice between lethal injection or being shot, Ronnie Lee Gardner told the judge, "I would like to be vaporized by a Death Star, please."

Of the 35 US states that have the death penalty, Utah is the only one to give firing squads as an option.

Critics say the method is a relic from the state's Wild West past and should be abolished.

Engineers think we may be able to build a Death Star by the 24th century.

In a brilliant piece of jailhouse lawyering, the defendant authored an appeal to be put to death by the instrument of his choosing. The judge was forced to rule for the defendant due to an obscure legal loophole in the state's constitution, dating from 1902, that allows a God-Fearing man to decide the vehicle of his execution.

"It makes sense, if you look at Mormonism as a whole," says Gardner's lawyer. "With all the crazy shit they believe, it's no surprise to find such a precedent in a legal code which originates from a superstitious belief system."

The judge in Salt Lake City originally set Gardner's execution date for 18 June 2010, but Gardner's lawyer said he expects his client will be deceased before Death Star technology is perfected and approved as a humane method of execution..

Engineers and technical consultants say that a working prototype of a Death Star could not possibly be constructed before the 24th century, and that several major scientific breakthroughs will need to happen first.

Correspondents say he may still petition the state parole board to commute his sentence to life imprisonment.