UnNews:UnRock Awarded Most unFamous Band on Earth
16 February 2010
RAPID CITY, South Dakota -- Unknown band, “unRock” were awarded with the “Most unFamous Band on Earth” Trophy for the 3rd straight year. The award was presented by Joe Shmoe, on behalf of the “Totally Nowhere Society”, with headquarters far away from Mount Rushmore. “It’s quite the opposite of being 'Most Famous!'” - Shmoe told UnNews.
The leader (who will not divulge his/her name for fear of being known), former lead singer for 80s outrage, Twisted Sister, told reporters, “Being known as the most of anything, is still being known, and I just want total anonymity. After my last band I was sick to death of audiences paying to hear us, getting filthy rich, with reporters wanting interviews, and girls offering oral sex – I was sick of it. But this award is no surprise, being our third year in a row as ‘Most unFamous Band on Earth’. I only wish it would all just vanish so we could get some peace and quiet.”
The Mayor of Rapid City, Joseph Studberry, told UnNews, “They’re just shy! Really, being the most unFamous is just as special as being the most famous. We’re proud of the boys, and plan to honor them with total disregard. No one in the entire USA wants to hear them. But we’re proud to be associated with any type of distinction.”
Chairman of the “Totally Nowhere Society”, Melvin Bigfoot, told UnNews, That’s the last you’ll read of these nobodies. They’re getting too well known as a result of this award, so I don’t think they can even qualify to run again next year.”
UnNews plans to wait and see.
- MacArthur Sphincter "Unknown is not unloved." Boston Globe, February 15, 2010